Scouting the Town

1My word, I don’t usually have these little crushes on my sims, but I think I’m in love

Envy: “I get it, he’s fucking hot, big deal, shit get this over with already *angry toot*”

I’m sure you’ll be just as handsome one day Envy…

2Oh my, just, umf

I was so excited at how Happiness turned out that I showed my grandparents a photo of him.  They don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Envy: “I don’t know what’s wrong with you either, and I’m not putting up with your bullshit, going to eat my cake in my room alone now, bye.”

Please don’t tell me you are, *ahem*… green with…

Envy: “DON’T EVEN.”

3His first wish as torch holder was to meet a vampire, and there just so happened to be one in the room with him at the time.

Happiness: “Welcome to my party, we have many refreshments, so please just help yourself.  To our refrigerator.  Not any of the guests, obviously.”

4Jealousy’s first wish was also to meet a vampire.

Happiness: “Being a copycat isn’t nice, Jealousy.”

Jealousy: “Getting punched in the face isn’t nice either Happiness, but you are about to be.”

5While Jealousy was chastising Jamie for being a vampire, I changed Happiness’ shirt, because it was the same one Kindness wore as a teen.  It was even the same damn pattern I think.  Sigh, I think that shirt is awesome I suppose.

6Jamie: “Yes, I’ll admit!  I am a vampire!  Sob!  It’s a curse I must live with for the rest of my life!”

Jealousy: “Well that’s just jolly and fucking dandy, just waltz up into my house all hoity toity and expect us to accept your weird blood fetish bullcrap, take one look at me funny and I’ll break a steak in half right in your skinny little chest cavity.”

7Meanwhile Happiness was working on his second wish.  He wants to join the singer career track so he got online, and announced he was a singer a random internet forum.  The anonymous trolls mercilessly tore into his post, and now Happiness doesn’t really use the internet anymore.

8And of course, it’s not a good party until someone old just happens to kick the bucket at it.  Thanks a lot.

Betel: “You’re welcome.”

Not you.

9Happiness: “What a tragedy!  I will never forget you, Alisha.  When I start my music career, I will dedicate every concert I have to you. You are a beautiful soul, and I wish I got to know you better in life…”

10Jealousy: “Oh glorious day!  Our first death in this house, and it’s on my birthday and the day that I take over!  Oh beautiful omen!  Hahaha!”

Envy: “Sucks that it had to be some random old bitty instead of an actual family member.  Takes a bit of the sting out, you know…”

Alisha: “Well then.”

11Adriana Zombie: “Everyone is looking at me now?  Oh hello my loving crowd!  Why yes, I am absolutely stunning today.”

Envy: “Wow, someone is delusional.”

12Apparently it was Eunice’s birthday today too and I missed it, so she grew up after work in the dark of the night and on a steep incline so I couldn’t take a decent photo of her, thanks Eunice.

Eunice: “Hahaha, it’s my pleasure.”

13She doesn’t get a decent age up reveal because she doesn’t deserve it for growing up in a place like this, that and it’s physically impossible.

Eunice: “Now I’ll never make it up this hill, what have I done.”

14Alright, so here’s a better unveiling of the new heirs.  Jealousy is taking over for her mother Evalin, and her new trait was frugal, which means she’s cheap.  For her LTW, I decided to try to be adventurous, and so she’s now a Gold Digger.  Which is fine, because there are virtually NO evil sims in this town for her to get acquainted with.  Seriously, I scoured this town for a mate for her, but it’s so full of goody two shoes and ugh.  A town of all Good sims.  She’ll now look for a rich sim to woo.  And then kill them.

15Happiness is Angela’s heir, and he grew up a Natural Born Performer, but it took him at least 18 years to figure that out.  I believe his love of songwriter music compelled him to write music himself, because he now wants to be a Vocal Legend.

16Happiness: “Whua… who left a whole turkey in my room?”

The start of a new day in his new life under my control.

17Happiness was eager to start his new life as a singer and wanted to make some tips, so he went to town as soon as he could.

Happiness: “I see you drivin’ round town with the girl I love/ and I’m like/ you are a good man and she deserves the best because she is a sweet girl and I wish I could have provided for her the way you do”

18Let’s just say he’s not off to a great start.

19Happiness: “Why are we in the darkest lot in the most back sketch part of town, Jealousy?”

Jealousy: “It’s a salon, tremblenuts.  We are getting matching tattoos of our parents to honor them and to broadcast to the world that we are better than everyone else.  That and my mother won’t let us back into the house until we get them.  Seriously, don’t even try.  Mom’s got a vat of boiling oil over the door if you even try to approach the front walkway.”

20Happiness: “This isn’t so bad at all!  Quite a fun rush actually.  And the tattooist is Good so you know you are getting a quality design.  I wonder what her sign is!”

21Jealousy: “Well if she’s so good, why can’t she install some fucking lights in this place?  Wait, seriously?!  Happiness, did you REALLY just break the whole tattoo chair!?”

Happiness: “Noooo!  I mean, I don’t know what you are talking about!  Ok, maybe.  It’s crunching down on my leg, I need a car jack.”

