Archive | April 2013

Afternoon Nightclub

Holanichiwa my fellow simmers!  It’s been a month, and a crazy month it has been!  First an ass ton of crashes and freezes that seem to be done with UNTIL THE NEXT PATCH and after that, my final finals were happening this month!  That’s right, I graduated college yesterday, and now I have NO IDEA WHAT I’M GOING TO DO FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, but that’s ok (ACTUALLY IT’S NOT )

Last chapter, things.  It ended with Angela’s bird, Seraph, dying during Envy’s birthday/Evalin’s donation party.

1Kindness: “I was actually on my way back to bed, but then I remembered, Seraph is dead!  I came back to grieve again!  This poor bird!!”

2Envy: “Dude, any excuse to not go to sleep, you’ll take it.”

Jealousy: “What the hell, I wait two hours to see what everyone is bitching about and it’s just a dead bird!  Shit, I could be in bed by now!  Good night you losers!”

3Jealousy: *PLOP*

Kindness: “I’M BACK SERAPH, OH BOO HOO HOO, DEATH WHY DID YOU TAKE HIM SO YOUNG WHY”

4Envy: “I LIKED SERAPH A LOT, HE WAS THE SMARTEST ONE IN THE HOUSE, ESPECIALLY SMARTER THAN YOU KINDNESS”

Kindness: “SOB, I WILL NEVER FIND MY BEDROOM AT THIS RATE, BUT I KNOW SERAPH WOULD WANT ME TO KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVED HIM AND THOUGHT ABOUT FEEDING HIM ONCE”

Jealousy: “Alright, you two are getting way too fucking rediculous.”

5Envy: “Fine, I’ll go to bed already, damn *PLOP*”

Kindness: “Well popsicles, even I’m not that tired yet.  Yeah I am.  Maybe I’ll only cry for 30 more minutes or so.”

6Eventually it got too ridiculous and I had to wake Evalin up to clean out the bird cage.

Evalin: “They were crying so long that the bird decomposed into a pile of crap.  Or maybe he just sunk down in all the shit in the bottom of this damn cage.  Who the hell knows when the last time this damn thing was cleaned out.”

7MEANWHILE, IN BETELGEUSE’S NATURAL HABITAT

Betel: “It’s been 12 hours, but who’s counting when they are having this much fun :D”

8Jealousy’s second fail for the night, poor thing, I don’t think she ever found the bed in time.

Jealousy: “Stupid house… always… route failing…”

9Evalin: “Yeah, about this house, Angela.  I think it’s time we got something that wasn’t out of your shitty design.”

Angela: “Don’t diss my house layout, sister!  I think the house is beautiful!  And everyone else thinks the house is beautiful!  Liam will agree with me, Liam, you have my back on this, right?!”

Liam: “Dear, I think I’ve become your back…”

10Speaking of Angela, her hair is finally back, since it vanished two chapters ago.  I’d like to thank my game for randomly giving it back… though I think there was NO REAL REASON it vanished on me in the first place… thanks for showing back up since the party, hair… I guess.

11Moving on to Envy, I don’t spend enough time on this boy, sadly enough.  I absolutely adore him, and his stunning eyes.  I know they were inherited by Evalin, but there’s just something about them on Envy that just looks so breathtaking.

12That, and we don’t get to see them as often because he keeps doing stuff like this.

Envy: “I AM YOUR MASTER AND THE DARK HARBRINGER, oh hell what was that, the voices are back”

…Yeah…

13Since he grew up, he got a extension on his bedroom, and here it is seen from his bed.

Very green.  Won’t get seen a lot unfortunately.

14Evalin kept rolling wants to play hopscotch with the children of the house and since Betel won’t get her bony ass off of the original, I had to buy another one just for Evalin’s needs.

Betel: “You mean, they won’t come over and just play with me?!”

Evalin: “Who the hell wants to play hopscotch with a bone-maid that can’t even keep her kneecaps properly attached to her fucking legs?!”

15Betel: “You don’t have to be so mean… It’s not my fault my kneecaps float…”

Evalin: “Yes, score one for the Ole’ Evaliminator!  I have insulted the bone-maid and have made her cry!”

Jealousy: “Her tears will be the guesso on my fantastic artworks of evil!  Bwa ha ha ha!”

16Kindness: “Uh oh!  Apparently there is a line for the bathroom, and for once, I’m not the cause of this problem!  I wonder what’s the hold up?”

17Apparently, Happiness and his mother are both fighting over their rights to the tiny bathroom in the house, and route failing upon every time they “reached a conclusion”.

Happiness: “Good going mother, you didn’t get away from the tub long enough for me to stop wetting myself, now I’m going to need to take another 2 hour bath!”

Angela: “Goodness gracious, Happiness, I’m so sorry!  It’s so hard to maneuver in a room when I need two football fields of space in order to function!  How will this ever get resolved?!”

18Finally I caved and built onto the house (granted, this was at the time game freezes were high and every time I went in buy mode, the game would conk out.  I did good getting what I got done done.)

Evalin: “YES, spend money that we don’t have!  Bwa ha ha!  SPEND SPEND SPEND!”

