Archive | July 2015

Gremlins Don’t go to Boarding School

1Baal: “Behold, everyone.  It is I, Baal, and my magic ball friend, Ball, who has been magically levitating here for six months straight!  Isn’t nature amazing.”

Look at what’s back after a 6 month hiatus!  I didn’t really have a solid reason as to why I took such a long break with the FISBI this go around.  I initially thought that I could go ahead and focus all my attention on the other legacy, finish the Rainbowcy up real quick and then get on with this one without having to juggle them, but after all the real life shit that stopped me from wanting to play altogether for a while, that didn’t get done either.  So so much for that.  I could say I hope there are no more future hiatuses, but really, at this point, there’s probably no way this is going to be the last one.  I’m sorry that this is taking so long and I just as to just bear with me as we crank this thing towards our 10 gen goal.

We shall start with a small treat to get this chapter underway.  Around December I finally had someone show me how to jack around with the CAS settings in Master Controller.  You know, I’m FINALLY getting around to learning what all MC can do and all.  After 3 or so years, you know.  So I thought what better way to get some fucked up genetics in this town by fucking up some genetics.  So one late night CAS trip and I added a beautiful new resident to live in Hidden Springs.2She’s the newest green skinned resident to live in Hidden Springs, after previously spending all her life living under a busted cooling tower.  Halfway through her construction, I thought her head looked a bit like an Arwing from Star Fox, and it kinda stuck, so since I never really gave her a name, I’ve just been calling her the Arwing monster.

The Arwing monster: *High pitched shrill screaming* 8U3 She was plopped right down into the house of the Florida Men, where she will marry Jarrett when he comes of age, and birth their vastly detailed and extraordinary future children.

Jarrett: “I’m uncomfortable with this forced and bullshit marriage”

The Arwing Monster: “Shuddup ‘n get in my bed bb”4Random Werewolf named Angela I think: “What the holy hell am I looking at”

TAM: *gasp* “U R bootyful.” :0

5 TAM: “Gimme a kissu :y”

Back the camera up, please.6 Angela: *Gets her licky on some titty*

TAM: “Yeah this is the type of attention I signed up for”

I don’t feel safe leaving her unsupervised.7Angela: “Yeah who’s a bad girl it’s meeeee”

TAM: “Plbbbbbbt”

Florida Man: “What the fuck did I walk in on happening on my newly shampooed carpet”
8 Florida Man: “Actually, you are kinda cute!  I always wanted a pet frog!  I think I’ll name you Cassidy, and keep you in the terrarium upstairs.”

TAM: :O

Ok, I’m wishing her the best of luck, and leaving the house now.

With that, the creation and installation of the Arwing monster was the last thing I did back in January, so we’re really getting back to some relatively new Fallen activity in the household.9 We start off with the actual house still sleeping and not getting the memo that the game is back on.

Textures:  *Is hibernating*

Wrath: “They’ve been snoozing for 6 months, do you really think they are going to wake up on a dime?!”

Apparently everything in the house looks sleepy, not just the sims.10 Wrath: “Ok before I start with the great joke about stuffing old people through a pencil sharpener, I’m calling to send my shitty teenage clone child to your boarding school.  I don’t actually wish it, but I’m sick of her loitering around my house breaking all my bathroom appliances, and we just got back from a 6th month vacation.  I am not dealing with this first thing off the bat.”

And with that there goes Cruelty.  Get the hell out of here.11 I SAID GO

Cruelty: “Haha, my mother’s a world class embarrassment.”

Granted it’s almost August and she’s still wearing her Halloween costume, but that’s really my fault I suppose.12 And I don’t know when or why I deleted the bottom rooms of the house (or even if it was I that did so), but WHY DID I DO THAT13 I didn’t really feel like rebuilding a room, so I made it an outside nook for Betel, if I ever allow her to come back.14 Wrath: “How do you stop a baby from drowning?  You take your foot off the back of it’s head!”

Jada: “I’m going to ignore your desperate attempts to get me to impregnate you right now to point out how lumpy your right booby is.  Get that checked out and then come talk to me again.”15 Wrath: “Aw yeah, come in here and put that wienie in my hole”

Jada: “I’m about to take this wienie off and just beat you to death with it.”16 Come on, mama needs a new genetically mixed child!17 Wrath: “I shall now write a song and serenade to my favorite bush in the whole wide world.  Not yours Jada move the fuck out of the way.  This is for you jelly belly shrub.”

Jada: “Dammit, I didn’t get to the guitar in time.  I was going to smash it before she started being an embarrassment :(“18 Cynthia: *Discusses important political matters with the dog out in the middle of a storm*

Baal: “I just wanted to play with my toy, is that too much to ask?”19 Cynthia: “Why in heaven’s name is there a soggy hot dog taking care of my baby?”

Jada: “Because the mother’s too busy being doped up acting, trying to hold a discussion with an animal out in the rain.  Don’t shit talk me while I’M taking care of your kid, k?”20 Peace: “I still think about you all the time my sweet unnamed child…”

Cynthia: “If you want to have woohoo with me, get in here already and stop dinking around out there.”21 More hunky dooby.  The easy access to pictures is a great cover for the REAL reason we got a photobooth on the lot.22 Wrath: “What does the lesbian vampire say to the other?  “Same time next month.””

Yes, lovely, Wrath.  Let’s let the baby play bouncy horse near the row of bee houses.

Wrath: “No one in this family cares.  Look at the father.  He doesn’t give a shit.”

Peace: “Once I’m done with this painting, I’ll go over there and save my child.  I need to mix my greens better first though…”
25 Wrath: “Yesss, you little shart.  Lead the bees to victory.”

