Archive | December 2012

The Puzzle Box

It’s almost Christmas and stuff, so here’s an almost-Christmas update!  Happy almost-Christmas!

1Last chapter, Eunice went into labor!  She gave birth to our little baby Jealous!  She is brave and evil, and because of that latter trait she is instantly heiress unless a future sibling rolls evil as well before her young adult birthday.  Her favorites are blue, roots music, and stu surprise.

2Angela: “I am home from the spa, my dearies!  I am also in labor.  Can I have a hand over here?”

Liam: “Oh ok… wait… OH”

3

Liam was so suddenly shocked by his wife going into labor that jumped out of his chair so fast he flew through the couch.

Angela: “Oh…  and it was a brand new couch too.”

Liam: “I am SO sorry dear D:”
4Liam: “OH GOD WHAT DO WE DO WHAT DO WE DO WHAT DO WE DO”

Angela: “It’s fine dear!  You start the car… er, the motorcycle rather, take me to the hospital, and we have this baby-”

5Evalin: “WHAT’S ALL THIS FUCKING SQUEALING ABOUT IN HERE ANGELA, SHUT THE HELL UP”

Angela: “WAS I BEING THAT LOUD, I THOUGHT I WAS USING MY INSIDE VOICE, OH DEAR”

6Evalin: “You, be useful and do something about the new mouth that’s being added to the household this very moment, will you?”

Liam: “I will, but first I must see the other new mouth in the house your wife had this morning!”

Evalin: “My wife had a baby?”

7Liam: “Eunice sure did, and she’s adorable!  Even if she keeps hissing at me and flipping the bird… who’s an adorably scary little baby, you are, Jealousy!”

Evalin: “Why was I not informed that my spawn had finally dropped?!  Angela, tell your beanpole husband to move away from my spawn before I break his fingers off.”

Angela: “NOT RIGHT NOW, THERE’S A BABY STILL COMING OUT OF ME GUYS”

8Eunice: “I am back from whatever rock I usually stay under when I’m not on the trampoline.  Mm.  Trampoline.  I’ll be in the back yard guys.”

Angela: “GUYS THERE’S STILL A BABY IN ME, HELP”

9Angela: “Ok, you may now go back to what you were doing.  My newest son is here!”

This is Kindness’ little brother, Happiness!  He’s artistic and easily impressed.  Favorites include aqua, songwriter music (? what is that? That’s a genre?), and he likes cheesesteak, not vegetarian, because I don’t think they make it vegetarian.  KINDNESS.

10

There’s still not enough for their own nursery, so his new crib is added to Angela’s room, right next to his big brother’s and next to his aunt’s almost immovable pallet on the floor.

Wait.

That’s not Happiness.

Jealousy: “Meh heh heh… you won’t have to worry about Happiness anytime soon…”

11Evalin: “Lame, shut your brat up!  It’s scaring my perfect heir into a murderous rage!  I won’t control my Jealously if she goes on a rampage, I’m giving you a fair warning now!”

Liam: “I’ll take that into consideration, Evalin.  You know.  If you tell me where you put my other son.”

12Angela: “It was nice of Evalin to bring our little Happiness back, even if we had to exchange Kindness for him for now…”

Liam: “Oh don’t worry… Eunice knows where Kindness is stashed and is watching him this very moment!”

Angela: “Uh, dear?  Eunice is on the trampoline…”

13Angela: “Eh, I was wondering Liam… you wouldn’t happen to be sleepwalking, are you?”

Liam: “I have no clue what you are talking about.”

Angela: “Oh ok then, never mind.  What would you want for dinner tonight then, dear?”

Liam: “ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ”

15Eunice: “Flipping off the trampoline, LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING BOSS”

16Eunice: “100% awesome badass, yes the hell I am!”

You are getting way too good at that, dear.

Hold on, what the crap is that?

17Why is there a bat hanging out from underneath the trampoline?

Bat: “I think trampolines came with Ambitions, right?  I was probably an Easter egg to the “upcoming” vampires in Late Night.”

That is probably it.

18Evalin: “Alright, wife.  I require a backup child, in case my first perfect child meets her demise at the other end of the Justice League or something.”

Eunice: “But… when I’m pregnant, I don’t get to jump…”

19Evalin: “Have my spawn or the next time you step foot on that trampoline, I’m setting fire to it, Theorized Easter Egg Bat and all.”

Eunice: “Alright then, deal!  Pregnancy is starting to sound fine with me!”

20Angela: “Time for a birthday, Happiness goes first!”

Not if you are smothering him with your armpit like that.

21Happiness: “Hewwwwwo!  Am I sweet?”

Yes, you are a nice baby.

22

MOVING ALONG, it’s another birthday tonight!  Yaaaay!

Eunice: “Why am I here.  This isn’t fair.  Trampy is cold and still tonight, and I’m in here with Jenny and cake.”

Jealously: “That’s not my name, mother.  Now get your titty out of my eye.”

23Liam: “And also, it’s my birthday as well!”

Seraph: “RAWK!  NO ONE CARES, NO ONE CARES!  RAWK!”

24Jealousy: “I am now out of that infernal swaddling cloth, I can now set forth on my plot for world destruction!  And I shall harness the energy of these little sparkles to power my volcano activating machine!”

She’s… interesting…

25Kindness: “Aw cousin!  Would you like to join me in a game of blockies? I have pwenty of little blockies to share with you!”

Jealously: “Jam it in your diaper, loser.  I’m gonna go pway wid something else that doesn’t involve me looking at your stupid face!”

26Happiness: “This slop peaks my intrest!”

27Kindness: “Oh Jealously!  Would you like to come and pway wid me?  I have pwenty of toys I can share with you, and we will have a wonderful old time!”

Jealously: “Shove it, Kindness!  Seriously, looking at your stupid face is really pissing me off!  I don’t want to hear it!”

28Jealousy: “Humph, that stupid Kindness and his stupid… kindness.  If I smack him in the face hard enough with this, I wonder if that will take care of my problem.”

As long as it makes you creative, that’s fine.

29Evalin: “Come to me, child.  We got to teach you to walk.  You can’t take over this planet crawling around on your hands and knees forever.”

30Jealousy: “GRAH!  I HATE doing what you want me to!  Humph!  Grumble grumble.”

Evalin: “Ah yes, my angry little hellspawn.  Heh heh heh…”

31Angela: “Learning to do poopies, that’s what you do~  sit, sit, poop poop, learning to make poo~

Happiness: “I’m getting pretty tired of that song, mother…”

Angela: “Sigh, so am I, son.  So am I.”

Jealously: “And I’ll throw both of you off a cliff if you sing it again.  Look, I’m already done learning to poop.  Now someone, anyone, make me a damn sandwich already.”

32Kindness: “Hey, Jeeeeaaallloooussssyyyyy… come, get in the box with me!  I’m pretended to be an astronaut!  Quickly, we are going to space to find the Friendshiponites!  They are the locals of Planet Smilesalot!”

33Jealously: “Dammit, FUCK OFF ALREADY, KINDNESS!  Can’t you see I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU!?  GOD!  I’m busy playing with myself, and I LIKE playing with myself and myself ONLY!  Now if you don’t mind, I’m busy trying to get this block in this…whua?”

34Jealously: “DAMMIT, IT HAPPENED AGAIN!  WHERE THE HELL DID THE PUZZLE BOX GO?!  GAAAAAAH!”

…Maybe she does need a playmate.

35Evalin: “after all the skilling me and you have done and you go and do stupid shit like this.  At this rate, are you even the heir I so rightfully deserve?”

