Archive | March 2013

Bye Bye Birdie

Another chapter with the Fallens.  And this one is longer that usual, for no real reason at all!  Also, I just watched my fish die.  As in, he died when I was typing this paragraph.  So suddenly I’m more depressed.  I’ll dedicate this chapter to him or something.  RIP Handsome Jack.  You lasted all winter, I suppose that was better than what I was expecting.

ALSO, my game is acting up again, apparently when I put in Story Progression or Master Controller, it stops working on the loading screen.  So for the moment I’m running vanilla.  I hope to have this problem fixed soon, because I keep thinking back to my pre-Twallan days with the Secksie family and I DON’T WANT dead townie babies in this legacy!

1We open with Envy failing on us for this first time this chapter.  He is going to be the first of many too.  Sigh.

I think the blame for this one is story time.

2Liam: “You do know that the school bus left and now I’m here to scold, oh, you’re naked.”

Jealousy: “I’m also practicing my levitation skills, thanks for coming in and breaking my concentration, bozo.”

3Jealousy: “Seriously, don’t you know how to knock?”

Liam: “I’m so ashamed!  I’m sorry Jealousy, I don’t even remember why I came in here.  Just go about your business today.”

Jealousy: “That’s what I thought.”

4Usually around this time of the day when my heiress’ are at work and the kids are at school, it’s usually Liam and Eunice at home all day doing nothing.  Some days it’s just Eunice, in which she either sleeps or jumps on the trampoline.  But today I noticed that she wasn’t at home and I went looking for her.

Apparently she spent the night in jail, and no one notified me or noticed at all.

Eunice: “Goes figure no one in my family would have been informed of my incarceration.  I suppose it’s best that they don’t know about my drug trafficking charges.  Ignorance is bliss.  Especially in my wife’s case.”

She would spend the rest of the day in the police courtyard reading a book, continuing to ignore going home to her family.

5So Jealousy stayed home that day from school, butt dialing herself and growing irritated and concerned at the same time.

Jealousy: “Look, I know this isn’t the truancy officer, but it better be someone on the other end of this damn phone.  No one just butt dials themselves two times in a row like this!”

6You know how some sims have facial expressions that can be pushed to a limit?  I don’t think Jealousy’s face has a limit.  I seriously think it could go a little farther.

Liam: “If you’re face falls off from all that hate, remember to pick it up before I go over this rug with the vacuum.  I’ll have your Aunt Angela glue it back on when she gets home.”

7Beelzebub: “This the waiting room for interaction time with Jealousy?  Feels like it.  Only waiting rooms play shitty channels on their telelvisions like this.”

Liam: *Says nothing because he can’t hear the damn IF*

Seraph: “Seriously, anyone going to throw a party any time soon?  I still think that would be a splendid idea.”

8Happiness: “Oh no, someone followed me home.  I’ll just pretend to call someone on my phone until he goes awa-hello?  Did someone call me first?  What do you mean, I butt dialed myself?”

Gabriel: “You brought someone home to interact with that isn’t me?! …I should be the only friend you ever need, Happiness…”

Let’s take a second to admire Eduardo, shall we?

9This very handsome lad is a result of Hidden Springs breeding with some of the better looking residents.  He looks like he could be a villain in an action movie, and at the same time has the drive to blame stuff in other people’s inventories for the reason that he can’t do his homework that he stomps all over.

Eduardo: “Can’t do my homework, Happiness’ prom pictures are so disturbing sticking out of his pockets like that that I can’t even find my homework.”

If he has the evil trait, he’s going to make a splendid mate for the next generation.

10Evalin: “But first, I must see if he is fitting for my spawn.  You, James Bond Villian Child.  Do you, or can you foresee yourself in the future, dealing with hazardous chemicals in order to obtain world domination and human species destruction?”

11Eduardo: “Nah, not really, I like people too much for that.  No need to go around being all mean to people, you know?”

Evalin: “Great, a friendly moron.  That’s exactly what we need in this family, kid.  Some friendship.  Sigh.”

12I don’t know if Eduardo is even the kid that you’d think would be friendly at all.  Especially with that face.

Eduardo: “You will believe in the magic of friendship before I leave lady… huehuehuehuehuehue…”

13Evalin: “I like you Eduardo.  So I’m determined that before your 21st birthday, you will be committed for crimes and felonies and become the most evil sim this town has ever seen!”

14Evalin: “And then, you will plow my daughter and/or son and further make diabolical spawn in the name of Evalin Fallen!”

Envy: “I don’t think I like the sound of what the conversation topic is in the living room today.”

15Eduardo: “Yeeesssss… naughty bits.  I like the sound of this deal.”

Evalin: “I know you will come around.”

Liam: “Guys, I haven’t moved from the living room since this morning!  I blame you Happiness!  Guys?!”