Kindess: “Well it doesn’t look like a bathroom…”

On “Evalin’s side” of the house, a game room was added on, and the foosball table and the art easel were stuck up in it for the time being.

19Other side of the house is the beginning of the bathroom… and it’s empty because we ran out of funds for the actual construction of the rooms.

Evalin: “I TOLD you to spend money we don’t have!  Damn.  I could have robbed a bank and everything, but noooooooo.”

20Also, the original bathroom was given a recoloring, so they weren’t standing in a black hole of a bathroom anymore.

Angela: “Doesn’t help that there are now three people in this room, confusing my poor routing circulation.”

Gabriel: “Sup.”

Happiness: “This is how I’m going to die, aren’t I?”

21Kindness: “Hey guys!  I found out how to open the door!  But all the force I used to get the door knob to turn pressed down on my bladder, and I wetted everywhere.  Hand me a wet nap.”

Envy: “Damn, I thought I had peed myself at first I was the first one here to complain about it…”

Yeah, but Kindness has to take the spotlight, naturally.

22Evalin, was a close second, of course, she couldn’t let her family see her in a moment of weakness, so she took it to the backyard.

Evalin: “Gah, stinky, wet and itchy… I just had these evil tights washed too.”

23And finally, rounding out in last place, is Envy, with a “I forgot what I was doing, and started doing other stuff, and then oh no, I peed myself” wetting.

Envy: “At least it was just you who saw me, cake.”

24Angela: *Snort* “Haha, the kid is talking to an inanimate edible, that’s so funny!”

Envy: “She doesn’t count.  She’s just a ditzy moron.”

25Angela: “What’s wrong with you, Betel?!  You saw me wanting to clean that stove, and then you waltz right in, push in front of me and clean it up anyway?!  That’s not very nice of you!”

Betel: “I finally get off the hopscotch board, to do my job, and I still get yelled at.  Sigh, there’s just nothing I can do right it seems…”

26Liam: “Envy, I’m really worried, we went broke doing add ons to the house, we only had about $16 after all the construction!  Oh man, while I was talking to you, we somehow managed to lose $12 more dollars!  Oh man oh man, if we go broke, what are we supposed to do?”

27Envy: “Dude, if that’s your way of trying to get me to get a part-time job or something, you can go stick it out the side of your ass, because that’s not my problem, bro.”

Liam: “But… it’s only $5!  Heck, even Slenderman is feeling the crunch and had to get a day job in accounting!”

28Slenderman: “MAKIN’ BANK, HOMIE G”

29This is one of those rare times where the sisters finally had some alone time for each other, that they haven’t had since Liam moved in.  It was sweet that they wanted to jump with each other for a bit.

Angela: “It’s so nice to finally spend some quality time with you, sister.  After all the hairballs we go through, it’s still good to know how much we love each other.”

Evalin: “I’ll say, and to think, you’ve lasted longer than I thought you would in this house with me and my family.  I’ll give you props for that.”

Angela: “That’s one of the sweetest things you could ever say to me.  Thank you, Evalin.”

30Meanwhile, the spouses were also interacting.

Eunice: “BLARGHAGOHDA”

Liam: “Well hello to you too, Eunice.  Nice night tonight, isn’t it!”

31Eunice: “IT’S NICE, NOT UNLIKE YOUR UGLY AS HELL SWEATER, LIAM”

Liam: “OH NO, NOT THE SWEATER, I THOUGHT IT WAS LOVELY”

Angela: “As long as Eunice aren’t going back to lighting his shoes on fire, and Liam putting rings of salt around her bed anymore, I think everything in the family is going to be A-ok!”

32Gabriel: “YOOOOOOOO, THAT’S MY BOIIIIIII”

I don’t think Gabriel ever goes to his little doll-mode much anymore.

33Evalin: “She was only off of it for a few hours, but the damn bonesack is back on the hopscotch board.  I think maybe we need to get a dog, or a pack of dogs.  Or a bone hungry wolf.  Yeah.”

34Eunice: “I do admit, the bone-maid does make a mean meal of horse brains.  Good for the intestine, not so much if it’s confused for cow brains, of an infected mad cow.  Sigh.  Never gonna make that mistake again.”

35I’m going to ignore Eunice’s ramblings and question the possible hidden message of “s Z” in her empty brain bowl.  Maybe it’s a secret code for a Sims secret?  Or the job of a crappy as hell MS Paint  copy/paste job?  Who knows!

36Well, someone is making their way downtown…

37Genevieve: “It’s so nice to be in the presence of one of the town’s mayors, it’s an honor to meet you in a back alley hidden away from your family just so we can hang, Evalin!”

Evalin: “Oh, we are going to do much more than just hang, my dear boss lady…”

38And then they went to a photo booth stand and played 4 Snapshots in Heaven, which is probably a real sex game somewhere.  Good lord, I hope not.

39Genevieve: “Well.  It’s a memory, I’ll give it that.”

I guess they lost the sex game.

40Evalin: “Yeaaaah… these are going straight on my fridge at home, so Liam can vomit in his morning coffee.”