22Clara: “Well I hope you have a fantastic day, Happiness, and remember to take care of that tattoo correctly!  Have any questions, you call me!  And please do… this is my personal number.”

Happiness: “Oooh ok!”

Jealousy: “Is no one going to acknowledge that the chair is still busted?  No one going to fix it?!  Seriously, I came in for a tat, my stupid cousin goes first and now I’m shit out of luck.  I’m going to end up being the one that kills him too, aren’t I…”

23Jealousy: “NO BIG DEAL, GUYS.  Yeah, just leave me in here, tattooist can go home early, I don’t give a shit, leave me here to fix this damn thing myself, I’m sure taking a wrench to the arm rest is going to do the trick.  I’ll find someone much better to do my tat.  Someone more talented, and less stupid!”

She got the 90 year old hair dresser to do the tat for her.

24Next up on the agenda was to get some photos of the new heirs together, and a quick trip down to the nearby bistro took care of that.

Jealousy: “Wow, this is a great photo!  One of the best photos ever in my opinion.  Could have been better if Happiness would stay out of the damn shot like I told him to, but still, it’s well done!”

25How lovely.

26Jealousy: “Oh snap, it’s a leprechaun!  You bitches are loaded, right?!”

Way to go out and meet people, Jealousy.

Jerald: “Well first off, I’m not a leprechaun, I’m a fairy, and secondly I don’t even think I have a house… I’ve been sleeping under the consignment store floorboards for three months…”

27Oh hello Fancy!  I see you are taking over your uncle’s work and dealing with the nightly hauntings.

Fancy: “Someone’s gotta make sum money ’round heer…”

28Fancy: “Yeah, yew take that yew ghostly hawntin’ sumbitch!”

29Fancy: “Oh lawd, my cous’n’s ‘r gonna hate me…”

I think you are going to be fine with them, Fancy.

30Jealousy found the nice manors in town.

Jealousy: “Let the games begin.”

31Jealousy: “Ok, this game is boring, when the hell is anyone coming home to this place?!”

You’d think that two old people and their teenage daughter wouldn’t stay out past 5 in the morning, but I’m starting to think that they knew Jealousy was there thanks to hidden security cameras and just camped out at a hotel or something.

33Jealousy: “Shit, if I lived here, I’d come back to it every night, whether or not a creepy stalker was hanging around the yard or not.  Look at it.  It’s luxury.”

34The only one home was their pet poodle sophie, which I think has a little bit of Leroy Secksiedog in it’s gene pool, and it lay on the couch all night worrying about the local lake residents.

35Jealousy: “Screw those old farts, their neighbors are just as nice, and they have a swimming pool.  I can surely stalk these people and have more fun with it!”

36Jealousy: “Alright, when are these people coming home now?!  It takes a lot of work hanging around and being sexy in their backyard for long periods of time!”

37Jealousy: “Oh great.  They have a guard dog too.  Just my fucking luck.”

38I checked in on Happiness who was out on his first sing-a-gram assignment.

Happiness: “You are beautiful/ in every single way~”

Meghan: “And you are too sexy, and I’d love you in every single way…”

Happiness: “You can look but you can’t touch it / if you touch it I’mma start some drama”

She’s not paying you for two songs, Happiness.

39I was only gone a few minutes, Jealousy.  I come back and the dog is floating in the pool and she’s running away.

Jealousy: “I didn’t throw the dog in the pool if that’s what you think, no, shut the hell up!”

German Shepard: “Huh?”

40Back at home, Eunice has graced us with the first fail of the generation.  You are just on a roll already Eunice.

41Jealousy: “My money senses smell old age and a chance to destroy a marriage.  I’m going in.”

42Jealousy: “Why hello sir, I see you and your wife are having a glorious afternoon, my name is Jealousy, but my close friends call me JJ, haha!  (If I had any friends.)”

Madeline: “Am I gonna have to cut a bitch?”

Ok maybe we should step away from the crazy, Jealousy.  I’m sure you could take her, but it’s still not a good idea to get into it…


How the hell did you manage THIS, woman?!

Jeez, some townies.

44I redressed her and probably saved her social life while doing so.  I also made her a witch for the hell of it.  No real reason.

45Jealousy: “Eduardo?  Ooooh.  Hello, I haven’t seen your handsome face in a long time, I thought that my mother had surely given up on you.”

Eduardo: “Jealousy, why you grew up into a fine lady, haven’t you?  I haven’t seen you in forever either, I haven’t seen your mother in a while either.  Then again, last time I saw her she was chasing me down the road on her motorcycle for fun so I didn’t think it was a wise move to go back… but now that I see you, maybe I should have braved it.”

Sounds like someone has found someone they like.

46Happiness: “I couldn’t get any tips from the lot next door, saw you guys and came over!  I’ll set the mood!  Ahem… I’m every woman/ it’s all in meee~”

Eduardo: “What?”

Jealousy: “Oh don’t worry about him, I’m going to strangle his windpipe shut later anyway, so just ignore him for now.”