Jealousy: “Are you going to help me find the damn box or not, woman?”

Evalin: “I suppose I have no choice.”

36Evalin: “Look stupid, the box is right behind you!  Will you turn around already?!  It’s the damn thing you are leaning against for fuck’s sake!”

37Evalin: “Yeah, that’s right, dumbass.  Just jam the block in my leg, that’s going to get you the puzzle box, alright.”

Jealousy: “WELL I AM OUT OF OPTIONS, HELP ME WOMAN”

38Evalin: “Screw this, I don’t have time to deal with my dumb baby.  I have another one in the works and hopefully it won’t be broken like this one.”

It wouldn’t be broken if you don’t jam your elbow through her head, Evalin.

Jealousy: “OW!  My brain have no feel anymore? Rock potato cream butt.  Limes?”

39Angela: “My son!  I’ve become a middle aged woman!  And I have no regrets with my life!  *No mid-life crisis, woo*”

Happiness: “WAH!  I can’t eat sparkles!  Help!  I’m going blind now, oh twigs!”

40Evalin: “Congratulations!  You are now married to an old biddy!  Party hard, Lame!”

Liam: *Is actually purposely drowned hidden cleverly in a champagning*

41Eunice: “I feel another baby in my belly!  Sounds like Jealously is getting a baby brother or sister!”

Seraph: “SQAAUUAAAUAK!  Oh I just crapped a lot of my body weight off.  I’m scared.”

It’s going to be alright, little bird.

42Evalin: “Come, my sister.  It’s time to show you what I have influenced at work.  You have been gone so long that I have advanced far into my career!  Behold, as I am ahead of you at level 4!”

Angela: “Well yes, but I’m also level 4 sister!  I can’t remember if it was before or soon after my maternity leave, but I got a promotion too!  Isn’t that something.”

Evalin: “Stay away from my podium or I won’t have a problem making you “disappear”, sister.”

43With all the others out of the house working, Eunice is left home alone.  Uncontrollable.  With all three of the toddlers.

Eunice: “You say that like you think I can’t do it.”

Well we are about to find out, aren’t we?

44Angela: “Eeehhh, I have no faith in this situation at all, and I’m the faithful one.”

Angela was hardly at work half an hour, and cut out work early just to go home.  It’s strange though, because she’s still supposed to be at work at the same time as Evalin, she’s still working, and Angela isn’t scheduled until the next day.  I suppose work is just as worried for all those babies as much as she is.

45Eunice: “My love, you are getting older, Evalin!  Welcome to adulthood!”

Evalin: “What is this?!  Getting OLD?!  I do NOT get old, this is BLASPHEMY!”

And of course.  Mid-life crisis.

46Angela: “How much you want to bet there’s going to be a divorce in Auntie Evalin’s case real soon?”

Happiness: “Wow, mother.  You’d bet on your own sister and her wife’s happiness like that?  Hee hee… happiness.  That’s me.”

Kindness: “So long as we still get to live together in the same house together!  I love my family, and my cousin-”

Jealousy: “SHUT UP KINDNESS, UGGHH”

47Sure enough, later that night:

Evalin: “Look, I know I’m married and all that, but I’ve been hunting you all over town, dude.  I don’t remember your name, but I need to flirt with someone other than that baby oven of mine in that house.”

Please, flirt and get it over with, Evalin.  Oh jeez.

48Liam: “Eunice makes this look so easy!  What is this sorcery?!  OH NO, I’M GONNA-”

49Liam: “DIIIIE UGHAGSKJDLN”

Maybe his back isn’t broken.  Who knows.

50Liam: “Help… call a doctor… mmmphn…”

Theorized Easter Egg Bat:  “HAHAHAH, you broke like a bitch.”

51This is the end of this chapter.  And we end it with proof that Evalin and Eunice aren’t the evilest parents in town.

Until they make their babies move all their stuff for them to a new house, I think they are great parents in comparison.

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The Kindness of Evalin and Eunice

Howdy doodly, neighbor!  We are back in the Fallen’s household, where last chapter Angela and Liam had a little baby boy and Evalin married in Eunice, her BFF and soon-to-be baby maker.

1If she’d ever get off this trampoline.  The instant she moved in, she took a liking to it and has rarely come off of it since then.

2Anyway, let’s introduce the first baby, shall we!  I’ve decided to go with a naming theme that involves the actions and attributes of good people (and of course, bad people).

For Liam’s and Angela’s first baby, this is baby Kindness, and he is absent minded and a light sleeper (I’m going to go ahead and say that I hate this combination for reasons).  His favorites are R&B, yellow, and he likes to eat vegetarian salmon… wait, vegetarian salmon?  Is that even a thing?!

Evalin: “Well if he’s not going to be a carnivore like a real man, then he doesn’t need this…”

Evalin, don’t you dare…

3Evalin: “Welcome to the Fallen household, little boy.  Because you are going to have to put up with me for a long, long time.”

Kindness: “LE WAH”

4Angela: “Guess what?!  You are a father!  CONGRATULATIONS *gettin da bubbly*”

Liam: “No babe stop, I don’t want go get crunk before going in to work!”

Ok Angela, I’m starting to question your sobriety already, dear.

5Eunice: “Hey look at what I figured out I can do all by myself!

Eunice, no.  Please no.  The children are going to use that when they get older.

6Evalin seemed to develop a close attachment to Kindness ever since he was brought into the house.  Since Eunice moved in, they were able to afford their own room and a really nice bed for both of them, but when Kindness was born, Evalin has gone back to sleeping in her sleeping back at the foot of his crib.  She did this at least three nights in a row.

You’d think this was sweet and protective of the child, if you know for a fact that she just wasn’t after his lollipops.

7DAMMIT EUNICE

SPEAKING OF BEDS, GET OFF OF THAT THING AND GO TO SLEEP

8Evalin: “I actually kinda like this fleshsack offspring of my sister’s.  I don’t know why, but I feel… materialistic towards it.”

The word you are probably looking for is maternal, Evalin.

Evalin: “No, I think I meant materialistic.  I could use one of these, it would make a great accessory.  Accessory babies are popular these days, right?”

Um…

9Angela: “So Bert, from an non-desperate, happily married woman with a curious question that in no means states that I am interested in you romantically, what is your zodiac sign?”

Bert: “OH GOD A WOMAN NOTICED ME AND SHE’S TALKING TO ME!  OH CRAP, HERE COMES THE ERECTION”

Evalin’s at home taking care of your baby and you are out here rolling wants like this Angela?  I’m starting to wonder who’s the good one around here.

10Evalin: “I was told to come out and help convince Adele to believe that technology isn’t all that bad.  How should I go about doing this, I wonder…”

Tell her that our current use of today’s technology makes our lives easier, better, allows us to live longer and aids us in health and finances?

Evalin: “I got a better idea.”

11Evalin: “YOU ACCEPT TECHNOLOGY INTO YOUR HEART OR SO HELP ME I WILL SHOVE TWO IPADS UP YOUR ASS.  AND NOT THE MINI IPADS EITHER, I’M TALKING ABOUT THE FIRST FAT BULKY ONES”

Adele: “WELL I NEVER”

And then they became friends shortly after C:

12Eunice: “Oh lord baby… I’ve been thinking about you all night last night and I want you so hard right now *rubs hips*”

Eunice, your obsession with the trampoline is borderline creepy now.

13Ria: “There, I brought the pizza on time this time *plops it down on the ground* I better fucking get a good tip for this.”

Seriously, screw this bitch.  Where’s Ken Woodard when I need him?

14Evalin: “I set the pizza girl on fire and brought in our mushroom and cheese pizza!  Anyone want to dig in?!”

