Me Not Caring

1Horror: “Weeeeee, I’m cancelling going to the strip club to have my birthday right here instead!!”

Don’t care.2Horror: “Hell yeah, I’m hot. I’ve also decided I hate technology so have what you will with that!”

Don’t CARE.3Trust: “Wait, if it’s Horror’s birthday, then that means it’s also my birthday too! Come on, Terror, let’s grow up together!”

Terri: “Ok but… do you must do so INSIDE MY esophagus”4Truth: “I cannot wait to no longer be a teenage boy”

Terror: “I didn’t need that lung anyway”5Trust: “Woo, that felt good. Too bad I canceled going down the the club for this because I would have loved to party down like it was 1999! (Party animal for the reference.)”

Terror: “Brain lobe’s gone”6Terror: “Alright now it’s my turn!”

Trust: “AAAAaaah… I’m already tired.”

I’ve been tired.7Crystal: “Well the party isn’t over here yet! Guess what my sweethearts! Mommy’s having her birthday toooooo!”

Terror: *One toot, that’s all he’s permitting*8Crystal: “I’m old now and don’t actually feel this Jackie Kennedy get-up you settled me down for.”

Still don’t care.9Back in the club, where Fear will celebrate biting down on his last two victims, and it is…


Courage: “Just us family and I’m still not down for his kink, so I’m still not on the record.”10Fear: “Yeah but I don’t think I actually bit you any time lately, Sister War!  Matter of fact, I don’t think we ever even talked to each other ever!  So how about it, War?  Are you willing to donate your blood to the cause of your new pagan God and fill my stomach at the same time?”

Pain: “There are no refreshments at the Ritual Meetings by the way, War.  So yeah if you’re getting into Fear’s cult for that, he’s lying about it.  It’s how he roped me into his bullshit myself.”

Courage: “Where are the dancers I was promised?  The ones with the bazongas out to here???  I’m getting really tired of constantly being lied to too.”11War: “Mlem mlem”

Pain: “No hoe can balance better than me in my heels on my three toes, I make this stage my bitch”

Courage: “Wow that really is real talent I’ll admit”12Fear: “I can’t believe she’s the only one that came to my stripper party/cult trap tonight :(”

War: “Yeah and I will demand refreshments, because I will require them in my contract.”

Fear: “Yeah fine whatever.”

Pain: “Awh that’s not fair, if you get to make demands for snacks, then I should get snacks too!!”13Pain gets bitten again just because.

War: “Ok bye I’m off to swim back across the pond in full leather wear”14Fear: “Wow this is an absolute waste of my time and $1’s.”

The strip club was never a popular site to be fair.  I think being settled in the center of a pond with no real nearby road kinda caused that.16RIP to the strip club then.  After waiting the remainder of the night I picked a random lot for Fear to find his last victim, since surely anything would be busier than that.

Fear: “Surely this can’t possibly be it though.  Who stocks all their milk and OldSpice soap on a second story floor accessable only by a ladder behind the register desk?  Did I end up in a Winchester House closet or some shit?”

Ah well, the doorbell instantly tinged, so you know what that means!17Jimmie: “Hey I need to make a return without a receipt, and I don’t have the item with me, but if I don’t get cash I’ll piss in your freezer section to compensate.”

Fear: “I clearly don’t care enough about any of that and you have no choice but to serve my Lord.  May the devils be with you.”18Jimmie: “π=3.14”

Mercedes: “If Jimmie’s doesn’t get me this bong I want I’m shoving all of these up his ass.”19Fear: “Damn do I ever feel so fulfilled in my life.  Now go forward my son, and spread laughter and cheer in no one’s life from this day forward.”

Jimmie: “Damn that was weird, also where is Mercedes going with my debit card and those bongs”20Back at the house, I’m not going to talk about why one of Terror’s thighs look so hella thick, but he might need a doctor because I don’t think he’s athletic.

Terror: “You don’t even want to talk about my new trait at all :(”

Well not really, because heavy sleeper is boring, but there it is anyway.21Horror: “Awh damn you caught me still sneaking around the house to avoid getting kicked out.  I’m totally blaming this all on Terror.”

Yeah, totally his fault I ended up not loving you.22But there they are.  They’re ok.

They’re off to live with Loathing and the gangly band of siblings in their beach box.

Terror: “I like beaches!”

Horror: “I like boxes!”23Pain: “Great, so while the last of you losers just sit around until you’re about to piss yourselves before realizing you need to go home, I’m just going to sit here, and enjoy retirement with some good old fashion television…”24Pain: “…Alright who ate the entire pool yard????”

Guess what it’s time for everyone!

That’s right!  It’s time to MOVE!!!

I have been idle long enough waiting for an evil spouse to possibly drop, and at this time, the only evil in the town has been relatives from the Salas’ side, and IFs that were abandoned long ago, so I’m off to look at some fresh meat in another town.

That and the never fixing issue of this house not able to use beds is… horrible.  Honestly how CPS didn’t take the kids away because of all the snow sleeping (cough HORROR) is a fucking miracle.  So yeah.  If moving out of Midnight Hollows doesn’t solve this issue, I’m going to sob.25Judd:  “Damn Euphoria I bet the chickens out in their coop could do better chin ups than you ever can!”

Euphoria: “I could actually bend this metal bar into a pretzel with my thigh power but I like to let Judd feel snobby sometimes, it makes him happy :)”26Euphoria: “Oh darn did I bend it too hard or something”

Judd: “What happened, now all I can see IS the chicken coop”26Of course packing the house does have it’s issues as per usual.

Yes, totally, Fear is OF COURSE using that wall decor that couldn’t be fucking interacted with before in the history of this house ever existing!!  That is the ONLY thing that could POSSIBLY make sense here!!27Courage: “Golly gee it’s so nice to come home after a long hard day of absolutely NO problems or emergencies happening at the fire house, no siree”28Courage: “WHAT HAPPENED!!?  WHO TRASHED THE HOUSE!!?  LITERALLY!! WHERE DID IT GO?!”

Euphoria: “Hee hee, should I tell him the fire breathing dragon actually burnt the house down and he actually missed an opportunity at a job?  Lol he’ll think that would be so funny.  Or completely lose his absolute mind, maybe not29Courage: “Welp.  I guess that’s the end of that.  Time to wrap up all the loose ends and look around on Zillow.”

Not enough loose ends for me to really care about, we leaving NOW.30Fear!  Are you ready to begin anew, abandon all the relationships and connections you have made over the past week and begin fresh in a new town with new people?!

Fear: “No.”

Well too bad I still don’t fucking CARE31Fear: “Well if we are moving I ain’t walking back to the house.  Everyone can just congregate on me and meet me here instead.”

Ever so considerate he is.32So if the gang is going to run all the way down to main street where the taxi met up with Fear, it’s only right to do a impromptu farewell tour of the town on our way there.

Pain: “And this was the house that Sabrina made Love brain bomb with meteors just because the sim that lived there at the time shared the same name as one of her dickheaded exes.  It was fucking great.  Took eight months for my skin grafts to finally heal, but the front row seats I had to the light show was better than any sex or coke I ever had.”

Truth: “I remember the story.  And this amazing indestructible fence!  I heard it literally saved everyone’s life since everyone stood two feet from the impact and all.  And it’s still in such pristine condition too.  This thing will survive the end of the planet for sure.”33Crystal: “And to your left we have the park that no one visited because it was boring as fudge, and the strip club, right across the water way, that everyone wanted to visit but no one in this town can really swim.”34Judd: “And here’s the very street post I picked up the hoe that would later father my kids Dean and Sheryl!  Man, good times.  My kids still never talk to me, but their loss you know lmao”

Courage: “This really isn’t the best tour this town deserves, you know?”35Courage: “This town was so wonderful, and we made so many friends here.  Our family lives here.  This atmosphere may be dark and spooky but still held so much comfort and calmness.  No matter where I go, this town will be my home, and I’ll always have a special place in my heart for it.”36Euphoria: “We don’t got TIME for your monologue, son!!  This tour has also quickly turned into a RACE to see who the first person to the taxi is, and can you believe it’s your old mother and that geriatric Pain IN THE LEAD?!  I can’t STAND for this!!  Hurry up!!”

Courage: “Well why didn’t anyone TELL ME”37Somehow Judd and Happiness ended up stuck on each other and are now in last, so while we wrap up this sidewalk marathon, we’ll say goodbye to Midnight Hallow.  It kinda sucks how long I wanted this town in my game, just for us to only be here for what feels like such a short time.

I would definitely love to come back to this town one day to play again.38Anyway.  Amazing.  Can you fucking believe it.  You have super speed, Happiness.


Happiness: “I-I was just letting him win!  Letting him feel good about himself!  That’s all that happened!!”

Judd: “He got stuck looking at a turtle trying to have sex with an old shoe over by the park and had to stop and laugh at it for five minutes straight.  I took advantage of his stupidity.”39And so, one very short four minute taxi drive later, around two hills and past 14 Dollar Generals, we finally arrive at a town I had been keeping my eye on for a short while now…40And that is Dragon Valley!  I’ve had this town longer than even Midnight Hollow (I mean, duh, the dragons) and feel its time to look around this place too!  We also spent the past several gens in “spooky” themed towns, and I feel it’s time to lighten back up a bit, so to speak.  And plus, Dragon Valley gave me very “Hidden Springs vibes” but with more shine and spit polish.  And it’s always nice to be reminded of our original home.41WELL, MAYBE

THE INFINITE ICONS OF A SIMS 2 DEFAULT FACE IS SO FUCKING PROMISING42Fear: “This actually might be wonderful!  More followers for the Almighty Darkness!  More souls to corrupt!  Also the fuck is that fireball in the sky are we already going to die”

Now that I think about it, I don’t think the sun was as prominent in the Hallow as it is here.  Hope they packed some good sunscreen.43Euphoria: “Ok I let Abaddon ride on as a carry on, but only because he was a fire hazard, so I need everyone to check their pockets for everyone else!  I know I assigned Crystal to hold Ramiel so he’s accounted for, and I think you got Courage’s bird, right Judd?”

Judd: “You mean that wasn’t a cook-it-yourself rotisserie chicken?  Eh, I got an old lizard from somewhere.  He won’t notice the difference.”

Euphoria: “Eh probably not.  And Happiness, you were supposed to get Zerachiel.”

Happiness: “Uuuuuuh….. Yeah…. I totally remembered to get… Seashell.  Totally got him.  No worries.  He’s totally here…”


1Fear:  “….So.”

Dean: “Yeah?”

Fear: “I see you have also joined the firefighting career along with Courage and Pestilence and the other one I can’t remember right now.”

Dean: “Don’t see why I shouldn’t.  Just out here trying to make the world a better place.”

Fear: “The Unseen One will not be pleased with this.”

Dean: “Damn do I just not care.”2Oh.  I see the real reason Dean just up and got the job as “lead(?)” firefighter all of a sudden.

Dean: “I’ll do anything for you, Courage.  I mean that.  Anything you want.”

Courage: “Um, will be good to keep in mind?”3Courage: “Oh hockey pucks, the war flash backs are back”

Looks like it’s time for Courage’s first run with saving his local townsfolk!4Wow great start.

Courage: “Shouldn’t we also be sharing the station with an EMT because I need one right now.”5Courage: “It was just some rogue plant attack in the bookstore.  And by that I mean some one lit a joint in the back of the reading section and set the smoke alarm off.  No one needed to be saved.”

Do I anticipate most of Courage’s jobs to be these rabbit hole activities with “no lifesaving” involved?  Yeah.6But over on the other street, his mother HAS reached her LTW and for that I’m grateful.

Euphoria: “I’ve finally completed my life long dream!  I’m now an astronaut!  I’m going to do so many wonderful things exploring the cosmos and reaching for the actual stars!  If my ancestors could see me now they’d be so amazed and proud of me!”

I’m pretty sure your ancestors would be kinda embarrassed, especially considering you’re still driving your grandpa’s SPACE SHIP down the street to the grocery store every week.7Euphoria: “Anyway now that I’ve passed my astro-physicist-engineer application exams… where am I”

Sigh.  Just get in the super low rider car with the nice man, Euphie.  He’ll find your way home.8Amazing.  To this day, ever since the horror I dealt with in Gen 2 to 3, I’m always amazed by sims doing things on their own.  Like watching toddlers that should have known better.

Dean in here making our lives SO much easier and giving Courage all the time in the day to focus on other things.  I’m starting to like Dean a lot 🙂9Fear: *Thinking maybe it would be better to spawn his own little hell creatures to send forth and do his job for him*

Kimberly: “What kind of vaccine line did I step into”10And two in one night easy.  Fear is making friends fast now, so I think his LTW is about to fly.

Cora: “Ungn yes little daddy find my last good artery”11Fear: “Mm yes she is receptive and will make a great Mother of the Brood.”

Fear, she’s 93.12GASP IT’S TIME FOR DEAN BABIES sike I don’t know what his deal is.

Courage: “SHOWER SO DISGUSTING I LOST MY LUNCH”13Hello Bernadette, child of my simself’s lineage.  The fuck are you doing.

Bernadette: “Looking for a Capri-Sun.”14Bernadette: “Mm yes you got the good sea caught tuna”

I know groceries aren’t a problem for us nor this family but that’s still annoying and rude.  Especially since I’ll get scolded if I do that shit at YOUR house, but you come into MINE and just WILLY NILLY15Terror: “Wow!  The fridge is working again????  Now would be an ample time to teach myself how to cook something for my own comsumption!”

Bernadette: “Homeboy here using words bigger than my 6th grade vocabulary!  Oooh I hope he picks me in the Story Progression matchmaking pool for breeding one day!”16Terror: “Damn, all the sea caught tuna is gone for some reason.  All I got left here is the paper it was wrapped in.”

Bernadette: “Ok maybe I spoke too soon.”17Terror: “Wait, Bernadette!  Where did the food I just saw you cooking here go??  I wanted to whip in a steal it while I could?”

Bernadette: “Who only knows, Terror.”18Off topic, I discovered Nervous Subject is still out here, STILL alive, MAKING BABIES with dead people, and in some convoluted way I know his mother is looking up from her burning coal pit proud of her boy.

Nervous: “Mother was never proud of anything :)”19Happiness: “Oh COME ON!  You’re breaking our DEAL!  You promised you would leave my vampire bed alone if I gave you vampirism!  Go get your own bed already!!”

Happiness please, go away already, Fear is more important right now anyway.20Happines: “Thank you for letting me tag along Courage.  Ever since Fear started his Alpha Vampire mongering, it’s gotten really tiring to having to sleep in the pan cabinet all the time.  Man, do I ever miss beds though…”

Courage: “No problem, I appreciate you teaching me how to USE a bed in return.  But remind me again, the thin blanket that lays under this big one… what did you call it?  The “shits”?  Am I supposed to sleep on top of it or wad it down at the foot of the bed already?”21Matthew: “I seriously think I’m about to get a good lead on this case, Joe!  I just need a good clue to find out why all the townsfolk are slowly growing lethargic and sprouting these weird bite marks and cult pamphlets everywhere.”

Joe: “Lol you’re such a Virgo.”g22Don’t worry Detective Dick didn’t solve the case anyway.

Matthew: “Eee no Fear I’m not That Kind™ of Cousin!!”

Fear: “Mmmfffuck?”23Joe: “I followed Fear all the way to the firestation for no other reason but to let you know I think what you’re doing it wonderful, Mr. Courage sir!  You’re my hero!”

Courage: “Thanks kid, I’ll be more deserving of your praise once I actually find something to do worth being praised for.”