16

Angela was out and about when Simon tried his stupid advances on her again.  Can’t anyone in this town get a hint?

17Angela: “What’s that?  I accidentally agreed to a date with you?!  But I’m married!  Oh fine, I’ll meet you at your designated place of choice for a quick date.  Please keep your hands where I can see them Simon.”

The only fairy in town, matter of fact, I think he’s the only supernatural sim in town, come on game, give me some variety: “Oooh yeah, this is about to get sexy.”

18Jealousy: “I didn’t summon this twister in the living room.  I will admit though.  Having powers to control disastrous weather currents would be the shit.”

It’s actually Eduardo changing into his formal for a fundraising party Evalin suddenly wanted to throw.  Not like she needs the money at this moment, but I’m sure the extra cash is something she would love to get her hands on.

19Jealousy: “Look Uncle Lili.  I can make funny faces with you.  Er, oogie boogie?”

She looks so inexperienced and confused.

20Liam: “Maybe comedy really isn’t your thing, Jealousy.  I can’t help but look at your face and wanting to hide in the cabinet for an hour.”

21Jealousy: “WOW, that was the rudest thing you could ever say to me.  That hurt.”

Liam: “It will be the worst thing I do this legacy, I promise.”

22Angela: “I will admit, Simon did pick a swanky little place for this date.  I wonder what is taking him so long to get here.  He pestered me all this time for a date and is taking his sweet time getting here…”

23Simon, the ever intelligent asshole he is, pulled up for the date, and instantly turned around and left.

Simon: “I know I have been wanting a date forever with this woman, but… nah.”

Remind me to burn him later.

24Happiness: “Hee hee, I’m such a naughty boy… I’m playing a prank on everyone in the household by… logging them out of all their accounts and unchecking the Remember Me button for their password!  Now everytime mom wants to get on facebook, she’ll have to go through the hassle of typing her password back in!  I’m a genius!”

Yes, the mastermind of pranks, this one is.

25Liam: “Happiness, how could you!  You know I have long and complicated passwords to everything!  Now how am I going to get my maintenance page on thesims3.com site if I can’t access my account to it!  Players will be stuck looking at a 404 page during maintenance!  People hate that even more than they hate me!  You are banned from electronics until I say otherwise!”

26Happiness: “Sniff sniff, uwaaah, I’m so sorry father!  I didn’t mean for my pranking to get out of hand so quickly!  I’ve seen the error of my ways and I deserve my punishment!  I’m such an animal, father!  Please forgive me!”

Liam: “You will be forgiven when all is fixed.  Go do your homework or something.”

27Oh look who showed up as a party crasher to Evalin’s party.

Simon: “Hey, the party don’t start until I hobble in with my bum knee and bad pelvis bone.”

Meanwhile Angela is still at the club wondering why the hell alcohol tastes all funny.

28Happiness: “I like hanging out with a clique at a party.  Parties are fun!  I like being friends with you guys.”

He doesn’t have any friends.

29Happiness: “I can’t believe dad punished me for a little prank.   Ugh, I can’t ever forgive myself!  How could I have done such a stupid thing!  Stupid stupid stupid!”

Simon: “It’s ok son, we all do stupid things when we were that age!  What did you do?  Vandalism?  Set a field on fire?”

Happiness: “I logged my mother out of Facebook.”

Simon: “…….Actually, that’s pretty bad, since I hardly know how to work a computer, I would never remember how to get back onto my own account.  Yeah, that’s pretty hardcore, kid.”

Happiness: “I know…”

30Astrid: “Your son passed out in the corner again.  Also I think someone peed the floor?”

Eunice: “Yeah, I’m going to pretend that’s not pee.  No one saw it, so no one did it.”

It’s a pretty estranged puddle, I’m going to go ahead and say that’s pee.

31Betel: “I came in here to make up beds, and I found someone asleep in this one!  I didn’t even know anyone ever used this bed!”

Liam: “What?!  Kindness asleep in the bed we got him?!  What is this unheard of nonsense?!”

Kindness: “Guys, please!  Sometimes I actually know what I’m doing!  Now let me sleep before I knock your lights out.  Just kidding, I wouldn’t do that really.  But seriously, guys.”

32Jealousy: “I’m actually just waking up, but I can’t get out of my room because there’s a stare-off blocking my way.”

Betel: “Look, I’m going to make that bed up, and ain’t a damn thing you gonna do about it, boy!”

Beelzebub: “Oh bitch, I like to see you try.”

33Betel: “Wanna take this outside, muthafucka?!”

Beelzebub: “Bitch, let’s go, right here right now!”

Tension so thick you can cut it with an imaginary knife.

34Jealousy then proceeded to spend the remaining three hours on the trampoline, and Betelgeuse for some reason went outside with her and played on the hopscotch board.

Betel: “WOW, this game is so fun, I don’t ever want to quit.”

35Beelzebub: “This is bullshit.”

