Cynthia: “I couldn’t be a more happier bride.”
Cynthia: “Please, Marlena. We aren’t going to ask you again, our room isn’t a place you can stand in until you die.”
She’s currently 112 days old. That makes me nervous.
I ONLY WENT TO GO ANSWER THE PHONE FOR 2 MINUTES, WRATH
Wrath: “But… Why is a dead hooker like a paper shredder??”
NOW’S NOT THE TIME FOR JOKES, WRATH, YOU KILLED THE LEGACY
Wrath: “Then come back then, I got a case of violent bee potions that I never got around to using anyway.”
Death: “Alright, here’s the deal. Your foremothers on the other side are threatening to castrate me if I take you before your time. So I’ll give you another shot. Or as many shots as it takes to please your mother and grandmother. I don’t want to lose my little reaper.”
Wrath: “Great to do business with you. I know it would be a real shame if you were to lose your boner over this. Get it. Because you’re made of bones.”
Peace: “No, please, Death. Take her, we can’t take any more puns, I’m begging you!”
I totally forgot Wrath was unlucky. I don’t understand why Wrath coming back is SUPPOSED to be unlucky, because I feel like the luckiest damn player in the world right now.
No Peace, you will stay dead, and have to still use the shower, ok?
Jada: “Of course she does, look at me, our babies are all gonna be the best looking bitches in the world.”
Wrath: “Gasp! How did Helen Keller burn her fingers? She tried to read the toaster.”
Betsy: “Not me, after that trauma I witnessed the other day in the kitchen, I don’t want anything to do with any more children in this house, mother.”
Briana: “I’M STILL IN HERE, WHAT THE HELL”
Jada: “Shut up, peon. Here, you can hold my bra.”
Mephistopheles: “Alright, now that Ophaniel is gone, here’s how we are going to divide the food bowl from now on. This side is my half, it’s always been my half. And this side is now also going to be my half.”
Baal: “If I’m quick, I might be able to trip someone up carrying waffles and actually get some food for once…”
Julian: “You think you couldn’t hold yours? Check the inside of this box I’ve been camped out in.”
Good, now both of you can get out of here.
Marlena: “Wrath put me in this closet days ago, and everything was fine, but why do I now have to share it with Cynthia’s baby? He’s upset and it’s upsetting me…”
THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, DUMBASS
Marlena: “Do you really think that joke is appropriate to tell when Mephistopheles is in the room? Really uncouth, Wrath.”
Wrath: “DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE”
Wrath: “And I’m too young to lose my hearing to your stupid screeching, Marlena. Get stung with a lot less screaming, will you?!”
Jada: “Wow, really wow, k thanks wrath, way to waste my genes.”
She will now be barred from inheritance unless she gets an evil trait.
Don’t give Cruelty a cheese grater.
Briana: “Oh time for celebration! Well, not for the baby thing. Maybe the baby thing. I’m tired of the children screaming.”
What a wonderful step-granddaddy.
Cruelty: “The more away I am from Marlena would be a good idea.”
Wrath: “Yeah, I’ll deal with her for a second.”
Marlena: “GO CALL 911, BAAL, HELP ME”
Baal: “Wow, you are right, Wrath, this is the best thing I’ve seen all day!”
Cruelty: “Yawn, fat Wrath isn’t something I haven’t seen before. Off to barf on the other kid’s toys, later bitch.”
Cynthia: “Well, I’m about to go make a pie. Just for our new child because I’m quite sure that’s going to benefit her more than your particle accelerator accident there.”
You get paid about $2000 to sing to an empty room. Don’t complain.
Wrath: “Oh shit yeah, you know it is. Best damn cuisine on the planet. Coincidentally, also the same flavor of the bean that I ate that killed me. Yum yum yum. Better get on that shit now though.”
Wrath: “Time to make an asston of other shit to learn spaghetti! Got my plate, check, my trusty face-smashing pot, check, shitty joke book, check, now just some honey to make the sauce extra sweet… hmmm, honey…”
Wrath: “Tbh, you kinda do.”
Jada: “I haven’t seen a mirror in so long :(”
Julian: “But I don’t want to give up what I thought was mine! I gave up my pants for this, but not the room!”