Genevieve: “Probably not good enough for a promotion.  Yeah, it wasn’t.”

41Meanwhile, the rest of the family were packed up and sent on a family outing, and Angela picked a nice family friendly spot, such as the local night club.

Jealousy: “Who the balls comes to a night club at 12 in the afternoon?!”

Eunice: “Your dumb flighty Aunt Angela, that’s who.”

Envy: “Kindness, at least get your dumb ass out of the car.”

Kindness: “But it’s so comfortable in here…”

42Angela: “Are they coming?  Did I pick a good spot? I thought it was a very nice place to come to after Simon stood me up for our outing the other day.”

43Eunice: “………………….Yeah, I’m going home.”

Way to put some effort into it.

44At least she didn’t bullshit me like Liam did.  He made it in, but sat down and read a book, something he could have done any other time at home, the moron.

Liam: “Yeah, I should have saved it until I got home.  The lighting in this place is terrible!  Anyone got a table lamp?”

45Happiness: “Alright, I’m about to try this trick I made up.  It’s called, ehh, Something Something, I’m Going To Try To Knock This Gnome Guy Over, yeah!”

46Happiness: “Alright, the trick is to not have any clue what this game is, what this stick even does, and wonder why everyone calls it pool, since this is no where near the local swimming lot.  I’m going to make a while guess and poke these Lord English eyeballs around on this table and see what happens!”

47

Oh.  That’s going to leave, um, some brain damage

Gnome That Was Going To Get Knocked Over: “Up top, Dawg!”

48Liam: “I gave up, I’ll just go home.”

Jealousy: “I think I’m going to tag along with you, Uncle Lili.  I’m starting to think that this is a night club for old people.”

Proprietor: “Well we do have the Early Bird Special:  Tipsy Twerking Tuesday for Skin Tags!”

Jealousy: “Yeah, I’m out.”

49Envy: “Wow, why can’t we have this game at home?!  The interaction, the graphics… and it doesn’t crash four minutes into the game!  This is the greatest game ever made!”

So nice to see him so happy.

50Happiness: “The game I’m playing is awesome too, I think this one is possibly even more fun than the last one I tried with that stick and gnome!”

51Uh, you sure that game isn’t broke or anything?

Happiness: “It’s fine, it’s Farmville: Sahara Desert Edition!  The challenge is to actually get something to grow!  This is exciting.”

After that trauma to your cranium, I’m sure you are having the time of your life, kid.

52I hadn’t even noticed Kindness had snuck by upstairs, but I found him, in the little swimming pool next to the arcade area.

Kindness: “Yep, been in here for a good hour or so!  I’m having the time of my life… actually I’m trying to look miserable here, but my extremely gleeful face isn’t permitting me to do so… see, my manhood got sucked into a vent, and uh, can you call my mother up here right quick?”

Happiness: “With that, I think it’s time I went home as well.”

53Evalin: “Wanna be let in on a little secret, Mr. Proprietor man?  I sexed up my boss in your little photobooth, and I want to do it again!”

Allen: “I, uh, could have gone on without knowing that?!”

Star: “But wait, aren’t you married?  This isn’t your wife!”

Evalin: “Look at me care, you plant-sim wannabe.  Genevieve, back to the booth!”

54Genevieve: “So excited I am for round two that I ran so fast that I smashed myself into the building.  After this lovemaking session, I got to go to the hospital, Evalin.”

Evalin: “Yadda, yadda, yadda, that’s the sound of my clothes not being torn from my body, Genevieve, now chop chop!”

55While Evalin is in the middle of her infidelity, have a fabulous elderly glitch midget strutting his stuff around the yard.

Francisca: “I’ve been seeing that broken strut a lot lately around on the interwebs.  I wonder what’s causing it.”

I do too, actually.

56Evalin: “Yo, wife!  Wanna guess what I’ve been doing all night long with my boss lady?!”

Eunice: “Sigh, I guess sex things, I suppose?”

Evalin: “Damn straight, woman, and I’m hungry for more.”

Eunice: “Well, at least I know at the end of the day you’ll still come back to me?  I don’t know, I’ve been horny all day too, let’s just do this.”

57And the still loving couple (I don’t know what this weird triangle is anymore??) fall asleep after their romp, together, with Evalin still rolling Genevieve wants, and Eunice suffering pillow-induced brain damage, possibly plotting away to rid herself of her lover’s lover??

Maybe we shall see next time!

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Let’s Patch! With Miss Miserie

jkllOh lookie loo!  Yet another update for my wonky as hell game!  Maybe this one will aid in the weird crashes and freezes I keep getting for reasons that seem to keep changing on me!  One can only hope!

whathafuckOh what’s this?  202 MB for the patch?  At a 11 KB PER SECOND RATE?!

THE FUCK, IT’S NOT USUALLY THIS SLOW

hgdhfh*20 FUCKING MINUTES LATER*

I DIDN’T EVEN PAUSE YOU, STUPID UPDATE

UNPAUSE YOU BASTARD, STOP WASTING MY TIME

WILL IT EVEN AID IN MY QUEST TO FIX MY PROBLEMS?!

WHY SHOULD IT?!