Happiness: *Grinds sensually on the pole, that’s what it’s there for afterall, right?*24Joe: “But YOU.  You’re vile.  You’re a villian for indoctrinating everyone in town to follow you and your Cult!  You’ll never be anything to me other than a monster.”

Fear: “Eh, I’ll take praise from where I can get it.”25Fear: “Anyway, Eboni.  Since you’re the Next Best Friend on my relationship list… I must implore you to move closer to me… as I cannot even INTERACT with you if the lining of your shoe is STILL TOUCHING THE SIDEWALK”

Eboni: “Oh God why did I even leave the safety of my house when Nervous is still out there impregnating anything he can with his monster dong”26Anyway, nip nip.

Eboni: *Stroke time*27Pain: “Ah look at you.  Halfway through the art skill, working so hard to be something with your life.  That’s noble.  Very few of us actually put in any effort to work on anything other than the fridge door and pillow fighting in our youth so that’s actually really good for you.”28Pain: “Anyway I’m going to make you stop because we got something more important going on than that!  I need my birthday cake!!”

Judd: “Yessss, join me for old people sex in the shower afterwards!!”

Terror: “What”29Pain: “Yesssss~  I’m still so good looking! Not a day over 24 now!  My followers on my blog will worship me forever!”

Euphoria: “So glad you’ve been perma-banned from all IPs ages ago because that’s traumatic.”30Pain: “Ah well.  You’ll always be my number one fan for all eternity, won’t you Ramiel…”

Horror: *Still slurking around the house being useless and skilling nothing as usual*31Billie: “I don’t care how many times your accounts got fried by admins, after all this time, I’m still your biggest fan, Miss BabyPain.”

Pain: “Considering you didn’t bring me the take out like I demanded you do so before you came over here, I promise you, you really aren’t.”32Sigh.  Anyway.  Moving on.  To this.  HOE.  TRYING THIS SHIT AGAIN.

WILL I EVER FUCKING LEARN33Sabrina: “Happiness, I have tried everything.  I tried being myself (LOL), I tried being old and gross, and I even tried just moving on and forgetting about you.  And I can’t.  But how about this?!  Surely you got a thing for not only your own kind, but what if I was a total thottie vampire as well???”34Happiness: “I can’t believe you’d even show your face in [the Midnight Hollow’s equivalent of] the light of day!!  A blood sucking monster of the night!!  Vile beast, a menace to society!!”

Sabrina: “You can’t be fucking serious, from YOU, of ALL PEOPLE, while my COOTCHIE is all but hanging out and EVERYTHING”35Sabrina: “You know I’m starting to think you’re just not into me at all, are you…”

Happiness: “YOU THINK?????”36Sabrina: “I can’t believe this.  We could have been good together.  Couldn’t you imagine what our children could have looked like?!”

Happiness: “Oh my God, don’t even start.  Heck I’m still traumatized over that nightmare I had a few months back and never want to sire another person for as long as I live anyway!”

Sabrina: “You completely ruined your chances with me forever then, Happiness!!  FOREVER!!”

I’ll give her two weeks.37Sabrina left and INSTANTLY AFTER STEPPING OFF THE LOT got her baby gravy from her HUSBAND, so.  You know.  What the fuck was her deal…

Happiness: “Dang, they’re going at it right there in the front seat, and she’s still got to wave her middle finger at me from the window :(“38Checking on Courage who is doing his own thing while waiting to do literally anything.

Crystal: “I can’t believe you actually sanctioned their marriage yourself, son!!  Right here in your firehouse kitchen!”

Courage: “What can I say, I’m a man of many talents and certificates.”39Aw, look at the widdle cop doing his best to summon anything else other than a reason to arrest teenagers after 11pm.

Hunter: “I’m still so fucking sexy.”40Fear: “Whatever, TO THE UNSEEN ONE’S SIDE WITH YOU”

Cop: “OW MY MAGIC WAND ARM”41Ok so I still love that Dean does most of the maintence around the house.  Though I kinda need the truck open for wishes here…

Courage: “Yay, I get to sit back and relax and just chill for the rest of my life!!”

Dean: “Anything for my man, I mean buddy”42Courage: “Though it does get boring around here some times.  I really hope some one’s house burns down soon.”

Dean: “Really kind of a worrying thing to wish for??”43Fear: “Hello Jena’s brother or husband I care not to learn the difference right now, my name’s Fear, I-“44Fear: *LUNGE*


LTW is really rolling now.45Next on the chopping block: Juana is now an adult.

Juana: “Gee mom, you’re right, the brick wall right outside of the house is a fantastic hang out spot in weather like this”

Panic: *Begins smashing head into wall please no more of this*46Fear: “Are you READY to fully fufill your duties and honor your beloved Unseen One will open arms and unrelenting spirit?!”

Juana: “Sure am!!  Ever since you told me about the free cookies at the Friday meetings, I was hooked!!”

I think Juana is the first sim I’ve seen actually look excited about this…47Juana: “Hurrrgie duuurgie”

Panic: “We literally still have that restraining order on you Fear why do you keep coming around here”48And of course we auto-vampirized her for good measure.  Holy shit.

Fear: “Ew wow really?  NEON Shrek Green??  Didn’t think that was going to be the direction this took…”

Juana: “I was still promised a Anti-Bishop position for this.”49And then Panic because she deserves it.

Panic: “WH-WA-H-HOW DID I DESERVE ANYTHING”50OH.  I forgot about the third daughter!

Meredith: “The hell did I come home to”

Amazingly enough, she’s the most normal out of all three daughters, and looks she might lead a lineage that may actually mellow out in a few gens.  Fascinating.51Anyway, with the biting of Auntie Panic, Fear is down to his last two bite victims, and I feel the need to celebrate that!  So for that, Fear (and the family) head down to the coolest party joint in the entire town in hopes of finding his last two victims to complete this LTW… the strip club.

Trust: “I got a bad feeling about this.”

The Lone Firefighter

0Fear: “Um.  Since when were you my aunt because this is concerning on a couple levels.”

Kay: “Yeah heheheh so I totally went out and banged your brother Uncle Billie and he liked it so much he went and put a Kay on Kay if you know what I’m sayin’, hehehehe… by that I mean a ring, you know…”

Fear: “What the fuck is an Uncle “Billie” anyway…”ughNeedless to say, the poll on boolprop was a tie and a fail.  But the poll on the last post, which unlike the last one, I figured out how to close correctly (at least until they change how it’s done for the next poll) and it landed Courage as our clear winner, 12 votes to Truth’s 4!262348604_270543878449326_1893995943416468601_nSo yeah, with that here is our boy Courage!  He learned how to be brave and good in the military, while holding onto his neuroticism, good sense of humor and artistic traits. 

He will be a Firefighter Super hero and work towards saving 30 sims in his career.  I thought that would be a good “opposite” to Fear’s LTW in a way, that and I haven’t tried the firefighting career in almost a decade (Jesus) and figured I would like to try that one again.1So congrats my dude!  You get to come home from military school AND you’re our new family leader!!

Courage: “So now I got to take a picture like this and add it to this hideous oversized mural too??  Ughn… it’s it too late to take the long nap in the bottom of the swimming pool?”2And so we end Euphoria’s reign.  Oh how we will miss you, Euphie.

Euphoria: “Wait, my brain cells!  They all went out at the same time!  Dang it, NOW how am I supposed to figure out how to work this chair?!  How am I supposed to use it?!  UGH!!” *Hair falls off from stress*

Alright.  Great sign right from the start.3Courage’s first wish was to gain a point in logic.  The most fun of all wishes. 

Hm.  Hope he’s not boring like this the whole generation.4Fear: “So glad to have the baby brother I could stand the least back in the house after all these years.  Haven’t seen you since your imaginary screaming caused us all to lose our sanity and forget what to do with a mattress.  But past is past.  Shall I cut to the chase, however.  A man with your knowledge of military… a man of your prowess and strength… we really could use you as a follower under the guide of our saving darkness, the Unse-“5Courage: “No. Fear, just no.  Let me cut you off there.  I love you.  And you are my brother.  Always will be.  But I will not join your cult in any way shape or form.  So never ask me again.  I’m serious Fear.  If you ever do consider asking me again, just know that I probably killed a man or nine while in the service.  I won’t confirm it, but if you ever ask me again… I will show you exactly how I may or may not have done it.  And you will not enjoy it.”6Fear: “Ok…… remind me to buy you some therapy sessions later…”7Courage: “Changing this uncomfortable situation real fast though, I got to ask… how long has she been like this, Fear?”

Fear: “Honestly, longer than I can remember.”8With that turn of events, I think it’s safe to say our boy Loathing will be heading out and finding his own path in town.

I moved him to a little “boat” house down by the beach, so he doesn’t have to mooch or live in a pasture with the other rejects.9Oh, and Malice ended up leaving with him.  Figured she was safe enough to stay out of the family wreath, that, and she was bugging out real bad all of a sudden so she got the boot before the game got wrecked.

Loathing: *desperately looting what all he can carry before getting kicked out in the morning*10Back to Courage integrating back into civilian life.  I’m less concerned about why he’s swimming away from the strip club when my back was turned and more intrigued by the shark swimming around in a pond.11Courage: “Oh spotted sixam I found earlier during my info card shoot, you’re my best friend in this entire house now.  Dunsparce 2.0 died four hours from sidewalk exposure after I left for Lieutenantykes Military Elementary, and Euphie lost her mind and now runs on 2 AA battery brain power.  My eldest brother still thinks he’s slick and keeps hinting I should join his vampire cult and I don’t even know where Crystal has been since I’ve gotten home…”12Oh trust me she’s doing fine on her own.  Barely surviving but she’s fine.

Crystal: “Loathing, how could you trap mommy in the hallway like this?!  You know it takes me all afternoon to plot a course through the house and you’ve completely thrown my whole route into disarray!”

Fear: “Jeez, it doesn’t really take a rocket scientist to figure out how to walk around a conversation, mother.”

Pain: “Disown her, Courage.  It’s for the best.  Trust me you don’t want her listed on your resume.”13Loathing: “I still like this mommy better.  She’s the best mom.  Totally could use a Mother Wolf figure in my planned clan.”

Crystal: “Fear come pick me up I’m scared.”14Loathing: “Look, it’s such a good deal, dog.  I get Crystal for my side, and you can have that shithead Euphoria for your gang.  I get a cool mom, and you get that… military mom.”

Fear: “Oh no, you’re not tricking me with a bad deal just because Euphie is in the Secret Service.  I know you’re doing it just because you hate her but I’m sorry, I’m not spending all that time house breaking her all over again.”

Crystal: “No pawning your family members again boys!!  You guys promised…”15Loathing: “Come on ma, let’s blow this joint.”

Crystal: “Halp.”

Fear: “Fine you can have Crystal, but only if you take that bicycle Pain with you when you go.  Dumb thot has been getting on my nerves since day one.”

Pain: “They ever let you get with any real girls in the service, Courage?  I can fix that.”

Courage: “Excuse me wot”16Crystal escaped with her life, and LOOK, she was trying to come out and rescue this neglected garden all on her own!!  And here I never thought they were EVER capable of doing this!  Now I just know every sim I have ever had before in my entire life has just been horribly lazy.17Fear: “Just heading out for a random jog long enough to sate my wishes but short enough to keep from frying in the sun, but what’s Clyde’s excuse for lurking around in our backyard?”

Not sure, but whatever he’s doing he’s making friends from it.18And apparently he won’t stop making friends.

Clyde: “Nature and the world around me are my truest allies on this earth!  Isn’t that right, Cowplantington the Fifth?”19Clyde: “Yes…. I continue to befriend the earth… soon Mother Nature will be my truest ally and nothing will get in my way!!”

Cowplantington: “Why do I got a feeling you and the local vampire cult leader would get along kinda well”20Clyde: “Awh DAMMIT, I farted so hard and my connection to nature vanished, along with my doggie traits!  I KNEW I shouldn’t have had that bean dip this afternoon…”

Bernadette: *Thoughts waft away in the breeze*21Fear: “Of course.  I only needed a second to come back and walk across the way to get to this park, and it’s already turned into a damn festival over here.”

Harvey: “My GPS told me it was taking me to Hooters.  It lied.  Now I’m hungry AND angry!”22Fear: “Oh well haha prepare to join our coven Brother Harvey!!”

Harvey: “Wait please no first you promised me a brochure first!!”23Fear’s newest recruitment got interrupted by the triplet’s birthday’s however.  Oh well.24Darling Famine here grew up unlucky, which seems the most fitting for him out of all of them.

Famine: “My brother runs off to play at the cowplant park and completely forgot my birthday… of course that would be my luck.”

No, I promise you Famine.  Fear didn’t forget.  He just doesn’t care.25Of course since it was Famine’s birthday of course the rest of the triplets grew up too. I just didn’t catch it on camera because at the time I really didn’t care either.

War did come out cool as fuck though.  I still love her even though she doesn’t do a damn thing.  She’s a party animal now though.

War: “I put the party in funeral party.”26And last but not least, our very handsome Pestilence is a night owl.  Also fitting in a way.  All the triplets got traits that seem to go so well with themselves, even if they aren’t evil.

Truth: “Y’all got me up for a party, and all I got is THIS?  There’s no birthday party here!  Thanks a lot, spitwad.”

Pestilence: “No problem bitch.”27Loathing: “So good to see my baby brother a man now.  Now that you’re old enough to do so now though, don’t you think it’s time to take out the trash?”

Famine: “Yeah yeah… I know you’re just telling me it’s time to up and leave home, I know what you’re saying…”

Loathing: “What, no, I’m saying you need to take the trash out.  Might want to get a broom and sweep it up first, I’m actually looking for garbage bags as we speak.”28Crystal: “…Loathing??  Are you still in the house??  Can you tell me why Courage’s new bird and best friend in the entire world has been mauled and scattered all over the hallway in here????”


That being said, I determined it was safe enough for the triplets to move out as well, so all three of them join Malice and Loathing near the beach.29Fear: “Ah, Sabrina.  The Mother of the World.  The Wordwriter.  The… Narrow Tater.”

Sabrina: “Narrator.”

Fear: “Didn’t think we were as close of allies as we are, but alas, you would make a suiting ally for us and for the Almightly, All Seeing-“

Sabrina: “Fear.  Just bite me already.  I want to get this LTW of yours done before I decompose from old age for the 3-4th time.”30Sabrina: “hurgn yes bite so good I regressed 30 years.”

Fear: “You know it would have helped more if you kept the sleevelessness.”31Sabrina that got moodlet manager’d into a vampire because I am getting tired of waiting: “I really only agreed to come over and see how you little babies are doing!  I love you the most my widdle iddy biddy bubbie baby burbs, god I love you so fucking much, you’re the best DLC I ever paid $4 for.”

Eboni: “Yeah and I’m glad for that!  I’m glad you left me for baby chicks and whatnot!  All I ever needed was me and this house!  Me and this house are better friends than me and you EVER were!!  Isn’t that right, house?!”

Now that I think about it, Eboni and Clyde would get along.32Anyway Courage decided it was time for some job experience so off to the station we go!

Courage: “Should I just pen my name down on a timestamp card and just roll with it or should I worry about legalities”33Courage: “Ah yes.  My first breakfast at the station.  My first day is going to go great, all along, in what is essentially my new bachelor pad, I guess.  I’m going to die alone in the first fire aren’t I.”

If my memory serves me right, you wouldn’t have anyone to help you with your fires anyway.3435But thankfully for our boy, not only did two new firefighters soon ring up for the job as well, it’s his brother’s Famine and Pestilence!  I trust they will totally have his back here at the station!