Peace: “Please, Briana! Be reasonable…”
Briana: “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD”
Betsy: “Actually, this is my pet fly, Rodrigo. He’s my only friend here.”
Wrath: “Uh, no, I don’t think so. You will not go anywhere until you get these dishes cleaned up. We aren’t bringing your damn baby into this world and sacrificing her to Cruelty until you get that carbonara dish in the sink.”
Cynthia: “NOT EVERYONE IS CONCERNED WITH THE DISHES LIKE YOU ARE IN MOMENTS LIKE THIS, WRATH”
Wrath: “Then don’t bitch about what’s unsanitary, Cynthia, shit.”
Wrath: “Eh, you see one, you see them all. You freaks are overreacting. An American, a Canadian, and a Mexican are standing on a cliffside…”
Cynthia: “Ugh, just go get me the car keys, Wrath!”
Cynthia: “Wow, I thought Wrath was telling us a horrible joke about how you are the town’s obstetrician. So, it’s true?!”
Wrath: “Why would I even joke about that, Cynthia?! That is some serious serious shit that even I wouldn’t screw around with! Also, why the hell am I here for this??”
And tada, our first baby for the good line for the fourth gen! This is baby Serenity, who is athletic and easily impressed. Favorites include R&B, spaggetti with veggie sauce (is food-favorite vegetarianism inherited or something? I feel like there are a lot more veggie munchers in this line than I expected), and the color of sea foam. And she’s green skinned. I expect good things from this one.
Wrath: “Bla bla bla, you expected good shit from Cruelty too, and for some reason, physics won’t let me set her down in the trash can. Can I go home now? I still don’t even have a clue why I even tagged along!”
He was really trying to learn to paint in the backyard, but it’s the thought that counts.
Peace: “I know I really haven’t worked in a few weeks now, but I think it’s time I moved on in my life from ghost busting. I’ve wanted to quit ever since my daughter was born, and I want to spend more time with my baby. Good luck with the eternal haunting and possessions, I’m outtie.”
Cynthia: “Jeez, Peace. When you built the nursery, were you trying to go for modern hospital waiting room or what?”
Peace: “My baby girl is beautiful. We are going to spend every waking hour together, sweetheart. I will not stop rolling snuggle wants for my baby. I don’t think I can stop. That’s chill with me though!”
Someone’s going to be a great daddy.
Wrath: “Dear Bee God. Smite Cynthia and her uber crazy stupidity for wasting kitchen space on the floor while you’re ruining Marlena’s life. Amen.”
Betsy: “That’s not even right! This isn’t your room, Cruelty!”
Betsy: “I just wanted a nap before we have to go to school tomorrow.”
Julian: “Throw a heavy quilt on it. Maybe it’ll get confused, think it’s nighttime and go back to sleep.”
Briana: “What, now I have to have permission to hold the brat?! What, me and the others and my dad not good enough for mom to let us hold the baby? Screw you, Peace! I was considering NOT dropping her into the laundry chute but after you said that, I think I just changed my mind!”
Peace: “I… I didn’t really insinuate that at all, we were just trying to find her to feed her…”
Cruelty: “THIS WOMAN IS MORE EVIL THAN I AM”
Betsy: “You do know that’s not your grandchild… oh why do I bother, I think this woman is deaf.”
Julian: *Too busy deleting that crib, oh please get that damn child to her room already*
Wrath: “WELL THAT’S NO FUN”
Briana: “I still get a kick out of the old woman swelling up in the face every time she gets a face full of hive.”
I’m actually at that point where I just use Wrath throwing potions at Marlena to find where she is in the house. With 14 sims, she no longer shows up on the icon bar, and scrolling through just skips from Jada straight to Mephistopheles. It’s like the game already thinks she’s dead. I wish.
Playstation 3: “How is blowing us up with a hand grenade supposed to be merciful?!”
I wouldn’t be shocked.
I don’t know, but it would be nice if you were actually a decent member of this family and did something to help yourself, Marlena.
Brent: “Maybe we shouldn’t play ball next to the End of the World?”
Stephanie: “Just shut up and throw the ball already.”
Peace: *Ascends to the 4th deminsion*
Metatron: “Eh, it’s not so bad after that cold winter we were stuck in the past couple months.”