Peter: “Nah, I’m not in the mood for your generous pizza and cake?  You got anything in the fridge?!”

Evalin: “No, but I want to stab you.”

15Evalin: “Wait, why am I growing up the little crap maker?”

Eunice: “Because he loves you the most!  It doesn’t matter how many times you stole his candy, you are his favorite nonetheless!  Yay!”

Evalin: “Fuck.”

Sadly this is true.  I think Angela wished to pick him up once and that was it for her…

16So far cute, a little early to tell who he favors more of at the moment though… But there he is, our little Kindness.

17Astrid: “Humph, they say that our step-sister is supposed to be the little Cinderella princess wannabe ho!  I can be just as dainty and elegant as that skank!  Look, even nature sides with me!”

Deer: “What”

Astrid: “Behold, as I walk with the animals in my beauty and grace!”

18Astrid: *Plods around the yard like the heavily pregnant broad she is*

Deer: “Yeah, I’m just gonna leave now… laters.”

Ella: “I see.”

19Evalin: “About time someone managed to keep you off of the trampoline long enough for you to find the bedroom with me!  Human conception device!  Shall we make a baby before my sister’s kid gets so old that he ends up taking over both mine and my sister’s estate single-handedly?”

Eunice: “Sure!  When we have this kid, can I name him Trampoline?”

Evalin: “Hahaha!  No, stupid.”

20While sudden sexy Marvin Gaye started blasting from behind Evalin’s and Eunice’s bedroom door, this crap is going on in the kitchen.

Gabriella: He denied me!  How can the neighborhood player loser deny me?!”

21Gabriella: “Fine, I shall try again!  This time they are purple flowers!  Look, Liam!  Purple~

Liam: “I’m sorry ma’am, but I just told you!  I am married!  I’ve taken myself off the market!  All my past “relationships” are over, I’m loyal to Angela now!  Maybe one day you will find your true love, but it can’t be me!”

Catarina: “Liam has really grown up.  So noble and loyal.  I wonder what his sign is?”

Where is Angela ever when she’s needed?

22She’s being serenaded to sleep.  Or something.

Astrid: “A good princess like me would be good at music!  That’s how those Disney bitches get those Official deals!  I’m Snow fucking White over here, I ain’t no Kida *twangs on guitar*”

Kindness: “Hee hee, Aunt Eunice’s sissy is crazier than you, Mr. Booger!”

23Eunice: “Hee hee, isn’t this fun!  I find this fitting punishment for catching you snooping around my wife’s brother-in-law’s bedside area!”

Gabriella: “I find it hardly fair that you got a brick in your pil-*broken jaw*”

Liam: “Guys, as much fun as I’m sure you are having, I just put the baby to bed, guys!  Hello?”

24Liam: “Is there any way you can stop your wife from pummeling the house guests though pillow death matches in our bedroom in front of my son?  I don’t want him traumatized.”

Evalin: “Look Lame.  I’m trying to take care of this nasty toilet by scraping my explosive diarrhea off with a hammer.  I don’t have time to maintain where the Eunice woman does her hobbies.”

Liam: “But I want to go to sleeeeep…”

25Eunice: “I may not have won Prince Sebastian’s hand in marriage, but I am a pretty happy wife, and I look forward to being a mother.”

Baby number two on the way, first baby for the evil side!

26And also, Liam is the first sim to pee himself in this legacy.  THANKS A LOT LIAM.  You put the first blemish on our flawless winning streak!

Liam: “No problamo!  Ugh, this is making my socks all wet.”

GROSS, GET AWAY FROM ME

27Angela: “I’m so happy I put a lot of money down on getting a pet bird for the bird cage I wanted, because now I’m pregnant with a new child!”

You are a master at thinking ahead, Angela.

28Evalin: “Haha, you really are a cool little brat!  Maybe one day when your father is destroyed in a freak imported-polar-bear mauling, I will take you under my wing, teach you everything I know, and you will rule my domain for decades to come.”

Kindness: “Loving Auntie Evawin!  Best Auntie evah!”

Liam: *Sniff* “And all I wanted to do was adopt a unicorn…”

29Angela: “So happy to be married and I live a great life!  Seraph, I have the best husband and children ever!”

Seraph: “RAWK!  HUBBY DO ALL THE HOUSEWORK!  RAWK!  SISTER RAISES YOUR TODDLER!  RAWK!”

Angela: “Hmm, someone must be hungry! :D”

30The other happy couple of the house went to the local library because Evalin wanted to actually read a book on pregnancy.

Evalin: “Sure as hell glad you are doing that birthing mess instead of me, Eunice.  This book says that you’re going to give birth to a placenta membrane with blood vessels as thick as a man’s thumb!  I do think that sounds exciting though!”

Eunice: “Really not giving a shit over here, this 50 Shades of Grey book is making me hot.”

Evalin: “Everything makes you hot, you disgusting freak.”

Eunice: “I really hate you.”

Evalin: “And that’s why our marriage works.”

31Evalin: “Anyway, I’m off to work to pay for your microwavable pizza rolls and trampoline lessons.  Someone around here has to actually work for a living, and it sure isn’t you, my pregnant sister, or Lame ass back home.”

Eunice: “But… you’re my ride home.”

Evalin: “Well it looks like you are walking, lady.  Later.”

32Angela: “Hm, such a lovely day, with the eternal Season-less sun shining, our vibrant green yard expressing it’s natural beauty and happiness… that white horse is back in the yard…”

Whitey: “HEEEEEEY~”

Angela: “It’s a good day to invite a friend over and hang out for a while!”

33Angela: “Renauld, so good you can come over!  I wanted to invite you over to play hop-scotch with you, but then I remembered that I’m pregnant, so it might have to wait!”

Renauld: “That’s a good idea.  Because I need a new hip replacement, not a good idea to hobble around on a hop-scotch mat, really.”

Newspaper brat: “We don’t need your sunshine and happiness, Ange-butt!  Go fall in a ditch, you Disney princess wannabe!”

I really got to fire those damn kids.  It’s not like anyone is reading the newspaper in my sims’ homes anymore anyway.

34Eunice: “HUMPH!  I’ll show Evalin who’s boss!  I won’t go home!  I’ll stay on this damn lot forever, and just gaze at myself in the mirror!  That will surely tell her off!  If she wants her damn spawn so bad, she will have to just come and get me.  Because I am not going back to that house by walking, I can sure tell you that!”

Please don’t be hard-headed with me, woman.

35Angela: “See that, Seraph?  That’s my son!  I created that!  Isn’t he the most precious thing in the world?  Anyway, time to go, we got a lot of other things I just have to show you!”

Kindness: “That’s cool, dad just put me to sleep, I didn’t really need my mother’s affections at the moment anyway…”

36Eunice: “Ah HAH!  I actually managed to make it back home all by myself!  Congratulate me, Kindness!  For I only yelled and kicked two girl scouts and one cat on my way back to the house!”

Kindness: “Well I suppose that’s a good thing, since someone had to change my diaper, and seeing as my parents couldn’t be bothered with it… I am happy you are back, Auntie Eunice!”

Eunice and Evalin really like this kid, I swear.

37Sometimes a little too much.

Angela: “We going to be good parents now?”

Eunice: “Oh heeeeellllll no.  I just put him to sleep and there is no way you are getting in between me or this crib and waking this kid up!”

Liam: “But, I’m his actual father D:”

38Eunice: “And WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!  You better get away from this baby or I’ll rip your nuts off *full on Pitbull Mode*”

Renauld: “I just wanted to come and say goodnight to everyone, sigh…”

39Eunice: “I warned you, asshole!  No more Mr. Nice Eunice! *proceeds to rip balls off*”

Renauld: “Nooo!  Please stop, I need those!”

