Archive | October 2014

I Demand Justice

Welcome back to the Fallens.  Last chapter we came back from an unintentional hiatus, and between the baby skilling and LTW grinding, Peace got impregnated by aliens.  So far it seems like everyone’s excited for a little baby alien…….

*Nervous laughter that devolves into sobbing*

1Agony: “Ooooh, look what I get to play with, and you don’t…”

Serenity: “That’s NOT fair!  I want an IF to play with toooo!” *Screams and smashes her thumbs off*

2There we go, now no one has an IF and everyone is equal again!  Are you two babies happy now?!

I actually think the junkyard has the entire collection of IFs now though, now that I think about it.  They remind me of little cheap McDonald’s trinkets you get in happy meals.  I’d collect them.

3Happiness: “Thank the good Maker!  Someone finally remembered I’ve been living on the street this whole time!”

That’s not my fault.  Well it could be.  Happiness has a bunch of shows he does around town, and since he’s still making us a lot of money, I can’t help that he gets confused and ends up bumming it around town because he can’t remember his own route home until like, two hours, before his next show.

Briana: “Actually I do not think we’ve ever even met.  Anyway, it’s nice to find a fellow hobo as styish as me.  What’s yo numbah?”

While we are standing outside of the school though, let’s skulk around looking at more potential heirs shall we?

4Happiness: “Ok wow, let’s not skulk for heirs anymore, I’m scared.”

Jarrett: “Wow, rude.  It’s just a poorly unrendered plant.”

He’s growing up way too fast.  I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.

5Since Peace’s little alien incident, he’s been wanting to go the future and the past in the time machine.  Unfortunately, he only stays in the time machine for a couple of seconds before it spits him back out, fulfilling neither of his wishes.

Peace: “The stupid machine is giving me this “one person capacity” silliness.  It’s not funny!  Just because I’m gaining a little weight doesn’t call for jokes like that.”

6Cynthia: “Woohooed and then put back into the corner.  Is this what my life has resorted to in the end?”

You’re the idiots who’d rather stand around until you piss yourselves, so I don’t want to hear it.  Just stay there and stare out the window for another eight hours, see if I give a shit.

7Peace is rounding out the last of his skills for his LTW, and he’s taken up painting virtually everything in mosaic and grids.  I guess because he’s a genius and/or computer whiz.  I like them.  When this is all said and done, I’m keeping the majority of them.

8Yeah, taking a break from work and school, like my sims haven’t been doing that the whole time anyway.

9Fantastic choice, Wrath.  We don’t even have a swimming pool.

Wrath: “The hot tub should count.”

Yes, yes it should.

Wrath: “A hot tub full of BEES”

Let’s leave the actual planning part to Peace or someone else.

10Brave: “Oh man, bruh.  I need your help, Briana.  I’m seeing the weirdest Shrek OC I never thought I’d dream up.  Dear Heaven please pull me through this and I’ll cut back on my natural herb garden.”

Briana: “I was concerned for the giant man orange too but while you’re wearing a bikini bottom that skimpy, I’m not doing a damn thing for you, lady.”

Charity: *Agrees with Briana because she’s completely too much of a prude to even wear a bathing suit to the party*

11Briana: “Now I think I’m getting a contact high from just standing next to you.  There’s a vampire with a very tiny, and naked, butt standing here with a duck floatie.”

Brave: “Oh snap, bruh.  I think I’m seein it too.”

I don’t even have to invite Jaime to anything anymore.  He just shows up anyway.  Kind of endearing to know Happiness does still have a friend out there that still doesn’t own a decent pair of pants.

12By the way, there’s your pool for the party, guys.  Go nuts.

Briana: “I’m pretty sure that’s a trap for a drowning death.  I’m going home.”

Brave: “Same here.”

So everyone went home almost instantly and the party was “decent”.

13Cynthia: “I have good news for you, Serenity!  You’re going to be a big sister!  Isn’t that just swell!”

Serenity: “That’s good and all, but did we have to go ALL THE WAY into someone else’s yard for you to feed me, I mean”

14Jada: “Congradulation on your shitty party almost tanking Wrath.  It was so bad that I had to beat up that Brave girl and steal her bikini bottom to make up for the shitty time I was having.”

