Holanichiwa my fellow simmers! It’s been a month, and a crazy month it has been! First an ass ton of crashes and freezes that seem to be done with UNTIL THE NEXT PATCH and after that, my final finals were happening this month! That’s right, I graduated college yesterday, and now I have NO IDEA WHAT I’M GOING TO DO FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, but that’s ok
(ACTUALLY IT’S NOT )
Last chapter, things. It ended with Angela’s bird, Seraph, dying during Envy’s birthday/Evalin’s donation party.
Jealousy: “What the hell, I wait two hours to see what everyone is bitching about and it’s just a dead bird! Shit, I could be in bed by now! Good night you losers!”
Kindness: “I’M BACK SERAPH, OH BOO HOO HOO, DEATH WHY DID YOU TAKE HIM SO YOUNG WHY”
Kindness: “SOB, I WILL NEVER FIND MY BEDROOM AT THIS RATE, BUT I KNOW SERAPH WOULD WANT ME TO KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVED HIM AND THOUGHT ABOUT FEEDING HIM ONCE”
Jealousy: “Alright, you two are getting way too fucking rediculous.”
Kindness: “Well popsicles, even I’m not that tired yet. Yeah I am. Maybe I’ll only cry for 30 more minutes or so.”
Evalin: “They were crying so long that the bird decomposed into a pile of crap. Or maybe he just sunk down in all the shit in the bottom of this damn cage. Who the hell knows when the last time this damn thing was cleaned out.”
Betel: “It’s been 12 hours, but who’s counting when they are having this much fun :D”
Jealousy: “Stupid house… always… route failing…”
Angela: “Don’t diss my house layout, sister! I think the house is beautiful! And everyone else thinks the house is beautiful! Liam will agree with me, Liam, you have my back on this, right?!”
Liam: “Dear, I think I’ve become your back…”
Speaking of Angela, her hair is finally back, since it vanished two chapters ago. I’d like to thank my game for randomly giving it back… though I think there was NO REAL REASON it vanished on me in the first place… thanks for showing back up since the party, hair… I guess.
Moving on to Envy, I don’t spend enough time on this boy, sadly enough. I absolutely adore him, and his stunning eyes. I know they were inherited by Evalin, but there’s just something about them on Envy that just looks so breathtaking.
Envy: “I AM YOUR MASTER AND THE DARK HARBRINGER, oh hell what was that, the voices are back”
Very green. Won’t get seen a lot unfortunately.
Betel: “You mean, they won’t come over and just play with me?!”
Evalin: “Who the hell wants to play hopscotch with a bone-maid that can’t even keep her kneecaps properly attached to her fucking legs?!”
Evalin: “Yes, score one for the Ole’ Evaliminator! I have insulted the bone-maid and have made her cry!”
Jealousy: “Her tears will be the guesso on my fantastic artworks of evil! Bwa ha ha ha!”
Happiness: “Good going mother, you didn’t get away from the tub long enough for me to stop wetting myself, now I’m going to need to take another 2 hour bath!”
Angela: “Goodness gracious, Happiness, I’m so sorry! It’s so hard to maneuver in a room when I need two football fields of space in order to function! How will this ever get resolved?!”
Evalin: “YES, spend money that we don’t have! Bwa ha ha! SPEND SPEND SPEND!”
Kindess: “Well it doesn’t look like a bathroom…”
On “Evalin’s side” of the house, a game room was added on, and the foosball table and the art easel were stuck up in it for the time being.
Evalin: “I TOLD you to spend money we don’t have! Damn. I could have robbed a bank and everything, but noooooooo.”
Angela: “Doesn’t help that there are now three people in this room, confusing my poor routing circulation.”
Happiness: “This is how I’m going to die, aren’t I?”
Envy: “Damn, I thought I had peed myself at first I was the first one here to complain about it…”
Yeah, but Kindness has to take the spotlight, naturally.
Evalin: “Gah, stinky, wet and itchy… I just had these evil tights washed too.”
Envy: “At least it was just you who saw me, cake.”
Envy: “She doesn’t count. She’s just a ditzy moron.”
Betel: “I finally get off the hopscotch board, to do my job, and I still get yelled at. Sigh, there’s just nothing I can do right it seems…”
Liam: “Envy, I’m really worried, we went broke doing add ons to the house, we only had about $16 after all the construction! Oh man, while I was talking to you, we somehow managed to lose $12 more dollars! Oh man oh man, if we go broke, what are we supposed to do?”
Liam: “But… it’s only $5! Heck, even Slenderman is feeling the crunch and had to get a day job in accounting!”
