Lame and the Trampoline Tramp

I’m jacked!  Who’s excited for exams!  OH WAIT, no one.  That’s right.

Angela: “And then I said, that’s not my cousin, that’s my horse!”

Ryan: “JESUS, why is this building on this community lot so colorfully BLINDING?!”

Last chapter was Angela’s bachelorette party, and then she and Liam got married the next day down by the bay

Where the watermelon jack-o-lanterns grow

Angela: “Hey Liam, you can’t come into the little girl’s room with me!  But while you are here: congratulations!  You are no longer a bachelor!”

Liam: “Why do you keep doing that, Angela?  Nooo-”

Liam: “Oh lord, it’s cold, PLEASE tell me you didn’t refill this in the toilet D:”

Angela: “Pee jokes were last chapter, Liam.”

I don’t know why I can still do this with Angela.  Strangely enough, this interaction is only available for anyone who talks to Liam, so apparently he’s the one that’s bugged.

Speaking of the little bug, let’s introduce him a bit:

Liam: “Uh oh.  Who wished for a toy?  Is there something I don’t know yet?”

Probably.  Liam is a good hearted nerd, and yet since he’s a hopeless romantic, he’s a borderline whore.  And yet, since he’s never nude, you won’t see him with his pants off, which I think is an awkward combination of traits.  Good job EA.  He’s the most sexually repressed dork in the video game world.

I forgot his LTW but it doesn’t matter, now that he’s in the house, he’s on his own.  So welcome Liam to the household: one of the most recognizable faces in the sims 3 universe, his flaming red hair, and owner of the most scawniest little bird legs this side of CyclOn3 SwOrd.

Liam: “Who, CyclOn3?  We used to play WoW together.  Good times.”

Eunice: “Oh Evalin!  I was just thinking about you… Look, I was wondering, about all that happened at the party the other night.  I got drunk and you got drunk and one thing lead to another… that didn’t mean anything to you… did it?”

Evalin: “What with the kissing and your tongue down my throat and all that shit?”

Eunice: “Uh… yeah, all that…”

Evalin: “Wow, you really are stupid.  All that fat fill in that cavity you call a skull?  Because that’s not a brain, Eunice.”

Eunice: “WELL I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO INSULTED IN MY LIFE.”

Evalin: “Haha!  It’s so much fun to torment you, little tubby girl.  It’s such a freaking turn on for me…”

Well then.

What a strange turn of events.

Please tell me you haven’t just been standing here all day long since I left you on this lot this morning.

Angela: “The view is just so beautiful from inside this cheerful little room.  Oh… I can just see our little cozy home over the hill from here… with it’s fridge and bed that I so long for…”

I get it, you are stupid, let’s get you home, Angela.

Angela: “Oh!  I am with child!  This is the most glorious day of my life on Earth!  Who knew that me and the love of my life could bring a being into the world…”

And yet, my first concern is how bad your B.O. is against that dark wall.  Holy crap.

Evalin: “Bitch, I’m on my way out to make dat cash.  You better watch your shit and take care of my sister while I’m out, Stupid.”

Liam: “You don’t worry a thing about me!  I got this!  I can watch my wife, and look, I’m even cleaning up the house!  I will be the best husband ever!”

Evalin: “Ugh, I just want to tie you to a cinder block and throw you in the bay.”

What’s this?!  Flirting?   Friskiness?!

Liam: “Oh, my sweet wifey boo boo baby!  So cute and you’re motherly glow makes you just adorable!”

Angela: “Oh, you are so sweet Liam!”

Jeez guys, for the “good innocent” ones in the legacy, you two are going to end up getting it on like rabbits all the time, aren’t you?

Angela:  “Hmmm… all this considered, I really really want to get a trampoline now…”

REALLY

Evalin: “Hmm… for some reason, I really want to get a trampoline too…”

At the same time, go figure, you two.

Evalin: “If I got a trampoline, will you be my tramp on it?”

Eunice: “I… don’t know how to respond to that.”

Evalin: “It is a yes or no question, you idiot.  Yes or no.”

Evalin: “I’ve been thinking, fat Eunice girl.  I don’t like my sister outdoing me, and she’s married now with a kid.  Will you be mine and birth my human monstrosities as well?”

Eunice: “What the crap kind of question was that, you psycho fre- ooooh, are these roses?  I like roses.”