Cynthia: “Why should the baby care if you don’t have your nipples, Peace?! Just, don’t show it to her and you won’t traumatize her or anything. Now go clean up. You smell like burnt video game consoles.”
Wrath: “What do you mean, you don’t get the joke, it’s a great joke, Cruelty! See, the penguin looks like it gave a blowjob to a seal and… you know what?! Forget it, you are too stupid to even comprehend my genius. Just get out of my way and let me out… GET OUT OF MY WAY, CRUELTY!”
Jada: “SHOULDN’T YOU BE MORE CONCERNED WITH WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU, WRATH?! YOU BUSTED UTERUS JUICE ALL OVER THE FLOOR, AND I JUST BOUGHT THESE SHOES!”
Why do you got to be so weird.
Jada: “Shouldn’t you be more concerned with the baby jamming out of your vagina? By the way, your toddler has dragged me into her black hole of route failure! I just wanted to leave and no longer care about the situation, is that too hard to ask?”
Jada: “If I snuck out of the house in the dead of night when she isn’t watching me, do you think she would notice me gone by the time I’ve escaped to Cuba?”
Wrath: “Look what I found on the floor between my legs! I will call this one Agony, after that painful moment I went through to get her. You know, where fucking Cruelty wouldn’t get out of my damn way! Hmmm… she smells like she’s friendly and easily impressed. Well, I’m NOT impressed so far with you, Agony. You’re sleeping on the porch tonight with traits like that until you learn better!”
Jada: “Actually, Cuba isn’t really “in” according to Travel magazine. Bora Bora sounds cool. And really far away. I like that.”
Agony also likes R&B, Ratatouille, and the color Aqua. Not really evil material so far, but then again, she’s got time to grow on me.
But we leave this chapter on a good note! And it’s the best note in a long time! Good riddance, Kindness! May I never ever have to be reminded of you ever again!
Alright, now that Island Paradise has been introduced to my computer, we can finally go back to the legacies at hand. Last time we were here, Peace and Cynthia got engaged, and Jealousy died in the nursery. Everyone grieved. Edgardo followed his wife to hell, but no one really noticed he left.
Since then, I have been dicking around with ideas with my friend Hannah, and decided to add some new sims to the town roster…
Meet Florida man, a heinous genetic experiment that escaped from a lab in 1982, and lived as a bank teller for 16 years until he robbed the same bank with some thumbtacks and a potato launcher. He escaped with some fellow Floridians to live a new life in Hidden Springs.
His accomplice, a fellow Florida man, is actually a woman, whom had changed her name to her friend’s name when filing some forms for the Witness Protection Program. Her friend, angry that she changed her name to the same name he picked out, knocked off her nose with a spatula. They made up, and even ended up having a son together.
Florida man, the next generation in a family of Florida men, was conceived in the bathroom of a MLP convention on a one night stand between friends. He loves sleeping in his Spiderman jammies that he’s had since he was 7, and he believes that there haven’t been any consoles invented since the Nintendo Gamecube.
They have been added to town and hope to incorporate their genetic diversity into the lineage of other families.
Marlena: “It’s such a shame you had to go! We will never meet again in this world, and never in the next, as you are most definetely in heck. I will keep this seat warm in your memory.”
I see why I about forgotten it.
Wrath: “Makin’ yo babies, that’s what I’m doing in here!”
Jada: “I thought I was supposed to be the baby maker in the family. What gives?”
Well, apparently you are either sterile, too old, or your uterus is too violent and evil for babies to be made, Jada. Because no matter how much woohoo you got, you never got an egg drop. Not even forcing a baby in there worked. But Wrath concieved first go so go stand in the corner and wait until I need your genes again, Jada.
Jada: “This is some Master Bullshit.”
Betsy: “What about the times we are screaming, sad, and stinky, mommy?”
Cynthia: “Both of the tots were screaming, and I couldn’t think straight so I came out here to do some yoga and clear my mind…”
And… what about the kids?!
Your works are marvels to behold, I’m sure.
Briana: “I’m so exhausted, and I thought rocking in the rocking chair would help, but all it does is make my back stiff! How can anyone sleep sitting up like this?! Come back to me, sleep! I need you!”
