Archive | October 2013

The Triple Legacy Spooktacular Part 2


1In the nearby town of Moonlight Falls…

2Barnabas: “Alright ladies, I brought a little bit of scotch, but not too much scotch, so we got to share.  Bonehilda’s drained me dry again and I’ll have to go to the liquor store tomorrow to get mo… what the hell are you doing here?!”

Sabrina: “What do you mean, what am I doing here?  Can’t I visit my friend on Halloween night?  I’m your leading simself, so I’m practically your mother!  Do you talk to your mother that way?”

3Barnabas: “You chased off my, er, “ladies of the night” didn’t you?!”

Sabrina: “Yes and I had to pay them to leave.  Selfish little skanky things.  You owe me about $450.”

Barnabas: “Don’t you have a Halloween party you need to be at right now, and not here?!”

Sabrina: “No, I wasn’t going to throw a party this year, considering the last party I threw led to… well, I’m homeless now.  I was going to dress up as a victorian-age ghost or something, but I chickened out.  Like I always do.  Ah well, you still have that scotch?”

4Barnabas: “That’s not true!  You are throwing a party tonight!  You even sent out invites to all your leading legacy sims to join you for a “Spooper Spooky Spectacular Beach Bash” tonight near the abandoned facility on South Beach.  Even I got a invite, but you can forget it after you abandoned my legacy for the past 6 months.”

Sabrina: “It’s not abandoned, just resting.  And besides, I didn’t send out any invites.  That’s crazy.”

5Barnabas: “Yes you did!  All those little sims came by my house to ask for directions even!  Two of them even came by twice, which pissed me off, and that pissed one of them off.  Then she hit the other guy, and oh BY THE WAY, way to go replacing me, Sabrina!  You got a new ginger vampire in your life?!  Man, go shove a rock lobster up your ass, ok?”

Sabrina: “Happiness and Jealousy?  They were here?  That’s strange.  I swear I didn’t throw no party, but if my legacy sims are in town, I better go check this out…”

6Facebook: “Hello, I.  My name’s Facebook, and it’s always nicer to meet someone with a more stupid name than mine.”

Jealousy: “You dumbass, I don’t think that’s her name.”

Happiness: “Well, she’s definitely not Sabrina.  Might we ask who you are, ma’am?”

7“I’ve already told you.  I’m your bringer of Death.”

Jealousy: “Yeah well you are also the bringer of the most corniest get-up I’ve ever seen.”

Facebook: “I don’t know, that looks pretty serious.”

Jealousy: “I didn’t ask for your opinion, loser!”

8“Obviously you guys aren’t getting the large picture here.  You’ve all walked into my trap, and now here, you will all die.  Have I made it simple enough for you?”

Happiness: “Ha, I’m starting to have fun actually!  This is the best Halloween prank I’ve ever been part of!”

Facebook: “No diptard, I think she’s serious.  I’m starting to think that this isn’t some sort of joke anymore!  I’ve seen some good pranks before, but this one just isn’t setting right…”

“Well at least the blue eyebrowed one gets it.  I have arranged all of you to be here tonight to play a little game for me, and then slowly but surely, you will all perish in my little trap.”

9Jealousy: “Underground traps and death, my ass!  I’m out of here, bitch.”

Happiness: “Jealousy calm down, this is just part of the party, I’m sure!”

Jealousy: “Big fucking deal if it’s part of her little party!  No one, and I repeat, no one, tells me I’m going to die in some pit!  Now get the hell out of my way, girl.  I’m going back upstairs, back to the beach, a quick stop at the buffet table, and then I’m going home!”

“I’m afraid I’m not going to let you back up stairs, Jealousy.  You’re never going back up there again because-”

10Jealousy: “Yeah yeah, I’m “gonna die in here” bullshit.  Lemme tell you something, girl.  This isn’t a trap.  There isn’t a trap around to keep me down!  I’ve seen better underground death pits, I’ve BUILT better underground death pits than this.  Now get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. Way.  You got until the count of three before I punch a fist size dent into that black hole you call a face.”

“I see you just aren’t going to go down easily, are you…”

11Jealousy: “WHA-”

Happiness: “Jealousy?!  What?!  What did you do?!”

“I just dropped her down into the underground pit.  Nothing too bad, she’ll probably survive the fall.  Well you know, granted that there’s nothing exactly underneath this particular pit…”


Facebook: “WHOA that looks like a deep pit.”

Youtube: “Jealousy!  If you can hear me or see me, shout!”

“I doubt you’ll see or hear from her from here.  These pits can go miles under the ground.  Sometimes they will only go a few meters.  They’re all completely random.  But I doubt this one is that short.”


13“Oh don’t worry, you’ll probably see your dear cousin again.  After all, this whole floor, rather, all the floors are covered in nothing but trap panels, so all I have to do is drop you were you stand, and you could land right where your cousin is!  Or you could land in an under ground cavern of sharp rocks.  Or a basket of fluffy puppies.  You never know!  All you have to do is anger me, or go against my little game we’re gonna play, and we will see where you land!”

Bear: “You’re insane!”

“Oh, speaking of sanity, I think the smart thing for me to do is to further trap you in this room.  Can’t have you all making mad dashes for the stairs, now can I?”

14“Allow me to drop all the panels around the stairs! Now that you have no chance of return, we will let the games begin!”

15Facebook: “Yeah, they all look really deep.  There’s no chance we’d make it alive down there, much less to try to jump over this.”

Youtube: “Facebook, we’d have route problems trying to walk over a plate.  Of course we wouldn’t make it over this pit!”

Bear: “I KNEW I shoulda stayed in mah bed today!  Why’d yew have to convince me to tag along, Fancy?!”

16“I think you are starting to understand the severity of your situation!  That’s fantastic, so shall we begin?  This is going to be very simple for you.  All you have to do is step through that vault door behind you, then run around my special little maze, and try to find your way out!  Now isn’t that fun!  Simple and to the point!  And the best part is, not one of you are going to survive this!  Doesn’t that sound like a fantastic way to spend your last Halloween?!”

17Youtube: “There are going to be clowns in this maze, aren’t there!  Oh god, I always knew I was going to die at the hands of some clowns…”

Facebook: “She’s right, if I get to watch that happen, this IS going to be a fantastic way to spend this last Halloween!”