Wrath: “What does spaghetti meat balls and dead babies have in common?  They both spend a delicate amount of time in a meat grinder.”

Jada: “No one wants to eat your dead baby spaghetti, Wrath.”

15Jada: “Whoa, what the fuck was that?  That had to be the worst bathing suit I’ve ever seen anyone have the audacity to call a bathing suit.”

Wrath: “Don’t worry, I’m about to take care of that.”

16Wrath: “For thinking you can even pull that off, 9 bees.”

Marlena: “BUT I’M STILL BEAUTIFUL AT 110 YEARS OLD, CAN’T I NOT SHOW IT OFF?!”

Peace: *Background gagging noises*

17I really hoped everyone would stay for the massive birthday set up we’re hurling at half the household, but since the pool party lasted 10 seconds, that’s not the case I suppose.  Best we go on and get this over with.

18Betsy: “I’m so excited!  I actually get a cake for my birthday!  Wow, I’m just so thrilled that I’m gonna go ahead and grow up right here!”

Well I guess when I look at it this way, I save $30.  Thanks for that then, Betsy.

19Betsy was always my favorite since she rarely ever did anything wrong and was politely out of my way for the most part.  She actually grew up quite cute, so I hope she moves out into a nice little home and not where ever her sister and father ended up at.

20Cruelty: “Dear Guardian Demon of Wishes, hear my command and make it true.  I wish that I do not grow up to wear skanky hooker outfits that I’m currently forced to look at.”

21Too bad, so sad.

Cruelty: “Fuck a duck.”

She’s now a virtuoso, which is whatever bleh.  Moving on.

22Jada: “I see it’s time for my beautiful ELDER birthday, isn’t it?”

Isn’t it fantastic to be married into a legacy late in life?

Jada: “Hahaha.  Hell no.”

23Jada: “Aw, they took my sexy bikini bottom away, that’s not cool.”

Cruelty: *Becomes so disgusted with her mother that she turns into Betsy*

24Happiness: “Oh no.  I think my son ate a whole cake.”

Peace: “All this extra padding that poofed on me has upset me so much!  I feel like the only thing that’s going to make me feel better is if I go yell at my wife for being unfaithful to me.”

25WHAT

WHY

26WHO IS THIS GUY

WHERE DID HE EVEN COME FROM

Cynthia: “I don’t even know, I never have an opportunity to get out of the house!  I swear I didn’t do anything wrong and this is stressing me out!”

I BELIEVE YOU BUT WHAT THE HELL

27Peace: “WHOSE BABY ARE YOU CARRYING, CYNTHIA?!”

Cynthia: “WHOSE BABY ARE YOU CARRYING, THAT’S THE REAL QUESTION HERE”

28Peace: “Oh good gravy, I’m so sorry!  I just have been so emotional since I gained this weight.  I’m also really sad since my nose fell off, have you seen it anywhere??”

29Cynthia: “Sigh, you really have been mushy since that alien touched your butt.  Fine, you’re forgiven.”

Peace: “Fantastic!  We should really get that boom boom boom on, later, you know, whenever I lose some of this water weight.”

Cynthia: “Ah yes.  “Water weight”.  Sure.”

30Peace: “Now that me and your mother have worked out that that Van guy is a liar and a scam, let’s finally get your birthday underway, ok sweetie?”

31Serenity grew up fine, she’s now a coward though.  So I guess I’m wrong, she didn’t grow up fine.  Who forgot to potty train her?!

Me, I guess that was me.

32Peace: “Something’s wrong!  The extra weight is trying to push itself out of me and it hurts!  Call an ambulance, Wrath!”

Wrath: *Would rather tell her shitty jokes to the shower than give a damn*

33Peace: “I am now peeing my favorite color!  I’m so conflicted right now!  What is even happening to my genitals?!”

34Peace: “My… my very own baby!  Well diddly dang darn!  Not sure which organ you came out of, but I feel the love of a parent, just as I did when I found out Cynthia had Serenity.”