Right?36Fear: “If anyone minds, I’m off to get my weekly paycheck… alright my pay is set, I’m off to bite hoes!”

Really now.  So apparently the tree isn’t dead?  Euphoria just wouldn’t pick “fruit” off of it because… I don’t know.  Ethical reasons?  My time has been entirely wasted.37Fear: “You know I completely appreciate the fact that you don’t put up a fight when we steal and sell all your hard work on these paintings and such, but do you HAVE to work in the almost nude?  We are a classier family than this and we only really let you stay here still out of the goodness of our heart.  Mostly for tax reasons but that too.”

Happiness: “Of COURSE I must work in the nude!  It helps the flow of my “Mind-your-own-effin-business” Creative Processes that put the paint on the canvases and pay for your cell phone plans. You dingus.”38Happiness: “And while I’m at it, your little sister is a straight up idiot.  There, I said it!  Never have I seen a decendant since my own wife just be outlandishly stupid all the damn time!”

Fear: “Hey, whoa now, go easy!  I don’t even know why you’re insulting me about Horror, I’m on your side when it comes to her you know!”39Fear: “Ok.  Now that that’s been settled.  Why do we have a half naked man pressed up against our windows again?”

Happiness: “Beats me, he’s been there since I took my clothes off an hour ago.”40Euphoria: “Oh glad you could make it to the Leisure Day party!  Leisure Day, the most exciting party of the year.  Anyway I said wear swimwear, not… whatever you probably have been sleeping in for five straight days.  Lord please don’t tell me that is your swimwear.”

War: “It is.”

I really need to get back to doing the entirety of their wardrobes to prevent this mess.41Fear: “-And so you see, a life with the Unseen’s guiding hand is so much better than awaiting a slap from the Unseen’s pimp hand.  Trust me on that one.”

Dylan: “That’s nice and all, but shouldn’t we take a break first and try to stop that ghost that’s assaulting my wife?”

Fear: “Eh, I’m sure if she’s not a follower of the Unseen One, then she deserved it.”42Courage: “Ah, I knew those stripper pole lessons would actually be handy!  I’m going to be the quickest pole slider this force has ever seen!!”

Meanwhile Courage is settling into his career quite nicely.43Fear: “AH YES.  The town’s lone firefighter, alone in his station, ASLEEP in front of a LIT STOVE.  I can tell this town is in such good hands.”44Courage: “AAAAH FEAR you scared me with this sudden visit!  I totally wasn’t sleeping on the job, I was waiting on a pie to bake and was just resting my eyes, honest!”

Fear: “Hm.  Yes.  Sure.  Well, you DO know as a vampire, you wouldn’t ever have to sleep again, and wouldn’t ever worry about baking yourself in front of your own cooking… (ok the sleep thing is a lie but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him)”45

Courage: “Sigh. Fear. You’ll be joining my pie if you keep this up, I’m warning you.”

Fear: “Oh come ON. Can’t blame me for trying.”


1Who’s ready to start this chapter with an ever so beloved trip to graduation!?2Fear: “OH, so Malice gets to go to graduation, and even my brother Loathing was invited but I, the one that got ACTUAL HONORS on their grades, was forgotten and forsaken.  I’ll remember this.  The superintendent will rue the day he forgot about me.”

He’s either going to sacrifice a principal in some ungodly ritual or write a strongly worded letter to the board, I don’t know which right now.3Fear: “Even KAY?! THAT DUMB BITCH DIDN’T EVEN GO HERE”

Kay: “And for that, this is as far as I go.  I will accept my GED right here from this park bench with pride and fervor!”

And she did, as she should.4Terror: “Nah, ain’t feeling this lame ass event that in no way benefits me.  If anyone minds, I’m taking a nap right here in a high trafficked area.  If you see where I threw my pants, please pick them up and take them home for me, thanks.”

To be fair, don’t blame him.  Proud of him actually.  Glad he decided to whip out the bag instead of just passing out on a sidewalk somewhere.  What a very good boy.5Quiana: “I’m so glad you all graduated, all had such a good senior year, and are all ready for some legal dating and a Shot at Love with Quiana Piranha”6She has matured into such a beautiful flower 🙂7Happiness: “I’m so happy Fear is taking me out on an outing now!  We are going to have so much fun and get to meet so many new people!”

Fear: “Flirt with even a single woman and I will disembowel you on an altar.”8At the local pawn shop we see Rita is shaping up…

Yeah that’s all.  Just shaping up.

Fear: “Wow I love the absolute lack of light bills in this place.”9Fear: “Have you ever considered giving your heart, body, but mostly soul, to the all knowing, all seeing Unseen One?”

Rita: “Probably not.  I sold my soul the other day to my sister for some toilet paper after being stranded in the bathroom for 2 hours after school.”

Happiness: “Oh get off of your recruitment stunt Fear and help me ring up a candy bar for $2.95 on clearance, I’m jonesing for a Snickers!”10Ok, that’s not getting a Snickers.



Rita: “Really.  You come all the way down to the Bootleg Goodwill (Bootwill?  Goodleg?  Goodleg.) to rob it?  That’s so low.  I’d consider calling the cops if they wouldn’t just come in and question if I’m breaking some kind of daytime curfew.”

Happiness: “Look I don’t know anyone named Fear right now, I’m just trying to get a Snickers.”11Fear: “UNSEEN DAMMIT, HAPPINESS!!  I HOLD HIM DOWN AND BEAT HIM INTO SUBMISSION AND YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CRACK THE SAFE!!  STOP DRAGGING ASS AND GET THE CASH!!”

Happiness: “Haha I have no idea who he’s talking about!  Pfft, “Happiness”.  My name is Emily.  Anyway do you think you can call an ambulance for Joaquin over there?  I would but they took my cell phone away because I learned what nudes were.”12Fear: “-Anyway that’s when I abandoned Happiness at the store to deal with the cops himself after I realized the silent alarm was triggered and came down here.  So what about it.  You want to learn more about the Unseen One or do you want to meet Joaquin in ICU…”

Jena: “Maybe if I hurry, I can get out of here before he turns his sights on me…”

Too late Jena.  He’s already making wishes to play games with you for some reason.13Fear: “I also require to congratulate Quiana but uh… I see she didn’t fare too well between now and this morning at the court house.”14Josh: “WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A WONDERUL FAMILY TIME AND EVERYONE HERE WILL LIKE IT, COME HELL OR HIGH WATER”

Louise: “Whatever, I’m more concerned about the zombie Ubering people here right out of high school.”

Starting to wonder what happened at that graduation now.15Panic: “Awh come ON.  I’m out here trying to have a good time with my husband and HE has to be here to remind me that I’m related to my fucking family.”

No one gets it easy all the time, Panic.16Anyway totally missed Loathing’s first full moon transformation.  Doesn’t matter, he’s going to spend the whole time taking a nap in his bag I suppose.

Loathing: “Nothing out of the ordinary, just another day for me, snore”17Fear: “Everyone at that last lot didn’t want anything to do with me.  So I’m off to collect on what is rightfully mine…”18Malice: “Ughnm.  What do you want Fear.  Can’t you see I’m out here doing Hot Girl Shit?”

Fear: “Yeah, if you call sleeping on the sidewalk all night and all day in your bra and panties that, then yeah that’s definitely shit.”19Fear: “But I’m here because it’s TIME, Malice Fallen!  I claimed you as my first sacrifice to the Unseen One and I mean technically you’ll be my second one now but you’re servitude is highly demanded of your new God!!”20Malice: “Bro just stop with the theatrics, we both know your glasses just got those built-in LEDs since you can’t do jack with hypnotism right now.  Just bite me and get it over with.  I ain’t going to pay shit attention in regards to your Unsith Whatever It Is, But I am down to be hot forever.”

Fear: “Uhm.  Sure.”21Malice: “Oh yes daddy it hurt so good”

Fear: “Haha gross but alas, you are now one of us, those that roam the night and prey on the undeserving, you’ll be of a higher standing than that of the impending foot soldiers for our growing army, so of course, have some dignity and put on some pants.”

Malice: “How about you go eat some pants, Fear.”251990506_243146601210864_7454768979867355418_nBack home, Helen called her husband up for a date.  I figured it was fair to let him go (or weird, but that depends on how it’s looked at).

22Helen: “Judd I haven’t seen you in so many years!  You still haven’t called… sent money… and you look like saggy shit, what happened to you my darling?”

Judd: “That retirement pension kicked in from a job I only went to like twice is what happened, ayyy”23Judd: “But now I got a question.  You could have picked anywhere else in this town to go on this date with and you pick the creepy ass hospital.”

Helen: “To be fair, you look like you’re about to drop dead at any minute.  I’m just being premeditative.”24Anyway, I guess because the lot was lame, so was their date, and that was the last time they interacted.

Judd: “Why isn’t this car going anywhere”

Helen: “No really why hasn’t he dropped dead yet, I know I’m still on his will so he needs to hurry up and kick it before he realizes.”25Fear: “So anyway, whatever your name was?  I heard you have a thing for vampires, so I was wondering, any time you’re down for it, I’ve got a pretty undead dong in need of a vampire bite if you get what I’m sayin’…”

Oh don’t tempt her that old simself hoe will too if you let her.26Kay: “I’ve been standing in this kitchen since… well for like three days now, and I considered going to find some pants to put on since it’s getting drafty, but the table stopped me from making such a poor decision.  Thanks, table!”

Pestilence: “You hold her down and I’ll jam some Levi’s over her and you secure them on with a lock and a belt.”

Happiness: “Great idea!”27Fear: “This house is getting tired of your pantslessness, Kay!!  Apply pants to your legs, Kay!!  The Unseen One demands it!!  We all do actually!!”

Kay: “But… I just applied moisturizer…”28Kay: “Oh no he’s hypnotized me!!  What will he make me do in the name of his dastardly deeds!?!”

Fear: “… Didn’t you hear me it’s so you’d put on some fucking clothes…”

Kay: “What if he makes me commit actions of uncontrollable lust?!  Oh I couldn’t bare!  Or can I, I mean, he is insanely attractive and handsome and the sexiest of all my brothers…”

Fear: “Ok that’s it, you need to leave the house now.”

And so, Kay actually did get moved out.  I’m going to opt to move them out one at a time to give them a chance to start a relationship with anyone else outside of this household, because I don’t want another Mayhem/Patience set up right now.29Truth: “I vote we kick Loathing out next.  He’s getting hair all in my fried rice and he’s slobbering all over the table.”

Terror: “I’ll just grab some waffles, go eat outside and pretend I didn’t hear you talking at all.”30Truth: “No one else is going to think this is weird that Loathing is suddenly acting like a feral wild man?  Just me huh.”

Loathing: “I DEMAND MORE HAIRY FRIED RICE”31Loathing: “Oh there you are Horror.  Sorry, there’s no snow out here yet for you to fall asleep in and catch hypothermia.  Gotta wait a few more seasons I think.  Hope you’re out here having fun with mom and Pain while they have their 7 hour balloon fight.”

Horror: “Where is this even am I are”32Crystal: “There you are my, WIFE, my darling of many years!  And might I say, do I ever have the most diabolical plans in store for you!!”

Pain: “(Psst, you’re not supposed to tell her you have plans for her, dumbass, you got to let that be a surprise), sorry Euphie.  She’s been hanging out with me all day so my evilness is rubbing off on her somehow, don’t know how but it’s fucking cool isn’t it?!”

Euphoria: “No.”33Crystal: “Ok so I may have flubbed in letting you know about the plan.  But alas, you don’t know what it is, and you will be my guinea pig, my ever unexpecting rat of doom and evilness!!”

Pain: “(God you’re so lame.)”

Euphoria: “…”34Crystal: “Uh.  Euphie?  Euphoria?  Are you th… where are you going?  Euphie???”35Crystal: “Oh.  She’s going to divorce me now isn’t she…”

Pain: “Oh damn she might.  Hm.  Might not have thought that one through very well at all.”

Malice: “YOU GOT THAT GOOD POT RIGHT”36Moving along, Fear has now hosted a party.  A funeral to be exact, even though no one is really dead right now.  A funeral for their own innocence?  I don’t know.

Jena: “Really grandma, don’t you even fucking think about hitting on or trying to sleep with the creepy vampire freak, tonight!  We already got enough embarrassing the family name as it is!!”

Sabrina: “Heehee I make no promises…”37Fear: “So glad you could make it, Sabrina!!  I invited you all here to bestow how wonderful being children of the Unseen will make you safer in the inevitable future that is our cataclysm!!  Only will being a Child of the Royal Darkness will protect us from some, just not all, of the incoming suffering and pain we all experience for an eternity after next September!”

Sabrina: “Oh fuck this is one of those host parties that I’m going to have to buy some expensive shit from a catalog aren’t I.  God I’m no longer interested in his dick.”38Fear: “And you.  So glad you came to my party as well.  The Army can always use an orc vampire as a war commander.”

Juana: “Mama I want to go home.”

Panic: “Sweetie I’m just here because Fear paid me $34 to make an appearance to his death party so we just got to deal with it for a little while.”39Sabrina: “My interest in vampires is over, my romantic endeavors with werewolves has begun!!  I bet you can totally wreck a bed frame or two with your unnatural abilities!!”

Loathing: “Damn girl I think I see what Happiness was talking about!”

Jena: “Grandma REALLY, stop being so damn gross!  I’m so glad I can’t actually see a connection with you on my family tree, I don’t want one!!”40Eboni: “Oh.  If only I could say the same, Jena.”

Jena: “Oh damn.  Is that a stake in your pocket or are you just happy to see me…”41Fear: “So here’s my proposal, Jena.  You.  Me.  Future leaders in the name of the Unseen…”

Jena: “Uh.  Sure.  I mean, I guess I wouldn’t mind eternal youth and superpowers.  It’s not because I suddenly think you’re hot or anything like that at all…”

War: “I’m just here to make sure everyone knows I’m still in this family this chapter.”

Truth: “I see.”43And then the following day turns out to be the last day that Euphoria may hold the torch.  Courage grows up and returns on this night, and if he comes back with the good trait, there will be a poll, and if he wins, that will be the end of Euphie’s reign.

Judd: “How’s it feel that this may be the last day with a non-AI conscious ruining any chance you will ever have at being an astronaut, Euphie?”

Euphoria: “Actually, I think I got a real good chance.  All my needed skills are maxed and you probably won’t die anytime real soon so my “bosses” relationship is spot on… so unless I just decided to never go to work again like you, I’ll be great.”

Fingers crossed.44Fear: “Another day, another prowl in the shadows of buildings, and it’s so nice to see Kay out here and actually wearing clothes.”

Kay: “Hello Fear.  No time to talk, I’m here with my parole officer going over paperwork.”45Fear: “And you must be Percy!!  The legendary werewolf that everyone had a thing for and got passed around like a VD riddled torch!  So glad to meet you!!  Loathing looks up to your legend for some reason!”

Percy: “That’s great.  So good to hear people are still out there being furries and the like.”46Fear: “But alas.  I must ask, because I think your strength and power will help Us in the long run better… have you ever thought about giving your life up for the good of the Unseen One?”

Percy: “Nah, I’m too Buddhist for that shit.”

Kay: “Lol books.”47Fear: “Well TOO BAD!!  I may not be able to bite you because you’re a werewolf and they are immune to supernatural things for some STUPID and DUMB reason, but no one is immune to VAMPIRE IN A JAR that expired in 1695!!”