Marlena: “Woooow, none of my concern, little girl! Now you need to get out of my way, and let me have my chair back, ok?!”
NEITHER OF YOU SHOULD BE IN HERE.
Betsy: “I’D LIKE MY DIAPER CHANGED AND I’M GETTING A LITTLE LONELY, BUT THERE’S NOTHING MORE I’D RATHER DO THAN PLAY WITH THIS DOG PEACE GAVE ME 😀 I WON’T LET ANYONE PICK ME UP BECAUSE OF HOW GREAT THIS DOG IS”
Jada: “Why did Jealousy have to leave us?! She was going to get rid of you, and then she didn’t do it! I miss her so much.”
Ophaniel: “Jealousy is gone? Is she ever coming back?”
Ophaniel: “I don’t understand…”
Wrath offscreen: “But I was maybe going to watch that one day :(”
Wrath: “OOOOGH, If I weren’t so pregnant, I would come up there and give you a piece of my foot in your ass!”
Repo: “Wow, you barely knew the crazy bitch. Stop being such a baby about it, lady.”
Allie Gatore: “May we meet again in another life, my comrade.”
Repo: “The screeching! My hearing will never be the same!”
Death: “I’m gonna celebrate, I have a new soul for my collection!”
Ophaniel: “Oh? Who’s soul is it?”
I’m pretty sure they are aware of it.
Briana: “Hold it together, Baal! Literally. You’re doing that stupid pet thing again.”
Mephistopheles: “I would never do such a thing. But I promise to remember you and feel sad for you for a short time, as you were my only real accomplice in this place. RIP, dog.”
Peace: “No, why do people keep thinking that we do?! My goodness, we don’t even have a hamper, Death!”
Get your ass up, Jada. It’s not that hard to go to bed with the kids screaming.
The next day, Peace and Cynthia got around to having their wedding, and they took it over to the Fallen’s newest lot: the Wedding Park! It was started by Happiness and Jealousy back when she was around, and when it was built, Jealousy despised the choices Happiness made to the park. So she built onto the adjacent land, and made a more preferable side of the park for her and her family.
Anger: “I saw Kindness was already over there, you don’t expect me to cross this fence for that, do you?!”
Good point there.
Jada: “Oh no, the horrible jokes are contagious and are spreading from person to person…”
Cynthia: “What the pufferfish, it was just a silly little pun-”
Wrath: “THAT COULD HAVE BEEN MY PUN”
Girl: “This is a wedding?”
Brave: *Actually trying to form an actual thought for once since school*
Marlena: “I know! I thought I was going to go too, I even made it downstairs and out of my chair for the first time in years for this, and no one is here to take me to the party! Why do I get gypped like this every time there’s a party in the family?”
Baal: “I wanted to go to this party too…”
YOU LOSERS WERE ALL INVITED! YOU IDIOTS DIDN’T EVEN BOTHER TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE OUTING MESSAGE AND NOW YOU ARE STUCK HOME, STAY HOME I HATE ALL OF YOU ANYWAY.
Marlena: “Betsy, sit your butt back down before you hurt your little baby laffy taffy legs.”
Cynthia: “What is wrong with you?! We can’t get married right now, I am still in grieving! Ophaniel died yesterday, Peace, can’t you honor his death with remembrance and not do this to us right now?!”
Peace: “Wha… we are all grieving, Cynthia, you can’t let the dog’s death ruin our wedding day!!”
Just get the moodlet manager out.
Jaime: “Actually, I stayed behind, I’d never miss my friend’s son’s wedding for anything in the world.”
Jada: “I see pants didn’t stop you from coming here today as well.”
The curse of the wedding ruining cellphone ring apparently won’t call it quits either.
Phone: ♪ Never gonna give you up ♪
Jaime: “Did I say I wouldn’t miss this party for the world? I meant, great party, I better leave before his tears flood the park.”
Jada: “What the shit, she’s not even around here, she didn’t even CALL you, why are you talking about Egret right now, you dumb shit!”
Cynthia: “See, this is exactly why I didn’t want to do this while we were grieving. Look at you, Peace. You’re a snotty mess.”
Wrath: “And that’s what makes this party good.”