Evalin: “Sure as hell are, I suppose!  I stole them out of Lame O’Dork’s inventory,  I guess he would have just given them to my constantly swooning sister anyway.  If they are enough to tide her over, then it should be plenty to win you over as well.”

Evalin: “Also here, this as well.”

Eunice: “HOLY SHIT, AN ENGAGEMENT RING?!”

Evalin: “Yeah, something something, about my stupid sister’s obsession with penguins.  I also stole this from her Lame husband.  He was just wearing on his finger anyway, so he wasn’t going to use it, here.”

Eunice: “This is a nice ring, I love… oh, the little sparkle it had went away…”

Evalin: “Well the son of a bitch better come back, or I will hunt down that sparkle’s family and kill every one it loves.”

Eunice: “It worked!  Your violent threats against inanimate objects brought the sparkle back!  You are a mad genius!”

Evalin: “Was it not suppose to?”

Eunice: “You are just pure evil, Evalin!  Of course I will marry you!”

Evalin: “Yeah yeah, whatevers.  Let’s get this over with so I can get this “family” business out of my way.”

And so, Evalin and Eunice hitched instantly, before Evalin ruined it with a want to be mean to Eunice or something.

Evalin: “Too late!  Heeee, I want to yell at you now :D”

Eunice: “Fuck my life.”

I made them make up and then they went to the theater to consumate the marriage watch a movie.

Evalin: “THIS BREAKING DAWN SEX SCENE MAKES ME SO HOT”

Eunice: “UNF”

Traumatized deer: “I’M SCARED”

And now we introduce Eunice, one of Hidden Springs’ “evil stepsisters”, who in my game has found her “prince charming”.  If you can call Evalin charming.  I don’t know, she’s pretty charismatic already.

Now that she’s in the household, good luck, Eunice.  You might need it.

Eunice: “Nah, I don’t need luck.  I got a trampoline.  Hell yeah.”

And an unlikely friendship was made between these two.

Evalin: “Hell yeah, I got me a mating partner!  No one believed I could do it, but I got one, and now I will spread my seed and influence throughout this world!  Haha!  Fuck you especially tree, you told me I would be nothing!  I should set you on fire.”

I had sent them all out to a little kiddie park just for a change of scenery (Eunice didn’t come because she sucks)

Angela: “But I wanted to sit next to my huuuuusbaaaaaand, we are in looooooove”

Evalin: “Yeah, tough shit, Angela.  I was here first.”

Liam: “You sure smell like it.”

Evalin: “Don’t try me, asshole.”

Liam: *Hearts hearts*

Evalin: “Don’t even fucking think about it, loser.”

Liam: “I’m actually here on a date with my waifu, so don’t even worry about it, Evalin.”

Evalin: “You must really love my sister, don’t you?  Well, I guess that’s a good thing.  Someone has to take care of her when I end up leaving to take over the world.  I think I might just kill you last.”

Liam: “Oh…ok.”

Angela: “This is lame.  I don’t wanna come all the way to the park to sit alone *sulk*”

Evalin: “But you BETTER take care of my sister!  I’m serious, Lame!  If I find out you upset her in ANY way, I will hunt you down and DESTROY you!  With dinosaurs!  And lazers!”

Liam: “I’m really hungry now that I think about it…”

Liam: “Honey, do you have any of that salad you brought with us for a little picnic?”

Evalin: “I ATE IT ALL!  BWA HA HA, I AM A JERK”

Angela: “NOOOO, Evalin!  I was saving that for our date!”

Evalin: “You know what the best part of this whole pregnancy of yours is?  With you out of my way in office, nothing is going to stop me from over powering your Party and taking over the world!”

Angela: “It’s going to be fine, sis!  All good things will work out in the end!  I think you will be a good leader in the end anyway!”

Evalin: “I could just push you off this swing.”

Evalin: “Also, Lame!  With my sister not bringing in the money, you better carry your workload and bring home some money.  I will not spend my well earned cash on MY wants!”

Liam: *Tries to ignore Evalin*

Angela: “I wanted to see that new Breaking Dawn movie, but the theater was closed because of a tragic public indecency a few nights agoOH MY GOODNESS THIS HURTS, SOMEONE CALL MY HUSBAND”

Time for our first baby!!

And there it is…

And it’s name…

WILL BE REVEALED NEXT CHAPTER BECAUSE I’M A BUTT

BWAHAHA, now I am off to go breed a copy of Liam with CyclOn3, to make the ULTIMATE NERD BABY

*flies away*