Archive | May 2013

How to Defriend your Friends

Welcome back to the Fallens.  Last chapter was about a month ago, and to make up for it, this chapter is twice as long.  Double the pleasure, double the fun.

I could have sworn I made that joke before.  Anyway, there will also be a little surprise at the end of this chapter as well.  So here we go!

Last chapter there was about 50 pictures of nothing really.  The family went to the club and twerked nothing and by the end of it, Kindness got arrested.

1See?  Here he is turning himself in to the cops.

Kindness: “I called the cops when I realized I stayed at the club way past my curfew.  Oh, I sure hope my parents don’t ground me too long for staying out in town at 11:05!”

I really think I hate you, kid.

2Cop Lady: “You could have at least brightened up this dark as hell picture.  I thought I was a child of Death for a whole three seconds there.”

Sorry, I was too lazy this chapter to open Photoshop.  Or at least invest in a lighting mod or something.  Nighttime in Hidden Springs is brutal.

3Kindness: “Before you ground me forever dad, I want you to know that I turned myself in willingly to the cops.  I even called the police on myself.  I’m so sorry for breaking the law and ignoring curfew, I didn’t know what I was thinking!  I accept my punishment fully and hope that one day, you and mom will forgive me for what I’ve done.”

4Liam: “How am I supposed to be mad at you if you keep doing that puppy dog face and knowing you are in the wrong.  Sigh.  I can’t be mad at you forever.

You’re grounded for three weeks.”

Kindness: “WHAT, I BEGGED FOR FORGIVENESS AND EVERYTHING”

5Happiness: “Oh man, if Kindness is grounded for staying at the club all night like that, what’s dad going to do when he finds out YOU broke the tub, Gabriel?!”

Gabriel: “I BROKE THE TUB?!  OH NO, I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER USING THE TUB!! WHAT DO I DOOOOOO”

6

Anyone remember the bone maid of ours?  Still hopscotching.

Betel: “It’s so nice to finally have a friend to hopscotch with!  I’ll never forget this day, that I finally got someone to play with me! :)”

Horse: “I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING”7Kindness: “I suddenly remembered something, brother!  I’m grounded!  I’m not supposed to leave the house at all.  So I suppose I better not go to school…. take good notes for me, will you please :)”

Happiness: “Sigh… I knew I should have taken the fall for Gabriel over the tub incident.  That would have been the nice thing for me to do… then I wouldn’t have go to school either…”

Why does the game feel the need to do that?  You’re grounded, but you can’t go to school, so you fail, and you keep getting in trouble?? LOGIC, EA?

8Angela: “Oh, I can’t be mad at my boy forever.  Don’t worry about what your father said about being grounded, Kindness, you’re free to go!”

Kindness: “Gee, that’s swell!  Thanks so much mom!”

9Angela: “Now that that’s out of the way… why aren’t you in school right now young man?!  You’re skipping?!  Skipping for what!?  You’re GROUNDED again, mister!”

Kindess: “Wha-where’s the logic in that, mom?!  I was “skipping” because I was grounded!”

SEE WHAT I MEAN

10Angela: “Oh, WOW, that was silly of me.  Ok, you are off the hook for now, Kindness.  Now will you please go to school before you start failing please?”

Kindness: “Thanks but no thanks.  I’m going to go fishing today, after all this trouble you guys are causing me, I need something to help me clear my head and think straight again!”

11Angela: “Ugh, why are you such a problem child?!”

12Kindness: “I don’t WANT to go to school today, mother!  I need a day off, and I think today is a perfect day for me to at least have one day to myself, alright?!”

Yo asshole, she already left for work because you’re stupid self was making her late.  You won, go play stupid somewhere else.

14Nothing like playing sports on a school night in your pajamas at four in the morning, eh Happiness?

Happiness: “My big bro is teaching me how to play football!  I think I got the ball thing downpat!”

15Kindness: “I have taught you well, little bro!”

When both of you don’t go to school in the morning because you passed out in the floor and then you both fail your way into a four week grounding, don’t come crying to me.

16Kindness: “Oh nice, I didn’t know we were getting our own indoor lake!  The one on the backyard is cool, but this is absolutely fantastic!”

Well this is what happens when the live-in house keeper takes to playing hopscotch in the backyard for the rest of eternity.