Kay: “Man do I ever love just being in all the photos”48Percy: “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! WHAT HAVE YOU… hold on…”

Fear: “Oh damn, your hair was a wig?!  Has it always been a wig?!  How long have you lied to everyone, Percy?”49Percy: “I… I can breathe without those thick werewolf nose hairs clogging my nose!  The moonlight no longer feels like 1000 ants crawling all over my skin!!  My teeth ain’t chaffing away my upper lip into dust!!  You… you CURED me!”

Fear: “Shit, that wasn’t what I had in mind.  That’s not what I wanted to happen at all!”

Percy: “I’m normal!!  I’m FREE!!  I’m-“50Percy: “Shit”

And with that, Percy is no longer one of the Lycans, and joins Fear as a creature of blood.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t count towards Fear’s LTW count, so ok.  Lesson learned.  Whatever though.51And then the timer has counted down and our boy Courage has returned home from war!  And that last trait… IS….

*drum roll*

Well I mean you can see it it’s there in the photo

BUT HE’S GOOD!!52Courage: “Mom and mom?!  I’m finally HOME!!”

Pain: “Hey, does anyone know who this bih is?”53And behold.  Our boy is GAH DAMN SEXY.

Courage: “I didn’t fight in four secret wars to come home and just be gawked at…”

For the vote, let’s remind ourselves that Courage is artistic, neurotic but brave, he’s got a good sense of humor, and of course, good.

While he spent the majority of his life growing up away from us in military school, I’d like to remind the jury that as baby he was so secretly miserable to the point that rebooting the town until he wasn’t probably killed the usage of all beds.  He’s brave, just as his name suggests, but he’s terrified of Bonehildas, so I’m getting particular vibes from another possible namesake instead…54In the other corner we have Truth, our good, cold loving, nude avoiding, equestrian.  She’s is the only child I know to run from the cops and get away with it.  She’s been very mellow so far.  Such a good, quiet, well behaved kid, you know, outside from running from the law.

I’m going to attempt another poll from this stupid layout, and hopefully you’ll all pick your favorite and we won’t have any further issue, otherwise, I’ll post up another boolprop poll for other votes HERE just in case!  

And so, let the polls begin!

The Beginnings of Blood

1Happy Halloween y’all.  I’m still not doing a Halloween special.  I’m so fucking lazy.

So last chapter, Fear began his transformation into vampirism, thanks to Happiness, though no thanks to the streetside concert he had to hold for half a day first.

Some time later, Fear took the family out to trek around town to “make friends” and meet potential future victims, and in the meanwhile Happiness went AWOL for pussy and has somehow wondered off into Michelle’s house, where he obliviously snoozes.2Fear: “Ten bucks I can coerce this entire family into corruption in the name of the Unseen One before you can sell any your shitty NFTs of low res screenshots from Sabrina’s legacy blogs.”

Pain: “Omg, fuckin’ deal bro!”

Crystal: “Can you guys go talk your shady business somewhere else?!  Some of us are trying to watch the Price is Right in here!!”3Why did I feel the need to even check the house…

Euphoria: “All I did was put a solid (pfft) roof over his head and keep food in his belly his entire life…”4Yeah Loathing, you BETTER be sucking in that lower lip like your life depends on it!!  Euphoria oughta tear it right the FUCK off for this insolence!!

Euphoria: *Begins to fade out of existence instead*5Loathing: “Wait no don’t actually hit me mommy I scared :(”

Euphoria: “Well.  I guess this is punishment enough.”

Who does this punish?!  The only one suffering here is ME!6Fear: “See, I don’t plan on having children of my own.  All of the earth’s inhabitants are children of the Unseen One, and as far as I go, I’m just here to guide them back to their true god, for proper judgement and punishment for forgetting Them for millennia.”

Malice: “You’re just saying that because you’ll never find a woman that’ll bang you outside the family tree, huh.”

Fear: “NO?!  I can find plenty of bitches thank you very much!!”7Fear: “And that’s when I stormed right out of the house and came straight here when I saw the coupon in the newspaper.”

Chasity: “Wow sure ok are you going to actually PAY for your purchase today or tell me more about a life story I didn’t ask for?”

Fear finally found a lycan potion for Euphoria’s long time wish, AND for another thing coincidentally…8Judd: “Oh yeah… Love came back to me just for a “rockin” good time.  About time she came running into my arms.  Or in this case, right under my ass.”9Judd: “Hey baby.  That was hot.  We really should do this more often, so call me when you can, Love.”10Sandra: “Ah.  No???  I’m not here for booty call time, BROTHER.  I’m just wasting time before anyone realizes that I’m solicitating here again, nothing more.”

Judd:  “NOOOO!  You’re not Love?!?!  That’s so gross, I can’t believe I was getting off to my sister!!  Never talk to me again you gross hoe!  You’re dead to me!  Well, more than you were before!!”11Terror: “I sure hope we can actually save our grades.  I think midterms are really kicking our ass what with all the not doing our homework ever thing.”

Horror: “Oh I was just planning on sleeping on the sidewalk again the whole day.  Hehe fuck being useful am I right”

Famine: *Off to sneak away from his dire punishment to ensure he has a bright and hopeful future in anything*12Fear: “Oh yeah I already threw the potion at my brother’s dick, didn’t even bother taking a photo of it, I don’t care.”

Loathing: “You mother fu-“13Euphoria: “Oh hey baby!  Guess it’s my birthday today!!  Think you can help mommy chisel her arm out of the wall so we can all celebrate together?”

Fear: “Ugh, this bitch, do we really got to be present for this mortal game of celebratories Ugh, I got no choice, she is my mother figure fine but only this once and I require her soul in five business days Yes my lord-”

Euphoria: “Please Fear my circulation is cutting off here”14Euphoria: “Oh well so much for a chisel but I think I’m still doing pretty…. good….” *Mid-life crisis*

Fear: “Yay mommy, I’m so happy for you weee”

Terror: “Wait, so no cake?  But I like our every day supply of stale vanilla…”15Judd: “I also feel the warm embrace of my joints dissolving.”

Pain: “Hell yeah, GILF time, tear it UP, Judd!!”16Judd: “Pain, are you here?  My hearing isn’t what it used to be, where are you at”

Pain: “Sweet, I can’t wait to get into THIS retirement fund!”17Not sure what’s going on with his nose flaps, but I am curious now.18ANYWAY LONG ENOUGH WITH THE TRANSFORMATION FEAR I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE USED THE MOODLET MANAGER

Fear: “Wait I’m still waiting for my macaroni in the microwaaavvahgadjkljskaf”19Fear: *Cough* “Did I say macaroni I meant plasma haha yeah I’m totally into blood now.”

Macaroni: “SNORE”

Amazing.  Vampiric effects actually make Fear look more alive now than he was before.20And the first thing he does is sleep on the vampire bed, of course.

Fear: “I lived my entire life in a sleeping bag, of COURSE the first thing I’m going to do is actually get some comfort up in my back!!”21Euphoria: “This is Pain’s new money tree?  Seems so fraudulent.  I cannot accept money that isn’t righteously given to me for my hard work, these fake copies should have never seen the light of day in our yard…”

Of course the tree is actually dead because Pain doesn’t actually garden, who was she kidding…22Horror: “Wow, such a massive fight over one toilet in the front of the house.  I’m not even going to bother.  If anyone needs me I’ll be taking a shit in the hallway near the living room.”23Ok since bathroom know-how is quickly disintegrating and etiquette is quickly going out a window, I’ve added a whole row of toilets and if anyone feels the need to fight over these I’m just going to torch this legacy to the ground myself.24Please Euphoria just beat his ass into the ground for once I beg you

Euphoria: “Ever since you started to smell like a wet dog all of a sudden you’ve been very sour and ungrateful for everything!”

25Loathing: “Anyway whatever how you doin’ baby? Thinkin’ ‘bout starting some hot girl shit with this stud?”

Michelle: “Ooh I do love the smell of a wet dog…”

Happiness: “Why?! Why does this keep happening to me?!”
26Happiness: “I TRUSTED you!!  My heart was all yours, my whole life could have been spent with you, and you SPIT in the FACE of my LOVE for you, Michelle!!”

Michelle: “Who in the hell even are you”

Loathing: “Wow such a Cassanova, I must learn his techniques.”27Fear: “I’m going to ignore the weird drama in the yard and focus on you, Kay, as the Unseen One demands your undivided attention, if for nothing else but to put on some pants, we’re getting real tired of you parading around in nothing but your panties since your birthday.”
28Kay: “Ouch hey why does this hickie hurt so badly I thought you said this would be hot to rendezvous secretly behind the chicken coop, I think you tricked me.”

Fear: “I’m going to gag on your ulnar artery, just shut the fuck up, Kay.”
29Fear: “Now that that business has been settled… why did the chickens just roll their eggs out of the coop at us? That’s so rude, those baby chicks didn’t deserve that.”

Kay: “Yeah that’s kinda weird…”
30Happiness: “Alright! Time for our monthly visit to the strip club!! Time to strip down and get ready!!”

Fear: “I’m honestly starting to regret even thinking about bringing you along.”
31Truth: “I really don’t understand why we keep coming here. The dancers are so unenthusiastic that they don’t even exist, and the music keeps switching back to classical for some reason.”

Pestilence: “Actually, it’s probably a good thing. Really don’t feel like having a lot of fun when my sisters are here, pantless and all wearing the same dorky anime starfish shirt, and it is really killing the mood for me.”

Malice: “Awh you wouldn’t recognize hot chicks and good fashion if it bit you on the ass.”
32Malice: “Ok maybe buying that bargain pack at the thrift store was a shit idea, Truth.  Did you really have to get us all the same shirt for Christmas last year?”

Truth: “But they were in the clearance bin…”

War: “Awh come ON, now no one will stick money in my g-string if we all match, that’s so dorky!”33Quiana: “Awh snap, what a coincidence!  We all shop at the same .50 bin store!! Hope you guys don’t mind me joining the group too!”

Fear: “Ahahaha, talk about a major embarrassment.  This club sucks so bad.”35Fear: “Ok you know what, it’s not really that embarrassing on you.  You really make that starfish pop out for me if you know what I’m sayin’…”

Quiana: “Ooh yeah, and don’t worry baby they 100% real too.”

Truth: “Ok I’m going to be up in the ceiling if anyone needs me, and please don’t need me, I want to get away from these two as quickly as possible.”36Malice: “Alright everyone~!  Got enough tips in your panties yet?!  Well time to pull it out and pass it back to me!!  It’s birthday money time for ya Top Hoe here!!”

Fear: “Really, you really had to take the limelight away from me, didn’t you…”37And then Malice had to grow up into an ULTRA BABE, like holy shit, I knew she was a cutie, but DAMN.  GIRL.

She gained a green thumb, so now not only will Pain’s garden continue to be ignored, it will be ignored knowing the one person in the house that could possibly stand a chance in saving it won’t.

Malice: “It seems we now have things in common to talk about and actually get along over, Loathing.”

Loathing: *Toots angrily in Environmentally Friendly*38Malice: “Ok I’m done, you can go back to being the center of attention you bitch.”

Fear: “MURDER HERRRR omfg later”

Malice: “Hrmmm.”39Fear made no friends in the strip club but while on what’s still a nightly potion hunt expedition, he came close to making one with the cashier.


Chasity: “Hurgwha”40Chasity: “Damn, this 14 hour overtime shift is really fucking with me, I’m seeing some wack colors just now”

Fear: “I’m afraid not, my dearest Chasity, for you are going to do as I say, and join me, in my coven of our Most Unholiest, tonight.”41Chasity: “Look buster, I’m already doing as you say, if I break the Customer Is Always Right rule one more time my boss will literally take me to court, but I don’t got time to join you for jack, I only got a 15 minute break coming up and I’m not missing another chance at eating my lunch because some customer wants to dally in our dirty bathroom or whatever you’re asking.”

Fear: “Uhm.  Hm.  I guess the mind control didn’t work as well as I thought?  But I read the instructions and practiced in the mirror and everything.”42Oh well.  Didn’t stop them from swapping spit for a bit anyway.

Chasity: *Skipping that lunch anyway I suppose*43Fear: “Whatever, cashier lady was a bust.  DEAN.  Come let me in.  I know it’s 4 am, but your dog is LITERALLY TRYING TO TAKE A SHIT ON MY SHOES HERE”

Dean: “Oh Fear.  Welcome to my home.  I was just sleeping or whatever it is we normal people do at fuckin’ four in the morning.”44Fear: “Dean, I hardly actually know you, and I only have seen you in the void that was the local school system, but sources tell me that outside my brother and sister, you are my closest and dearest friend.  Our bond over the years is almost faultless, and I look upon you fondly.  I guess, I could almost say we are just like brothers ourselves.”

Dean: “Yeah.  About that…”

Fear: “Anyway, I must ask, nay, demand, that you, join my coven, be my truest of Blood Brothers, and the Unseen One will make you my right hand, my greatest commander in the ever growing wave that will honor The Unholy to the highest degree-“45Dean: “Sure.  Whatever.  I wasn’t doing anything else with my life after all.  Do you see what I picked out to wear for the rest of my life from what was left over in the .50 cent bin?  I’m destined to go nowhere else in this existence.”

Fear: “Hm.  Quite.”46Fear: “The deed is done.  You will be one of us and soon, one of many, before you know it.  Also I picked you out a new outfit, don’t know why you’re still wearing that shit…”

Dean: “I’m sure whatever you picked for me is more than I could afford on my paycheck, so it’s best I just stick in what I got until I can actually pay you back, so no thanks.”

I see.  Anyway, Fear is on his way to gathering more vampires…

Concert of the Century

Did WordPress change the post making font or something or am I going crazy?  I swear to god I need to hurry up and finish my legacies before WordPress’s entire structure collapses and I implode out of insanity.fearfallenFear is now a man, as you recall, and will now take over Pain’s reins.2AND THE FIRST THING THAT BITCH DID BEYOND MY CONTROL WAS PISS RIGHT THERE IN THE DOORWAY RIGHT AFTER THE CAKING.

Crystal: “Really.”

Judd: “Naw man, she’s just making a pond.  This lot needs one.”

Loathing: “But really??  Right there in the DOORWAY?!  I can’t swim, how am I supposed to get out of this room now?!”3The first wish Fear wanted was to see Pain’s ghost, much like Pain before him (not happening for a while dude), but the next was to give a gift to his twin brother, which is super kind to be honest.

Loathing: “Oh boy, I sure hope it’s a lycan potion to aid me in my quest to ravage the whole town with werewolfism, or else my LTW is going to be a shit creek.”

Fear: “Actually it’s a bed I’ve managed to compress into a small 6 inch cube, with the hopes that at least SOMEONE in this family will actually figure out how to use it and lead us back out of the stone ages.”

Afterwards, he wished not once, but twice, to be a vampire.  So he’s already eager to begin his life’s mission.4Fear: “Not sure who the eff that is, but I hear he’s making bank.”

Phonecase?  As in, Euphoria’s IF Phonecase?  The He-literally-only-made-three-appearances-in-this-entire-legacy Phonecase?

Fear: “Sure I guess.  He’s fucking loaded, idk”5Eboni: “Speaking of IFs, you still hanging out with yours, dude?  What are you, five?”

Loathing: “Fuck off thottie, can’t you see me and my boy finding peace in order to keep from clonking your skull through the teleporter?  Best be grateful Rocket Scientist has taught me the inner calms of my mind.”

Rocket Scientist: *Has actually been dead for a decade*6Ok, this usually doesn’t even phase me anymore, but…

I was like… 95% sure Famine was JUST at the birthday party here???7Famine: “Sometimes you just got to go find a new floor to sleep on you know?  The foyer stone gets to your back after 16 years of sleeping on it.”