18Fancy: “Welp, if this is where I’m supposed to die, I’m glad ur heer wid me, Unca Bear.”

Bear: “Fancy, let go of mah arm, I didn’t agree to this!”

Happiness: “Well, I guess I have no choice anyway, I got to go find my cousin.  I can’t return home without her, I just can’t face my family without Jealousy.  And I definitely can’t face her family.  And there’s no way I’d be able to raise Wrath in her stead.  All those horrible jokes for the rest of my life… ughghgn…”

19Youtube: “S-so guys, who’s r-r-ready to do th-this?  L-let’s get this over wit-with and f-f-f-f-find our way out of this m-mess…”

Facebook: “I volunteer you go first, Youtube.”

Youtube: “S-seriously?!  I c-can’t, I’m not ex-ex-exactly the leader t-type, you know th-that Facebook, m-maybe you could lead the w-w-way instead, you’re b-b-braver than me…”

Fancy: “Oh, onna’ yall jus’ pick straws already.”

20“Oh, by the way, I’m gonna start dropping random tiles in the floor in here until you go.  A couple at a time.  So you know.  No rush.”

Fancy: “Oh hell.”

21Youtube: “Suddenly I found my leadership ability, let’s go guys!”

Bear: “Sure, leadership, more like it took scary monster girl to kick you in the butt.”

Happiness: “As long as he’s out of our way.”

22Facebook: “Ugh, it smells like dead ass down here.  Who sharted?”

Happiness: “She wasn’t kidding, this really is a maze, huh…  So far I only see two pathways, and the one on the right seems a bit shorter.  We can try that one, but if it leads no where, we can always come back and go down the one on the right…”

23Youtube: “Well what if we split up and go down both?  We’ll cover more ground that way and if we find something, we can call the other group on our cellphones.”

Fancy: “Our phones aren’t workin’ dude.  We don’t have any reception down heer.”

Bear: “That ‘n splitin’ up is the WORST possible idea to have atta’ time like this!  We stay together!  We don’t know wut’s down heer, ‘n that way none of us get lost ‘r hurt goin’ through this thing!  Yall understand?”

24Facebook: “Yeah yeah.  Don’t split up.  I got it.  That means that I AM going to split up with you guys.  Smell you losers later.”

Happiness: “What, but he said DON’T.”

Gengar: “I don’t know about you guys but Facebook might have a point.  Besides, the less we spend dawdling around with you guys, the quicker we are going to get through this thing, especially with Youtube and Bear blubbering about, scared to go through this thing.”

Bear: “I’m NOT scared.  Jus’ concerned ’bout Fancy, that’s all!”

Fancy: “Eh, I’m fine right now.”

Gengar: “Well, I’m going with Facebook, and we’re gonna go this way.  Scream if you find something.  Or scream if you get killed.  Make sure they’re both different types of screams though.  That way we know whether or not to come back or not.”

25Fancy: “Well they took the left path, so we should take the right!  Yall fellas ready to go?”

Youtube: “I d-don’t know, Fancy… maybe one or two of us should stay back in case the other two were to show back up.  Y-You know, act as a rendezvous point and all…”

Fancy: “Brilliant idea, Youtube!  Bear and Happiness, would you two stay behind and wait fur us?  See if Gengar and Facebook come back, and me and Youtube will go on ahead and check this passageway out!”

Youtube: “Shit.”



Fancy: “Well this way ‘n that way are jus’ dead ends apparently.  An’ I swear we’ve run into this grate twice already!  I think this passageway jus’ goes in a circle!”

27Youtube: “All we are doing are getting lost in here.  At this rate we are really going to die of starvation, I just know it!”

28Youtube: “Oh hey!  Fancy, check it out, I found another vault door!  I found the way out!”

Fancy: “Fantastic!  Open it up!”

Youtube: “I knew this wasn’t going to be some hard maze or something, I was right!”

29Fancy: “Hurry up, move, what’s out there?!”

Youtube: “I think it…it’s an entire room full of c-cowplants…”

30Fancy: “Huh?  Whut?!”

Youtube: “Fancy… please move and l-let me out… Fancy!  Move!”



Fancy: “Youtube?!  What happened?!  YOUTUBE!”


32Facebook: “Ah!  Why can’t you get it through your narrow little woman brain?!  I know where I’m going!”

Gengar: “We’ve been trailing around the same corridor for two hours!  How the hell have you not noticed that?!  You are getting us lost you idiot!  Get out of the way, I’M leading us this time!”

Facebook: “No way in hell are YOU leading us anywhere!  I can find us out of here without your help!  So just shut up and let me deal with this!”

33Gengar: “You know what, Facebook?!  Go screw yourself!  I don’t need to follow a dumbshit like you anyway!  You’re the reason we are going to get killed so I’m going to go this way, and you go some other way!  I’m going to find my own way out of here now!”

Facebook: “Oh yeah, go on and get yourself killed, that’s cool!  I’m not following some stupid girl to her certain doom anyway!  When you find that pit Jealousy’s splattered corpse is laying up in, don’t start lamenting me!  Don’t think, “I should have let that handsome, smart Facebook guy lead the way and save the day”, because you don’t deserve to!  Matter of fact, you aren’t even going to have time to think it, because you are going to be a splattered corpse yourself anyway!”

Gengar: “Yeah yeah, you rambling loser.  Later!”


34Happiness: “Oh man, did you hear that scream just now?!  I’m so scared, dude!”

Bear: “I sure hope it was jus’ Fancy’r someone!  But I hope she’s ok ‘n not hurt!  Oh gawd, her mama’d kill me if anything happened to ‘er!”

35Fancy: “Bear!  Happiness!  Oh thank gawd I found yall!  We got a major problem!”

36Happiness: “Heeey, good job!  You guessed it was Fancy and you were right!  You are good at this game!”

Bear: “I sure hope you don’t think this is some game anymore, Happiness.”