35Hmm… what?  No.  Noo.  NO WHAT IS THIS. WHY IS THIS EVEN A THING IN THE GAME, HOW IS THIS FAIR

I ONLY JUST HAVE 12 SIMS IN THE HOUSEHOLD THAT’S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL

NO, GO AWAY ALIENS THIS IS MINE

36Peace: “Rommach and the other aliens can go probe and harvest some other sim’s alien baby, because this one is mine.  This is my baby girl, and they cannot have her.”

37Peace: “Do you hear that, you crazy alien fuchsias?!  This is MY baby!  Touch my child, and I will swear a wrath unlike you have ever seen!!”

Wrath: “Nah, they’ve already seen me, I stand outside naked all the time.”

38Peace: “Oh, they… took my child anyway.  Ooh.”

I thought a child service agent was going to come pick her up and I was just going to kill them but, ok teleportation makes more sense…

And I can’t even find the baby in MC.  I can’t even force it to come back.  This isn’t how I wanted my first alien baby to go down.

RIP Itszumi, Itazutil, Yzma, whatever your name was.  I do hope to see you again one day, but I apparently don’t know what I’m doing.

39Brave: *Has overdosed on nature*

Wrath: “I think it’s time to set her straight on the “great outdoors”, huehuehuehuehuehue”

40Wrath: “W…wow.  She used her great natural magic to turn into a plant when I threw the bees at her.  Now I feel like I’M the one on drugs…”

41Serenity: “So you’re the big brother I heard stories about.  Granted they aren’t really good stories.  They always start like, “once upon a time, there lived a Bathroom Troll”…”

Julian: “No, that sounds about right.  Welcome to my humble abode, I would recommend you not touch anything in here.”

Obviously, Julian doesn’t touch anything in here either.

42Wrath: *Hilariously mocks Marlena*

Marlena: “WHY MUCH YOU THINK MY TORTURE IS SO FUNNY”

43Wrath: “Ah yes, I feel full and happy watching you swell with welts.  Behold, all my happy LTW sparkles are so tickley.”

Marlena: “I’M FAR FROM BEING TICKLED OVER HERE, WRATH”

44*Feels the warm tickley sensation of childbirth*

Cynthia: “WHAT’S YOUR DEFINITION OF TICKLING”

Unfortunately, Peace is busy with his LTW, and I don’t like breaking him between canvases, so just go on and birth it out here in the bathroom, Cynthia.  You’ll be FINE.

45

Cynthia: “Stinks that you have to be pink, seeing as your father really wanted another green child in his life so much that he popped one out himself.  Too bad he failed.  Ah well.  You’ll just have to try extra hard to make it up for him.”

This child is named Justice, especially since what I think those aliens did to Peace wasn’t ethical at all.  I WANT MY RETRIBUTION.

Her favorites include latin, firecracker shrimp, and the color blue, AGAIN.  Getting a little tired of all the blue, but I guess at least it’s not green.  She’s a little couch potato, and she came with good locked in, so she will be the heiress unless Serenity gets the trait as well before her YA birthday.

46Cynthia: “You will bunk with your big sister for now, Justice.  And when your father stops boohooing all over the house, I hope you two will become good acquaintances.”

Peace: “Poor little Ibbajibba won’t ever get to meet her baby sister… she never even got to meet her older sister.  This room feels so empty to me, even with the loss of just one :(”

Cynthia: “You don’t even remember her name!”

47Agony: “Well I have a surprise for you guys!  It’s my birthday!  TADA!  It snuck up on everyone!  Either give me a cake or please place your neck in between my hands here.”

Sorry about that Agony.  Not only did I forget, but I don’t think I would have cared if I hadn’t anyway.

48Agony: “Well you know who would care?  Our family car sitting in my mother’s inventory.  He’ll be my friend, I bet.”

She’s rolled vehicle enthusiast.  What a fantastic trait to waste a trait slot on.

49Wrath: “I am out of the bees.  So as her punishment, I want her to go to the Peace and Love school.”