Betel: “I’M GOING FOR THE RECORD”

17Evalin: “You know what I haven’t had in about 24 hours?  Dat ass.”

Eunice: “Alright, but remember that after this it’s your turn to help the kids do their homework tonight.”

Evalin: “Like I give a shit.”

Eunice: “You’re right, we’ve never helped them do a damn thing.”

18Evalin is still a massive horndog for her woman.  And her other woman on the side that Eunice still hasn’t really caught on to yet.

19I lost count with Betel.  I think it’s been a week on that damn hopscotch board?

Betel: “Sounds about right.”

Envy: “I came to hang out with you Betel, but you are hogging that fucking mat like no one’s business.  Oh well, the trampoline’s been neglected lately.”

20Jealousy: “So little brother, our mother’s legacy days are about to run it’s course.  As you know, being the most evil of the two of us, I am going to be the star of the show, and you know what that makes you, right?”

Envy: “Dead?  You’re going to kill me when you take over, aren’t you?”

21Jealousy: “Aw, who told you?  I mean, why no, I’d love for you to stay around the house and um.  Betel needs a hopscotch buddy for the rest of forever, you know?”

Envy: “Nope.”

Betel: “Nope.”

22Evalin: “Dayum, I’m looking fine as a fucking wine, sexy as ever there Evalin, girl!  Going to get some more charisma today, going to get that promotion over my sister and then HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HELL IS THAT”

UWAAAHFDHSAUIGLJDAK

23OH, it’s just a horse.  In the bathroom under construction.  STUCK in the bathroom under construction.

Horse: “How door?  Horse got in, but door happen!  Door mean! Help horse!”

I swear, I turned the game on and then suddenly BAM, a horse stuck in the bathroom.  The walls are completely closed all the way around and I have no other idea how it could have gotten in there, other than fall in through the roof from an over passing plane, burrowing in from the floor, or slamming into the walls so hard that he became Shadowcat for all of three seconds.

24In the end, I didn’t want the horse dying in the bathroom or something, so I had to tear the wall down so he could escape.

25Freaking horse, moonwalked out of the bathroom.  I just don’t understand how horses work.

Horse: “After this kind of trauma I’M going to be the one that needs to go fishing to clear my head!”

26And finally, the world’s stupidest, yet magical horse was finally free from his imprisonment.

No one was really doing anything at the house, so I followed the horse to it’s next destination.

27It went all the way to some open pasture, and got stuck there too.

Horse: “How do?!  Pasture confuse horse!  How pasture work?!”

Yeah, that horse is going to die.

28FUCKING KINDESS

WHY CAN’T YOU FUNCTION FOR MORE THAN THREE MINUTES WITHOUT ME HAVING TO BABYSIT YOUR ASS

29Kindness: “I didn’t feel like a trip to the theater was very educating for a boy such as myself.  Besides, this autobiography of Kirstie Alley isn’t going to read itself!”

I hope you get a papercut.

30DOES SHE

LOOK LIKE SHE WANTS TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU

31Angela: “All these people don’t seem to understand that I’m a happily married woman!  I hate to have to break their hearts, but I can’t cheat on my dear Liam and HOW DID YOU GET IN THE HOUSE”

Apparently I left the wall down in the bathroom still…

32Angela: “Why, aren’t you such a sweet little fellow.  I’d hate to have to escort you from my house.  How would you like to live with us, little puppy?  My life has been a little lonely since Seraph passed away.”

Stray: “I shouldn’t really… I need to go “home”…”

Mmm, nah, you’re staying dog.  I like you.

33And that’s how Angela got her family it’s own little dog.  This is Ophaniel, and I promise, he doesn’t have as bad of an underbite as he wants you to believe.

Ophaniel: “Angela said that I’m too cute and fluffy to look fierce.  I’m going to damn well try to though.”

She’s right though, it’s not working for you, Ophaniel.

34Angela: “Kindness…”

Kindness: “I know what you’re thinking mom, and I want to just say I’m so sorry.  I didn’t think that field trip was right for me, and I stayed behind at school to continue a proper education.  That’s all I did, mother!  I am just trying to further myself in my future career and push myself.  I’m going to be big one day.”