Liam: “Thank goodness Kindness is asleep.  Because I’m traumatized already.”

40Eunice: *Proceeds to rip heart out and laugh maniacally*

Renauld: “I could have just stayed home and stared at the toaster oven all day, but nooo, my wife said I needed to get out and make friends…”

Liam: “Oh, you are awake!  Let’s go see if Sesame Street is on tv before it gets nasty in here.”

41In the end, Eunice, successfully chasing off the elder male and claiming dominance in her territory, proceeded to stake claim of the youngest member of the pack’s food.

Eunice: “NOM NOM NOM LOLLY”

Kindness: “LE WAH”

42Evalin is clearly in the lead at work, and with her latest promotion she can finally afford a decent outfit and shoes.

Evalin: “Yeah, the boss said he’d let me go if I didn’t stop coming in like a homeless gold digger.  The only reason I didn’t just punch him in the jaw was because I was promised a higher place than my sister.”

Well if that’s not incentive then I don’t know what is.

43Meanwhile Angela was spending a crap ton of money at the spa like she wanted to.  She just loves spending money we really don’t have.

Liam was also at work as well.  And where was Eunice?

44

Eunice: “GAAAAUUGH, IF I KNEW CHILDBIRTH WOULD HAVE BEEN PAINFUL, I WOULD HAVE KIDNAPPED A CHILD FROM THE HOSPITAL ADOPTION, UUGH”

Looks like another child is on it’s way!

45Kindness: “Auntie Eunice is about to expwode!  Come get me when it’s ovah.  I’ll be in my bomb shelter, kthxbai.”

Lame and the Trampoline Tramp

I’m jacked!  Who’s excited for exams!  OH WAIT, no one.  That’s right.

1Angela: “And then I said, that’s not my cousin, that’s my horse!”

Ryan: “JESUS, why is this building on this community lot so colorfully BLINDING?!”

Last chapter was Angela’s bachelorette party, and then she and Liam got married the next day down by the bay

Where the watermelon jack-o-lanterns grow

2Angela: “Hey Liam, you can’t come into the little girl’s room with me!  But while you are here: congratulations!  You are no longer a bachelor!”

Liam: “Why do you keep doing that, Angela?  Nooo-”

3Liam: “Oh lord, it’s cold, PLEASE tell me you didn’t refill this in the toilet D:”

Angela: “Pee jokes were last chapter, Liam.”

I don’t know why I can still do this with Angela.  Strangely enough, this interaction is only available for anyone who talks to Liam, so apparently he’s the one that’s bugged.

Speaking of the little bug, let’s introduce him a bit:

4Liam: “Uh oh.  Who wished for a toy?  Is there something I don’t know yet?”

Probably.  Liam is a good hearted nerd, and yet since he’s a hopeless romantic, he’s a borderline whore.  And yet, since he’s never nude, you won’t see him with his pants off, which I think is an awkward combination of traits.  Good job EA.  He’s the most sexually repressed dork in the video game world.

I forgot his LTW but it doesn’t matter, now that he’s in the house, he’s on his own.  So welcome Liam to the household: one of the most recognizable faces in the sims 3 universe, his flaming red hair, and owner of the most scawniest little bird legs this side of CyclOn3 SwOrd.

Liam: “Who, CyclOn3?  We used to play WoW together.  Good times.”

5Eunice: “Oh Evalin!  I was just thinking about you… Look, I was wondering, about all that happened at the party the other night.  I got drunk and you got drunk and one thing lead to another… that didn’t mean anything to you… did it?”

6Evalin: “What with the kissing and your tongue down my throat and all that shit?”

Eunice: “Uh… yeah, all that…”

7Evalin: “Wow, you really are stupid.  All that fat fill in that cavity you call a skull?  Because that’s not a brain, Eunice.”

8Eunice: “WELL I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO INSULTED IN MY LIFE.”

Evalin: “Haha!  It’s so much fun to torment you, little tubby girl.  It’s such a freaking turn on for me…”

9Well then.

What a strange turn of events.

10Please tell me you haven’t just been standing here all day long since I left you on this lot this morning.

Angela: “The view is just so beautiful from inside this cheerful little room.  Oh… I can just see our little cozy home over the hill from here… with it’s fridge and bed that I so long for…”

I get it, you are stupid, let’s get you home, Angela.

11Angela: “Oh!  I am with child!  This is the most glorious day of my life on Earth!  Who knew that me and the love of my life could bring a being into the world…”

And yet, my first concern is how bad your B.O. is against that dark wall.  Holy crap.

12Evalin: “Bitch, I’m on my way out to make dat cash.  You better watch your shit and take care of my sister while I’m out, Stupid.”

Liam: “You don’t worry a thing about me!  I got this!  I can watch my wife, and look, I’m even cleaning up the house!  I will be the best husband ever!”

Evalin: “Ugh, I just want to tie you to a cinder block and throw you in the bay.”

13What’s this?!  Flirting?   Friskiness?!

Liam: “Oh, my sweet wifey boo boo baby!  So cute and you’re motherly glow makes you just adorable!”

Angela: “Oh, you are so sweet Liam!”

14Jeez guys, for the “good innocent” ones in the legacy, you two are going to end up getting it on like rabbits all the time, aren’t you?

Angela:  “Hmmm… all this considered, I really really want to get a trampoline now…”

REALLY

15Evalin: “Hmm… for some reason, I really want to get a trampoline too…”

At the same time, go figure, you two.

16Evalin: “If I got a trampoline, will you be my tramp on it?”

Eunice: “I… don’t know how to respond to that.”

Evalin: “It is a yes or no question, you idiot.  Yes or no.”

17Evalin: “I’ve been thinking, fat Eunice girl.  I don’t like my sister outdoing me, and she’s married now with a kid.  Will you be mine and birth my human monstrosities as well?”

Eunice: “What the crap kind of question was that, you psycho fre- ooooh, are these roses?  I like roses.”

Evalin: “Sure as hell are, I suppose!  I stole them out of Lame O’Dork’s inventory,  I guess he would have just given them to my constantly swooning sister anyway.  If they are enough to tide her over, then it should be plenty to win you over as well.”

18Evalin: “Also here, this as well.”

Eunice: “HOLY SHIT, AN ENGAGEMENT RING?!”

Evalin: “Yeah, something something, about my stupid sister’s obsession with penguins.  I also stole this from her Lame husband.  He was just wearing on his finger anyway, so he wasn’t going to use it, here.”

19Eunice: “This is a nice ring, I love… oh, the little sparkle it had went away…”

Evalin: “Well the son of a bitch better come back, or I will hunt down that sparkle’s family and kill every one it loves.”

20Eunice: “It worked!  Your violent threats against inanimate objects brought the sparkle back!  You are a mad genius!”

Evalin: “Was it not suppose to?”

Eunice: “You are just pure evil, Evalin!  Of course I will marry you!”

Evalin: “Yeah yeah, whatevers.  Let’s get this over with so I can get this “family” business out of my way.”

21And so, Evalin and Eunice hitched instantly, before Evalin ruined it with a want to be mean to Eunice or something.

Evalin: “Too late!  Heeee, I want to yell at you now :D”

Eunice: “Fuck my life.”

22I made them make up and then they went to the theater to consumate the marriage watch a movie.