Agony: “NO, THEY WILL TEACH ME TO LOVE NATURE AND HATE HEAVY MACHINERY!  DON’T TAKE ME FROM MY FRIEND LIKE THAT”

50Wrath: “The real reason I’m sending you away is because I’m too fucking lazy to buy you your own bed in buy mode, just as I’m too lazy to move Cruelty’s bed into your bedroom.  But here’s the deal.  Answer one of my riddles, and you may stay here with us.”

Agony: “You know what, nevermind, fuck that, I’ll just go pack my bags.”

51Wrapping this chapter up with the third child of the Florida Men.  All three of their children’s names start with a J, and I’m actually really excited to see if they will have a fourth and continue the line.  Especially since they seem all about getting knocked up two seconds after popping out the last one.

 

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Crash Landing

Oh lord, it’s been over 5 months since I last updated, hasn’t it…

That’s a long time to not give a shit about the Fallen family.  In the time that I could have updated, half a fetus’ could have developed or something.  I’m not good at comparing time events.  Apparently I compare everything to a full term pregnancy.  I think that’s just something I do.

Wow, off topic.  Alrighty, so what did we leave the Fallen clan doing when we were last here?  It’s an honest question, because I don’t remember.

1Wrath: *Punches Marlena in the uterus*

Marlena: “The jokes on you Wrath, that doesn’t work anymore.  We know, we tried.”

Happiness: “Oh, how we tried.”

Agony: *Stews in five month’s worth of baby shit*

2Apparently the sims themselves don’t remember what’s happened since the last time we played.  Happiness is apparently jacked for his son’s graduation, despite the fact that Peace is like 30 or something.  I at least remember that much.

3Cynthia: “Yeah.  We’ve come to the conclusion that you are, in fact, a bathroom troll.  Because this is nasty.”

Julian: *Grieves for Mephistopheles for 153 days*

4Jada: “Oh hell, this still lives in here.”

I see no one’s composure towards the babies have changed.  Nothing like just coming in to complain about them and then doing nothing about them.  I see why I stopped playing.

5Jada: “And YOU.  What the fuck did you do to that toilet?!  Where am I supposed to piss now because it’s not going to be on that nasty-ass busted thing.  How about I go pee in your bed, how would you like that?!”

Julian: *About to start boohooing about the cat for 5 hours straight*

6Auuuuuwwwgh, I’m already so thrilled to be back with these guys again.

Julian: *Marathoning that shit*

7Julian: “Now it’s my turn.”

Jada: “Heh.”

Peace: “I don’t want to say it, but I really do feel like I live in a circus sometimes.”

8Serenity: “It’s time that some of them died off, daddy!”

Peace: “I know that’s not the right mindset we’re supposed to have, sweetheart, but you may be right…”

The compassion on the good side of the family is apparently wearing thin, I see.

9Wrath: “They have accepted me as their queen, and do as I command.  It’s fabulous, even though they can’t bring me anything heavier than an empty beer can.  And they don’t understand jokes very well.  Nevermind, this is quite boring.”

10Marlena: “Many many stings have rendered my nervous system worthless, Wrath.  I can no longer feel.  Sorry, but your idea of torture just isn’t gonna cut it for you anymore.”

11Wrath: “THEN WHAT’S THE POINT OF BEING THE QUEEN BEE?!  AND WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN OLD GEEZER AND A CHICKEN NECK?! WHAT, WHAT” *Mid-life crisis*

12Briana: “Hm.  You seem to have lost that ghostly green glow you had about you, Serenity.  Here, drink more of these nasty green bottles until that color comes back.”

I’m pretty sure that NO BRIANA

13The massive amount of food being thrown at the baby confused her and she fled by warping outside onto the balcony on the other side of the wall.  She took the second bottle with her.

14Wrath: “And now I can no longer interact with my own baby.”

FUCK

Agony: “You should make Briana suffer for this, mother.”

Wrath: “I sure as hell will.”

15Wrath: “For endangering the life of my child in a food-related limbo, that’s 60 bees, Briana.  Buzz buzz.  Get rekt.”

Briana: “HOW IS THIS IN ANY WAY ENCOURAGING CHILD SAFETY BECAUSE THIS IS HYPOCRISY”

16Yeah Jada.  Work for dat paper.