37Fancy: “I think ur right, Bear!  This ain’t a game anymore, I think Youtube’s been eaten by a herd of cowplants!  He walked into a room fulla’ dem, ‘n the door slammed shut behind him!  I couldn’t get the door back open!  I tried to stay to pry it open, but the screams went quiet ‘n I came back here, ‘n oh gawd, I think he’s dead!”

Bear: “I told everyone to stay put, ‘n now look!  There’s only three of us now!  Well what do you propose we do?!”

38Fancy: “We got to go back and try to save Youtube!  We can’t jus’ leave him in there, I mean, there might be a chance he’s still alive, ya’ know?”

Happiness: “Well do you remember which way it was?  If you can lead us back there, I think all three of us can get that door open!”

39Fancy: “Yeah!  I came in from this way!  Or… was it from heer?”

Happiness: “I could have sworn you took this corner on the way back, right?”

Bear: “Great, now we’re never going to find the room again, because I could have sworn you came in through that pathway.”

Fancy: “It’s got to be around here somewhere…”


40Gengar: “Stupid Facebook.  Probably still walking in circles like the dumbass he is.  Ugh, I’ve been walking for hours… and here is another damn room full of cowplants!  Why are these all over the place?!  Down here, they’re probably all starving too.  I’m not going in there!  Ugh, when I get home, Miltank is just going to have to go to the yard!”

41Gengar: “Huh?  Are those footprints?  They look all… bloody and stuff…”

42Gengar: “They lead to this doorway, huh… They might be Jealousy’s!  She’s probably injured, and she might have found a way out?  Could this be the way out?”

43Gengar: “Noo… this isn’t the exi… wait, it’s you!”

44Happiness: “Oh my goodness, it’s YOU!”

Bear and Fancy: “Yeah, but this ain’t the exit…”


Jealousy: “Wow, didn’t think I’d see you losers again.  She drop you guys too?  I don’t think so, you fuckers still look like all your bones are intact, so you probably willingly came down here.  You stupid passive bitches.”

46Happiness: “I’m so happy to see you are ok!  I came all the way down here to help find you, Jealousy, I’m just so grateful that you’re alive!”

Jealousy: “Yo, get OFF me you emotional prick!  I definitely don’t need you touching me.  Don’t make me knock you out!”

Fancy: “I never thought I’d see YEW alive again!  Wut happened?  That pit looked so deep!”


Jealousy: “Well I fell, obviously, you moron!  I think I cracked my skull on a pipe on the way down, but I think it broke my fall, because I landed on some wet dirt and survived just fine.  A little internal bleeding.  My seething rage and drive for revenge is what forced me out of that pit.  I’ve been crawling in and out of these tunnels for what feels like days, but neither the pipes nor these corridors have an end anywhere!  I’ve scoured this whole area up, down and inside out!  I don’t think there’s an exit!”

48Happiness: “Oh no… so what you’re saying is that this is utterly hopeless?  We’re going to be trapped down in here forever?!”

Bear: “I think so, but she’s also saying that she’s been through the whole area, so she knows more than we do!  Tell me, have you found anything that could be helpful, Jealousy?”

49Jealousy: “Now that I think of it, there was one room that I came across, that I thought was an exit for a second, but it just seemed so… easy.  I know an obvious trap when I see one, and that was definitely an obvious trap.  But it sticks in my head because it was the only room I’ve found so far that was different.”

Bear: “Then that’s the room we start in.  Do you remember exactly where it was?”

Jealousy: “I think so.  It’s not too far from here either, I think.”



51Facebook: “NOOOO!  OH GOD, DID THEY SEE ME… I don’t think they see me…”

52*Barking subsides*

Facebook: “Ok… cool… I think they’re gone… fucking dogs.  I should have taken Monty with me.  He would have saved me… dumb snake didn’t want to wear the Master Sword costume that I got for him though…”

53Facebook: “So what the hell is this room supposed to be?  There’s nothing in here except some stupid weird statue.  Fucking modern artists.  Carving stupid shit into stupid rocks.  Get a real job.  And stop trying to scare me.  Yeah.  You stupid statue.”

54Facebook: “Whatever, I’m out-what?!  Why’d the door shut on me?  Did it actually lock on me?!  What the hell?!”

55Facebook: “Oh… shit…”


56Jealousy: “Alright, we are here, this is the room I was talking about.”

Happiness: “Kinda sad that the person with brain hemorrhaging can find her way through the maze better than someone who was just in another room a few minutes before.”

Fancy: “Haha!  Yeah!  …Wait, wus that a shot at me?!”

57Fancy: “Hey look!  It’s an exit!  It’s an honest to gawd exit!  But what’s this in between?”

Happiness: “It looks like a pool!  It’s a really deep pool though, I can’t even see the bottom…”

Bear: “You’re right Jealousy.  A bottomless pool, an obvious exit, all the skulls and bones everywhere… this is a pretty obvious trap somehow.”

58Jealousy: “Yep, I didn’t fall for it.  I already fell in one pit before, I don’t need the water to drain out on me while crossing this thing, or it turn out to be gasoline, or the exit’s just painted on the wall on the other end…”

Bear: “Well, I don’t know about all that, but that does look like a legit exit.  I can smell the ocean from here and I hear birds.  I’m going to try to cross this pool and check it out, and I want you guys to hang back here and make a break for it if something were to happen, ok?”

59Happiness: “Bear, you sure about this?!  What if something were to happen?”

Fancy: “Trust me, if any’uh us could survive a trap like this, it’s my Unca Bear!  There he goes!”

Jealousy: “There goes a brave man.  Much braver than you, Happiness.”

60Jealousy: “So far so good… go slowly and try not to ripple the water too much as to not set anything off…”

Happiness: “I think he’s going to make it after all!  Maybe it’s not a trap!”

61Bear: “Huh, so far so good…”


Bear: “OH shit, that scared me a little bit.  Well that was a bit rude.”

63Happiness: “Jealousy was right after all, it’s a bust.  Darn, and I was starting to think Bear would get through.”

Fancy: “That’s a down right shame, right there.”

Jealousy: “Yeah… Bear, hurry up and get back, something’s still strange about this pool…”

64Bear: “Alright, coming back.”

Happiness: “Hurry Bear, we’ll try another area or somethin-”


Happiness: “Bear?  BEAR!!”


The Triple Legacy Spooktacular!