Ramona: “I’ve already called the law.”8Happiness: “Well Fear, I made it.  Despite your directions.”

Fear: “You loon, we took the same taxi.  Anyway, I’ve called you out here for a private chat, on a matter upmost important to me.”

Happiness: “Ooooh the bistro!  Man I haven’t been to one of these, in a age or two!!  Give me a minute, I gotta go get my snack on!”9Fear: “Did he… yeah he really just went in and left me out here.”10Happiness: “Sorry about leaving you out here for two hours to wait on me like that, but I really had to see if they still sold those little bagels I used to love so much.  They do!!  They’re so good.  I’m so hungry for one right now.”

Fear: “Then why didn’t you GET ANY”11Fear: “Whatever.  I’m going to cut to the chase.  I require you to bestow upon me, the gift of vampirism.  I require it for my vision for the future, and I will not take your resistance on this.”12Happiness: “YOU?  Want to be a vampire??  Someone, after five generations after me, actually wants to be a vampire too, and of all of them it’s YOU?”13Happiness: “Wait a minute.  You just want to be a vampire to do bad things, like crimes in the name of Sauron or whoever you think is in possession of your Cabbage Patch Kid doll from when you were a baby.”14Fear: “Well… yeah.  Of course.”

Happiness: “I knew it!! I can’t condone it, Fear!  You cannot be a vampire!! You cannot control the power for good and I, the Last Vampire (in this county), will not give you permission to be a vampire.”

Fear: “Whatever, Happiness.  Be that way.  I’ll go talk to Jamie then, the Other Last Vampire, and get him to work with me on this.  Have fun being forever alone, with no other vampire friends to hang out with.”15Happiness: “Wellllll…. when you put it that way… it’ll be kinda cool to have another vampire to relate to.  I actually like this idea.  This might be actually kinda fun!”

Fear: “Well.  That was easier than I expected.”

Happiness: “Now if you don’t mind, I’m off to remind you that you are still in an ISBI.”16Fear: “Um.  Sure.  Ok well when you are done with your… performance… in this alley way in a rainstorm… we’ll go to the ritual site and… are you even listening to me…”


After all this time, this is the first time I’ve seen Happiness, or anyone, automatically perform for tips.  I need to bring Happiness to a fairly non distracting lot more often if this is the case.17Irene: “I’ll be, young man.  Your vampire friend has such a fine voice.  Makes him even more studly than before…”

Fear: “Studly you say??”18Helen: “And he just goes on and on and on!!  The vampiric STAMINA of this man~  I bet he can go on all night like this~”

Fear: “VAMPIRE STAMINA YOU SAY~~~???”19Euphoria: “Oh heyyyy, Jamie!  Hadn’t seen you in forever, but speak of the Devil, the boys were just across town talking about you!  I guess so anyway.  I wasn’t actually there.”

Jamie: “Awwh, just let me fade away in obscurity in peace.  I already suffer under my day job as a Wendys cook, can’t I at least keep the shreds of my dignity?”

Yeah, more or less after Jamie’s last romantic interest died of old age Jamie kinda went off the grid.  I forgot I even added him in this town for a bit there.20Anyway.  LOVE’S DEAD.



And that was it for good old Love.  She now joins her long dead beloved Reynaldo, and I’m actually really happy they got to be reunited because they were such a wonderful couple.21Anyway, back to Fear’s ritual at hand.

Fear: “Ain’t shit at hand right now!!  That stamina is proving to be TOO good! It’s about to be dusk and he’s STILL attracting a crowd!!”

Happiness: “Yeah baby girl, come shake what yo’ mama gave you~ or what’s left of it anyway~”

Helena and Irene: “Well fuck you too then I guess”22Then we get yanked back to the house for Kay’s birthday!

Famine: *No fucks*23Famine: “Ok, I’ll give one fuck but only because sleeping on the floor really does suck”

Kay became inappropriate.  Her only hope to remain in this legacy was to grow up evil and be Fear’s bride, but I knew that was a long shot and really didn’t even want her to be Fear’s weird adopted sister bride thing.  So that’s good.

Soon she can go out and be her bootleg Snow White self all on her own.24Fear: “UNSEEN ONE PLEASE MAKE HIM STOP WE’VE BEEN HERE FOR TWELVE HOURS”

Why stop him, this is LITERALLY the biggest crowd I’ve ever seen him pull!  Go figure it’s just a sidewalk show and about half a millennia since he was technically a pop star, but he’s raking in some nice tip money.25Happiness: “Ok.  I’m pretty tired.  I think I’ll go home now.”

Fear: “Like shit you are.  Get over here and suck on this moodlet manager.  You still owe me a damn vampire ritual you vocal bastard.”

Happiness: “Hmmm.  Ok.  But only on one condition.”26Fear: “Did… we… REALLY… have to bring your ENTIRE CONCERT CROWD WITH US TO THE CEMETARY…”

Happiness: “Of COURSE!!  When am I ever going to have the opportunity for a baller after party such as this!!  That was the concert of the century!!  The after party should be such as well!!”27Fear: “Whatever I don’t CARE that your entire fan base is gawking around the cemetery, we need to hurry.  You must bite me on the oldest grave at the stroke of midnight for me to receive the True Blessing of his Unholiness!!  And if you do NOT hurry, I WILL kick you in the nuts and make you an alto the rest of your life.”

Happiness: “Sigh.  You’re just so much fun at parties.”28Happiness: “Alright, but I must warn you, as Jamie first warned me.  This will change your life, more intensely than you can ever imagine, and really if you don’t invest in Olay Moisturizer Sparkle Strength every day, you’re going to end up a strip of bacon on the sidewalk within a week.”

Fear: “If you don’t infect me right now I’ll fist you right in your teeth and kill two birds with one stone myself.”

Helen: “I actually could go for some bacon right now actually.”29Fear: “Ughn.  Finally.  I can hear the Dark Lord’s voice so clearly now… it’s ever so clearer to me…”

Helen: “Wow dude, you got some major bats coming out of your ass now.  You really need to see a doctor about your Assbats, because if that’s contagious and I catch them I WILL send the doctor bills to you.”30Fear: “Now that I have gotten the infection from you, I don’t even need you anymore!!  Prepare for your DEATH, HAPPINESS!!” *lunges*

Happiness: “Whoa dude chill for a bit.  You got a day or two before the teeth actually grow in and all that.  Teeth are like, really slow to grow and all you know.  Calcium or somethin’.”

Helen: “How DARE you betray your new best friend like that, Fear!!  After he gave you his Assbats and everything!! Why, if I knew where my umbrella suddenly blew off to I’d beat you in the head for this!!”

Christopher: “Yeah I really don’t like where this is going.”31Fear: “NO!!  FUCK YOU HAPPINESS!! I DON’T NEED FRIENDS AND I DON’T NEED YOU!!” *Stakes Happiness in the chest*

Happiness: “Haha yeah bro that doesn’t work on me.  I wanna say I actually Davy Jones’d that in a jar and left it in a sandbank back in Hidden Springs or something, but I entrusted it to my dingus wife when she was alive so really it could be anywhere between there and our own driveway actually.  I really just use the empty chest cavity for excess art supplies.  It’s like an extra pocket!!  Just like with girls!”

Helen: “Haha, I get that.  You’re funny, I like you :)”32Fear: “I͇̼̯͍̬͙ͣ̄̏̿̎͢ ͖̬̥̳͎̙̐̾̅̾̌ͦ̑ͥw̬͎̦͉͈̰͇̗̋̾͒̂i̴̵̜̟͓͕̝͛̾͊͊̌ͯ̑ͫl͊̓ͥ҉̟͈̹̭͇̩̣͍̦͢l̨͔̣̱͖͕͕ͣͭ͟ͅ ̢͎͈̰̪͍͇̻͖̈͗ͣ̓͝ͅd̵̢̞͔̱̦̫̣̻ͣ̃̔ͮ̽ͪͅě̲̘̩͖̬͉̝̫͉̏̌͑̆̕s̎͑ͨͮ̏̚͟҉̷̞̤̺̻̻̗̣ẗ̢̯̘̪̣̻́ͮ̈̿̏ͦ̋̕ͅr̯̎̌͒ͥͯͦ̚̕ͅo̹̣̜͓ͣ͑ͭ͠y͓̖̪̳̳̪̲̪̝͌̈́ͣ͋̅ͫ͌ ̸͉̠͓͙̮͌̾̓ͮ̍̆͋ͭ̎y̵̛̥̱̰̗̓͂ͯ̿̊͝o͚͖̰͖̩̮̔͋̅̿͐ͣ̇̅͡ͅư̼̟͕͒̌̍̓̐̈͘ ̡̛̺̮̜͚͕̻̠̃̌̾̚̚ͅï̴͕̣͖̳̹̞͈̙̊̒̓ͣ̕͜ṉ̵̢͕̘̼̺̄͒̿ͨ͝ͅ ̤͚̭̖́ȁ̵̞͙̥ͯ̓ ̢̈̍͂̔ͣ̋͌͠͏͖͈͔͎͖̲̥ͅf̴̙͖̀̈́̈́̐̚͟ơ̼͙̮̻̦̣̪̙ͧ͋́ͭ̄r̨̙̘͕͓͙̓ͭ̎̿ṱ̵̬͌͒n͙̒̔ͯ̍͊ͫ̒̚i̻͍̫͎͕̝̦͕̦͐͌g̸̲͍͑ͯh̴̹̦̣̗̪̘̲̓̃̆̌̈̍̓͊ṫ̡̧̯̤̼͚̝̒ͪ̾̅͐,̧̳͔̦͕̳̟̔ͧͦͥ̐͆̏͡ͅ ̨̙̘̐ͧ̾̽̈́ͣ̆͐̉͘͡H̭͙̻̫̆͗͗ͬ̒͒ͬ́͢͢a͋̓͆̃͆ͧͯ̚͘͠҉̱̘̬̩̜͇̩͙p̧̪̩̤̳̣̗̉͒ͥ̃ͧ̒̅̑͝ͅp̸͔͖̞̗͎͕͎̓͒̋͜i̘͓͕͍̰̻ͩ̽n̢̝̮̮͋͌͡e̷̖͎͔̪̘̮͊ṡ̨̬̠̩̳ͦ̂̍͊̃͌̚͟s̢͖ͣ̐ͤ ̘̣̦͎͙̃́͜F͋̈͏͈̼̰̫̥a̤͉̓̓͒̅͘l͕̲̜̭ͫ̾̒͝l̜̙̻̭̼ͨ̓͐ͩ̓ͪ͗ͨ́e̦̮͍̣̘̭̤̯̽ͥn̰̗͉̯̄̃̈”

Happiness: “Bro you really got to get an exorcist to look at your sleeping bag or something.  And get your finger out of there, I’m not really into that kind of play you know :\”33Fear: “Ugh.  I’m BACK.  Still with the vampire asshole.  AND his stupid fucking ROADIES FOLLOWED US TOO, I’M SO PISSED.”

Happiness: “This has been the best concert night of my life!”34Helen: “I’m just so happy that creep didn’t hurt you.  You are ok, aren’t you, Happiness?”

Happiness: “I am, but only because of my feelings for you.”

And he’s back to thinking he’s a player as soon as he’s on home turf.  What else is new.35Fear: “Oh shit, the MILF with the bangin’ ass followed us from the graveyard?  Now that’s one groupie I don’t mind hanging out with us.”

Helen: “You think my ass is banging?”

Happiness: “Um…”36Helen: “I was wrong, you’re not creepy, you’re actually a little stud yourself aren’t you~”

Fear: “Oh hell yeah, moving in on Judd’s baby mama, this really is the best night ever.”

Happiness: “What EVER.  I don’t CARE.  I’m just gonna go “play with my lizard” somewhere else since no one wants me!!  HUMPH.”37Loathing: “Alright alright, now it’s my turn with Judd’s hoe!  Move along Fear, you’ve already maxed your quota this chapter anyway.”

Fear: “Oh fuck OFF, Loathing!  Don’t you have a dog to get ringworm from somewhere?”38While Helen was getting passed around in the back yard like a hot potato, the kids that weren’t grounded for whatever but probably the usual reasons snuck off to prom.  And Horror, in all her horrible stupid, undeserving self, of COURSE she gets prom queen.  Ugh.  Unworthy.39She still is more innocent than her brother, who is now dating his “adopted sister” so yeah.  That’s always so attractive.40And then of course, let’s go further down the rabbit hole of bad dates, as Famine over here is how romantically inclined with Pollo Ranchero, which if you recall is an IF.  That still belongs to his triplet brother Pestilence.

Famine: “What can I say, the creativity of my brother’s mind is so… hot.”

Pestilence: “Please I wish for major death now.”41Lastly the only other thing of interest is Truth thinking aliens are coming for her, which I rarely see anymore and at this moment can’t recall any one else but Bella Goth ever having.

Hella ironic considering she is herself 1/4 alien, so yeah Truth.  If the aliens are coming for you it’s probably your mama picking you up after prom.42Anyway next morning the house was having major mood failings so we all went around the block in the MM to get that boost.  And by MM I mean no one wants to acknowledge it exists in the yard anymore and wouldn’t stop getting in the convertible.

Pain: “And that’s why when Judd passed the fuck out we slung him out of the car on the curb at 55 miles an hour?”

Fear: “Yep.”

Pain: “I knew I was choosing right when I picked you to be my inheritor.”43I guess a few other people deserved to get kicked out of the car.  But REALLY KAY?

HOW, YOU HAVE NEVER LEFT THE HOUSE ALMOST YOUR WHOLE LIFE.44Happiness: “Heck YEAH!  No lady can resist the call of the Happinator!!”

CAN YOU FUCKING CALL IT A DAY HAPPINESS45Happiness: “Now that we have acknowledged our passion for each other, I believe we can truly live happily ever after, don’t you agree, Princess?”

Kay: “Mmmm.  Maybe.  But if I recall, grandma wasn’t happy with me before about dating in the family… maybe that’s why I’ve got such a naughty reputation now?”46Well kinda.  That and hooking up with Loathing at prom is probably gonna do you in.47Happiness: “GAAAH!!! NOOO!!!  I bet you already touched his peepee, didn’t you?!”

Kay: “Uhm.  Lol probably.” *Begins sucking on a Jolly Rancher*48And alas.  Third fail this chapter, with Loathing taking a nap nap at the potion shop.

Crystal: “Dang it Loathing, this wouldn’t have HAPPENED if you didn’t flush the MM keys down the toilet when you were two!!”

Pain: “That’s why I disowned you shits as soon as I could, this is embarrassing.”

Pain you pissed in the first three seconds, you can’t say anything.49And lastly, what in the blasted fuck is a Manipulator Reputation??  HOW MANY ROMANTIC INTRESTS DO YOU GOT TO INITIATE THIS CHAPTER, HAPPINESS???

Happiness: “Look, I’m trying to counterbalance all the chapter’s fails with some “good time”s so at least one of us is having a nice day.  Now if you don’t mind.  Please hit play so I can continue romancing my new love of my life…”50Happiness: “Oh.  She’s here with her husband and very angry brother.  Why do I get the feeling my life’s in danger?”

I wouldn’t have a clue, Happiness.

Making a Break for it

WordPress is so good at fucking up the simplest of things these days.  I set the heir poll to end on the 25th or so, but it just kept going and going, and when I finally went to end it myself, all it wanted to do was “DO YOU WANT TO DELETE IT?  DO YOU WANT TO RESET IT? IF YOU TOUCH IT, WE WILL RESET IT.  YOU WANT TO DELETE?  WE RESET FOR YOU.”