35Angela: “Oh your father told me to punish you when you did crazy things as a child.  But I didn’t want to be the cruel parent!  I really didn’t!  I should have listened to your father when he suggested five minute time outs, I really should have!”

Kindness: “WHOA mom, that’s harsh”

36Liam and Angela still celebrate Angela’s bachelorette party, by the way.

Angela: “YOUR SON CUT SCHOOL TO SIT ON THE SIDEWALK AND READ NONFICTIONS, CONGRADULATIONS LIAM”

Liam: “UGHGUAHGGLAGAUGH”

36Whoa slow down there, Casanova.

37Jealousy: “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS”

A dog ball.  For the new dog.

Jealousy: “I DON’T WANT A DOG.  I WANTED A TASMANIAN DEVIL!  NO ONE IN THIS FAMILY LISTENS TO ME”

38Genevieve: “So… ready to do this thing, babe?”

Evalin: “Hold your shit, we have witnesses…”

Fabulous repairman midget: “Oh, it’s just little old me… get it, because I’m little and old?  I’m a funny guy.”

39And then Evalin and Genevieve ground pounded to the opening premiere of the reopening of Monsters Vs. Aliens.

42Fabulous Midget: “I sense some evil going on in this building at this very moment.”

Yeah well, I sense some evil going on through you.  Grow a neck already.

41While Evalin was rolling MORE sex wishes for Genevieve, her sister was wishing to befriend her children.

Liam: “Just like the wonderful mother I know my wife is.”

Angela: “-And you have a fabulous afternoon, Envy, and there’s plenty of dinner in the kitchen whenever you get hungry!”

Envy: “No offense Aunt Angie, but I don’t really care.”

Angela: “Nonsense!  All growing boys like yourself need a good auntie to look after you!  And I love you and your sister, don’t ever forget that!”

Envy: “Fuck my life.”

43Angela: “You know what, let’s throw a campaign party!  Let’s see who’s in our friends list… hello how would you like to… aren’t you a little young to be talking about that kind of stuff with me, Eduardo?”

Eduardo: “How would you like to do that kind of stuff with me for my 18th birthday, Mrs. Fallen?”

Angela: “Maybe you shouldn’t show up for my party tonight, Eduardo.”

44The party was pretty lame and I didn’t document it.  Angela got a $17000 haul from it though.

Envy: “Whoa, slow down little lady?  Why such the big hurry?”

45Envy: “Oh I see.  Carry on your way then.”

The girl was given a makeover, but it didn’t help.

46I felt that since Angela now has a dog, it’s only fair to give Evalin’s side of the family a pet too, especially since this is technically Angela’s second.  So while I was hunting around town for a stray to force into my family since I’m too impatient to work with one to move in and too impatient to make Evalin wake up to order one through the adoption service, I accidentally adopted Betelgeuse into the family instead.

Betel: “But I’m not a cat!  DAMMIT!  Why would you finally get me to stop playing hopscotch for this crap!  Sigh, now I’m hungry.”

I don’t really need another unnessesary to babysit in this family, so I force killed her and had to re-add her to the family.

47But Evalin did get a cat, and I found this Manx that I absolutely loved, and his name is Mephistopheles.

Mephistopheles: “This is how being a cat works, correct?  Curse this inferior earth body, I must possess something much more superior… but first… a 9 hour cat nap…”

48Betel: “Ta da!  And that’s how a real magic trick is performed!  Take note, magicians!”

From being deleted through the Buy Mode?

Betel: “Why would you ruin the allusion like that?”

49

The first thing she actually does is her FREAKING JOB

Betel: “Hopscotch?  What’s THAT?”

Much, much better, Betel.50Happiness: “I don’t like being the barer of bad news, Envy… I don’t even like being the barer of news… but you smell terrible.  Even Gabriel thinks that you should have taken a bath before he destroyed the tub.”

Gabriel: “Smells like a dead rat that rolled in a toasted dumpster with a side of -HEY, I still don’t remember breaking that tub, Happiness.”

Envy: “Don’t hate on my new cologne, dude.”

Happiness: “Unless that new cologne is to repel people, then I’m not going to hate.”

Envy: “That’s EXACTLY what it’s supposed to do.  How did you know.”

Happiness: “Sigh.”