It’s that time of the year again, folks!  Pumpkins and candy and scary things and ACORNS BANGING ON THE ROOF OF MY HOUSE SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME, SERIOUSLY, FUCK THAT TREE IN THE YARD

This year, there will be a Halloween special, like the one I had the year before last (if you want to count last years EP special as a Halloween special you can if you want).  There are a pair of special appearances from this legacy in it, so if you want to go check it out, Part one is chilling over at the Secksie blog, and soon, Part Two will be on this blog!

So have a spooky Halloween everyone :3


Skull Trumpet

Fresh off the heels of fixing our latest glitch fest, we now join Jealousy and Edgardo as we find out if getting remarried will fix our LTW fluke once and for all…
1YES!  Jealousy’s LTW was fixed the second she married Edgardo again, and all is right in the world.  Now we have useless ghost husband floating around the house and doing nothing, but I really don’t want to just send him back right now.  So I’m going to hold onto him like the ghost hoarding loser I am.

2Jealousy: “All that crap to go about saving my hard-earned fortune is exhausting, I felt like I hadn’t slept in days.  I’m going to finally curl up in my bed and take a nice long… OH HELL NO.”


Marlena: “Zzzz, wazzat?”


5Marlena: “NEVER!  Justice shall prevail over evil, Jealousy!”


6Marlena: “So long as I have the laws of goodness on my side, you can never defeat me, Jealousy!”


7The husbands don’t care.

Happiness: “Raising baby!  Someone’s got to do it!  My son needs a friend and parent in his life!  Love this little kid!  I’m dedicating my newest album all to songs about him!”

Edgardo: *Is really useless since coming back into the house*

8Great, now where are you going, Marlena.

Marlena: “Well, no where really, since the taxi driver kinda just bailed on me.”

9Well apparently she’s GOING ON A DATE



This is actually the third or fourth time Drew has asked Marlena for a date.  Persistence pays off I suppose.

10Drew: “Marlena, such a lovely woman!  If I’m going to lose the love of my life to her dead ghost husband, then I will take the next best thing!  Marlena!”

Marlena: “Aaw, stop, you tease!”


11Drew: “So I have this new bed at home.  It’s a Serta!  I was thinking you and I could go back to my place and test it out…”

Marlena: “Ooh, I do recommend Sertas!  I actually have one at home!  It’s the best sleep you’ll ever have!”

Yeah, now if only you will actually SLEEP in your OWN BED.

12Happiness: “Marlena?  What are you doing here?”

Marlena: “Oh sweetheart!  I had no idea you were performing tonight!  What a treat this is!  Me and a friend got together and we are hanging out tonight!  To hang out with such a sweet friend and watch my husband perform this really is a nice turn of events!”

13Drew: “I picked a really good place to go on a date with you, didn’t I!  A date to the club to watch your husband perform while I make off with his wife, I’m having the time of my life!”

Happiness: *sings Quit Playing Games With My Heart and cries into the microphone*

Marlena: “Oh stop being such a baby, Happiness, you act like we’re on a really for real date or something!”

Drew: “…I’m on a really for real date…”

14Jealousy: “I sense an ex of mine and an enemy of mine doing things together, and I’m feeling some serious rage in me right now.  Also, can you STOP with the broken music sounds, Betel!?  You are getting on my damn nerves as well!”

Betel’s back to playing music randomly again, but instead of a full song, it’s just a split second instrumental sound that repeats every couple of seconds, like a broken track.   And I thought the last sound track was annoying.


This is literally the best way I can describe it

15Like father like son, I see.

Happiness: “I’m just depressed.  Marlena worries me, but I trust my wife with the fullest of my ability… my naive, ignorant wife.  I don’t trust my wife.”

Peace: “And that bone maid is getting on my nerves.  I haven’t slept for several hours with her tooting around the house.  I don’t trust her.”

16Jealousy: “And I don’t remember when we started keeping kibble in the milk carton.”

17Happiness: “Ignore the cat pretending to be in a pat down search by cops, and focus on the fact that you are about to finish maxing out all your skills, my son!  This is a good day after all.  Despite the fact that the ghosts seem to still be out this late in the day.”


Edgardo: “Was the house always this purple before?  Or is it because I’m looking at it through this thin purple filter?”

19Wrath: “Knock knock!  Who’s there?  Not Sarah.”

Peace: “Enough jokes, I don’t need a nap, Wrath!  I need food!  You can’t starve me like this you know, it’s not healthy!”

20Peace: “Oh COME ON!  I DON’T want to nap just because YOU want to nap!  I want food!  Someone help me here!  I need my snackie!”

21Daddy would feed his baby, if he wasn’t out working, or rather, helping his brother celebrate losing his virginity.


22Egret: “Not sure how he lost his virginity.  I’m here.”

Happiness: “He probably thinks virginity is lost when he got married.  Don’t question his idiotic thinking.  It’s not safe.  Also, please move.  You’re blocking the stage.”

QT: “I don’t think I’m blocking it enough!” *expands some more*

23Ralph: “UGH!  Not THIS guy again!  This damn place shows him every damn day it feels like!”

Happiness: *So determined to get around Egret and her dog that he starts forcing his way through the bar*

24Wrath: “How do you make a baby drink?  You put it in a blender.  Who wants me to put it in a blender?”

Jealousy: “You better not, Wrath.  We got a really nice blender for Christmas last year.”

Betel: “So no one is going tBLEET take care of this little screamBLEETing kid?  I mean, I would, but I reallyBLEET don’t want to…”

25Marlena: “I took care of the baby!”

ACTUALLY she picked him up and put him in front of the door like they’ve been prone to doing lately and let him pass out waiting for daddy to come home, CAN YOU NOT SEE HOW STUPID THIS WOMAN IS

Happiness: “Why”


27Jealousy: “I should have just tried to put out this fire by pushing Marlena into it, but nooooo, Happiness didn’t want that, ugh *grumble*”

Edgardo: “Hurry, Jealousy!  I don’t want the fire to spread and get to me, despite the fact that out of all people in this family, a fire is the LEAST of my concerns!”

Happiness: “Ahhh, fire!  Ahh?  AHHH!  EDGARDO!  EDGARDO’S GHOST, AHHHH!”