I like Beelzebub actually.  He’s the most patient IF I have ever had.  They usually get in the way and keep kids from doing things they need to do, but he tends to sit it out and wait until Jealousy is idle.

Beelzebub: “I can’t even remember my password…”

Seraph: “SQUAWK!  IT’S KINGHUMPDADDY69!  SQUAWK!”

Beelzebub: “That’s right, thanks bird!”

36Betel: “Try this instead!  It’s got more protein in it, and if you eat it upside down, it will go straight to your head!”

Eunice: “You are a sick bitch, Betel.”

37Around this point I tried to upgrade the house.  It was mild.  Virtually the only thing I did was add onto the teens’ rooms.

Also, Butt Stallion says hello.

Butt Stallion: “Why is that my name now?!  This is BS!”

Yes, you are BS, BS.

Great, now I’m sad about my fish again.  UUUGGHWAAH

38I’m sticking with a slight horse theme with modern teenage accessories for Happiness’ room.

39For his brother Kindness, his room didn’t get much bigger, but I fear if it gets too big, Kindness would be unable to relocate his bed, and will stupidly take to sleeping on the couch or something.

40Jealousy’s room saw the end of funds, and the poor kid ended up with the smallest room of all.

41Here’s an above shot for better detail.  Envy’s room will be upgraded when he’s older.  Also when we are no longer broke.  More because of the latter reason, of course.

42MEANWHILE, IN THE YARD

43Eunice: “YOU ARE MAKING A D IN SCHOOL, JEALOUSY?!  AND YOU SKIPPED ONE DAY?!  WHEN DID YOU SKIP A DAY?  THREE DAYS AGO?!  YOU ARE SO IN TROUBLE, YOUNG LADY!”

Took someone long enough to notice.

Evalin: “Oh, I knew.  I just thought it was diabolical to get by with.  Gotta admire it when one of your rotten kids is actually impressing you.”

Angela: “Sigh, you and your parenting, sister…”

44Jealousy: “Dammit, I just wanted to come in and take a bath… now it’s gone forever from my queue and I won’t remember for another four days or so.  Dammit…”

45Angela ended up getting a foosball table for the family, since she wanted to play games with her children, and Betelgeuse is still too stupid to get off of that damn hopscotch board.

Kindness: “I don’t know what’s more silly, mother.  Your hair or the skullmaid.”

Angela: “It’s the skullmaid, dear.  My hair actually makes sense to my supervisors at work.”

46Remember last chapter when Evalin wanted to go on a date with her boss?  She finally got a chance to do that.

Genevieve: “Hey sexy… Thinking about me?  Or thinking about the proposition I sent you earlier?  You know the one… the one that would allow bill 83C to go through to congress.  Because I really need your answer on that by next Thursday.”

Evalin: “This is going to be hot as hell.  And I’m going to completely pretend that my wife’s stepsister didn’t just pull up onto the lot.  No big deal.”

47And then Hidden Springs got a full moon, and the full moon lighting for this town is really bad, to be honest.

48Evalin: “Mmm, those full pouty lips are so alluring.  Kind of like a sunfish with a stroke.”

Genevieve: “Pfffvvfpppft!”

Honestly, it wasn’t that intresting of a date.

49Evalin: “You know who would be a cool stepmother for you?  That Genevieve.  She’s hot.”

50Jealousy: “You going to dump mom and marry her?  Haha, this is going to be hilarious!”

Angela: “Guys, the sink is broken.  I didn’t do it.  But you know.  Someone should fix it.  Just saying.”

51Eunice: “Damn haunted mop!  Come here!  I wanted to do the moping over here!”

52Eunice: “Fine if you won’t let me mop in the kitchen, I’ll mop in here.  *Grumble* Stupid haunted mop *grumble*”

Jealousy: “Well, at least we have someone around to fix the utilities   I’m just glad she found her way off the hopscotch mat long enough to do so…”

53Pretty much as soon as Evalin had walked into the door, she had wanted to woohoo with Eunice.  Right after her date with Genevieve too.

Evalin: “That date with Genevieve sucked.  She was so boring and a pain in the ass to be interested in.  She was hot as hell, but I’ll be honest, I’d rather stick with a diptard such as you Eunice, than that candyass Genevieve.”

Eunice: “At least you are honest with me.  That’s your best quality.”

54Evalin: “Cool, now PANTS OFF”

Eunice: “I NEVER WAS WEARING PANTS”

Evalin: “NOW THAT’S YOUR BEST QUALITY”

55Eunice: “I really do love being married to you, Evalin.  You are the best woman in the world.  We were meant to be.”

Evalin: “Sigh… I got to piss like a horse.”

56Evalin: “Well screw that, if Kindness is in here getting stories read to him while he’s bathing, I’ve lost all hope for my sister’s family.”