Evalin: “THIS BREAKING DAWN SEX SCENE MAKES ME SO HOT”

Eunice: “UNF”

Traumatized deer: “I’M SCARED”

23And now we introduce Eunice, one of Hidden Springs’ “evil stepsisters”, who in my game has found her “prince charming”.  If you can call Evalin charming.  I don’t know, she’s pretty charismatic already.

Now that she’s in the household, good luck, Eunice.  You might need it.

24Eunice: “Nah, I don’t need luck.  I got a trampoline.  Hell yeah.”

And an unlikely friendship was made between these two.

25Evalin: “Hell yeah, I got me a mating partner!  No one believed I could do it, but I got one, and now I will spread my seed and influence throughout this world!  Haha!  Fuck you especially tree, you told me I would be nothing!  I should set you on fire.”

26I had sent them all out to a little kiddie park just for a change of scenery (Eunice didn’t come because she sucks)

Angela: “But I wanted to sit next to my huuuuusbaaaaaand, we are in looooooove”

Evalin: “Yeah, tough shit, Angela.  I was here first.”

Liam: “You sure smell like it.”

Evalin: “Don’t try me, asshole.”

27Liam: *Hearts hearts*

Evalin: “Don’t even fucking think about it, loser.”

Liam: “I’m actually here on a date with my waifu, so don’t even worry about it, Evalin.”

Evalin: “You must really love my sister, don’t you?  Well, I guess that’s a good thing.  Someone has to take care of her when I end up leaving to take over the world.  I think I might just kill you last.”

Liam: “Oh…ok.”

28Angela: “This is lame.  I don’t wanna come all the way to the park to sit alone *sulk*”

29Evalin: “But you BETTER take care of my sister!  I’m serious, Lame!  If I find out you upset her in ANY way, I will hunt you down and DESTROY you!  With dinosaurs!  And lazers!”

Liam: “I’m really hungry now that I think about it…”

30Liam: “Honey, do you have any of that salad you brought with us for a little picnic?”

Evalin: “I ATE IT ALL!  BWA HA HA, I AM A JERK”

Angela: “NOOOO, Evalin!  I was saving that for our date!”

31Evalin: “You know what the best part of this whole pregnancy of yours is?  With you out of my way in office, nothing is going to stop me from over powering your Party and taking over the world!”

Angela: “It’s going to be fine, sis!  All good things will work out in the end!  I think you will be a good leader in the end anyway!”

Evalin: “I could just push you off this swing.”

32Evalin: “Also, Lame!  With my sister not bringing in the money, you better carry your workload and bring home some money.  I will not spend my well earned cash on MY wants!”

Liam: *Tries to ignore Evalin*

33Angela: “I wanted to see that new Breaking Dawn movie, but the theater was closed because of a tragic public indecency a few nights agoOH MY GOODNESS THIS HURTS, SOMEONE CALL MY HUSBAND”

Time for our first baby!!

34And there it is…

And it’s name…

WILL BE REVEALED NEXT CHAPTER BECAUSE I’M A BUTT

BWAHAHA, now I am off to go breed a copy of Liam with CyclOn3, to make the ULTIMATE NERD BABY

*flies away*

The Bachelorette Party

1Cassidy: “Um, it’s picking up our baby, dear… I think you should do something about that.”

Evalin: “Look lady, if you are stupid enough to throw your baby on the ground the second you come into this building don’t expect me to steal it away from an undeserving freak like you.”

Wow, Evalin.  That almost sounds… kind.

2Evalin: “HOLY CRAP!  This is actually kinda cute!  And it’s breath smells like death.  I’ll take it!”

Cassidy: “Honey, call the police.”

Sometimes Evalin acts so out of character, it makes me question why she’s the bad one.  Then she rolls wants involving yelling at random people, and then all is well.

Last chapter involved romantic stuff with Angela and Liam.

3This chapter will also involve romantic stuff with Angela and Liam.

Stuff such as this date, where they went frolicking through the woods, giggling and chasing each other like little school girls.

Angela: “Tee hee, come back here you silly goose!”

Liam: “Gotta catch me first sweetpea!”

It’s so sweet, I’m getting cavities.

4And the continuous automatic romantic gestures are still happening.

Liam: “Marigolds for my sweet daffodil?”

Angela: “Liam, these are beautiful!  I will never get tired of your lovely flowers…”

You know what, I AM tired of the lovely flowers, this is all they have been doing back and forth with each other since they went romantic.

5Angela: “Liam, I got something better than flowers, and I have been wanting to give it to you for a while, Liam…”

Liam: “Oh?  What’s that?”

6Angela: “Liam, I noted a long time ago that people use shiny stones to commemorate their relationship and “seal the deal”, so to speak.  Kinda like penguins!  So Liam, will you accept my shiny pebble, and be my penguin forever?”

Liam: “OH yes!  I would love to marry you Angela!

7Aw

Sparkle sparkle

Now this ISBI can really kick off!

8Across town:

Laila: “-And between us, I have been sneaking prescription drugs and selling them to junkies for extra cash!  Woo!  It’s an exhilarating rush!  Am I a bad ass or am I a bad ass?!”

Evalin: “Oh please.  You’re definition of evil is underhanded, but it’s cheap, boring and pathetic.  You don’t scare me at all, lady.”

9Evalin: “You know why I’M badder than you?  Because I AM the authority, and I don’t have to turn you in to the law.  I can punish you here and how, and make off with your so called hard work!”

Laila: “R-really?  Well whatever, you can’t extort me like that woman!  I don’t care if you are in politics, you don’t have authority over me!”

10Evalin: “It’s trash like you that’s dragging our society to hell!  How dare you question my power, I’ll kick your ass right here and now, Laila!”

Laila: “Whateva, you ain’t gonna do a damn thing and you know it!”

11Evalin: “EVALIN RAGE POWERS ACTIVATE”

12That ass kicking was so quick I hardly had time to document it correctly O__O

Evalin: “That’s more like it!  Respect my authority, heifer!  I AM THE LAW”

13And then they gossiped like school girls for the next ten minutes.  Because that’s what you do when you fight and pumble the hell out of a new nemesis, sure.

14Evalin: “Awww, shit.  I’m dressed nice.  Did Angela finally die or something?”

No, Angela wanted a Bachlorette party, so, we are throwing one right quick.

Evalin: “That bitch better not be wearing the same dress I’m wearing.”

I don’t think she is, dear.

15Liam: “INSTANT WET T-SHIRT”

Ella: “Nooo, stop, I’m not the dancers, Liam!”

Liam: “But I thought we were getting Disney Princess themed strippers…”

In what world would make you think that?!

16Evalin: “That looks like fun!  Here Eunice, have some champagne!”

Eunice: “Awww yeah… wait, did you pee in this?!”

Evalin: “I probably did.”

Angela: “All over the front of my white dress, thanks Evalin.”

17Angela: “Sister, there is something very important I want you to do tonight for me…”

Evalin: “Strangle Eunice to death for tonight’s entertainment?”

Eunice: “WHAT?”

Angela: “No, can you give the speech for me, please dear?”

18Angela: “Oh this makes me so happy.”

Evalin: “Alright, you bitches and hoes!  Come around before I hit you all with a golf club!  I got announcements to make!”

19Evalin: “FIRST OFF, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY, no I am NOT making the speech, Angela.”

Angela: “Oh sister, now is not the time to be so cruel to me.”

Evalin: “Tough shits, Angela.”

20Eunice: “You’re party sucks wiener.  You hardly have a house, and everything around here bores me.  I hired a stripper.”

Angela: “Oh… well thank you, Eunice.”

Ella: “NOW IT’S A PARTY NOW!”