Jealousy: “Don’t act like you didn’t even notice him there the whole time, Happiness!”

Happiness: “I DIDN’T!”

28Jealousy: “Well dang, the fireman that arrived late is actually really hot.  I’ll let him live.”

Edgardo: “You know what else is hot?  The stove.  It’s still smoking.”

29Jealousy: “Oh, and my brother is here.  Hello Envy.”


Happiness: “Because you are family, and family is very important!  Now shut it and enjoy some darn cake, bro.”

30Charity: “Yay!  Daddy let us back in the house!  Everything is just as I left it!  What a wonderful birthday party for Peace this is going to be!”

Kindness: “YES!  I’ve been let back in the house!  AND GLORIOUS DAY, the books are back in the house as well!”

Jaime: “On that note, I think I’ll go home.”

Anger: “I want to go too.”

31Happiness: “I’m so happy for you, baby!  Tomorrow, you will start big boy school and we can finally say we are done with little babies for a long, long time.”

People I didn’t even invite: “ANGER SUCKS”

Jealousy: “Haha.  Yeah, I’ll agree with that.”

32Charity: “Even I agree Anger isn’t really up to snuff around here.  He makes a terrible substitute father, did you know that?”

Anger: “All you assholes are just mad because of my new hip haircut.  Don’t hate the player, jackasses.”

33Peace’s new trait is computer whiz, so he probably programs church websites for elderly pastors. Or the Epsilon program website or something.

Anger: “The little shit does look like a cult leader already.   Could also explain why my copy of Grand Theft Auto 5 didn’t come with me in the move.”

34After the party there was a notification that Charity also chose today to grow up, even though I don’t think she was due for a birthday for a while.  I may have been wrong.  I her new trait wasn’t of any importance.

Charity: “There’s nothing like your parents throwing a birthday party for your little brother, and then completely forgetting about you and yours.  But that’s ok.  I love them and I forgive them and I know they have other things to worry about at the moment.  Like mother’s sanity.”

Loyalty: “It’s ok sis.  Just stare at the soothing green room and know that at least we moved into a house that’s our favorite color.”

Charity: “True.  It is very nice.”

35Back home, the pets have become such buddies, that they now sleep in the very same position together.”

Ophaniel: “Zzzz… mmph, the ghost is back in the house, don’t like the ghost…. zzz, ghost scares me…”

Mephistopheles: “Snore, could have sworn he was literally swimming with the fishes, but apparently not, zzz…”

36Evalin: “I think you’ve been swimming with the fishes lately, Eunice, because yo ass is stanky.”

Eunice: “Look, I am trying to delete everyone’s achievements on their profiles, but I can’t do it if your ass is standing in front of me, Evalin!  Well I kinda can because I can kinda look through you, but it would be SO MUCH EASIER, if you’d fuck off!”

Marlena: *Did nothing but stand there in the room since Peace’s party ended*

37Around here was when the game effed up and when I fixed it, this is where I found Peace.

Peace: *Muffled sounds of a mouth full of dry wall*

Happiness: “That’s still not an excuse to skip out on school today, mister!”

38Jealousy: “It’s a good thing to look out our doors and still see our same town and not a burning rampage of the apocalypse anymore, but did we adopt another dog or something?  Why is Anger’s mutt passed out on our front walk?”

Captain: “I’m a cute little bugger though, aren’t I?”

Jealousy: “Yeah yeah, don’t make yourself comfortable, dog.”

39Wrath: “Drive, mutant.  I have a show and tell event and I’m showing off my pet today.  Remember your line for the class, Peace?”

Peace: “Kifflom.”

Wrath: “Heh heh… I forced him to watch me play online Los Santos for 13 hours straight.  Best weekend ever.”

40Jealousy isn’t the only one who completed their LTW this chapter!

Happiness: “The biggest pop star in the history of music!  The biggest celebrity in Hidden Springs!  I have made it to the top!”

Andria: “Cool beans.  I’m gonna go take a bath.  I need you to give me a celebratory sing-a-gram afterwards.  Sit right here and don’t move.”

Happiness: “Oh, ok.”

41Meanwhile Marlena is even getting up there in her LTW, which is apparently to master law enforcement as I found out recently.  At least she hasn’t been fudging that up.  Nice to know she’s at least doing something right.

42Nevermind.  She’s screwing up again.

Marlena: “What did I do wrong now?  All I want to do is go home in my baby’s stroller.  I just can’t get anyone to push me.  Sigh.”

43Ophaniel: “So uh, you still lost kid?  Do you need me to walk you home or something?”

Captain: “I think I’ve been forgotten about…”

Ophaniel: “Aw, noo, we’ve just had a hard couple of days, that’s all, It’s ok.  I’ll watch over you until you find your way back home.”

44Peace: “Dad, mom’s home.”

Happiness: “I’m not shocked, son.”

45Wrath: “I don’t know where I was, but I’m home now.  Did I miss something important or something?”

Happiness: “Not much, just testing this sink hole in the sidewalk.  Get the jackhammer, Betel.”

Betel: “At least I stopped bleeping.”

Captain: “I’m still here, lol”

Ophaniel: “It’s alright, I promise.”


Wrath: “That’s not a pocket, mom *takes deep whiff of Jealousy’s hair*”

Mephistopheles: “I’m going to go sit in the windowsill and pretend that I don’t know any of you freaks.”

47Captain: “I’m starting to think this is my new home now.”

Deer: “Is this my new home too, OH COME ON, OPEN THE DOOR”



49Wrapping the chapter up for now.  The only notification worth taking note of was Anger actually got together with his aunt after all.  Well, his ex-aunt anyway.  Once an aunt always an aunt if I do say so myself though.

50And Captain did find his way home eventually with the help of Overwatch.  Happy endings everywhere today.

Spooky Holloween Story Time!