Kindness: “That’s not what’s going on!  I swear! I have no idea why Betel is in here with a book!  Reading in the bath, pfft, that’s ridiculous… Aunt Evalin?”

Betel: “I want someone to rekill me.”

57Evalin: “I’d rather piss next to the couch than in there where that boy is.  Remind me to slip something in his drink and drop him off in a dumpster somewhere later.”

Kindness: “You’re kidding right, Aunt Evalin?  Haha you are such a joker!  Hee hee!  The best jokes!  Please don’t kill me.”

58Evalin wanted another fund raiser party, and since it’s also Envy’s birthday, I decided that both on the same day was going to be fine.

Evalin: “I figured I could kill two birds with one stone.  Literally.  Fucking pigeons have been on the roof for three weeks, shitting on everything!  I’m taking them out before the party.”

59Both the girls got a promotion at work, and so they became Mayor at the same time!

Angela: “Some how I don’t think this is going to work out very well.”

Evalin: “Are you kidding, it’s perfect!  You write your laws, I switch them out with mine when you aren’t looking, mine get passed instead, it’s going to be great.”

60Evalin: “Today, I will pass a law that punishes people who park the carpool more than twenty feet from one’s mailbox unless obstructed. The minimum punishment is going to be about 20 years in prison.”

Angela: “Ugh, I’ll second that law, actually.”

61Kindness: “I really wish Betel would stop leaving all the ice cream out on the counter.  It goes bad, doesn’t she know that?”

Angela: “I know, I’m so tired of cooking for the family and she doesn’t acknowledge those leftovers in the fridge.”

Happiness: “So… no one is going to ask why I’m naked?  Anyone?”

62Party started, and we got Envy’s birthday out of the way first.

Envy: “That’s a good thing.  Because this isn’t my outfit.”

Happiness: “Haha, you didn’t get dressed right today.”

63Envy: “I feel it.  The power within me to do evil… or become a born actor, one or the other.”

64And that’s what he got locked in as his new trait, a Natural Born Performer.

Envy: “Take me to the red carpet, baby!  I’m going to steal that show.  Literally!”

Happiness: “Meh, I’ve seen better.”

Very supportive.

65Happiness: “Is anyone else going to talk about the elephant in the room.  Well, I’m not calling you an elephant Meghan.  I’m just saying that as a figure of speech.  Because you know.  You aren’t wearing pants.”

Astrid: “Haha, my only child is a moron!”

66Meghan: “I didn’t wear pants on purpose!  Haha, I embarrass and humiliate the hell out of you all!  Now this is pure Stupid Evil!”

Gabriella: “Are you kidding?!  NOW it’s a party!”

Laila: *TOOT*

67Angela: “I can’t accept failure in this house!  Get that D up before you influence my sons to follow suit!  Also, you are back in time out!  I can’t take it anymore!”

Wow Angela actually doing some punishment for once.

68Elle: “Aren’t you suppose to be the nice one though?”

Angela: “DO YOU WANT TO TRY ME.”

Elle: “N-no…”

69Eduardo: “Haha yay, my first Happy Pants Time ever!  And it was at a party!  Man, I love women with questionable morals.”

Happiness: “That’s nothing.  I was nude earlier.”

Eduardo: “Don’t care.”

Jealousy: “Why am I being punished again?  This is crap.”

70And then suddenly, in the middle of the party, Seraph kicked the bucket.

Seraph: “*Cough*Please remind… Beelzebub… that it’s still kinghumpdaddy…69… he’ll know what that means… *dead*”

71BIRD, YOU ARE DEPRESSING ME

Seraph: *Comes back to life for a second* “This is… the most… boring party ever *redies*”

NOOOOOOO

72Happiness: “NOT SERAPH!  I KINDA LIKED HIM AND EVEN LOOKED AT HIS CAGE A COUPLE OF TIMES”

Angela: “My bird died and left a bad stench in the cage.  Sigh, I was hoping he didn’t poop upon his death but I guess it couldn’t be helped.”

73Angela: “And what is this?!  there is now a line for mourning at my own bird’s cage!?  I’m not waiting in line for my own pet!  Mama won’t let this fly!

And I’m aware that is a bad pun, don’t say a word!”

74Angela: “Sigh, and to top it off, my husband is cheating on me in the kitchen.  What a terrible evening this has been.”

Laila and Gabrielle: “We’re kinda still focused on dat ass, if you know what we’re saying.”

75Liam: “Thank you for the flowers Jewel.  You are the prettiest non-wife that has given them to me so I will accept them.  Good to know that deep down, I’m still a sexy beast.”

Kindness: “Trying really hard to hate my father, but I can’t.  I love everyone :)”

Jealousy: “STILL IN THE CORNER OVER HERE GUYS”

Eduardo: “So… do I have to get myself out of Evalin?  Right here guys?  Ah, never mind.”