Catarina: “WE ARE PROBABLY WASTED RIGHT NOW”

21Evalin: “WOOOOO, NO I AM THE WASTED ONE!  WOOO, GET YOU WASTED TOO, EUNICE!  DANCE NAKIE WITH ME!”

Eunice: “HARBABKLDAG *chokes on champeegne*”

Stripper: “Dayuuuum, I dig this hoe :D”

22Eunice: “Myyyy tuuuuuuurbn Eurvalarn, yaaaay”

Evalin: *Eventually goes blind*

23Evalin: “I donno if it’s the alchohol talking, but you are looking less fat as ever, Eunice… Mmmm~”

Eunice: “Coming from you, that almost sounded like a complement…”

Stipper: “WOOOOO, TAKE IT OFF”

Bruce: “BEST STRIPPER PARTY EVER”

24Ella: “I don’t like this nasty yard party, this is barbaric!  I was expecting ball room dancing, not strippers, and handsome princes, not lesbians making out in front of the fridge, and pumpkin carriages, not stupid watermelon Jack-O-Lanterns.”

Liam: “Don’t be such a party pooper, Ella.”

Angela: “I went to the bathroom for a bit, oh what’s going on out here??”

25Liam: “I know what will make you feel better!  Ella, what’s your siiiiiign baby?”

Ella: “For real?”

Don’t me such a slut, Liam.  Angela is asleep, but she’s right there.

26Eunice: *Drunken rambling* Liamn needin’ more drunkie*ramble ramble*”

Liam: “Oh, it was this kind of party?!  What rock have I been under for the past five hours?!”

The hell if I know.

27The next morning, both Evalin and Angela went to work, bright faced and eager to get their jobs done, and they left both Liam and Eunice naked in the front yard still getting drunk ‘n crunk.

I don’t know guys… maybe one of you should stay behind and monitor this… I don’t know…

28Angela: “Liam, these past few days with you have been a wonder in itself.  There is no one I want to spend more time with than you, my love.  How about we get married right here, on the water’s edge, a private little ceremony, just me and you, without my sister and her friend getting wasted and passing out in the aisle?”

Liam: “Sounds like a plan to me!”

29And they had a private wedding, but it was a beautiful night to get married.

30Angela: “Congradulations on marrying me!  Time to get CRUUUUNK!”

Liam: “GAAH!  Angela, you too?!”

Angela: “YEAH!  Evalin taught me that this is what you people do when you celebrate good happenings!  I’m going to do this all the time now!”

…Alright then.

31Liam brought in a good chunk of money, so now they are no longer living on their lawns anymore.  It’s dinky, and I’m having a hard time liking that blue frame around that door, but I will fix it later.

32BAM.  there you go, the rest of the house.  He brought in money, but not that much money.

Evalin, don’t sleep outside their bedroom door.

33Right now, there is one bedroom, and that’s for the newly married couple…

And now, we are about to get to making babies!

White Horses

1

Evalin: “Who the fuck’s calling me?!  How did you get this number?!  I’ll kill you!  Oh, you’re that Eunice woman.  No, you definitely were interrupting me in something.  I was just jogging around town without pants on.  I do it regularly.  You should try it sometime, Thunder-Thighs.  Might help with that gravitational pull you’ve developed with that girth of yours.  Hello?”

Back at the Fallen household, while Angela was flirting it up hardcore with Liam, Evalin was working on a want to jog four hours or something like it.  She got interrupted by a phone call and had to start over I think.  I’d be fustrated too if I were her.

The next day, Angela completed work, still ahead of Evalin career wise, and then headed straight over to Liam’s to see him again.

On the way over, we started getting some pop ups…

2Ok… I can understand that, he and Angela aren’t a real thing, we can work around this somehow, I suppose…

3WHAT

Liam, you JUST flirted with another woman ONE NOTIFICATION AGO.

There is NO WAY a nerd like you is getting the chicks

4STOP LIAM SERIOUSLY

5The last notification we got while Angela was RIGHT THERE, on the PORCH.

Angela: “Come on now, Liam.  We all know you are just saying you are dating three chicks to make you sound more manly than you obviously are.  You shouldn’t play games with my emotions like this, Liam.”

Liam: “Oh Angela!  I recognize you from your pleasant little bosom.  You are more well rounded than the other lumpy girls.”

Angela: “Um…”

6Angela: “What is your business with those other girls, Liam?  Do you… plan on marrying any of them?”

7Liam: “Seriously babe.  Look at me, it was a joke.  You really think I can get all of those chicks?”

Angela: “Oh right.  I’m sorry to even think that, I should have known that answer right away!”

8Angela: “That makes my heart happy, Liam!  Because I really like you!  Will you take my flowers of courting and be mine?”

Liam: “GASP!  A girl is actually giving me flowers!  And here I thought you were just going to string me along as a joke like the other’s usually do!  You must REALLY like me!”

9Evalin: “Bitch, you keep calling me.  Where do you find all this free time between snacks to dial my number?”

Eunice: “I’M BIG BONED YOU FUCKING SKINNY LITTLE POPSICLE STICK, OH I’LL SNAP YOU IN HALFmmm popsicle.”

Evalin: “Haha, this human interaction stuff is fun.”

10Sigh, Angela did this two nights in a row.

Angela: “I just really want to see Wreck-It-Ralpppzzzzzzz….”

Her favorite want is to watch films I think.

11REALLY, IT’S ONLY BEEN ONE WEEK.

Baek: “A week is a week, you had plenty of time to start paying for your property taxes, instead of back to back Disney movies about arcade games.”

Angela, probably still camping in line at the theater: “BUT VANELLOPE IS SUCH A SWEET LITTLE ANGEL ;_;”

12OH HELL NO, HE TOOK THE HOPSCOTCH GAME

Angela and Evalin: *rolls want for hopscotch game*

And thus begins a cycle.

13Angela: “Hello?  Hidden Spring’s Pizza Palace?  Yeah, I just now realized that the pizza I ordered for my party several nights ago has still not arrived here, and I was wondering if I was ever going to get that?  Sure, come on over!  Thank you!”

14Evalin: “Yo, you go by that ’30 minutes late and it’s free’ crap, right?”

Ria: “Bitch, consider yourself lucky this isn’t the same pizza from the other day.”

15Evalin: “WHOA WHOA WHOA.  This isn’t my hopscotch mat!  ANGELA!  Who the fuck’s been messing with our HOPSCOTCH MAT?!”

We had to get a new one Evalin, jeez.  Late to the party, I think.

16Evalin: “THAT STUPID PIZZA GIRL LIED, THAT WAS THE SAME PIZZA FROM THE OTHER NIGHT”

I wouldn’t doubt it.

17Evalin: “Why do I keep wanting to do all these strenuous workout routines?!  I’m not even athletic!”

I want to know what I was thinking when I let that be your athletic outfit.  Seriously.

18Evalin: “Hello.  I don’t remember meeting you, nor caring to know a damn thing about you, but I stalked you all the way back to your house because I wanted to know your sign.  I think you have a cute ass.  Not as cute as mine, but still.”

Simon: “Oh?  I saved you the other day from that Ryan fellow at the bookstore.  I see you came around to liking me though baby!  I’m a Capricorn!  Would you like a tour of my lovely abode?”

19Evalin: “Oh, that’s another want I wanted to do while I was here: FUCK YOUR HOUSE, this is the NASTIEST housekeeping I have ever seen in my life!”

Simon: “But… we exchanged signs…”

I’m just concerned with Evalin’s lack of pants.

20Newpaper Kid: “My day has been pretty bad, and I had this cloud hanging over my head all morning, but when I saw your beauty, ma’am, all that has been lifted off of me.  You must be some sort of angel.”