It’s almost that time of the year again, and who wants to hear a good horror story a couple weeks early?!  You know you do!  I got a really good horror story to tell you kids today so sit around and listen very carefully!  It goes a little something like this:








So I posted a lot of chapters in a short period of time then took a month break.  Yep, that sounds about right.  I just hadn’t really felt up to sims and then a couple of days ago I woke up and just thought, “I hadn’t even checked for any sims news lately”, so I get online and THIS






Midnight Hollow looks absolutely fantastic!  It makes Moonlight Falls look like Central Park.  I’m going to try to get this town by the end of this month!  Maybe even for a Halloween event special or something!  But for 2450 points or whatever?  That’s almost $30.  You’re losing your fucking mind, EA.  Tempting me like this…


Shall we see what the Fallens have done since I left off a month ago?

4Nathaniel: “Well, we grew in numbers, but we still lack the love.”

Amon: “You’re telling me, I can’t stand any of you fucks that I’m forced to spend the rest of my eternity with!”

Wait, wrong lot, the one we want is down the street from here…


Way to welcome us back, Anger.

6Happiness: “It’s been a fantastic morning so far!  My son is everything we could have dreamed for, everything is running smoothly outside of Anger wetting his pants, and the cat  is just hilarious to watch!  I would say that today is a good day.”

7Happiness: “Welcome to the show tonight, everyone!  Today is an absolutely fantastic day, is it not!  So for you guys, I think I will do some of the classics: 90’s Brittany Spears and Techno-Classical hits of the year, unlike the usual list of J-pop songs I usually do for my fans!  Who’s up for some music?!”

8Loyalty: “I came with my father to cheer him on.  Someone’s got to support him when he builds his crowds up, then embarasses himself on stage and goes back to singing and crying to his one-man audience Kindness.”

Envy: “I plan on flashing my wiener on stage and getting Happiness kicked out of the club.  That’ll surely work, right?”

9Edgardo: “Holy hell!  I never thought I would make my way out of the afterlife!  And that basement!  I’m starving to death!  Oh wait.”

Evalin: “Heeey, I know you.  You’re that… guy… What’s his face, uh…”

10Evalin: “Oh THAT’S right!  You’re the Edgardo fellow!  Hah, I see my daughter has had her use of you and finally tossed you out like last week’s garbage!  Took her longer than I expected, but well done, child of mine!”

Edgardo: “Not listening.”

Jealousy: “Mom, get out of the way.  Edgardo?  Is that you, dear?”

11Edgardo: “Mmf, cake… don’t you “dear” me, Jealousy.  Death told me everything.  From the get go you were going to kill me?!  Like this?!  I don’t want to talk to you, you harlot.”

Jealousy: “(Well I don’t want to talk to him either, but… for some reason, this isn’t, well, fulfilling to me… something is missing, but what?  What is wrong?!”


12Jealousy: “Sooooooo…. wait.  Aren’t you all dead and stuff?  You’re all ghosty now.  A ghosty ghost. Death reaped your soul and all that hokey.  Obviously, you are gone from this plane of existence, so don’t you count as my deceased husband and all that?”

Edgardo: “Hah!  Hardly, you idiot!  I’m DEAD now!  Which means, I’m no longer your husband!  I am your FIANCE.  Look at our relationship panel.  It speaks for itself!  So much for your corrupt plan, “my love”!”

Isn’t that just flip frick fracking tastic!  I had to look up why her LTW wasn’t accounting itself, and it turns out she had to actually watch her husband die for it to count!  Or some mess like that.  I’M MAD.

I guess this is my fault though.  I should had done some better research on this LTW before boldly jumping in and assuming that it was going to be simple.  But really.  How complicated is “kill rich husband, look at ghost”?!  There REALLY as to be a SPECIFIC GUIDELINE FOR THIS MESS?!

13Jealousy: “(ARE YOU KIDDING ME.  I fucked up.  I fucked up big time.  And I may be young and beautiful still, but I can’t do this ALL OVER again!  There’s not enough time for this mess.  Shit.  Big fucking shit!  Think, Jealousy.  There may be a way to save this thing yet…)”

Edgardo: “Yep.  Squirm and mumble your frustrations out.  You didn’t win.  You didn’t win anything.  And tomorrow morning, I’m going to the office and canceling that insurance claim.  All the money will go into college bonds for my three children.  What do you have to say about that, “loving wife”?”

14Jealousy: “That is the most RIDICULOUS thing I have ever heard!”

Edgardo: “Huh?”

Jealousy: “You’re actually going to believe some bag of bones when he tells you your devoted wife is the cause of your death?  That’s the most asinine thing I’ve ever heard, Edgardo!  I love you!  And I would have never left you in that pit to die like that!”

Edgardo: “But… you did.”

Jealousy: “No no, things just didn’t go to plan, that’s all!  Spent a lot of time working on luring Happiness in.  A lot of time.  But you know, well, in the end, he’s really just a good guy and all.  Won’t hurt us.  Overreacted and all.  But by the time I returned to you… you know.  And it was all my fault.  I regretted it so much!  Don’t believe what that specter told you!  I still love you, Edgardo!”

15Edgardo: “My little bulldog… h-how could I have been so rash?!  How could I think you were the reason I died!  I was too hasty to trust the words of Death!  After all, he was just after my soul!  He must have lied to get me to leave with him quicker!  The bastard!  I distrusted you for so long!  I am in need of your forgiveness, Jealousy!  Forgive me!”

Jealousy: “Oh Edgardo.  I do.  I forgive you for thinking so stupidly.”

16Betel: “Ding dong, chilidog!  The time is now 8 in the morning!  All spirits and specters leave the place before I call the ghost busters!  I got cleaning to do.”

Jealousy: “Dammit Betel!  I was JUST reeling him back in!  I need to get this ring back on his finger and get this mess straightened out before it’s too late!  But I got to get him back in the house first… how would I go about doing that the easiest?”

17Peace: “I don’t know anything about all that, but COME ON!  I REALLY need to have nap time over here!  Not daddy!”

Must be hard being a single parent.  You know.  Because Marlena doesn’t do a damn thing around here.

18Jealousy: “Yo, asshole.  get your lazy self up and help me.  I got a request for you.”

Ophaniel: “Shall I lick his face and nuzzle him awake for you?”

Jealousy: “No need, if he doesn’t wake up by the time I walk across this room, I’ll just throttle him myself.”