76Jealousy: “Dammit, Angela!  Get out of my way!  I’m trying to cry about the bird now!”

Angela: “Well I’m sorry Jealousy but you have to wait.  There is a line and you are not cutting.  That’s rude and besides, you aren’t allowed to do much by me until you get that D up in school.”

Jealousy: “DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO”

77Envy: “Holy hell, Eduardo cried so hard he lost his neck.  What a pansy.”

Liam: “So, the bird is dead, huh?”

78Liam: “This.  Is.  AWESOME!”

Kindness: “Wow, my dad is even worse.  Still can’t hate him though, he’s the best dad ever :)”

And here I thought insulting Jealousy’s face was the worst you said you were going to get, Liam.

79Liam: “This is wonderful news.  No longer will the bird subtly insult me in the morning on my way to the bathroom!  We can finally move this cage out of the way and make room for something more cost efficient!  Thank you sweet death!  I always wanted to put another bookshelf here!”

Heh heh, like hell there will be another bookshelf.

80Envy: “Alright, so Angela is also thrilled out of her mind to see her bird die.  Why is this family so fucked up?”

Jealousy: “Dude, I don’t even know.”

I’m starting to think Angela has snapped.

81Anyway, the funeral party soon ended and here’s a better photo of Envy.  I think he’s adorable, personally.  He’s got the best eyes in the whole household.  Of course, they’re Evalin’s eyes, but I think they look great on him.

Unfortunately, he never rolled Evil as a trait, and since Jealousy will be the first to reach adulthood and she does have the trait, she will be instant heiress.

And because so, Envy, is *ahem* GREEN WITH ENVY!  EH?!

Envy: “We already did that joke. Stop being so lame.”

82Envy: “You poor bird.  I pity you and wish I could join you.  I wish I could go anywhere else that isn’t with these idiots.”

Liam: “I just came back to say: WOO!  Dead bird!”

83Liam: “I was actually on my way back to bed, when suddenly, I just had this drive… to come back into the living room to say…”

84Liam: “WOOOOOO! DEAD BIRD!”

Ok, Liam.  It’s getting ridiculous.  You can go away now.

Advertisements

Betel

1Kindness: “So then the wolf said ‘I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll smoke your weed up!  Ok, I’m starting to think this isn’t a kid’s story… I need to stop borrowing books from Aunt Eunice.”

Jealousy: “Yeah, well, you better read that book a little louder.  Just a bit, so my mother can hear you and see what you are doing in her room.  It’s about time we got our first gravestone, you know?”

Ok, fixed the freezing for now.  I took out all the CC, played vanilla for a while, and put it back in.

2Evalin: “ANGELA!  What the FUCK did your husband do to my hair while I was sleeping?!”

Angela: “I promise Evalin!  Liam didn’t do this, my hair looks just as atrocious.”

Ok, so their hairs didn’t come back the first time.  Er.  I don’t think anyone’s did.

3Evalin: “Well don’t leave me like this!  I hate this stupid haircut!  I look like a soccer mom stripper like this!”

I will admit, Evalin.  That cut does not flatter your massive forehead at all.

4Alright, hair is back after that, everyone can go back to their normal lives.

Evalin: “That’s it, I’m calling the cops.  It is a crime to sleep in front of the fridge and starve us all to death.  He better be grateful.  I would have just zipped it all the way up and stomped on his body.”

That’s almost kind, Evalin.

5Evalin: “I wanted a maid.  Well not really, I just wanted a Bonehilda.  We really need more skulls around this house.”

If you guys didn’t keep blowing all the money on crap, we would have more skulls.

6

Evalin: “Though I know I should be weary, still I venture someplace scary, ghostly haunting I turn loose, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!”

Bonehilda: “I uh, you know you just have to wave the token around to summon me, right?”

Evalin: “As your master, that’s how you will answer our call from now on, or I’ll feed you to a grinder.”

Bonehilda: “One of these familes…”

7Betelgeuse: “I’m required to go around the room and tell everyone a little bit about myself.  Hi, I’m Bonehilda and I’m an alcoholic.”

Angela: “Actually new friend, I’m having a larger problem right now and it involves my hair.  I’ve still misplaced it.”

OK, so Angela’s hair didn’t come back after a couple restarts after all.  I guess it could be worse, but that’s still annoying.

8Betel: “You know you don’t have to do that mess anymore.  That’s what I was killed designed for.”

Liam: “Like crap you are!  I am the house cleaner, that’s MY thing!  Let me be the house cleaner, Angela, it’s the only thing I really got going for me!”

9Kindness: “My day is going to go so swimmingly from now on!”

From a… genie?  You don’t even know or own a genie, Kindness!

Kindness: “Our janitor is a genie!  His name is Robin Williams, and he sings the greatest songs in the world!”

10I let Happiness’ IF out.  Thinking back on it, this probably is not the smartest thing I could have done.