21Angela: “Well I try my best to bring happiness and rays of sunshine into people’s lives!  Thank you young man, and keep up the fabulous work you do!”

22Paper kid: “SIKE, I’m BIPOLAR, what the hell is wrong with you woman?! I don’t need your friendship and happiness, go fall in a ditch, Disney princess wannabe!”

Angela: “But, I just wanted to be friends…”

23Liam: “Hello my heavenly doll!  Please ignore that little rugrat insulting you like that, for I, your knight in shining armor is here to sweep you off your feet!”

Angela: “Liam!  Wow, these flowers are lovely!  I’m so glad you made it to my yard without flirting with any other women along the way!”

24Liam: “Sorry it took so long for me to get here.  I was looking for a house…”

Angela: “Yeah, about that… welcome to our yard, like I just said a second ago.”

Evalin: “What the crap is this, my sister inviting some dorknuts onto our property like this?!  Humph, little Miss Friendship smoozing her way into everyone’s hearts…”

25Evalin: “ANGELA, YOUR LITTLE GINGER BOYFRIEND IS RADIOACTIVE”

Angela: “Radioactive?!  Oh no!  Is that contagious?!”

Liam: “WOW, you weren’t kidding by yard.  That is the smallest shack I have ever seen.”

26Evalin: “Humph, I will show those two that they aren’t the only ones that can have social time and crap… Sup, Eunice?  No, I wasn’t planning on making fat jokes, I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out somewhere or something… I hear there’s an all-you-can-eat buffet downtown we can go to you probably will like… no, you’re paying for me too…”

27Evalin: “So, you wanna rob this place blind, Eunice?”

Eunice: “What do you have in mind?”

Evalin: “Oh, just watch and learn.  I am a master…”

28And by tripped, I’m quite sure Evalin had a hand in his falling too…

And so naturally, she yelled at him.

29Evalin: “Kaching, Eunice.  And that’s how you make money.”

It sure is more than what she makes at work…

30And this is what’s going on back at the house.

White Horse: “WHOA, moving WAY too fast, you two, take the time to smell the roses!”

31White Horse: “Besides, that loser sucks”

No one asked for your opinion, horse.

32Liam: “My love, these are the flowers you gave to me five minutes ago!  I love you so much, that I want you to have flowers too, but I ran out of flowers!  Take them, as proof of my love to you!”

Angela: “Oh, how I love my own flowers!  I love you too, Liam!”

33Evalin: “Stop screwing in front of our hopscotch mat, you two, I brought a friend over, don’t embarrass me, you two dumbshits.”

Angela: “Oh dear… and she’s a woman…”

34Liam: “So, uh, you married, hot stuff?”

Eunice: “Do what now.”

Angela: “I was afraid he would do something like that.  Sigh.”

35Eunice: “YOUR CHOICE OF MAN IS A PLAYER”

Angela: “AAH!  I’m tired of people saying that about Liam!”

White Horse: “I’m still back here guys, over here!”

36Eunice: “Little Perfect Sunshine Princess sucks!  No one in this town dates Liam, he’s too much of a loser!  And he thinks he’s dating everyone else in town!  What a dork!  They are both dorks!  Matter of fact, they belong together, so they can both be stupid together!  Screw both of you, guys!”

Eunice is just a bucket of wonderful herself.

37Liam: “It’s kind of sad that the most technologically advanced thing here is the Jack-O-Watermelon.”

White Horse: “And if you come near this watermelon, I will hoof you right in the FACE, you horrible human being.”

Dammit horse, why are you still here?!

38Angela: “Don’t worry about the horse guys, I can take care of this.  I have a special way with mother nature’s creatures.”

White Horse: *Kick*

Angela: “Oh, forget this.”

39*Three hours later*

Brown Horse: “Hello guys.  My friend White Horse told me that there was an evil red head running around on this lot?  I had to come check it out for myself.”

Sorry horse, you are a little late for that, he’s gone now.”

40Brown Horse: “Well that’s just not very kind of you.  I’m poopin’ on your sidewalk for that.  Later.”

Lovely.

Barefoot

Heeey, three chapters in three days.  I’m not doing too bad timewise, considering this paper sitting here wanting me to write it.  I’ll do that later, I have all day for that.  I love Saturdays.

1So far the girls are getting along fairly well in their new home in Hidden Springs.  The day before, Angela already started making friends, and Evalin, well, didn’t really want to do a lot of socializing.  Today is their first day of work, and they sit together in the bathroom and talk about their upcoming friendly rivalry in the political career.

2Evalin: “I’m going to shine so many more podiums than you, Angela.  They are going to pay me, I will get promoted, and I will be the dictator this world so desperately needs for the perfect flawless utopia I’m thinking about.”

Angela: “Setting everyone on fire will not be a utopia, sister.”

3Angela: “How about instead of thinking that far ahead, we work on saving our money and actually building a house instead of this bathroom shack we have at the moment.  I mean, we are kinda broke and back to step one after you bought that motorcycle.”

Evalin: “If this is going where I think it’s going, I’m not selling my motorcycle.”

4First day of work and Angela goes… barefoot.

Angela: “I’m so poor I can’t even afford shoes… well, unlike my sister.”

5

Evalin: “Oh what now?!  I needed an expensive evening dress for work too!  How am I supposed to get high up in my career if I don’t dress like a fancy gold digger!?”

Without shoes as well, I see.

6

Evalin… this isn’t your job.

Evalin: “YEAH WELL, I got tired of sitting in that carpool with that smelly-ass driver and my pitiful sister!  I needed to BREAK STUFF!  YAH!  Take THAT, random trash can!  That’s what you get for just being the first thing I saw!”

She managed to make it to work, and neither got a promotion that day, although after this, Angela is in the lead.

7Evalin: “Hello my only real acquaintance.  I invited you over because I wanted to spend more money on a trivial toy, and I need a human to show me how to use this new object.”

Eunice: “Um… sure.  It’s not that hard, it’s a child’s game for kids.”

Does no one in town have shoes or something?  I just noticed Eunice lost her’s as well just now.

8Eunice: “You are supposed to hop along these rows and not touch the square with the marker on it… Urm, you know, NOT touch it like I did.  Shit.”

Evalin: “I seee… now is there any way I can use this knowledge to further my career against my sister in politics?”

Eunice: “As I said before, it’s a child’s game for kids.  So yeah, probably.”

9Angela: “Hello sir!  I have been going around town all afternoon introducing myself as your new neighbor.  I just love meeting new people!  My name is Angela?  May I ask what yours is?”

Liam: “Oh, hello Angela!  My name is Liam and I am just getting off work myself.  I mean, if you like, you can come in and stay for a while.”

10

Instantly, after coming into Liam’s house, she instantly rolled the want to know his sign. Atta’ girl!

Angela: “You really are a cutie pie!  I would love to be friends with you, it’s in my Gemini nature!”

Liam: “*Thinking*I wonder if I can get a picture with her, so I can show my friends at work that I’m not a dorky loser and CAN get a girl in my house…”

11Then she proceeded a string of flirts with Liam, without any influence from me!

Angela: “I can’t help it!  I think he’s sweet!  And his hair is beautiful, I have never seen another with that shade of auburn before!”

Liam: “Well I am slightly famous for it…”

12Angela: “Wait a minute!  Are you really Liam, as in Liam O’Dourke?  The guy absolutely everyone hates seeing on thesims3.com webpage?!”

Liam: “Eh… the one and only!”

Angela: “Wow!  If anything you are probably the most evil sim out there to date now that I think about it!”