47Jealousy: “So like I was saying, Eduardo, you seeing anyone?  Married?  I just need to know this for, you know, census purposes…”

Happiness: “Help / I need somebody / help / not just anybody / help /  I need a record deal~”

Madeline: “Looks like he needs a sandwich more than anything else, put some meat on his bones.”

48Happiness: “You are beautiful / in every single waaaay / your two quarters won’t bring me down~”

Nicolaus: “Hey you little punk, I was only trying to help.”

50Back to the sing-a-grams then I suppose.

Cera: “Oh, you have gained a new fan in me, Happiness!”

51Cera: “And a new stalker.”

52Happiness: “What have I done?”

53Ok then, back to tips.

Happiness: “I see a little silhouetto of a man- oh crackers, I DO see a little silhouetto of a man!  It’s a ghost!  Amazing!  I must stop tip singing, wait half an hour for all the tippers to actually tip, and then ooh and aah at the cool purple man!  Oooh!”

Eagle: “Oh come on, really?”

54Happiness: “I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of- more ghosts!  Wow, it’s just a herd tonight!  Must stop again!  Must ooh and aah again!”

Sidney: “Seriously guys, no one wants you here, why did you move in?”

Because they are more important than you are, Sidney, shut up.

55Happiness: “You don’t know you’re beautiful… and in a better boat than the other two supernatural sims on this lot, for reals~”

Jaime: “You’re right, at least I’m not a crazy immortal ghost everyone has to gawk at,  I’m a cool immortal vampire everyone has to get mad over!  Thanks Happiness!”

56Jealousy: “Finally, skulking around in bushes behind Eduardo all day has paid off, I finally found out where he lives and dayum son”

57Ah, jackpot.  I always wanted to add Eduardo to the legacy in some way, but I was sad when he grew up neither evil nor good.  It’s good to learn that he is at least rich!

It’s also strange to learn that his name isn’t Eduardo after all, it’s Edgardo.  What.  What.

58Jealousy: “That’s strange, why is my estranged cousin Meghan standing in his living room in cozy maternity clothes and a bright new engagement ring on her finger?  She must have broken into his house, jealous of his good fortune.  What a stupid bitch.”

I’m afraid to say that’s Edgardo’s fiance now, Jealousy.

59Jealousy: “You seemed to neglect telling me that you were porking my uggo cousin, Edgardo.”

Edgardo: “My mistake, she’s new in my life, and I made some slip ups, forgot some “protection”, and well, I tried to man up and do the right thing.  But I think my heart might just belong to you after all…”

Jealousy: “(Yeah, it better.)”

60Jealousy: “Why, you didn’t tell me you had such a lovely house, Edgardo!  My, I’m so impressed with your decorating skills!”

Edgardo: “Thanks!  I didn’t do any of this though, the previous residents did all this!  My father bought them out and forced them to move, perks of being a Vanderburg and all you know!”

Meghan from the bedroom: “Yo, I think it’s time for you to go, ‘Cus!  It’s 4 in the morning, we need sleep and shit you know.”

Edgardo: “I’ll see you later, Jealousy.  You know, fiance and all.”

61Jealousy: “Don’t worry about all that, Edgardo… I’ll have you soon enough…”

62Ending the chapter with two updates.  Fancy and Jaime are together, and I think that’s a great set up.  I look forward to that.

63Lastly, we have two people I don’t really care too much about, it’s the fact that they had twins with these names, and I love it.  They go together nicely and just bounces in your mouth.  Felisha and Tenisha.  I love twins with complementing names.

About missmiserie

I make sims legacies and update them once every other blood moon :)

7 responses to “Scouting the Town”

  1. rochellesmiles says :

    This chapter was pure win!
    I want to hear him sing. He had me laughing SO HARD with his sing-a-grams.

    And omg, Jealousy’s wishes. A gold-digger sim sounds hilarious.

    What the heck was up with that one townie’s FACE? On the bright side, she’s wearing a Gryffindor scarf. Dumbledore would be proud.

    Loved the chapter. *Continues to gawk at Happiness*
    Oh, and Envy, you’re cute too. 😀

    • missmiserie says :

      I don’t know what was wrong with the townie and her face. I tried to draw attention away from the fact that she had a 2×4 for a nose, but I don’t know if it was successful or not. No clue what her genetic history is.

      And yes, I can’t stop staring at Happiness either 😀

  2. Darknessreign says :

    I always love these stories you write,and I really REALLY hate using words like “love”.(It burns a hole into my soul)

    I mostly like Jealousy cause I like evil sims.Then again who doesn’t?

  3. Elocine says :

    OMG This was fantastic. I think I’m in love with Happiness, too. And Jealousy, but in a different way. They’re both awesomely entertaining. 🙂

    • missmiserie says :

      I know, I just love watching them both so much, no wonder I can’t seem to bring myself to watch the rest of the family as much as I used to anymore.

  4. skehrer says :

    Oh no! I’ve fallen behind again! I’m going to try and catch up today (if my kids let me have any time to myself). This chapter was great, but then again your updates usually are.

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