51Envy: “I think you need to be refined in the smell of high class cologne, Happiness.  Here, a couple spritz of my Axe: Zubat Repellant Super Strength and you’ll be keeping away crazy Aunt Angie just like me!”

Happiness: “COUGH COUGH, please stop Envy!  It’s too early in the morning to start choking me to death!”

52Envy: “MORE COLOGNE!  MORE!  SMELL MY SMELL, SMELL LIKE A TEENAGE MAN

Happiness: “I’ve lost my appetite now.”

53Ophaniel: “Say you’re prayers, because I’m about to tear you a new one!”

Liam: “Is… is Angela sure that this dog had it’s rabies shots?”

He’s growing at your newly empty bowl, Liam.  Not you.  Maybe if you were neater than THIS, he wouldn’t be so highly offended so instantly.  Clean up, you slob.

Liam: *Sob*

54Well this is a new one.  Become enemies with one of your many best friends for a promotion at work.  An opportunity for one of the nicest people in the world.  Can she do it?  I sure as hell am making her, anything for a promotion.  I mean, look where it’s gotten Evalin.

55Angela: “I’d hate to have to defriend Andrew… But the council has decided that we must cut all ties with him… I don’t even know how to be mean to someone.  Evalin gave me some pointers… ok, she threw the milk carton at me this morning because it went bad, but I think I could do that?  Oh, can’t I just let him down without hurting his feelings?”

No, this is the sims, girl.  Gotta be BRUTAL.

56Evalin: “Andrew, I… oh gumballs, I can’t… Andrew wait, I need to say… oh, he just walked away.  He must be on his way to the bathroom, poor thing, bless his soul.  I’ll just wait here for him until he gets back.”

Well it was worth a shot.

57Meanwhile, the other sister was doing some chores in town as well.

Evalin: “Thanks for the promotion, babe.  I knew sleeping with superiors was going to get me somewhere, and now look.  I’m Governor. And it’s all thanks to you and your neediness for my affection.  But we have GOT to do something with your old woman smell now.  Ugh.”

Genevieve: “I hope this is worth jeopardizing my whole career… oh the Clinton flashbacks are happening again…”

58Genevieve got some magic hair coloring and she and Evalin skanked out all over the patio behind the empty restaurant lot by the lake, with no witnesses other than one solitary sail boat.

59Oh.  The Flying Dutchman is looking a little puny lately.

Davy Jones: “Can’t a ole’ sea dog rest his weary pegleg wid’ me retirement vessel?  She be hearty and small but perfect for a ole’ scallawag like me.”

60He then sailed away into the evening, chasing after the hot air balloon that has been adrift since Sunset Valley.

61Purple Holly Alto and White Beau Andrews: “PLEASE SAVE US”

I don’t… Maybe someone should call a cop or something…

62Angela: “Look Andrew, I’ll be honest.  The political committee didn’t like who you voted for.  So to save my job, I have to start hating you.  I’m so sorry.”

Andrew: “HUMPH, a tool of the man!  I always knew you were an ass kisser to those big cats at the Capital!   Don’t worry about our friendship, Angela, because I don’t want to be friends with a poli-tick like you anyway!”

63Angela: “You don’t understand!  I have to get you to dislike me!  To HATE me!  How does Evalin put it?!  ‘Go make me a damn sandwich or so help me I’m burning this whole darn place to the ground‘!”

Andrew: “You don’t scare me, go make your own damn sandwich!”

Angela: “‘Do it or or someone is getting drowned tonight!  I mean it!  I need my damn sandwich now!‘”

Andrew: “You can’t even talk to me from your ownself, you let someone else do the talking for you!  Screw your sister! Screw your bosses and screw you Angela!”

64Angela: “DAMMIT KINDNESS, CAN’T YOU DO A FUCKING THING RIGHT IN THIS HOUSE FOR ONCE?!”