I think so anyway.  I hate having to look at him when I need to do something on that site (I mean, it’s not really his fault, but I’m blaming him anyway).

13Liam: “So I’m a bad boy, baby… you know, being bad by being good and informing people they can’t come into the maintenance areas at work… I bet you are the most beautiful flower at your line of work…”

14Angela: “I have had someone at work today tell me that my hair is as golden as the sun, which I think was pretty cool… but not as cool as you, Liam.”

Just strings and strings of flirts one after another with these two.  Why do I have to be here, they seem to have it under control.

15Liam: “So… I was wondering… if you would like… to watch the stars with me Angela.”

Angela: “Wow, I would love to Liam, you gentleman!”

16

Not the kind of stars I was thinking about, guys.

Liam: “Shh, they are going to announce this years winner for the season!”

Angela: “I have to admit, Dancing with the Stars has actually gone downhill since they took the dancing out and turned it into this.”

17Liam: “So… I… Well I was wondering, pretty lady… if you would like to see my bedroom… I mean, I have a bed in it and all…”

Angela: “WHOA.  Moving a WAY bit too fast into this Liam…”

18Liam: “No, no no no, that’s not what I was getting at!  I mean, if it’s what YOU were thinking, then yes, I will admit I make some pretty good babies!  I make the best babies!  You will love my babies.  But that’s not what I was getting at at all…”

Angela: “Oh, ok, so what were you getting at?”

19

Liam: “Oh, I don’t know, just maybe you would like to spend the night, and we can just… share… sleeping areas… and cuddle… not really other stuff, but I won’t object to other stuff, really…”

Angela: “This is going EXACTLY where I thought it was going.”

20Liam: “It’s not bad, Angela!  Come on!  I promise! I won’t take any pictures of it!  Unless you want me to take pictures.  I take pretty good pictures!  I take the best!  You will love my pictures!”

Angela: “No more of this, I’m going home now.”

21We will end with Evalin and her damn motorcycle.

Evalin: “Don’t hate, cause you ain’t.  I’m like those sexy motorcycle sluts on the cover of bike magazines.  Only barefoot.”

I see.

Try Smiling Less

I would like to say I actually started this legacy a while ago.  It’s been at least nine months since I started this ISBI?  I really just sat on it until my prettacy wrapped itself up.  So some of the first chapters are pre-Showtime EP, just throwing it out there.

1This is their very first day on Earth, their very few minutes on their precious lot and the first moments of their little legacy…

Ice cream truck: “ICE CREAM!  I AM HERE! I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND!  ICE CREAM ICE CREAM ICE CREAM!  I WILL BE HERE FOR A WHILE JUST FOR YOU.  BUY AN ICE CREAM!!  BUUUYYYYYY!!

Evalin: “I already want to kill someone.”

2Angela: “Race you to town, sister!  We need to find jobs and get money to buy our friend’s ice cream!”

Evalin: “I just want a motorcycle.”

Their first wishes were to get jobs, both with their LTWs in mind.

3Wait, no.  Evalin rolled a want to join the criminal career first.  She just really wanted to be bad.

Evalin: “Yeah yeah, I enjoyed that.  Now I want to be in the political career just like my sister.  Now that’s where the REAL criminal career is!”

4Angela: “I’m going to be the best podium washer ever!  I will make it sparkle and sing cheerful songs as I do so, and incorporate my animal friends to join me in the fun…”

Slow down, Snow White.

5Evalin: “I’M GOING TO BURN THE PODIUMS.  I BETTER BE GETTING THAT CASH.”

Slow down, Maleficent.

6Angela: “Why hello, sir!  I am new in town and I would like to settle down into your normal mortal lifestyle and raise babies.  That’s my goal in this short little life.  I do believe I will be the perfect mother.  Do you know how I can get children?”

Bruce: “…I’m not really all that sure how to respond to that.”

7Evalin: “Unlike my sister who wants to run her mouth to everyone in town, I’m want to study the human race from their books. because every time I look at their faces, I want to punch them in the mouth.”

Ryan: “Hot lil’ mama at three o’ clock!  I’m soooo going to sit next to that and read.  Yeah, it’s going to be so sexy…”

8Simon: “Like hell you are, Ryan.  I want to sit next to the pretty new lady!”

Ryan: “I beat your ass with a copy of The Old Man And The Sea in high school, I will do it again if you get in my way, Simon.  Don’t think I won’t.”

Evalin: *Not giving two shits*

9Angela: “Wow, I just love meeting new people!  I could just wish to meet new people all day!  Good to meet you, young sir!  How are you today?”

Scott: “Are you going to be my new best friend?!”

Angela: “Maybe.  Probably not, but we will see.”

10Scott: “Well I am Scott, and ugh… this is my boring brother, Dennis.  Be careful around him, he’s boring.”

Angela: “Boring?!  What’s that?  Is it contagious?”

Dennis: “Uuuh, I just don’t have a sense of humor according to my brother.  Uuuh, wanna here a joke?”

Angela: “Well, um, not really-”

Dennis: “Two cactuses walk into a bar.  Uuuh, first cactus says, “I don’t really like this bar”.  Second cactus says, “I work for the local post office”…”

11Scott: “Good job, you social quack.  Now she won’t be friends with us.”

Dennis: “Uuh, but I thought that joke was hilarious…”

This won’t count as a pass out, for the record.

12Angela: “I enjoy spreading joy and happiness to the townsfolk!  I already love each and every one of you guys!  Nothing is more rewarding than seeing my newfound friends smile!  You should smile more ma’am!  It brings out your best side!”

13Lonnie: “*face makes gross stretching noises* Like this?”

14Angela: “OH… um… M-maybe you should try smiling… just a little less…”

15Evalin: “How much do you want to bet that all that sucking up my sister is doing is going to bite her on the ass in a little while?”

Too late, it kinda already is.

Lonnie: “PRETTY FLOWERS FOR A PRETTY GIRL FROM A DESPERATE LADY?”

16Angela: “Oh, no no no!  No, I couldn’t!  Not from you Lonnie!  You just aren’t my type dear!  Please, don’t return the affections!”

17Lonnie: “Why would you break my heart like this?  I thought you were the good one!”

Angela: “Sorry…”

18Angela later wanted to party, and tried to invite everyone she met at town on her first day.

19Angela: “Yes, I would love to order a pizza, I have many guests to feed and no money to buy anything else to entertain them with so if I could get one, that would be great.”

Best part, we never got that pizza.  I think I hate delivery sims more than firefighters at this point.

20Meanwhile, Evalin spent the night away from the people and out in the graveyard.

Evalin: “I’m looking for ghosts.  Mmm, not going so well.”

It’s the first day, I’m sure they will be out eventually.

21Astrid: “This party sucks.  So much for a nice housewarming party.  You don’t even have a house.”

Ella: “I try to be nice when I can to other people, but Astrid is right.  This was terrible.”

Angela: “My feelings are hurt… but I will get over this…  *wants to have a great party* Oh fiddlesticks.”

22Ice Cream Truck: “I AM STILL HERE!  I AM STILL YOUR FRIEND!  BUY ICE CREAM FROM ME, I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!”

Evalin: “Fine, if it will get you off our lot already!  I’ll have a chocolate.”

23And so ended our girls first day in Hidden Springs.  It was fairly uneventful and short, but surely it will get better.  By the end of the day, they had a bathroom, a couple kitchen appliances, and some sleeping bags.

Evalin: “And my motercycle.  I got me a motorcycle in my pocket with me.”

Yes, she wasted most of the money on a motercycle.  Go figure.