17Wrath: “On my way to fix my broken baby.  So a prison escapee breaks out of prison, much like I have broken my arm just now-”

What’s so damn hard about you people using the stairs?

18Wrath: “Someone’s put lube on the top of the pole!  Who the fuck does that?!  Jada!  Get over here and pop my arm back into my shoulder!”

Jada: “I haven’t had my nightly Hot Pocket yet, Wrath, so do it yourself.”

19Jada: “For fuck’s sake, is no one going to stop that screaming brat?!  Do I have to do it myself?!  I’m gonna end up doing it myself, aren’t I.”

Wrath: “I’m trying!  But this pole!  A stripper, a prostitute and a nun are sitting at a bus stop talking about stuff…”

20Wrath: “Oh, I see you reached the child before I did… and you actually fed it instead of stomping on it like I thought you’d… ok then!  I’m going to go back downstairs again!  Wee!”

The pole was deleted.

21Jada’s decency was short lived though.

Peace: “We actually have more beds than we do people in this house.  I don’t understand.”

Neither do I.

23

Ah, here’s something I don’t understand, while we are on the subject.  I do not think Julian has ever gone to school, ever.  His sisters have gone a couple of times, some times they don’t, but I do not believe he himself has ever needed to get on the school bus.  Every time this clock runs down, it resets back to 24.

22Meanwhile, sims like Cruelty, the ACTUAL children of this legacy, always have to get on the bus.

Julian: “Papa Peace takes pity on me because my actual dad doesn’t love me, so I never have to go!”

24Maybe after he ages up he’ll have to take educational responsibility.

Betsy: “Daddy?!  Is that you”

25Wrath: “For automatically causing the camera to pan over to someone that isn’t me and making me think that Marlena was finally dying and falsely raising my hopes, that’s four bees.”

Julian: *Doesn’t even know what four is because he’s unlearned*

26Wrath: “Oh bee friend.  One day, the camera will pan, and her corpse will light up our lifes, just like it should.  Ahh.  That would be nice.  Let’s go sting her right now.”

27Wrath: “The Dark Lords are failing me.  Why does she not die??”

Jada; “Now that I think about it, bees should be a viable death option.”

28Cruelty: “How the shit is this fair?!  Those other kids at the house don’t have to go to school, so why do I?!”

So she lost her queue and fuck ever hoping for her to get school honors, Wrath.  While we are waiting for her mother to come down to the school to herd her into the buiding, I took the opportunity to look at potential future spouses.

29Here we have an evil sim and a good sim right off the bat.  Sandi is the purple chick and she is evil, and is apparently dating another evil sim somewhere in town.  Dereck is the red head, but unfortunetely he’s Envy’s grandson or something.  Pretty sure his good trait has made him the family reject.

And the pink kid in the back is a broken dumbass and has no importance.

30Alton is Dereck’s twin I think, and while he has neither trait, he’s actually really cool to look at.  Sucks he’s related to the Fallens already.

The chick he’s stuck in is Beatriz, who’s actually a Secksie decendant.  She’s cute as well.

Neither have good/evil traits, but they are my favorite so far, and there’s still some hope for them next birthday or something.

31Here’s an evil fairy.  Ew.  I like him.

32Peace: “Look at him, sleeping all peacefully, he doesn’t need to be yelled at, he has a hard enough life as it is.  Maybe he’ll feel up to going to school in the morning instead then.”

And maybe he was a waste of our time.

32Ah hah hah, well then.  This guy sent Marlena a tombstone in the mail.  Dropping a hint there, for us eh?  I like the way this Jevon guy thinks.

33Wrath: “I finally made it all the way up to the school!  First and formost, if you light a school bus full of children on fire, will they make a sound?”

Cruelty: “Mom, it’s 4 in the afternoon, school is over so don’t even bother.”

34Wrath: “You’ve always been a dissappoint.  53 bees.”

Cruelty: “AAAaahh.  Oh.  The bees didn’t even show up.  That’s… that’s a good sign I guess, but did you just throw bees at your own daughter?!”

Chadwick back there is a good sim.  I should bookmark that shit.