Gabriel: “I am a real boy!  Well, close enough!  Now let the childhood commence!”

Happiness: “Not right now Gabriel, I’m still on the john.  That was really awkward timing.”

11Envy: “DUDE.  Did you break the toilet?!”

Happiness: “Please don’t put all the blame on me for one thing we all contributed to.”

Envy: “You are really asking for a head flushing, aren’t you…”

12Evalin: “So glad you could come over Renauld!  I want to give a gift for being my friend, and I promise that it will not go off or punch you in the face when you open the lid.”

Renauld: “Wow, this is the nicest thing you have ever done for me, Evalin!  Probably the nicest thing you’ve ever done, ever! What is it?”

Evalin: “Oh… just that sleeping bag Kindness always likes to sleep in.”

13Renauld: “Kindness’… sleeping bag.  Oh no, that’s triggering a traumatic flashback… bedtime with Kindness… stories everywhere… I think I’m having a heart attack…”

Evalin: “Well I had to get rid of it somehow.  The sleeping bag, I mean.  Not you.  But if you go, I wouldn’t complain either I suppose.”

Even when she’s nice, she’s cruel.

14Jealousy has really bonded with her brother’s toy rocker (I suppose that’s cool since she doesn’t have a damn thing in her room other than a toy oven and a bed.)

Jealousy: “GO STEED OF HELL AND SHALL WE SET FORTH A TRAIL OF SUFFERING”

Maybe you need to take a break from the horse riding and do something else for once, Jealousy.  You’ve spent half of your Saturday playing with that horse.

15Jealousy: “DON’T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO DO, STUPID NARRATOR.   GO DO YOUR FUCKING JOB SOMEWHERE ELSE AND LEAVE ME AND SHAMROCK TO ROCK IN PEACE.”

Shamrock: “I just want to smell normal again.”

16Meanwhile, shit is about to go down in the living room.

Liam: “I have a terrible feeling about this, Angela.”

Angela: “I love having your company over Renauld, but I must please ask you to refrain from backing my son up against the wall and probably thinking about pummeling him to a pulp because of your post traumatic reading experiences.”

Seraph: “Are you kidding me, do it and I’ll throw a celebration!  This is going to be awesome!  I mean, SQUAWK!”

17Betel: “Oooh, oh yeah, my diet is definitely working.  Soon I’ll be down to model size!”

Follow your dream Betel.  Whatever that is.

18Evalin: “Sooo, you want revenge on Kindness that I most likely initiated, huh Renauld?  I’ll let you… but you must pay me a price…”

Eunice: “Pay a price, just let me at him, I’ll tear him a new asshole, not for Kindness, but because he’s too damn close to the trampoline!”

Liam: “I honestly don’t know why I came out here to hang out with you guys.”

Renauld: “I honestly don’t know why I’m still here…”

19Evalin then got a wild notion to go horse watching.

Evalin: “But look at that horse!  He’s so beefy!  You could make a Vault sized amount of burgers with that horse meat!”

Don’t be that creepy Evalin.

20Evalin: “Wow, horses are so majestic!  They really do teach me the value of friendship and love… and the importance of glue.”

Oh please leave the horse alone.

21Horse: “Check it lady.  If you would come a little closer, I will show you that I can fit your entire head inside my mouth.  Wanna try?”

Evalin: “Oh, are you threatening me, horse?!  Because that’s awesome.  You are a badass horse.”

22Betel: “She’s teaching me how to make vegetarian chili.  It sounds horrible, so please rekill me.”

I don’t know, sounds like a good idea for someone who won’t stop taking ice cream and juice out of the fridge just to put it back in half an hour later.

23Eunice finally reunited with her true love, and spent the night on the trampoline.

Eunice: “I forgot how free this makes me feel.  And I’m free~  Free fallin~”

24Envy: “So as you can see, it would be in your best intrest, and safety, if you read me a bedtime story.”

Happiness: “Look at me.  You know I need that story more than he does.  Read to me.”

Renauld: “Why haven’t I found the door?  Is there even a door here?  Am I in hell?!  Why would this happen to me, I’m a good human being!”

25Alright people.  I know Angela is a thing of beauty.  She’s also a happily married woman! You guys have GOT to learn to bug off now.

26Jealousy: “So let me guess.  You aren’t going to let me go to sleep ever again, are you.”

Beelzebub: “Nope.”

Jealousy: “That’s so terrible.  I like you.”

27The bus driver is also being a horrible person.  Is there really a need to park two blocks down from the house?

Bus driver: “Are you kidding me?  It’s the only satisfaction I get from being a bus driver.  Besides, they are calmer after they are all run out.”

28Bus driver: “See, they are now so tired, they won’t even get off the freaking bus.  I’ve done my job.”

Angela has also lost her mind going to work these days.