So whatever, fuck it, screenshots of the result as of 9/29 works just as well.000

The voting pool was small this time, and the race was really tight.  On the boolprop poll, Loathing was the winner by far.  However, with all the votes tallied together, Fear wins by two votes!  Been a while since I had a race this close before.

Malice didn’t get jack all but one vote.  Eff her then I guess lol.
1The last time we were here, the last of the children became teenagers, even though Horror tried her damnedest to get taken away by the social worker because “TEEHEE SLEEPING IN SNOW TOO COMFY”

Anguish died at the apothecary shop, and that’s where we are currently at.

Famine: “Do you think mom will notice my new all over full body tattoo I got from that bush over there.”

War: “Gonna be honest, if our parents look really hard at you, your ears might just give you away first.”2Malice: “I thought being blue was gonna be fun and all, since it’s my favorite color and everything, but why do I feel like I look like evil Smurfette or some crap?”

Joaquin: “Why are you unpaying solicitors still here”3Truth: “Well I can’t let my siblings have all the fun!  I wonder what color the bush is going to grant me?”

Gee, I can only imagine how this one will turn out.4Truth:  “Wow!  Yellow looks so cool on me.  If only this could be my natural color all the time!  That’s sarcasm by the way.  I’m sarcastic.”

I’m just happy every time the bush doesn’t kill anybody.5Joaquin: “Sorry ladies and ladies!  This is a grade A ass emergency!”

Kay: “An assmergency?”

Euphoria: “Kay, don’t cuss.”6Joaquin: “Look what you made me do!  If you guys didn’t form a line that I had to work so hard to cut in front of, I would have made it to the toilet!!  Oh I pray my boss won’t cut my pay for smelly pants…”

Euphoria: “You know, you’re not in our family so this hardly matters to us.”7Crystal: “Alright, everyone here?  One, two… three… four… everyone stay ON the sidewalk or else the curfew cops will bust up through the ground like mole people.  Kay, both feet on the sidewalk, please!! We really can’t afford another lawsuit.”

Pestilence: “But you promised us Taco Bell first!!”8Oh for fuck’s sake.  I just HAD to have one that drug their feet for .0001 seconds.9Truth: “Like, I KNOW this cop saw me literally pulling on the door handle, but that’s ok.  I got… an idea.”10Th



Cop: “BREAKER, WE ACTUALLY HAVE A RUNNER!  HOLY SHIT!! THEY DIDN’T ACTUALLY PREPARE US FOR THIS KIND OF DELIQUINCY!! RELEASE THE SWAT TEAM!! LOAD UP THE M18 HELLCAT!! I’M IN PURSUIT!!”11Cop: “Alright.  I want you to be honest with me.  Did you really think you could outrun a cop car?”

Truth: “To be fair I kinda hoped the shock of me making a break for it would confuse you so hard you’d bug out and get stuck standing in front of the store for the rest of your life.”

Cop: “Alright, fair enough.”12Truth: “Really??  Just like that, you’re just gonna let me go?!  For just being honest about it??  Well then.  Good thing I didn’t have any of my usual “science experiments” on me then.”

See, I have several questions.13Judd: “Yeah, and so do I!  Why can’t you teach any of these OTHER DUMBASSES HOW TO RUN AWAY FROM THE COPS INSTEAD OF JUST KISSING THEIR ASS ON THE SIDEWALK”

Truth: “See, here’s the thing, I just assumed they knew how to do so all along?  They were just being nice about it?”14War: “Wow this house is stressing me out.  If anyone needs me, I’ll be taking my pina colada I pulled out of my butt into the yard for a much needed break.”

I’m still trying to figure out where the coconut drinks keep coming from.  War is the third sim I have ever seen with one.15Happiness: “Oh GOD NO, Euphie is at it again with the pool table, guys!!”


Horror: “Why am I not out in the cold trying to off myself”16Euphoria: “The heck are you guys going on about… I got this trick down pat, guys.  I’ve been practicing all week, and trust me, with my newfound skill, I’m going to wow the socks off of you!”17*Twelve seconds later*


Judd: “I really enjoy living here.”18Pain: “Alright my little shitlets.  I’ve had too many complaints about my quality lately, so I’ve gone out and got myself new video software.  It should take care of the finer details of my show, like removing my wrinkles from my face and wait did I say wrinkles I meant my low resolution on my face, wait I meant…”19Pain: “Well, whatever.  Now I’m about to pry open this thing and jam this stuff on in, and before you know it, it will be a better, more vivid stream for everyone!”20Pain: “THERE.  Perfect.  Now no one can ever complain about my quality ever again.  Well.  Whenever the software kicks in.  …Honestly I followed that hobo’s instructions on how to take apart my monitor and put it back together around this CD that he sold to me for $150, but this shit better work soon.”21Herpesvirus: “Damn, you idiots are slacking up and not going to school AGAIN?  I already told yo mama.  She on her way to tear your ass UP!”

Terror: “Bro I thought you were on my side here…”22Ah well, grandma got to him first.

Terror: “Ah no.  Nooo grandma.  I’m so scared please don’t punish me ahh.”

Love: “Don’t underestimate me just because I’ve been under a rock for a while now!!  You’re grounded and not allowed to go to school because of you not going to school!!  Per usual!!”

Terror: “Oh god no what a surprise.”23Happiness: “For this delinquency go mop the sidewalk until I say your punishment is over!!”

War: “Jeez, any one ever heard of a mental health day?!  Sometimes a hoe needs to do some self care!!”24Euphoria: “Hey Clyde, I’m here to congradulate you on… something.  I don’t remember.  Anyway nice daughter she’s coming along… good I think.”

Brianna: “Stay out of my dresser if you know what’s good for you.”25Euphoria: “No really, she’s growing up to be such a fine, beautiful daughter.  Say, you think I can wring some werewolf essence out of her or something, just put it in a bottle?  I’ve been jonsing for a potion for years and I just want to hold one.”

Sandi: “The fuck”26And then the house got reset because everyone was glued to their spot on the floor.

Famine: “Awh man.  I liked being useless and doing nothing.”27Famine: “Anyway, didn’t know you were actually older than me, Fifth Harry Potter Book!  That’s awesome!  Congrats for the earlier birthday!!  Can you go buy me some cigarettes?”

Fifth Harry Potter Book: “Wow I can’t wait to actually ground the little shit myself.”28Whatever, back to NOT GOING TO SCHOOL AGAIN

Horror: “It’s actually really fun to just exist to do nothing but piss people off.  I got to do this more often!”29Love: “Ok I’m off to ground most of the kids again, and that’s going to take me all day.  You sit here and figure out why the tv has been broken on just one screen for the past four hours.”30Crystal: “The tv is broken?!  OH.  I never realized this until now.”

Love: “Crystal, the tv takes up 48% of the wall space in here and you’ve been in here since 3am.  How could you SERIOUSLY miss it?!”31Crystal: “Do you think we should call someone to come take a look at it so it doesn’t burn the house dow-oh, she was never really there to begin with… huh…”32Terror: “I heard it was your birthdays today, guys!  Congrats on your newfound role as family leader, Fear!!  I trust you and know you will do right by us and lead us in the right path, also will you buy us cigarettes??”

Loathing: “If you sacrifice Terror to your heathen god, Fear, I’ll keep the secret and not tell our moms about it.”

Fear: “Duely noted.”33Crystal: “Dangit it, War!!  I trusted you the most!!  How could you do this to us!!”

War: “Mom, I’m sorry but my grades are already past the point of no return!  What’s the point of even yelling at me about them now anyway?”

Crystal: “NO, I’m talking about the unkept TODDLER living in the field across the way from us!!  We could have RESCUED that innocent baby and taken him away from such squalor conditions!!  Why didn’t you let me know they had gotten a new kid!!?”34Henry: “Not going to lie.  I like Ignacio better than you.”

Harold: “Whatever, everyone is going to have their opinions.”35Crystal: “And as for you! …You know what.  Whatever.  I actually have lost faith in you.”

Happiness: “Hey, don’t cut in line.  Get behind me and take your turn getting around the sleeping bags.  I was here the longest!”36Another reason to love Fear!  He’s the first non-boarding school child in this legacy to get on the honor roll!  I will forever have no idea how he did it.37To reward him for that, his very unused bedroom will now sport two cakes for his and his brother’s birthday.

Fuck off Malice.

Malice: *Breakdances for boat*38Loathing: “You really going to pull me in here with I’m exhausted as fuck, this is going to be your fault when I pass out on the floor because of this.”

Fear: “Ah, you deserve to.”39Fear: “I’m so glad the majority of the family that I actually have any attachment to came to my party today.  I will ask the Unseen one to be merciful to you all for this when the Day comes.”

Suddenly I’m less concerned with the party than I am about the MALAYAN KRAIT SNAKE ON THE CARPET40He’s just so…perfectly camouflaged in.

Snake: “Maybe I just wanted some cake too, you ever think of that”41And here’s the heir!  His last trait has jack all to do with his evilness, along with everything else about him, as he’s now never nude. 

But alas, his soulless demeanor and dedication to his demon god will lead him on his LTW path to Turn the Town with fervor.42Fear: “Wow, my love interest from prom actually remembered me and made it to my birthday!!  She’s… huh.  Scarier than I remember actually.”43Crystal: “Please son, I’m usually not a picky person but please choose anyone else but her.”

Jerri: “THTHTHTHTHT”44Not going to lie, Fear is handsome as shit.  The soulless creepiness aside, compared to his kinda goofy looking twin brother, he might be a fast favorite.

Loathing: “Wait… the fuck does that mean, “kinda goofy”….”45Whatever, he fucks now too.

Loathing, in a strange twist compared to the rest of his violent personality, is now eco-friendly.

Loathing: “I’ll beat up a mother fucker for the local wildlife.”

I mean.  I guess that can make sense in a way.  His LTW will mirror that of his brother’s after all and he will now want to be the Leader of the Pack. 

The good news to that LTW is that Euphoria has been looking for a werewolf potion to have in her possession to complete a wish anyway.  Bad news is she’s had that damn wish since Fear and Loathing were kids so might have to figure out how else to worm that occult form into Loathing’s life.46Kay: “Heh, now that you’re going to be a dog and all, that means you’re going to be drinking out of the toilet now, right?  Hehe, I can’t wait to secretly post that on youtube…”

Loathing: “Fear don’t recruit Kay into your stupid cult or whatever, leave this one for me to maul”47Fear: “So, you’re the one I will more likely be ruling this town with with an iron unwavering fist, right?  We can totally rule this town together with ease you know, if you embrace the guidance of the dark lord himself.”

Truth: “Please, I’m just sitting here hoping Courage learns how to be nice in the academy so I can go live under a bridge somewhere.”48

Fear: “Also, now that I’ve gotten over your initial looks and demeanor, I’m willing to figure out how to use a bed for the first time in my life if you’re down to join me, Jerri.”

Jerri: “Yeah, this is definitely the last time I ever step foot in this weirdo’s house.”

The Book Club

0Anguish: “yes”

Happiness: “WHY IM ALREADY IN THE HOUSE”1Gonna start off off topic but Eboni grew up and despite not having my love and despite me not actually giving a big shit when I redid her teen look for her, she actually turned out to look a bit… fun.

Eboni: “Please leave me alone I didn’t want to exist in the first place anyway”2Also since he’s here, now that he’s very much under a different light, my simself’s husband also turned out to be pretty studly as well!

Jimmy Choo: “I still like to lick mailboxes tho”3Happiness: “Alright you guys.  I have to be quick, should Pain find out that I jimmied her door lock just to get to her computer.  I got a secret, a secret I’ve been meaning to get off my chest for ages.  And here’s the thing.  The thing is…”4Loathing: “Bro, hurry up, she’s coming, she’s on her way in here with a kitchen knife lol”

Happiness: “GAH the secret will have to wait!  Is there a window in this room!  GAH no time to jump out of that either, I must FLEE”5Pain: “Noooo, I hope they stayed out of my excel files… I can’t afford to go to jail again…”6OK SO ANYWAY, last chapter was spent just trying to keep the kids from killing themselves in the snow.  A cat walked into the front door and hasn’t left yet.

Crystal: “And my guess it never will.”

Terror: “Sweet.”7Pestilience: “No really, we really gonna keep this cat?  Cool I’m naming him Bitch.”

No not this time.  I’m actually curious to see how long this cat stays here.  It’s already been a day.8Malice: “We should totally send a ransom note to his owners, and extort some hella simoleons out of them… and every time the cat comes over on it’s own free will, we just keep raking in the blackmail money! We’ll pay for college without having to lift a finger!”

Pestilence: “Speaking of college.  How are those grades coming along?  You know. Since I can’t recall you ever touching a page of homework ever.”9Pain: “Oh just ignore me.  I’m just filling the food bowl for the cat for my own wish and wants.  Not for the cat’s wish or wants at all.  Not trying to coerce the cat to staying with us forever.  Not ever no!”

Terror: “Maybe the cat will get a bed of it’s own.  And then I can curl up in what’s considered an actual “bed” and get a real night’s sleep for once.”10War: “Don’t understand what the big deal is!!  We already got a cat we don’t take care of!”

Happiness: “Wow you aren’t doing so hot in school either you failure”

Terror: “You both share the same brain cell, so don’t even talk.”11Mercedes: “Wow a fossil I do believe”

Spongey: *Is just straight up essence*12Jesus I just went to look at the frozen snake for ONE FUCKING MINUTE

Horror: “I’m smart though.  I kept the sleeping bag on the one clear square in the yard so you know it’s going to be dry and toasty!”13Pain: “Look.  As much as I’d think it’s hilarious for Euphie and Crystal to lose all their kids to the foster system forever, you little shits rake in a lot of money during tax season so you gotta stop being so mind-fuckingly stupid and go sleep in the hallway or something less dumb, you little shit.”14Horror: “I don’t answer to the likes of you, you skank ass bimbo!  You ain’t my mom!”

Pain: “Well damn!  With an attitude like that I’m fucking glad I’m not!”15Horror: “The bitch is lucky I got to piss.  What the hell are you doing in here, all alone and suddenly older than me?”

Booty Burger: “Nothing that usual unsupervised “15 year old” “boys” do in the bathroom when no one’s looking, that’s for sure.”16Happiness: “Charlie, my old nemesis, so pleased to see youSUCKER PUNCH YOU SWINE”

Euphoria: “Golly I sure do love cheating on my diet and my skill workout routines”17Happiness: “Take that beating with a word of warning you demon from hell!!”

Euphoria: “You good over there?  Got it out of your system?  Successfully choked that literal chicken?  Happy you beat something that weighs -99% less than you?  Ain’t you a big man.”18Crystal: “I sense a disturbance.”

Oh no.  Don’t tell me.19Crystal: “Who let this wild animal in my house, now I have to tell it off.”

Captain (the cat): “Well I made it a good two days before anyone really noticed me.”

Pain: “Everyone get in line, but get in line after me!  I want to be one of the first to holler at the cat.”20Pain: “I for one think that since we got a perfectly good microwave just sitting around doing nothing else, we should REALLY teach this cat a lesson.”

Malice: “Haha, YEAH, fuck you Bitch you little bitch”

Happiness: “Why does everyone have to be so violent in this house”21War: “Lol look what I located out in the yard.  He’s so lucky I even care.  Now I’m going to smash a whole stack of plates on his head for payment for me even dragging his frozen ass in the house.”