Justice: “I shall be the leader this bee villa needs to succeed!”

Wrath: “When I have kids, I’m going to be a great mother.”

Cynthia: “What the…”26 Good parenting skills, Wrath.

Justice: “I think I swallowed one.”27 Jesus, WHY are you still here in the house?!  We sent you away to boarding school two nights ago!

Cruelty: “As the new bathroom goblin, I require to remain present in the bathroom at all times.”

AND BREAKING THE TUB AGAIN, I WILL DELETE YOU AND PRETEND YOU NEVER HAPPENED.28Peace: “Surprise accidental purple nurple!”

Serenity: “Really dad?  That’s immature.”29 Serenity: “MOOOOM!  Dad’s being inappropriate!”

Peace: “Don’t run off and tell on me!  It was an accidental twisting of the nipple!  This bathroom wasn’t made for two people to fit and I didn’t know you were in here!!”30 Cynthia: “This is just swell.  I’m lost in the woods again, and this time, I don’t think I can escape this desolate and dreary land.”31 Cynthia: “Oh wait, it’s just the backdrop from the Halloween party, since someone hasn’t spent the last half year cleaning this up like they were supposed to.”

Cruelty: “I don’t do fuckin’ chores around here, piss off.”32Serenity: “He followed me in here momma… help… me…”

Cynthia: “Stop scaring our child with threats of nipple twisting.  That’s illegal in most states I think.”

Peace: “It was an ACCIDENT, I swear!”33 And then Peace lost his fucking mind.

Peace: “Does this look like the face of a man that gives a rootin’ tootin’.”34 Peace: “But no wait listen, it’s gonna be a temporary break up I promise!  See, if I appear as a single father to the aliens, they will take pity on me and return Ivalice or Iguana or Iggy Azalea to us, whatever her name was.  And we can get remarried and be a whole big happy family again, Cynthia!”

Serenity: “Nope, gonna go press my face against this dimension warping radio and block out the sad stupid stuff I am hearing.”35 Cynthia: “Why my husband being so stupid.”

Cruelty: “Yesssss, domestic disturbances.  I get off on this kinda stuff.”

Why don’t you GO TO BOARDING SCHOOL ALREADY36 Cruelty: “Haha, you’re getting dumped harder than you were by your first husband!”

Peace: “Stop cruelly mocking her, Cruelty!  But yeah, Cynthia, please sign the divorce papers, ASAP so I can turn them into the Alien Childcare and Foreign Relations Department in the morning.”37 Cynthia: “Why can’t he understand that that baby doesn’t even exist anymore…”

Cruelty: “Now I’m so glad I skipped out of going to an expensive boarding school for this!”38 Peace: “I must at least try to get my daughter back!  I can’t go on my whole life knowing there is a child out there without her parents, me and you!  So I must dump you to maybe try to get her back!  It’s a flawless plan!”

Cynthia: “Can’t you just be happy with the daughters you got??”39 Serenity: *Silently sobs now that she has to pick a parent and will opt to move out with Happiness instead because both of these guys are clods*40Peace: “Why can’t she understand.  I can’t have a whole family when one of us is missing.  I must appease to the alien overlords in hopes that they see I can stand on my own, and raise my other two, in hopes they will see me fit to have my third back!  This plan must work!  It must!”

Still it’s a shitty excuse to dump your wife out of the blue like this.
41 Peace: “Nah man, I’m gonna make… peace.  We’ll fix this, and it’ll be easy to go back to the way it was before once I get my child.”

Cynthia: “I will slap you if you touch me.”42 Angela: “I chose to ignore the bullhockey downstairs with my grandchild and decided to spend the whole time making noise up here with my friend the billard table.”

She really does have a hard on for pool.43 Angela: *Attempts to use her ghosty psychic powers to cheat*

Gnome: “Nah, really I popped her in the nose with that ball.”

I don’t understand the trick trying to be done here.
44 Serenity was so sad from her parents divorce that she slept outside.  She also had no choice to do so, as there was a ghost out there, and she was scared.

Liam: “There’s no reason to be scared of me!  I can’t help it if in my ghost life stage that I grew a hunchback, I’m still the fantastic vibrate personality I always was.”

Right.
45 The exact thing you would do with your newly divorced ex upon finding out that they were leaving you to find an alien baby.

Cynthia: “Haha, you may have gone for my blind side, but you left yourself wide open!”

Peace: “Good thing we are using Cruelty’s pillows and not our own!”46 Cynthia: “WAIT, NO, I’m still made at you for divorcing me!”

Peace: “Can’t blame a man for trying…”47 Jada: “-and also while I was at work, there was a man that came in with his testicles hanging all the way out to here, and he asks for a ham sandwich, but he was being a fuckin’ obvious perv so I smacked him with our largest iron cast… are you even paying attention to my story, Wrath?!”48Wrath: “Ew gross!  What is this floating blue square of that gremlin’s face telling us that it thinks it’s still our kid?!”

Jada: “About fucking time, I swear.  We were going to launch her into the sun if she didn’t leave soon.”
49 Wrath: “Thank fuck it’s gone.  Now we can prepare room for it’s newer, better replacement!”

Jada: “It’s still part of our household, Wrath.”

Wrath: “What’s the difference between a vagina and a ziploc bag?”50Peace: “Soon I will find the home planet, and send them a strongly written encouragement letter about the safe return of my child.  I mean how many stars can I shuffle through before I find one with a life supporting planet with aliens on it?”

Surely this will end well.

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