Angela: “I have to wear this.  It’s part of my work dealing in the political field.  I’m in charge of working with the alien governments and this helps to ease some comfort with our soon-to-be otherworldly overlords.”

Angela, we don’t have Seasons yet.

Angela: “Or does the government not want you to know that!”

…No.  I know that for a fact.

29Of course, she’s not being as weird as her sister I suppose.

Evalin: “I enjoy frequent strolls over water and mocking physics and religious affiliations in the face.”

30Evalin: “OK THIS WASN’T A GOOD IDEA.  Help me!”

This is going to push your schedule back for you Evalin.

31Evalin was busy chatting up her boss for some political fund money when Renauld finally passed away.  The children of the Fallen household all cried.

32OH

Evalin: “Yeah baby, that’s hot.  Gonna get me some.  Not for a promotion, I swear.  Ok, for a promotion.  Ok, both.  Win-win situations are the best.”

33Jealousy: “The trick is to jump up and down so he creaks in pain.  It’s about as realistic as I can get to a horse winny as I can get it.”

Beelzebub: “I was hoping we’d do something else besides this today, Jealousy.  Like have all the attention focused on me.  But whatev.”

34Beelzebub: “Is your idiot cousin aware that this isn’t his room?  I heard he was having a hard time adapting after his sleeping bag went missing, but doesn’t he know he has a room and a bed for himself?”

Jealousy: “I doubt it since he was born with an empty head case, so keep staring at him until he wakes up in terror.”

35Eunice: “Oh… sweet.”

Looks like someone wants to be a massive homewrecker in the worst kind of way.

Eunice: “sexy bb, pix plz k ;)”

36Speaking of Kindness being an assface and sleeping in Envy’s bed, I went to find Envy, since he usually knows on his own which bed is his.  He wasn’t even home, I guess he followed a kid home and was stuck standing in their yard for a few hours.

Envy: “Not a big deal.  Not like anyone in this family has been paying attention to me at all, much less anyone in any other family would notice me out here.”

I love this kid, and he really doesn’t get the attention he deserves.

37Marcela: “I see you found our bath house!”

Envy: “Does it have a fridge?”

Marcela: “It has a toilet.”

Envy: “Ugh.  It’ll do.”

38Envy: “I only need a toothbrush and this room, and I will never have to go home ever again.”

Curfew is up, Envy.

Envy: “Fine… I’ll follow my mother home then.”

39

And he did follow Evalin, who was back at the house…40Straight to this house, for some reason.  Envy, Evalin is NOT here.

Envy: “Oh I know that.  But I love this house… this is so much nicer than the shack we are stuck in.  Why can’t this family adopt me?  Take me in?  Take me away from the BS I’m stuck with at mom’s house?  That’s not fair!”

I guess you can say… Envy is green with envy?!  HAHA, I WAITED FOREVER TO MAKE THAT JOKE *flies into the sun*

41Yeah.  I regret letting the IFs out.  They are worse than stories.

Gabriel: “Hurray!  After we pillow fight in here, we’ll only have to pillow fight in the bathroom and Envy’s room, and then we can start all over in reverse order!”

Happiness: *pillow fights in a sleepwalk*

42Seriously Betel, that’s disgusting.

Betel: “Don’t look at me, it’s not mine!  Evalin gave it too me, said she got it at the store, but I haven’t seen that cream colored horse around in a while…”

Oh no.

43Angela: “I overheard you wanting to go on a date with your boss, Evalin… Good for you!”

44Evalin: “Why would you congratulate me on that, Angela?  You know, I’m starting to think you are the real psycho in this family.”

Me too.

45Evalin: “Alright!  We got cake in the house!”

You are oddly excited about this, Evalin.  Really, did you and your sister suddenly switch roles on me for the day or something?

46Oh my.  Maybe smiling just isn’t your thing, Evalin.

Evalin: “Am I going to have to smack a bitch?”

I’ll do something else now.

47Kids got back just as their party was starting, which is strange because Kindness isn’t home yet I don’t think, and today is his prom day as well.

Gabriel: “This is really taking out of my pillow fighting time.”

Envy: “Why can’t my IF come out already?  Lilith is so much better than this bozo.”

You’ll be lucky if I ever want to put up with another IF in this house.

48Happiness: “I wish for world wide happiness!”

Jealousy: “It sounds like you wish you want to be fat.”

Happiness: “Actually it’s a wish for me to travel to far away places, but yeah, you’re right, it kinda does.”

Jealousy: “Also, that damn creepy white horse is back.”

White Horse: “…Hi.”

49GOOD LORD, that face doesn’t suit you right now, Happiness.

Jealousy: “His eyebrows are inappropriate and disturbing.”

50Happiness: “Well that is appropriate for me right now.  As I am now inappropriate from this day on!”

Jealousy: “Are you really trying to be a smart ass with me?”