Now that Cynthia is in the family, let’s point out that she is, in fact, good, but she’s also a messy klepto. She’s friendly though, and athletic. She likes veggie burgers and indie music, and her favorite color is black. I forgot her LTW as usual, like it matters. She might already be in the correct job track for whatever it is, BUT I may be thinking of Marlena, who is, even though there’s no way in hell Marlena’s gonna make that.
Cynthia: “If you don’t stop your boohooing on my happy day, I’m going to knock your lights out, I don’t care if you are my new husband or not.”
Happiness: “This was a gift from Sarah to the most amazing couple in the world, who managed to stick it out even through the most impossible odds. I want you to have this and be inspired to have a marriage as good as theirs.”
Yes, because Bella and Pat had a marriage that Peace and Cynthia should really have as well. We all know how good they had it.
Happiness actually ended up sending them two gifts through their own mailbox. The second gift was a fireman pole.
Happiness: “Yes, well, the pole is for the wifey 😉 you’re gonna really enjoy watching her go down that pole, you know, for emergencies. Also, install it in the hallway, ahem, for the others to watch, er, use. Love, your father.”
Anger: “No fucking way I get outdone by anyone for the coolest wedding gifts. Here’s a whole damn fighter jet, for you to smite your enemies. Fucking use it. Use it on Kindness. He calls me again to “just talk” and I’ll strangle him myself.”
I’d hate to see what he’d do at birthdays if they’d let him gift.
Even the mean cat cannot resist your charm, Happiness!
Betsy: “This is not how I wanted to make friends!”
Happiness: “Oh Ophaniel! If only you can see how the cat actually likes me!” *tears of a rapper*
Peace: “I don’t remember what the opportunity was for, but I did it. May have been ghost related, I don’t know. But I think the game is confused. I’m not achieving the same achievement every 10 seconds.”
Back to the broken sound track bullshit. Sigh. Peace did an opportunity here, and upon completion, it played the jingle that plays whenever a sim finishes an opportunity. And it kept playing it and playing it… It didn’t even really complete the opportunity for him.
Peace: “Betel would be so proud.”
Wrath: “I don’t need help, I need a sandwich. I have never been so hungry in all my life.”
Wrath: “So I’m not hungry? That’s what that stomach pain is? What did the prostitute say to the banana?”
Betsy: “JUST GO TO THE HOSPITAL!”
*Jingle plays, please stop, Peace*
Betsy: “You know, I’m tired of wailing for this woman. I think she’s just ignoring me.”
Wrath: “You just now realizing this?”
*Jingle fucking plays*
Wrath: “I’m washing dishes, stupid! Didn’t you hear me a minute ago?! All dishes are being washed, I’m not wasting a sink full of water on one bowl. Now go upstairs and get that plate near the upstairs bathroom. It’s been there for days.”
JUST GO TO THE HOSPITAL ALREADY, WRATH.
Florida man: “Yeahhhh, I’m gonna get me some of that tonight!”
Florida man: “Well, you’re gonna have to wait until we get home for that, we can’t just go at it like rabbits right here in front of the hospital.”
Florida man: “You say that like we haven’t done it before!”
*The Seventh Trumpet of the Apocalypse*
Kindness: *Has gone blind from being a witness* “I didn’t need my sight anyway! Now let’s go deliver that baby, Wrath!”
Marlena: “THE CHAIR WILL ALWAYS HAVE A PLACE IN MY HEART, BOO HOO”
No one gives a crap, get lost, Marlena.
*Returned two days later to no more broken noises, thank Jesus*
Betsy: “Looks like you lost your crib, little brother.”
Julian: “I always wondered what it would be like to live in the toybox anyway.”
Cynthia: “It’s my evolution day! I’m evolving into a crab woman! Woo! I’m also gonna regret it and go through a mid-life crisis, ok, bye.”
Hi, I know I haven’t had a new post in a while, and it was mainly due to a bunch of crashes and bugs and anger that my legacies have been stagnant for the past month. But do you know what’s nice when you finally get everything working right and on top again?
ADDING A NEW EP AND PRAYING EVERYTHING HOLDS TOGETHER
NEW EP EVERYONE 😀
Time for a certain test family to get in gear and try out the new waters in:
(Click the pic for some tropical fun!)