This is one of those rare times where the sisters finally had some alone time for each other, that they haven’t had since Liam moved in. It was sweet that they wanted to jump with each other for a bit.
Angela: “It’s so nice to finally spend some quality time with you, sister. After all the hairballs we go through, it’s still good to know how much we love each other.”
Evalin: “I’ll say, and to think, you’ve lasted longer than I thought you would in this house with me and my family. I’ll give you props for that.”
Angela: “That’s one of the sweetest things you could ever say to me. Thank you, Evalin.”
Liam: “Well hello to you too, Eunice. Nice night tonight, isn’t it!”
Liam: “OH NO, NOT THE SWEATER, I THOUGHT IT WAS LOVELY”
Angela: “As long as Eunice aren’t going back to lighting his shoes on fire, and Liam putting rings of salt around her bed anymore, I think everything in the family is going to be A-ok!”
I don’t think Gabriel ever goes to his little doll-mode much anymore.
Eunice: “I do admit, the bone-maid does make a mean meal of horse brains. Good for the intestine, not so much if it’s confused for cow brains, of an infected mad cow. Sigh. Never gonna make that mistake again.”
I’m going to ignore Eunice’s ramblings and question the possible hidden message of “s Z” in her empty brain bowl. Maybe it’s a secret code for a Sims secret? Or the job of a crappy as hell MS Paint copy/paste job? Who knows!
Evalin: “Oh, we are going to do much more than just hang, my dear boss lady…”
I guess they lost the sex game.
Genevieve: “Probably not good enough for a promotion. Yeah, it wasn’t.”
Jealousy: “Who the balls comes to a night club at 12 in the afternoon?!”
Eunice: “Your dumb flighty Aunt Angela, that’s who.”
Envy: “Kindness, at least get your dumb ass out of the car.”
Kindness: “But it’s so comfortable in here…”
Way to put some effort into it.
Liam: “Yeah, I should have saved it until I got home. The lighting in this place is terrible! Anyone got a table lamp?”
Happiness: “Alright, the trick is to not have any clue what this game is, what this stick even does, and wonder why everyone calls it pool, since this is no where near the local swimming lot. I’m going to make a while guess and poke these Lord English eyeballs around on this table and see what happens!”
Oh. That’s going to leave, um, some brain damage
Gnome That Was Going To Get Knocked Over: “Up top, Dawg!”
Jealousy: “I think I’m going to tag along with you, Uncle Lili. I’m starting to think that this is a night club for old people.”
Proprietor: “Well we do have the Early Bird Special: Tipsy Twerking Tuesday for Skin Tags!”
Jealousy: “Yeah, I’m out.”
So nice to see him so happy.
Happiness: “It’s fine, it’s Farmville: Sahara Desert Edition! The challenge is to actually get something to grow! This is exciting.”
After that trauma to your cranium, I’m sure you are having the time of your life, kid.
Kindness: “Yep, been in here for a good hour or so! I’m having the time of my life… actually I’m trying to look miserable here, but my extremely gleeful face isn’t permitting me to do so… see, my manhood got sucked into a vent, and uh, can you call my mother up here right quick?”
Happiness: “With that, I think it’s time I went home as well.”
Allen: “I, uh, could have gone on without knowing that?!”
Star: “But wait, aren’t you married? This isn’t your wife!”
Evalin: “Look at me care, you plant-sim wannabe. Genevieve, back to the booth!”
Evalin: “Yadda, yadda, yadda, that’s the sound of my clothes not being torn from my body, Genevieve, now chop chop!”
Francisca: “I’ve been seeing that broken strut a lot lately around on the interwebs. I wonder what’s causing it.”
I do too, actually.
Eunice: “Sigh, I guess sex things, I suppose?”
Evalin: “Damn straight, woman, and I’m hungry for more.”
Eunice: “Well, at least I know at the end of the day you’ll still come back to me? I don’t know, I’ve been horny all day too, let’s just do this.”
And the still loving couple (I don’t know what this weird triangle is anymore??) fall asleep after their romp, together, with Evalin still rolling Genevieve wants, and Eunice suffering pillow-induced brain damage, possibly plotting away to rid herself of her lover’s lover??
Maybe we shall see next time!
THE FUCK, IT’S NOT USUALLY THIS SLOW
I DIDN’T EVEN PAUSE YOU, STUPID UPDATE
UNPAUSE YOU BASTARD, STOP WASTING MY TIME
WILL IT EVEN AID IN MY QUEST TO FIX MY PROBLEMS?!
WHY SHOULD IT?!