Fear: “Really couldn’t just let me die for my Gods in piece huh…”

Famine: “Man to I have to take a hella LEAK”22Famine: “Speaking of, what the hell do you want, piss nugget.”

Truth: “You guys really are going to turn into psychopaths.”23Judd: “No please I can’t do this, why did I agree to this…”24Euphoria: “Stop blubbering Judd, it’s not going to hurt any more than the effort and force I’m putting into the throw!”

Considering that, I’m starting to worry about the effort she’s putting into these games…25Euphoria: “GET READY FOR MY SUPER HOT HELLA YEET MISSLE 5000 FIREBALL!!!”26Judd: “Eek no I’m scared :(“

Euphoria: “NONE OF YOU ARE ANY FUN”27Euphoria: “Since Judd had to go get his fingers spliced at the hospital because he catches like a piece of paper, would you like to help me build igloos, which may hold a solution for my idiot children sleeping outside in improper conditions and may even temporarily solve our bedding crisis?  Or do I have to sing a Disney princess song first.  Because I didn’t take any proper singing lessons.”

Deer: “Fuck your son.”

Euphoria: “Now that is just plain uncalled for.”28You know what.  Fuck Horror.  I don’t even care.  I’ll take the loss.  She’s so stupid I can no longer stand her.  Let CPS take her, I’m not going to be hurting for it.29Besides the last of the kids are growing up and Truth is going first anyway.  That’s all I’m worried about at this time anyway.

Truth: “Yay!!  The narrator ignored that I was also sleeping in the snow and doesn’t care anyway!!  WOO!”

Don’t test me.30Anyway.  Truth, our current expected heiress is cute and I do adore her. 

Her new trait is Equestrian, which I don’t believe I’ve ever even had before?  Does this mean I have to get a horse?

Truth: “What’s a cat?”31Truth: “Yeah!  Your turn to age up, Horror!  Go for it!  You know before I call CPS myself!  For your own well being and safety!!”

Horror: “Oh Jack Frost you’re so sexy when you spit all over my sleeping bag zzzz…”32Terror: “Too bad I’ve actually elected to go first!  You came out here to cheer me on, Herpes?!”

Herpesvirus: “I actually considered coming out here to smother you with a pillow before CPS had the honor of stealing you away from me but I guess you foiled that plan.”33Terror: “Oh well so much for hypothermia.”34Better lighting and all, Terror has the Born Salesman trait now.  We all know how much I love that useless hunk of junk.

Terror: *Pout*35Horror: “Oh well so much for freezing to death in my sleep!  I’ve opted to freeze myself to this pole while practicing my dancing skills!  Haha, I wanted the social workers to find me in the worst set up they could possibly fined me in on the lot provided.”

How in the fuck do I still have you36Horror: “Haha, too bad!  I made it!  Too bad loser, looks like you’re stuck with me for a few more weeks!”

You’re asking for a doorless basement room aren’t you.37Horror: “I’m so hilarious.”

I’m guessing this was just a long winded joke to her, because she now has a great sense of humor.  Can’t you tell I’m laughing :\38Horror: “I’m totally the ice queen.”

Cool, go outside and freeze to death like you were working on then.39Twins side by side for comparison though.  They really look nothing alike.

Horror: “Good, because you’re adopted.”

Terror: *Trying to come up with a witty way to point out that she is too while incorporating his new shit trait into it*40Euphoria: “Alright sweetie.  Now that you’re old enough I want to teach you how to drive.  Keep in mind it’s not because you are my favorite or anything, but because I don’t trust your siblings to not somehow get keys to a tank and destroy half the town with it.”

Dunsparce 2.0: “~MIDDDNIGHT~ NOT A SOUND FROM THE PAVEMENT~”41Truth: “So um.  Does he have the right away?”

Euphoria: “The fact that you’re going to narrowly miss him in this heavy snow and ice is a feat in itself.  If it were me I’d be handing you your license over now.”

Deer: “Did someone say something, I do believe I’m deaf”42At this point I do believe the cat is calling it quits and is on it’s way home.  Chose a perfect time to do so in this blizzard, but what do I know.43Afterwards the whole family went out on a family trip.  At 2 in the morning.  In the snow.  Because no one was happy.  They should be happy now.

Pestilence: “Like hell I am, this isn’t Applebees.”

Euphoria: “Be grateful anywhere in town is open at all at this hour.  Just ask if they got a vending machine.”44War: “Cool.  Since no one wants to use the door at the same time, I’ll just go the other way.”

The smartest of the whole family all of a sudden it appears.45Wow this shop is always bustling.

Joaquin: “Give me a minute to help you, y’all.  I’m on my 15 minute break.”46Joaquin: “Alright, I’m done with that and now it’s time for my lunch break!  Been looking forward to this all night!  Sure hope I don’t get a fart flavored one!!”

He’s doing such a good job keeping sales up.47Joaquin: “Alright you guys.  If you need anything of me?  I’ll be back after my next 15 minute break ok?”

War: “I’d ask to speak with a manager, but I’m sure he’ll tell me after his second lunch or some shit.”

Euphoria: “Should I manage the register for my purchase myself?”48Famine: “Thanks for meeting us so late for our Book Club meeting Anguish!  Totally fucking rude of you to just throw your book down on the ground.”

Anguish: “Well you two chose such a shit place to have this meeting at!  It’s like 25 American Degrees outside and you guys KNEW wasn’t planning on wearing my pants!  I’m freezing to death out here!!”49Anguish: “Oh shit”

Malice: “I feel the need to remind you Anguish that you signed a form when you joined this club that in the event of any sudden episode that the Club is not responsible or liable for your injuries, incidents, or death, and if you feel the need to ask any questions that arise please call the toll free number to our attorneys office between 3pm and 6pm EST.  Good day to you ma’am.”50Happiness: “WHAT DID YOU TWO DO?!”


Famine: “Why does this have to get pinned on me….”51Joaquin: “OH GOD I CAN’T TAKE ANOTHER UNLAWFUL DEATH SUIT, I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE, GET A DISQUISE, MAKE AN ALIBI”

Yeah because you were so totally helpful to begin with.51Anguish: “This was the most boring trip I have ever been on.  I was literally bored to death.  My death is on the hands of this whole group, just so you know.”

Happiness: “Well excuuuuuusee me, princess, next time I’ll bring the fireworks and sparklers.”52And the only one that didn’t even notice the death of her mother was the doting daughter herself.  Nap time won’t sleep on itself.53Kay: “Anyway, now that that’s been dealt with, if we are still doing this meeting, please flip in your books to chapter 5 please.”

Euphoria: “What do you MEAN, I’ve been reading the wrong book the whole time!  I was told we were revisiting the second Twilight book for months, why has no one informed me on this?!”


Alright let’s wrap this chapter up… with an HEIR POLL!!! With Horror and Terror ending their childhoods without any evil trait, that leaves three of our teens up for grabs.  We will start with Fear.FearReminder that yes he’s evil.  He’s also clumsy, and ~*family orintated*~ and ~*excitable*~ but don’t let those friendly positive traits trick you.  Look at him.  Look into his eyes.  There’s not a shred of humanity left in the boy.  He’s sold it all to his hell gods.  He just says those are his traits to trick you.  To get you to let your guard down.  That’s how he gets you.LoathingHis brother Loathing is also evil, and hot headed so he’s a true mean asshole.  He’s also neurotic and a coward, so he’s a hypocritical asshole.  Don’t know what’s worse.  The unemotional demon worshipper that’ll sell someone’s soul to Cthulu’s wife, or the asshole that’ll glass someone at the bar and then run away fearing repercussions.MaliceLast evil sim up for market is Malice, who also childish, loves the heat, and is absent minded.  She can be mean, can hold her own against her brother’s bullshit, and loves scaring people through walls and doors apparently.  Seems to keep to herself.  Mostly because her thoughts only go so far within a two inch radius of her head.

I’ll put a poll up here, and one at boolprop, and afterwards we’ll tally up and see who will be the next in line to inherit this bedless hell pit.


Surviving the Winter

I’m doing it again, I’m falling off track

HUUURRNNNGG1Last chapter Belial died.  He died at 99.  Go figure.

Euphoria: “Spongey?!  You’re still here!!  I figured you’d go into brumation by now, given that winter has been here for a month or something”

Spongey: *Has dead*2Judd: “Heh heh… with you by my side, you little piss gremlin, the world will cater to our every need or suffer… hehehe”

Courage: “Yeah you’ll have to raincheck on that Mr. Judd, I got to go to Junior Jugghead Orientation first thing in the morning or something”3Courage returned home for a short time between school sessions, and even though he’s brave he’s still a bit scared of Betel.

Courage: “Oh girl, someone done snatch her weave”

Malice: “Didn’t you say you were supposed to go to war already, why are you still here?”4Betel: “Me drink milky, it keeps me tough and strong and keeps the femurs hard, nah just fuckin wid ya it’s a screwdriver”


Yes this is old as fuck5Almost as old as THIS HORSESHIT

Horror: “MMm, who knew ice in my sleeping shorts would be so comfy”

Booty Burger: “SLIIIIDE to the LEFT!!  SLIIIIDE to the RIGHT!! CRISS CROSS!!”6Ok you stupid little shit, Pain’s called you in the house, the least you can do is fall asleep on the kitchen floo-


WELL DON’T RUN BACK OUTSIDE YOU DIPSHIT7Pain: “I’m glad you ain’t mine, because I would have just rolled you over into this pool by now.”

Horror: *Contemplating just passing out next time to really give me a good time*8Horror: “Hm.  That’s as far as I will answer my mother’s call for now.  They better be happy I made it this far but alas my legs are too tired to take another step.”

How I ended up getting her into the house is a fuck all mystery because I got distracted with Euphoria about to throw hands with Judd.9Euphoria: “THE AUTOPSY REPORT CAME BACK JUDD HOW COULD YOU”

Judd: “Why are you blaming me about the cat’s death you don’t even know the cyanide was mine…”


Stop no you need that friendship for work Euphie…10Euphoria: “I’m glad I managed to lock Horror in the oven, but you Loathing are just old enough to know better.  Here, take this Dyson to the shins and get ready for school, you’re about to run late.”10Trust: “Ooooh, school day, too much snow~~ I’m so happy they are looking out for the well being of us children.”

Bus driver: “Well I would have liked to have been INFORMED BEFORE LEAVING MY HOUSE”11Horror: “I slept on telling them that school was cancelled because I thought it would be funny to ruin my siblings’ morning :)”

Famine: *Was crowbarred off the sidewalk two seconds ago*

Malice: “No really what the fuck is wrong with you neanderthals and sleeping outside”12I’d say Courage escaped going to school on a snow day, but it’s not his school.  How he’s still here I don’t know though.

Courage: “Please… Dunsparce… bring me the hand warmers at least…”

Dunsparce: *Still loyally awaiting his master’s return from the frontlines, despite the fact that master has been here for the weekend already…*13Mailwoman: “I’m definitely calling the social worker on you guys”

Euphoria: “Nah it’s ok he’s already 13 this don’t count”

Boot camp snuck him away from my notice not long after this.14Back at the school, apparently a lot of kids didn’t get the snow day memo.

Eboni: “FUCK ALL”

Another opportunity to spouse gauge.  While she’s not really a choice (at this time), Garrett’s child with Jennifer Doe came out SO GOOD LOOKING

I can hardly believe her grandfather was Sedwick of all the Florida Men.  She’s an absolute doll.  I’d die for her.

I actually forgot her fucking name am I serious: “:)”15Meanwhile on the other end of the spectrum.

Mercedes: “Yeah.  I’m moving as soon as I’m 18.”16Horror: “WOW everyone!  Look!! It’s a SNOW DAY!!!  HahahAHAHAH!!  Can you believe it?!  You absolute DUMBASSES!!  Who would have SEEN it COMING, with all this SNOW HERE!?!”

Trust: “I still came because I like to learn…”17War: “Meh.  While they’re all in the front bemoaning about being tricked to come to school, I’m just going to go ahead and practice my stripper skills.  I ain’t needed no education in the first place.”

At least one of you is proactive and doing something with your time…18Billie: “Oh disembodied snowman.  You’re the only one I can trust here…”

Fear: “EL SNORE”

Euphoria: “What is this school teaching these kids…”19Euphoria: “Kids! Come quick! There’s someone here I’d like you to meet! This is Jaime, he’s been a family friend of the family for eons now even though I always expected him to end up being something “more” at least with grandpa Happiness after all they flirted with each other once approximately 91 chapters ago”

Jaime: “He told me he’d never tell anyone of that, good to know he lies :)”

Yeah Jaime is still around. Almost forgot I added him, even after he ended up married to Pandemic for all of a few days before he died. 
20Pollo Ranchero: “You know what honestly go ahead, fall asleep in the snow and die, you give me a fuckin’ migraine and I’m tired of trying to convince you to sleep somewhere safer than this.”

Pestilience: “Ah finally then.  Thanks Pollo :)”21Chicken 1: “At least when they thaw out in spring we will have plenty of food to eat in the upcoming world crisis events.”

Chicken 2: “It’s knowing that our children won’t suffer and starve that just does my heart good.”

Judd: *Is actually frozen right there just like that*22Leaving the school yard to go fall asleep in the bedding section of a goth Bed Bath and Beyond while the beds are completely broken is the epitome of irony if you ask me. 
23Fear: “This is completely not fair. The second 11pm hits, the younger siblings get reset by the Unseen One into the safety of our yard but we get the cops called on us because we “won’t leave after closing”.”

Loathing: “Don’t worry brother I’m ride or die with you.  I don’t really have a choice.”

Oh but you fucking did.
24Cop: “Another fine day of enforcing our strict unwavering laws”

Loathing: “Shank him in the neck when he gets in the driver seat, Fear”25Euphoria: “Sure love spending my passing time waiting on the boys to get home so I can ground them by playing tic tac toe with Betsy in this eternal blizzard.”

Betsy: “Yeah like there’s nothing totally worth your time more than doing this…”26Euphoria: “What do you MEAN the cow won?  You can’t even SEE the game at play here, how do we really know what happened here tonight?”

Betsy: “Yeah.  Totally didn’t see that coming.”27Judd: “Hm.  Just realized this thing actually needs a power cord.  I wonder where the power cord went… oh well.  Sorry bud, looks like you’re just going to have to wait the winter out in the permafrost this time.”

Euphoria: “Bew hew Belial”28Horror: “Wow Famine.  Your prosthetic ears look so fake against your frostbitten skin.  Who knew your fashion statements would make you look so fucking stupid.”

Famine: “Leave me alone I’m trying to get feeling in any body part I can as it is”28Pain: “Wait, no I didn’t mean to SUMMON them”

Someone mentioned kids being taken by the social worker on the boolprop forum earlier, and I thought of Elmer.  So I decided to give it the old college try and see if Elmer would come up on the list of adoptable babies the town had to offer if I’d call them up, but if you can’t tell I’ve never adopted a kid in this game in my life.  I didn’t think they’d threaten to instantly show up if I gave them a call. 

The house is in NO condition for a social worker visit, I can’t let them see this house in this condition!!

Crystal: “Kay, go dig up all the frozen bodies of your siblings and lock them up in a closet before DSS gets here.”

Kay: “Mmk.”29In the end, the social worker didn’t even fucking show up.  Sigh.

Patience: “HURNG snowman will protect us from the storm!  I’m so smart!!”30And honestly, I don’t even see the purpose of keeping the nursery room up.  No one ever goes in it anymore.  Not even for the ample floor space they could actually put their SLEEPING BAGS.