51Outside, the limo awaits for Kindness’ prom.  Guess who can’t be found anywhere?

52I went looking for him, and he’s at some random house in town taking a nap on someone’s bed.

YOU DIDN’T EVEN GO HOME WITH ANYONE TODAY, KINDNESS, YOU MORON

53Happiness got a more appealing makeover that didn’t look like he was a Tallahassee Secksie rip off.

Happiness: “Tal is my role model though.”

No he’s not.

Jealousy: “NO, GET THAT DAMN CAMERA OVER HERE THIS FUCKING SECOND!”

54Jealousy: “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!”

Urm, a pink dress?

Jealousy: “EXACTLY, GET IT THE FUCK OFF ME BEFORE I SET FIRE TO THESE CHILDREN!”

Marcela: “Haha, that’s so funny!  Your sister tells the most hilarious jokes, Envy!”

Jealousy: “THAT WASN’T A FUCKING JOKE!”

Jealousy got to roll Good Sense of Humor as her trait, even though right now you can’t really tell.

55Jealousy: “Aunt Astrid, GET OFF that damn playhouse and bring me my wardrobe.”

Astrid: “Hold on!  I just wanted to get some play time in this little house before you have it deleted.  It’s such a shame this thing was never played with ever :(”

Jealousy: “It will be a shame if it’s jammed through your sternum, now CHOP CHOP!

56Astrid: “Oh… hello beautiful.”

Elle: “No.  NO, Astrid.  We were raised as sisters, don’t you even THINK about it!”

57I decided that since Kindness is a moron for wasting a prom opportunity for NO REASON WHATSOEVER, I let Happiness and Jealousy use their one command from me in this life stage to go to prom.  Because I know THEY deserve it.  Unlike this idiot.

Kindess: “Heeeeey… I just realized something.  This… is my dad’s old house in town!  Now isn’t that something.”

Yes, I’m sure you find that fascinating, Kindness.

58Girl: “Hey asswipe, did you know that the school is right next door to our house?  And it sounds like a party is going on inside of it.  Strange right?  Maybe you should leave and go check it out, and possibly stay there.”

59Kindess: “I would, but I would hate to just walk over there before prom starts.  They are probably just setting it up for the big hour.  I’m just biding time until I something tells me to go there.  I’ve been looking forward to this big day for weeks now!”

Girl: “I’m sure you have.”

60Kindness: “I love dad’s old house.  He was such a great decorator, and had great taste in color.”

Just getting stupider and stupider.

61Kindness: “Mmmm… Robin Williams is such a great genie.  I feel like the happiest and luckiest guy in the world.”

Luck would be a stretch.

62Kindness: “Ok, it’s getting really late, when am I going to get that notification that it’s prom time, where’s the limo?”

63Kindness: “What?!  WHAT DO YOU MEAN PROM IS OVER?!  I MISSED IT?!”

Glad you finally caught on and caught up with the rest of us, Kindness.

As you can guess from the notifications, Jealousy had a grand old time in her own way.  Happiness didn’t as much.  Either way, they both had a better time than Kindness.

64

Kindness: “Oh well, can only blame myself for that.  I will head on home now.”

Of course now is the time you go home.  I’m sure you probably wouldn’t if you had your sleeping bag still though, but whatever.
65I’ll wrap this chapter up with a better shot of Happiness, who looks a lot like his brother, but less insanely happy looking about everything, and more mischievous.  Kind of like an “eviler” Kindness, if you want to say that.

Happiness: “Yeah, I’m a bad boy now!  I put three lumps of sugar in everyone’s coffee in the morning instead of the usual two!  Everyone will get a slight sugar rush!  I’m so inappropriate!  Hee hee hee!”

66Jealousy: “I have taught him well.  Actually I have taught him nothing because I can’t really stand either of them, but at least I don’t want to punch him in the face as hard as I want to punch Kindness’.”

Jealousy looks like a meaner Eunice, and if she had a riding crop, she’d be a perfect teenage Agatha Trenchbull or something.

Jealousy: “A riding crop sounds like I’m getting a horse.  I’ll name him Shamrock.  Shamrock the Killer.”

Let’s not.

What’s Good Mah Sistahs and Brothahs?

I haven’t updated the Fallen family in over a month and  I do apologize but I have reasons.  I’ve come to the realization that my game is broken again, this time it freezes up whenever I need to do something in buy mode/CAS/town mode and I have to force quit it, and since 60% of gameplay involves changing the color of various bookshelves and toilets on the lot, it’s not going very well for my legacies at the moment.  I don’t know if it was a recent patch or a funny CC download, despite the fact that it was acting fine before since the last time either of that has happened… so I don’t know.

I AM WORKING ON IT, NO BODY PANIC

UNTIL THEN, HAVE A PIC OF A BALLOONICORN SETTING A POND ON FIRE

Screenshot-5I SAID STOP PANICKING