19Happiness: “What do you need, cousin?  I kinda need my rest and all, raising my kids like this…”

Jealousy: “I need my husband back in the family roster again.  And being legit dead and all that shit, I need you to go to the science building, get the thing done, bla bla bla… don’t look at me with that dead gaze, Happiness.  I know you know what I’m talking about.”

20Happiness: “That Opportunity?  Well, yeah, I have it.  I’ve had it since mom passed away all those years ago.  I’ve been saving it in case of an emergency, such as the kids getting hit by a truck, or you doing something to them.”

21Jealousy: “Bah, forget your kids.  I need it to bring my husband back into the family.  If I don’t prove to him that I still care for him or whatever, he’ll negate the life insurance policy, even as a ghost!  I don’t need to be bullshitted over like that.  So get down there and bring him back into the family, Happiness.”

Happiness: “No way, José!  This is for emergencies only!  I’m sorry you failed so hard at your lifetime dream of screwing someone over for money, but this is a life or death opportunity, and we cannot squander the gift that we were given!”

22Jealousy: “Please, Happiness… I don’t ask a lot from you, you know.  But as your cousin, your family… I need this.  I need him back in our lives.”

Happiness: “The answer is still no, Jealousy!  This is a major opportunity for us and-oh shitake is that a tear?  You’re CRYING??  Oh lord, let me get the car keys.”

23Jealousy: “Alright, where’s my damn ghost fiance?”

Happiness: “Yeah.  About that.  Jealousy, we can’t fill the house up any more than what we got.  The scientists say we are currently loaded.  I mean, it hasn’t stopped us before, but…”

Jealousy: “That’s bullshit!  Get a mod!  Do something!”

Happiness: “I thought we had a mod!  I guess we don’t anymore.  Oh well, guess we’ll just have to wait.”

Jealousy: “Fuck you, you aren’t any help.”

Fine, we can do this the hard way.

24Egret, NOOOO.  You can do so much better, dear!

Egret: “Aftur many cold years married to many old guys, it’s nice to have some young blood ’round the hawse!”

That doesn’t mean it has to be KINDNESS.

25Anger: *Teenage  anger, literally and emotionally*

Happiness: *Patiently waiting to be the next to scold*


26Happiness: “Don’t just walk by me after you’re time out and ignore what I have to say young man!  You are skipping school today!  Do you know how much trouble you should be in right now?!”

Anger: “Well do you know how bad I have to take a shit, dumbass?  You REALLY want to do this while I’m pooping squirts?!  Because I don’t have any problems makeing this as uncomfortable for you as you are making it for me!”

27I’ve kinda left Peace to his own devices.  He’s happy to be left alone for the most part, and I do not have any problems with that.

Peace: “I have the xylophone keys jacked so far up my bum, now let’s test my theory.  If I stick the hammer as far down my throat as it can possibly go, will I hit the keys?”

Maybe someone should be up here watching him.


29Mephistopheles: “This bird?  I cannot kill it!  It’s in destructible!  I WILL ANNIHILATE EVERYTHING YOU LOVE UNTIL I DISCOVER YOUR SECRETS, BIRD” *Eyes start melting out of Mephie’s skull*

Happiness: “You know, we really need to get you some perscription cat googles for your eye problems, little guy.”

Ophaniel: “Are you people all stupid?  The cat is possessed by the devil, what does he have to do for you to see that already?!”

30Marlena: “Waaaaaiiit… I’m a cop?  Since when?  Since when did I have a JOB?”

Apparently you’ve always had one, I suppose.  You’ve been popping out babies since you got here, so it’s not really surprising that I had no clue about this until now.  Try not to screw this up, Marlena.

31Jealousy: “Look Drew.  I’m sorry to have to do this to you.  But we’re going to have to stop our relationship that we’ve been working on.  See, you’re broke, and that just makes you a scrub.  A scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me.  Hanging out the passenger side of his best friend’s right trying to holla at me.”

32Drew: “What?  Please, Jealousy, don’t do this to me!  I really have feelings for you!  Ever since I saw you, ever since I came to this town!  We can make this work!  We don’t need money to love each other!”

Jealousy: “I do.”

Drew: “I’ll get a job then!  Please! Give me another chance!”

33Jealousy: “Alright kids, bad news.  No step father any time soon.  I’m determined to get your father back from the Siberian exile camp he’s been stuck at for the past four weeks.”

Anger: “That’s actually really good news to hear, mother.  I’ve been starting to think that he was dea-”

Drew: “PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE, Jealousy!  I LOOOOOOVE you!  I NEEEEEED you!  Don’t do this to meeeee, I’ll do ANNNNNNNNYTHING!”

Anger: “Shall I jam the pressure washer up this guy’s butt for you, mother?”

Wrath: “What’s the fastest vehicle on land?  Stevie Wonder’s speedboat.”

Anger: “This isn’t the time for your random stupid jokes, Wrath!”

34Ophaniel: “Why am I suddenly here?  How did I even get all the way out here to the park in the middle of the night?”

I have no idea, dog.  You tell me.

35Kid who probably lives at the park: “Yay, a doggie is having a birthday party!  This is the closest I’ll ever come to going to a birthday party!  This is the closest I’ll ever come to having friends.”

36Jealousy: “After a couple of days of scheming, I have come up with a plan to get Edgardo in the house.  Screw Happiness and his opportunity.  I have a perfectly good son that’s going to help me… by being thrown away.  I’ve called a birthday party over, and we’re gonna have a little shindig and he’s getting kicked out on his ass, opening a spot for his father!  He’ll never even be none the wiser!”

37.9Jealousy: “Really?  Really.  I knew Meghan was stupid but for it to rub off on her dumb kid.”


Marlena: “Don’t flatter yourself, Jealousy.  He also thinks I’m cute as well.  Considering he has a girlfriend.  Poor girl.”

Jealousy: “For him to like you, he really is stupider than I thought.”

37Marlena: “I hope you enjoy your birthday party today, Anger!”

Anger: “Choke on your pancakes.”

Marlena: “I’ve been meaning to tell you, that after you grow up and venture out on your own, that we would like for you to take our daughters with you, if you please.”

38Anger: “What.