Loathing: *BIG ASS fucking ZZZs*31Anyway.  Simone bred.  Hope it grows up cute.  Though.  Don’t do it Simone.  I see that look in your eye.  I know what you’re thinking, so DON’T do it32Goddamn it Simone.33Pain: “Hmmm.  Playing games with you Famine has made me want to spend even more time with my favorite kid.  I really need to wrap this dumb game up with you and go out and catch up with my favorite!”

Famine: “Um… and who is even your favorite, I’m afraid to really ask…”34Ah yes.  Of all kids.  Her goblin neice.

Pain: “I will ensure my girl is going to have the best teen experience she can possibly have.”

Every other teen in the actual house: *Suffering*35Harley: “Juana!!  The baby requires her nightly feeding.  Fetch me the hose couplings.”

Juana: “Ugh, give me a second first, dad.  I think I hear Aunt Pain breaking in through the kitchen window again.”36Wow.  This new one is actually really close to being normal, other than the super suction nozzle for a nose.

Damn I forgot this one’s name too: “SNORT”37Pain: “What is UP, giiiiiirlllll!!  I know it’s literally 4 in the fucking morning but who’s up to learn how to DRIVE!!”

Juana: “Not me.”38Pain: “That’s GREAT!!  Hop on my VACCUUM CLEANER, and I’ll show you exactly how to steer this motherfucker!!”

Juana: “I begged mom to get us a restraining order… why does she never listen to me…”

In the end, Pain didn’t even get an option to ask her to teach her, which I assume is because she’s not even part of the household, but it’s not from the lack of effort that Juana won’t learn.39Stray: “Please… it’s so cold and I’m so hungry… won’t anyone take pity on an old alley cat and open their doors to at least let me survive the storm…”40Stray: “Oh shit, the door just swung open.  You guys really don’t believe in installing locks or even fucking deadlatches, do you…”

Just don’t come in here and cause the whole family to come and yell at you for no reason…41Greg: “With all this snow and seasonal cheer, I do believe it’s Christmas, at least for me this year!!”

Your mama.42Pain: “If I let him hit it from the back I wonder if he’ll leave us alone and let us keep our stuff.”

Judd: “Totally go for it!! I don’t feel like dealing with reordering new stuff right now.  Seasonal shipping is horrid this time of year.”43Of course he takes the boat.  Whatever.  It’s not like the family ever uses it but like one time a year.44And the TAPESTRY!  That stupid fucking TAPESTRY.  It never fails!  Every single time I have the tapestry in the house, it’s always stolen by a burglar or repo’d by a repoman!  Does anyone else ever have this happen in there game?  Please let me know because I am genuinely curious about this now.

Spooky Scary Skeleton

1Euphoria: “Tss… her chiropractor is going to be so infuriated.”2I suppose Crystal thinks she’s just too cool to use a sleeping bag anymore.

Crystal: “Snoozing on the bricks with my hands on my buttcheeks.  That’s what all the cool kids are doing now.”

Last chapter, Loathing almost froze to death thanks to indifferent bastard cops, but was saved by warm rain.  He was grounded but Happiness thinks he’s the good guy and let him off the hook.  Loathing yelled at him for it.

Judd realized his and Helen’s one year anniversary was here and we sent him to spend some time with his darling estranged wifey.3Judd: “DEAN YOU STUPID LITTLE SHIT!!  HOW DARE YOU KICK OUT YOUR OWN FATHER AND LOCK THE DOOR ON ME!!  OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!! OPEN IT BEFORE I KICK YOUR ASS!  I KNOW YOU KNOW I’M OUT HERE!  I CAN SEE YOU FROM THE FUCKING WINDOW!!”

At 3am it’s going great.4Pookie: “So I guess you’re just going to pretend you can’t hear him banging on the window?”

Dean: “And mother wonders why I have already turned to drink.”5Judd: “Hey baby, it’s daddy.  You think you can just let me take a shower in your bathroom real quick?”

Sheryl: “Why hasn’t mom just filed your divorce already.”6Hello Ignacio, Mayhem and Patience’s baby.  I just swung by to give you lookies, since you had your birthday and all.

Ignacio: “Greetings.  I would like to point out that the Midnight Hollow sun does not express my hue very well and I am in fact a pinkie child, and not a green child, much to my father’s chagrin.  I felt that needed to be said apparently.”7Jimmy Choo, now an adult and married to my simself, is also over at the field, licking on their mailbox apparently.

Jimmy Choo: “Hehe, now you have to touch my germs to get your mail, losers!”

Valor: “Awh, I just slapped a mop all over that too :(“8Sabrina: “Me and Jimmy Choo are starting over, with our own little family, and our firstborn child together, and our lives will be perfect with the three of us!  Yep.  Me and Jimmy and our baby.  Go introduce yourself to the nice cowplants now, Eboni!”

Eboni: “Why do I have a bad feeling you’re just trying to get me out of the picture…”9Still no school for the homeschooled, who is learning something from the books around the house.

Though that’s not my concern at the moment, I wish I knew where she got that random ass chair.10And really Famine.  You were SO DAMN CLOSE11My two lovely lovey dovey wifeys.  Enjoying a nice round of 4am football.

Crystal: “Yaaaayyy ~~~ weeee~~~~ so much fun spending time with you, Euphie~~~”12Crystal: “Wait, no, NO, Euphie, we TALKED about this, you promised no more hard throughs, EupHIE, NO”13Crystal: “Eee, my dainty complexion :(”

Euphie: “THE BALL DIDN’T EVEN TOUCH YOU”14Since I don’t really have any beds for the Betels to be glitching up on, I have decided to add them back into the house.  Or, really, just the one, as I will explain in a second.15Fear: “Awwh, really?  And we were finally amassing a decent liquor collection for once in our lives.”16But anyway.  Yeah.  This was the reason this was probably a bad idea.



Betel: “Really, that’s not necessary, I just swept over there today.”18Pain: “A SKELETON?!  NOOOO!  TAKE ME WITH YOU BALD HEAD MAN!!”

Maid: “You know, I have a name if you ever cared to learn it.”

You only worked like once or twice, I really don’t care to.19Loathing: “Ramiel?  You’ve returned as well?!”

Ramiel: “From the back of Happiness’s little tight little back pockets I have!  I am free to t-pose upon your floor once more!”20Loathing: “And you have brought us some eggs!  You’re so thoughtful.  I shall make omelets with these?  Would you like one?  Don’t say yes because there’s not enough here for more than one.”

Ramiel: “Please no, I battled long and hard for them in divorce court…”21Euphoria: “But Ramiel wants US to take care of these eggs and raise them to hatch?”

Pain: “Personally I’d be down for some sunny side up, if Loathing hadn’t called dibs.”

Horror: “Well Loathing got spooked and fled into the chicken coop because he saw Betel from the window so I say they’re free game once again.”22Pain: “Gotta run to the store for some salt and bu… Euphie don’t.  I know you’re about to, fucking don’t you DARE”23Euphoria: *Gently wafts away fart*

Pain: “OMFG YOU NASTY ASS HOE!!  DO YOU NEED AN ENEMA FOR THAT SEWAGE BUILDUP IN YOUR ASS OR SOMETHING?!”24In the end, if anyone could be an influence on these eggs the most it would be Truth, who picked here to sing her songs to her IF while they incubated.

Truth: “But I just wanted to sing the Annoying Song to Strep Throat for a few hours.”

Of course!  It’ll influence them to hatch and get the hell up out of here.25I’m out of here.  And it turns out, today one of our special kids are coming home from boarding school tonight!!26Courage: “Mom and mom?!  I’m home!!”

Courage is back from military school, and his new trait IS……………………….. brave.

Which is, while wonderfully coincidental given his name and all, not Good as I hoped.27Courage: “Mom, don’t you do it, don’t you look at me, I don’t trust that look in your eye, I just GOT here…”28Euphoria: “What are you talking about, sweetheart?! My boy, he is home!!  Me and your mother have missed you oh so dearly!”

Courage: “It’s good to be home mother.”29Euphoria: “Yes well while that’s said don’t bother unpacking your bags-”

Courage: “I KNEW IT-”

Euphoria: “-because the beds don’t work anymore so you’ll be camping out in your sleeping bag anyway-”

Courage: “Oh.”

Euphoria: “-Also you’re going back to military school first thing in the morning because I feel you still have much to learn.”

Courage: “I KNEW IT!!!!”30Euphoria: “My beautiful son, all grown up and off to destroy people, sob, :)”

Truth: “Lupah la kasee mupah laaab

Horror: “Fuckin STOP, Truth, that horrible stupid song is what’s ruined everything about our world!!”31Anyway egg hatch time.

Red fire boy is Abaddon, and his not quite awake purple brother is Zerachiel.32Awwww, the little fire dragons breath little fires when they’re sleeping!  That’s actually really cute.

Crystal: *about one sneeze away from losing all that shit*33Malice: “Sooo…. do you really think that’s doing you any good, Betel?”

Betel: “Why you ask?”

Malice: “Dunno.  The food plopping down on the floor compelled me to ask.”34Courage: “A SK-SK-SKELETON?!  OH GOD NO!! THE ARMY DIDN’T PREPARE ME FOR THIS MESS!!”

B… brave trait?!  BRAVE TRAIT, COURAGE?????  What, is it BOOTLEG or something????35Courage: “Ok I’m good, I no longer have the spookies.  So uh.  What’cha doing to the fridge, Mr. Judd, sir?”

Judd: “Hehe, totally not rigging it to dick up very soon, forcing the family to spend unnecessary money on getting a new one, no way I’d ever do that, not a snowflake’s chance in hell would I ever…”36Justice: “Psst, that’s exactly what he’s doing, Courage.  I overheard his entire scheme from over here.”

Judd: “Ugh, fucking ratted.”



Reynaldo: “But I just wanted some mustard…”39And then Pain and Judd took Courage out on a night on the town, since this is one of his only days of freedom as a youngin’ before military school whisks him away once more, and since we’re all heading for the water, you know where this is GOING40Pain: “Oh hell yeah it’s going straight into my bro’s pants is where it’s going~”

Judd: “Not yet Pain, not until we get to the stripper bitches!”41Oh and Crystal can tag along too.  Stir crazy is such a loser moodlet.

Crystal: “A stage?  Is this a talent show, because I’m a whole chorus of unchecked talent~”

Not that kind of talent, dear.42Judd: “Nice. Your daughter’s already got the pants off and already in the right direction for this evening.  I questioned your homeschooling methods but looks like she’s on the correct path for her life and everything!”

Crystal: “My daughter, a stripper?!  I shudder to think of it!  How could I as a single mother even look at this career choice with pride and honor?!”

Judd: “Don’t worry, when she rakes in those BIG bucks you won’t be worried about those things anymore.”43Kay: “Ok apparently mom can’t even hear me routefailing to get out of my way so I’m just going to chill right here on the corner.  Don’t worry, I got them Steel Glutes, so who needs a chair?”

With muscle control like that maybe a career on a pole might work for you in the future after all.44Crystal: “How did I get up here again”

Jackie: “Oh you guys are here too?!  That actually brings back memories.  I remember when I met your mother here, Kay.  She really knew how to twirl on that pole all night long in her youth.  Dang.  I ruined many a sock to her routines in my day.”

Kay: “And with that I’m getting a drink.”45Crystal: “Man, the Hustle is harder than I remember it being.”

You just need taller stilettos.  I’ll make a note to download more sometime soon.46Courage: “Hey sis!  Am I doing it right?  Am I a dancer yet?”

Kay: “Um.  I’ll be honest with you, Courage.  Just stick to the military career.”47Anyway.  Hi kids.  I love it when you guys are hanging out and having fun with each other.  But I know for fact that when you get too cold out in the weather, you get the CPS called on us so can you guys fuckin NOT48Euphoria: “Bam.  I am here, to round you guys up.  Let’s goooooo.”

Famine: “Damn.  She really is all about ruining our fun.”49Euphoria: “The FUDGE?  I told you guys to come on and let’s GO, not ROTATE POSITIONS in the SNOW!  What are you guys DOING?!”

War: “But mom, me sleepy”

Euphoria: “Yeah and you’ll be sleeping a long time if you keep this up, now come ON”50Famine: “Hm.  I just realized something.  There is a SKELETONAAAAAAAAH”

Horror: “Like, I was tired, but now I’m also tired, but like, tired of this shit.”

War: “Agreed.”51Horror: “Actually no I’m also AAAAH BONES, SCARY, SPOOK, RUN AWAY, AAAHHH”

Betel: “Is it my large bush”

I realized that Courage, Horror, and Famine, while they don’t have the coward trait, they do share the neurotic trait.  Which if this is what’s causing it, it’s good to know, but this is getting annoying REAL fast.52Famine: “While the skeleton is scary and all, I will admit, the cat turning into a skeleton is even worse, and way sadder than I expected it would be.”

Belial: “LEFT FOOT LEFT STOMP”53Death: “No time for the Cha Cha, my dude.  We are off to see your brothers and sisters in Cat Heaven.  I call it Caaven.”

Belial: “FUCK”

What really SUCKS about Belial dying is I JUST checked his age.  He’s 99 days old.  NINETY NINE.  I was so close to having a centenarian cat but NOooOooOOOO

GAME SAID NOooOooOOOO54RIP Belial.  OLDEST FUCKING CAT I’VE EVER SEEN, the fact that he was short a few hours of being 100 days old actually kind of pisses me off, but alas, being 99 was amazing to begin with.55Two fucking days of this hoe mess now.

Death: “Wow, that really is annoying as shit.”56Kay: “If cat live long time, me live longer?  Me people, me live forever if math add up.”

Death: “Yeah, that homeschooling really isn’t doing anything for you.  Also if you don’t pop that eyeball back in place I’ll be visiting you next week.”57Courage: “DEATH!  My old buddy, remember me?  It’s Courage!  We hung out in the trenches for weeks at a time working in the army, remember?”

Death: “Oh man!  Good times, my dude!  I got so much work done hanging around you!  Thanks for all the good times, man.”

Euphoria: “Hurrm… my son making friends with death at military academy?  Maybe sending him back was a bad idea after all…”58Kay: “That death figure was very peculiar.  I wonder when the next time I’ll see him again.”

Soon if you idiots don’t figure out what a ribcage is.59War: “Oh well dead cat WEEEEE TO MEEEE I TURN THIRTEEEEEEE…N.”

Triplet time.60Ok whatever to War apparently I took pics of Pestilence growing up first?61Or, I would have, if HORROR WOULDN’T BE TRYING TO FREEZE TO DEATH BACK THERE



Horror: “But I did it because I miss Belial so much… he would want me to freeze to death…”

Well… true he probably would have.63Pestilence: “Belial would have also wanted you to freeze to death too, to be honest.  I’ll honor his memory and make sure I finish the job.”64Judd: “Great, I’ll just go back to sleeping with my eyes open for a while :)”65Back to the birthdays at hand, here’s Pestilence, who, do to his “indifferent study habits”, he’s now a genius, because that’s how that happens.66War on the other hand has now evolved to being my favorite of the three, coming out looking pretty badass if I do say so.

War: “I have come to the conclusion that Horror is right and there’s nothing perfect about the world at all.  Everything sucks.  I will now join her in sleeping in the snow until my fingers freeze off.”

She is also a perfectionist now.67And Famine who almost got unnoticed is now a bookworm.  Still care for him.  Still care for all three of them.

But they are now out of the running due to their older evil siblings reaching adulthood first before they have any more chances at evilness.68Ah well.

THEY can sleep out in the snow now.  CPS doesn’t give a shit about them now.

Famine: *Will have to be thawed out in May*