The Puzzle Box
It’s almost Christmas and stuff, so here’s an almost-Christmas update! Happy almost-Christmas!
Last chapter, Eunice went into labor! She gave birth to our little baby Jealous! She is brave and evil, and because of that latter trait she is instantly heiress unless a future sibling rolls evil as well before her young adult birthday. Her favorites are blue, roots music, and stu surprise.
Liam: “Oh ok… wait… OH”
Liam was so suddenly shocked by his wife going into labor that jumped out of his chair so fast he flew through the couch.
Angela: “Oh… and it was a brand new couch too.”
Angela: “It’s fine dear! You start the car… er, the motorcycle rather, take me to the hospital, and we have this baby-”
Angela: “WAS I BEING THAT LOUD, I THOUGHT I WAS USING MY INSIDE VOICE, OH DEAR”
Liam: “I will, but first I must see the other new mouth in the house your wife had this morning!”
Evalin: “My wife had a baby?”
Evalin: “Why was I not informed that my spawn had finally dropped?! Angela, tell your beanpole husband to move away from my spawn before I break his fingers off.”
Angela: “NOT RIGHT NOW, THERE’S A BABY STILL COMING OUT OF ME GUYS”
Angela: “GUYS THERE’S STILL A BABY IN ME, HELP”
This is Kindness’ little brother, Happiness! He’s artistic and easily impressed. Favorites include aqua, songwriter music (? what is that? That’s a genre?), and he likes cheesesteak, not vegetarian, because I don’t think they make it vegetarian. KINDNESS.
There’s still not enough for their own nursery, so his new crib is added to Angela’s room, right next to his big brother’s and next to his aunt’s almost immovable pallet on the floor.
That’s not Happiness.
Jealousy: “Meh heh heh… you won’t have to worry about Happiness anytime soon…”
Liam: “I’ll take that into consideration, Evalin. You know. If you tell me where you put my other son.”
Liam: “Oh don’t worry… Eunice knows where Kindness is stashed and is watching him this very moment!”
Angela: “Uh, dear? Eunice is on the trampoline…”
Liam: “I have no clue what you are talking about.”
Angela: “Oh ok then, never mind. What would you want for dinner tonight then, dear?”
You are getting way too good at that, dear.
Hold on, what the crap is that?
Bat: “I think trampolines came with Ambitions, right? I was probably an Easter egg to the “upcoming” vampires in Late Night.”
That is probably it.
Eunice: “But… when I’m pregnant, I don’t get to jump…”
Eunice: “Alright then, deal! Pregnancy is starting to sound fine with me!”
Not if you are smothering him with your armpit like that.
Yes, you are a nice baby.
MOVING ALONG, it’s another birthday tonight! Yaaaay!
Eunice: “Why am I here. This isn’t fair. Trampy is cold and still tonight, and I’m in here with Jenny and cake.”
Jealously: “That’s not my name, mother. Now get your titty out of my eye.”
Seraph: “RAWK! NO ONE CARES, NO ONE CARES! RAWK!”
Jealousy: “I am now out of that infernal swaddling cloth, I can now set forth on my plot for world destruction! And I shall harness the energy of these little sparkles to power my volcano activating machine!”
Jealously: “Jam it in your diaper, loser. I’m gonna go pway wid something else that doesn’t involve me looking at your stupid face!”
Jealously: “Shove it, Kindness! Seriously, looking at your stupid face is really pissing me off! I don’t want to hear it!”
As long as it makes you creative, that’s fine.
Evalin: “Ah yes, my angry little hellspawn. Heh heh heh…”
Happiness: “I’m getting pretty tired of that song, mother…”
Angela: “Sigh, so am I, son. So am I.”
Jealously: “And I’ll throw both of you off a cliff if you sing it again. Look, I’m already done learning to poop. Now someone, anyone, make me a damn sandwich already.”
Kindness: “Hey, Jeeeeaaallloooussssyyyyy… come, get in the box with me! I’m pretended to be an astronaut! Quickly, we are going to space to find the Friendshiponites! They are the locals of Planet Smilesalot!”
Jealously: “Dammit, FUCK OFF ALREADY, KINDNESS! Can’t you see I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU!? GOD! I’m busy playing with myself, and I LIKE playing with myself and myself ONLY! Now if you don’t mind, I’m busy trying to get this block in this…whua?”
…Maybe she does need a playmate.
Jealousy: “Are you going to help me find the damn box or not, woman?”
Evalin: “I suppose I have no choice.”
Jealousy: “WELL I AM OUT OF OPTIONS, HELP ME WOMAN”
It wouldn’t be broken if you don’t jam your elbow through her head, Evalin.
Jealousy: “OW! My brain have no feel anymore? Rock potato cream butt. Limes?”
Happiness: “WAH! I can’t eat sparkles! Help! I’m going blind now, oh twigs!”
Liam: *Is actually purposely drowned hidden cleverly in a champagning*
Seraph: “SQAAUUAAAUAK! Oh I just crapped a lot of my body weight off. I’m scared.”
It’s going to be alright, little bird.
Angela: “Well yes, but I’m also level 4 sister! I can’t remember if it was before or soon after my maternity leave, but I got a promotion too! Isn’t that something.”
Evalin: “Stay away from my podium or I won’t have a problem making you “disappear”, sister.”
Eunice: “You say that like you think I can’t do it.”
Well we are about to find out, aren’t we?
Angela was hardly at work half an hour, and cut out work early just to go home. It’s strange though, because she’s still supposed to be at work at the same time as Evalin, she’s still working, and Angela isn’t scheduled until the next day. I suppose work is just as worried for all those babies as much as she is.
Evalin: “What is this?! Getting OLD?! I do NOT get old, this is BLASPHEMY!”
And of course. Mid-life crisis.
Happiness: “Wow, mother. You’d bet on your own sister and her wife’s happiness like that? Hee hee… happiness. That’s me.”
Kindness: “So long as we still get to live together in the same house together! I love my family, and my cousin-”
Jealousy: “SHUT UP KINDNESS, UGGHH”
Evalin: “Look, I know I’m married and all that, but I’ve been hunting you all over town, dude. I don’t remember your name, but I need to flirt with someone other than that baby oven of mine in that house.”
Please, flirt and get it over with, Evalin. Oh jeez.
Maybe his back isn’t broken. Who knows.
Theorized Easter Egg Bat: “HAHAHAH, you broke like a bitch.”
Until they make their babies move all their stuff for them to a new house, I think they are great parents in comparison.