Andrew: “Whoa, Angela… channeling the wrong kind of anger over here…”

Angela: “BRING HOME ANOTHER FUCKING F ON YOUR REPORT CARD AGAIN AND TELL ME YOU ARE BETTERING YOURSELF BY STAYING HOME AND PLAYING CATCH WITH RENAULD AGAIN AND I’LL PERSONALLY FEED YOU TO A PACK OF FUCKING STARVING VAMPIRES MYSELF YOU PRETENTIOUS LITTLE SHIT, FUCKING A

Angela, we are defriending Andrew, not letting out your repression…

65Angela: “AND IF YOU STEP FOOT OUTSIDE THIS HOUSE TO PLAY BALL WITH YOUR BROTHER THIS LATE IN THE FUCKING NIGHT SO HELP ME-”

Andrew: “I’M NOT YOUR FUCKING SON, ANGELA”

Angela: “IT WILL APPLY TO YOU TOO ANDREW IF YOU DON’T GET OUT OF MY FACE, DAMN”

And that’s how Angela defriends people.

66Andrew: “Did that feel good, to yell at an old man like that?”

Angela: “Ah, it did.  I’m so sorry you had to be my outlet, Andrew, but that felt so good to get off my chest.  Thank you so much for helping me.”

Andrew: “That’s fine, it’s what I was here for, always a pleasure to help you achieve your goals dear.”

Angela: “So nice, I’ll be gracious to you forever.  We’d be friends forever if it weren’t for my work.  Oh good man, Andrew, thanks again.”

Pfft, good sims.  Even when they’re mean, they’re nice.

Adriana: “I was wondering where you were dad.  Should… should I call the police?”

67Angela: “Ahhh, you’re a good person just like your father, aren’t you?!”

Adriana: “Yeah… yes I am…”

Angela: “Well I have a boy I would love for you to meet!  Not the little prickhead with the yellow shirt, for the record.  I have another son I’d love for you to get to know!”

Andrew: “God, she’s hot.”

You can go home Andrew.  Thanks.

68Evalin: “Dammit Genevieve, you weren’t supposed to follow me home!”

Genevieve: “But I thought… it was about time your wife knew about… you know.  Me and you.”

Evalin: “Shit no.  Get out.”

69Liam: “Guys!  I got some good news!  Everyone come quick!”

Eunice: “If it’s not a sandwich for me, I don’t ca-WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS?!  WHEN DID WE GET A DOG?!  YOU ASSHOLES KNOW I’M ALLERGIC”

He’s been in the house for days, what’s wrong with you Eunice

70Liam: “It’s my birthday!  Time for me to age up, goodbye youth, hello age and wisdom.”

Eunice: “Does that wisdom involve you knowing how to make dinner, chop chop on that, Liam.”

71

Liam: “Oh, who knew old age was so achy…”

Eunice: “Liam in pain, now THAT’S something to celebrate!  Woo!”

Liam: “Would it kill you to be nice for once?”

72And here’s a photo of Kindness trying to be smart.

Kindness: “I am do math stuff.”

Angela: “Ah, this salad is the highlight of my day.  Nothing can upset me now.  Life is good.”

73Liam: “So um.  Why are you in our house again, ma’am?”

Genevieve: “I’m just here to break your shit right now.  Nothing much.”

I think someone is pissed off.

74And then a beautiful thing happened.  I kept hearing the stupid sounds that sims make when they are absent minded and trying to think, and it kept going on and on in a continuous loop for a couple of minutes, and I found out it was coming from Kindness, who, even though he stopped trying to think in the kitchen, kept playing the sounds that accompanied his stupid.

Kindness: “DUUUUUUGHH, DUUR DOOOY, UUUUUUUUR”

It didn’t last too long, but it was beautiful.

75Evalin: “Nothing.  Doing nothing.  Just delivering important city files to some mastermind criminals, regular political duties, you wouldn’t understand.”

The political career was perfect for her after all.

Also, I like how there is a scanner for a left handed print on the right side of the door.  They say that ages ago, left handed people were in the same category as evil, criminal activity, witchcraft, etc.  I found that very fitting.  Good one, EA.  I think.  I’m left handed and even I was impressed by it.  Somehow.

76And we are about to wrap this chapter up with a triple birthday.  It’s time for our founders to have their final birthdays into elderhood, and there is a third birthday, a third cake that we shall get to last…

Also, I like Sidney’s pants.  I didn’t pick her outfit, but I like it nonetheless.

77Angela: “I think I’ll go first!  I’ve had a great life, and I just want to say, I love all of you, I love my family, and I love you boys, Happiness and Kindness, you are the greatest things in my life.”