Marlena: “Yeah, me and Happiness thinks it would be best for them to go out and see the world a bit.  They don’t do anything around here and it’s sad.  We’d like for them to get the most out of life by seeing more of the world.  Even if it’s just the other side of town.”

Anger: “This is some grade A handpicked, organic bullshit right here.”

39Marlena: “Well I tried decorating for Anger’s party.  All the party shop had was this one giant Prius balloon for sale.  Strange, but I guess we might as well use it.  Gotta do something with it since we have it anyway, you know?”

Wrath: “What’s funnier than a dead baby?  A dead baby in a clown costume.”

Marlena: “… My uncle’s wife is a psychiatric therapist.  Maybe I should set you up an appointment next week with her.”

40Drew: “Jealousy?!  Jealousy, my love, are you in here?!  Please, Jealousy, take me back!”

Marlena: “Nope, you just missed her.  We were all in here, but she just left.  Anger was trying to take a poo poo, but the bathroom is just so cool whenever someone wants to use it, we have to all come in here and check it out!  Were you even invited?”

41Anger: “Now that I’m finally free from that circus you’ve set up in front of the toilet, I wonder what I should wish for for my birthday…”

Marlena: “How about a clean running and efficient 2012 Prius for graduation!  It’s the car of the future, the car of America.  Now for only $250 down payment and $199 a month for the following month of October!”

42Anger: “I know!  I wish for you to piss off, Marlena!”

Marlena: “Oh nooooo!” *Pisses self*

Anger: “I meant piss off, not piss self, but that’s ok, I can accept this from the Birthday Fairies nonetheless.”

43Anger is now a man, and his new trait is inappropriate, so now he’ll probably laugh at his sister’s horrible jokes.

Wrath: “This balloon reminds me of a good one!  What’s red and goes around and around and around?”

Ophaniel: “Not that horrible baby in the dryer joke again!”

Anger: “Wooooow, I just now got that joke.  Heh.  Heh heh.”

44Anger: “Hey, it’s my estranged uncle, Envy!  Would you like to play a game of sim gnubb with me?”


45Anger: “There goes the greatest male role model I wish I had.”

Yeah, I’m sure.

46Before Anger was moved out though, I wanted to have them all do something together, since they never really did anything together.  Everyone went with Happiness on his work routine with the club, except Marlena because she got stuck in the bathroom and screw her.  Peace even got to come, but that’s just because Happiness didn’t want to put him down.

47Charity: “OOPS, sorry, I didn’t mean to push anyone out of the way on the way to the back of the club!  Because we can’t enter the front like civil people!  First one back to the back is the winner!”

Anger: “Your daughter is a horrible little shit of a child.  Look!  My arm’s been smashed into this concrete wall!”

Loyalty: *Is probably dead*

48Happiness: “Oh, so Charity didn’t win the race, you were already back here!  Say, where IS Charity anyway?”


49Happiness: “Who’s up for some Brazilian pop classics?! I think I know one song, so let’s get this show on the road!”

Anger: “He’s not a bad musician!  I don’t regret hating him though.”

Jealousy: “Well if you think that’s good, you two really do have shitty tastes in music.  I blame myself for letting him sing your lullabies when you were younger.  Better than me having to read to you guys, that’s for sure.”

51Jealousy: “This concert is going on too long!  Hey Happiness!  You’re a sack of crap!”

50Anger: “WHOA mom!  Right in the junk!  Daaaayum.  Good shot, he’s going to be a soprano for the rest of his life, that’s for sure.”

Wrath: “Wait, did he become a woman when you hit him with that ball?”

Jealousy: “Haha, NOW it’s a fun concert, kids.”

52Back at the house, the cat had his own birthday as well.


Ophaniel: “Ok.  Heehee… Cat-astrophical.”

53Soon after coming back, Anger left, and took with him Loyalty and Charity.

Charity: “Are we going for a car ride!  I love car rides!  I always go with my parents and we always see fun things together.”

Loyalty: “Same here!  Sunday morning drives are the best!”

Anger: “Yeah.  You guys can say that we are going on a car ride…”

54They picked a house right across the street from the school, and I have no regrets kicking the kids out early.  They weren’t going to do anything, and they weren’t doing anything productive anyway.  Well, any more than the rest of them.

Loyalty: “So wait, I’m never going to go home again?  Would explain why my luggage was in the trunk.  But does this mean that I have to call the guy wearing gaucho glasses ‘daddy’ now?”

Anger: “You know just for that statement, you can sleep in the garage from now on.”

55Kicking them out freed just enough space for my game to not be a bitch about adding ghosts, so with some points, Jealousy bought a philosopher stone.  Screw Happiness’s opportunity, when I got this.

Move, Bald Elvis.

56Jealousy: “I call upon the power of the darkest magic to bring back my love from the dead!”

Mephistopheles: “Huh?  Why would you want me to bring back that nasty old thing?  He never did anything around here.”

Jealousy: “Not you, you stupid cat!”

57Edgardo: *FART* “Eh?  I’m back?  W-wow!  I knew Jealousy would come through for me!  What a wonderful wife!”

58Edgardo: “Thank you, my love!  Being a ghost is all weird, but I’m so happy you brought me back!  The kids are going to be ecstatic!  Where’s my little girl and where’s that handsome son of mine?”

Jealousy: “The boy is gone, his presence here was sacrificed for you, but that’s not important.”

59Edgardo: “I’ve waited all this time for you.  I knew you were the love of my life when I picked you over Meghan.  My loving wife, my little Jealousy…”

Jealousy: “Yeah yeah yeah, I gotta get that fiance tag off of you and start this again, so hold still.”

60Edgardo: “Do you think my ghostly hand will hold this ring up anymore?  I’d hate for it to fall through my hand and get lost in the grass.”

Jealousy: “No big deal, I just need it on your hand long enough to acknowledge you as my ghost husband, and then, we will see, once my life long dream will come true…”

Will her LTW be completed?  Will the game no longer even see Edgardo as a wealthy sim, because after all these loopholes, I wouldn’t be surprised if it would screw me over any more than it already has.  Will Charity and Loyalty come back?  Probably not.

61But speaking of ghost spouses, way to ruin your life Egret.  That is probably the worst decision I have ever seen in the history of this game.