35Peace: “Why must you always be up here hogging up Serenity when you know I’m on my way to take care of her?!  Briana, can I not spend any time with my little baby?”

Briana: “Shhhh, soon, Serenity.  Soon, I will successfully imprint into you my will, and you will too learn to not trust that whore of a mother of yours nor that slinky little man you call father…” *Mindmelds with toddler*

Peace: *Sweats profusely*

36Wrath: “For touching other people’s babies, that’s gonna be… hmm… does any one else here that buzzing sound?”

Briana: “Am I just not allowed to have a say in what goes on around here?!”

37I guess the bee venom enhanced her puberty rapidly, because Briana then had her birthday and YA’d all over the floor.

Wrath: “Good.  Get the hell out of my house.”

I tried to move Briana back in with her father since that’s what she seems to want, but I could not find John in any of the houses in town, but he’s still alive according to the tree.  Go figure.  He’s probably slumming in some drug alley, I don’t know.  So Briana was kicked to the streets.  She’s with her father now.  Bye bitch.

38Next couple of days involved nothing but baby skilling.

Wrath, you can’t teach the baby to shit in the toilet by trying to shit in the toilet with her, just… just for the record.

39NO

40Peace: “NO”

41

Wrath: “Hey look.  They’re gonna come in Peace.”

Peace: “BUT I DON’T WANT THEM TO”

Cynthia: “I’ve already made that joke though.  Whatever.  I’m going to bed.”

42Two seconds later.

Space ship: *Crashes in the street*

43Peace: “Wow, that was the quickest abduction I’ve ever heard of.  You don’t seem to know how to alien very well.”

Rommach: “Wow really, and after I offered to walk you to the door and kiss you goodnight.”

44Peace: “HE’S NOT EVEN GOING TO CALL ME IN THE MORNING”

Maybe that will be the last we hear from him then.

45Peace: “Wow mom.  Are you sure we can’t have Betel back?  Or at least let me hire a maid, because this place is getting rank.”

Shh, leave her be, Peace, she’s ACTUALLY doing something other than standing in the hallway being stank.  Maybe if we stay very quiet and avoid eye contact with her, she’ll keep doing something…

46Nevermind.

Wrath: “THERE you are Jada.  I haven’t seen you in a few days.  Nice to see you finally fell out of the wall.”

47Jada: “Why we here”

Wrath: “I want sexy time, and our bed is broken (WOW WHAT A SURPRISE).  Also I want a baby, and we need to crank one out before Peace and Cynthia do, since Briana’s vacant spot isn’t going to be there forever.  So pants off, and get me a gavel.  We’re going to try something hot.”

48Isn’t nature amazing.

49Peace: “Oh.  What a surprise.  The kitchen is still a horrible mess.”

Cynthia: “You really trusted your mother to actually clean this mess, didn’t you.  That’s really sad, Peace.”

50Cynthia: “But if you want, we can leave this kitchen and go do… other matters.  In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not wearing pants…”

Peace: “NICE”

Cynthia: “I’d like you to show me just exactly what you learned from those aliens…”

Betsy and Julian: “NOT NICE”

51Cynthia and Peace: “VERY NICE”

52OF COURSE halfway through the woohoo I notice this.  I thought we were safely past this, APPARENTLY NOT

Peace: “It’s ok, a little fat to last me through the winter won’t hurt me!”

It’s summer.

53Cynthia: “Great.  We’re both going to be getting fat, aren’t we…”

MAYBE.  Who knows, maybe Wrath or Jada might?!  WHO KNOWS?!  I know.  and I won’t say anything until next chaptah.

54 Nascar: “We murdered them.  We murdered the last family there for the change of scenery.”

Veronica: “It’s ok though!  Because you should see the view we get from the kitchen window now!”

55Also I’m 99.99% sure that Cortney and Janna are related.  You know.  I have a hunch.

56And the Floridians have bred again.  At least their babies names go together, they got that going for them.  Anyway, let us see their first offspring, since it survived it’s first birthday.

57Hmmm.  He looks almost… normal compared to them.  Maybe the future will hold more answers for this little weirdo.