Happiness: “Hahaha, mom’s all corny and stuff.”

Ella: “You shouldn’t laugh at your mother, you know.”

Eunice: *Not giving a damn*

78Angela: “What should I wish for, when I have everything I could ever be happy with?”

Evalin: “Wish for me to win over you in our political race to the top!  That would be super.”

Angela: “I… don’t think that will be fair Evalin.  But I will.  Because I love you.”

Evalin: “Yessss….”

79Angela: “Oh, Liam was right.  Getting old introduces all kinds of new aches for me as well…”

Evalin: “Hee hee, hurty hurty!  Now this is a great party.  Good job, Angela.”

80Evalin: “Haha, that was funny.  Old people are funny to watch.  So, who’s the next dumb sucker getting caked today?  Eunice?”

Angela: “That’s your cake, dear sister.  Remember, we’re twins!”

Evalin: “Shit.”

81Evalin: “Well, for MY birthday wish, I wish to see someone get hurt one last time before I get too old to do damage to people myself.”

Betel: *Handsmash*

Evalin: “Goooood.  Exactly what I wanted.”

82Betel: *Spear murders*

Jealousy: “MOMMY, IT HURTS”

Evalin: “YES!  My birthday is just getting better and better!”

Ella: “I… no longer want this piece of cake…”

83Evalin: “What… WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!  This isn’t my hot body!”

Jealousy: “Yeah mom!  You are old and gross and stuff!  Now you will die soon and I shall inherit the earth!”

Evalin: “Go screw yourself with a cactus, Jealousy!”

84And last, but not least, It’s Kindness’s birthday.

Kindness: “Everyone excited?!  It’s now time for the main event!  ME!”

No one really cares.  OH, someone does, here comes Scott in his little duck floatie.  Hope he doesn’t drown in his cake slice.

Kindness: “Aw…”

85Envy: “Your mother made us all come in here against our will-”

Evalin: “Fuck that, I’m out.”

Angela: “I want you to know that we are all here for you son.   And we all love you.  Even when you do get on our bad side from time to time.  Yay…”

Happiness: “HAH, mom really doesn’t care that much!”

Angela: “But I do.  Yay…”

Jealousy: *Would rather be screwing that cactus right about now*

86Angela: “Oh can’t wait to see what handsome man my son will be!  Oh, I can’t bare to watch!”

Liam: *Honestly has no idea where he is right now*

And then…

We come to this moment, the first adult of the second generation.  Both of Angela’s boys are up for heirship, but who knows which one yet.  If Kindness is the next heir, this is the end of Angela’s reign.  But if Happiness is heir, then she’s got a couple more days left in my control?  So who shall it be?!

87First up for heir grab is Kindness.  Just to recap, he is an absent minded light sleeper, and therefore was HORRIBLE to keep in a bed as a child.  Still is hard to get him to go to bed. He’s also a technophobe, so when he’s not sleeping when he’s supposed to, he likes to stand in the living room and stomp his feet because Eunice is watching Sports Tonight on television.   He’s also an angler.  He likes yellow, vegetarian salmon and R&B music.  If he gets heirship, he will instantly lead the next chapter as new torch holder, and Angela will retire.

88

Next up is Happiness Fallen, the youngest of the two brothers.  He is an easily impressed artist, who is into saving the environment by being eco-friendly.  He is also inappropriate, so sometimes he pulls pranks and gets his IF in trouble.  He likes the color aqua, cheese steak, and his favorite music is songwriter music, which I looked that up just now to find out what exactly that was.  I think he’s a Taylor Swift fan.

Happiness: “I’d cry on her guitar any day, if you know what I mean.  Literally.  I’d cry all over her guitar with her.  Her lyrics move me so much.  I have cried to her beautiful music enough to fill a broken bathtub.”

Gabriel: “To this day I still don’t think I broke that tub, Happiness.  …Happiness??”

ANYWAY, vote is up here, HERE HERE HERE, and will be up for ten days from the day this chapter was published.  Go vote, and vote carefully.  Or don’t.  Vote blind to the wind if you want, I don’t really care how you vote, just do it.

89Jealousy: “I’m going to be stuck sharing heirship with that fuck Kindness, aren’t I?”

Angela: *Already losing her eyelashes to the stress*

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