Archive | June 2016

Chill Out

1Agony: “Huh, the Marlena woman died while I was gone.  Does this mean that uh, she just stands in the living room for all eternity now or what?  I knew I shouldn’t have left the Love and Shit School.”

Angela: “Goodness no.  Now that I can finally properly introduce my daughter-in-law to this side of the void, I’m gonna teach her how to properly live!”
2Marlena: “Oh wow!  I had no idea you could do this kind of stuff with objects!”

Who could guess just how active Marlena’s corpse is compared to when she was alive.3Peace: “Wait a minute, this isn’t my Granny Angela!  No way in 1000 years would my mother ever have the brains to come the second floor of the house much less play pool.”

Marlena: “Wow this actual living thing is awesome.  I wasted 80+ years of my life I now see.”
4Considering how well my game was running at the time, I felt brave enough to finally let Betel back out of her coffin.

Betel:  “And here I was enjoying the empty silent void in which I did nothing.”

Not like she’ll end up doing nothing anyway.5Peace: “Oh ships, I forgot we already had a maid in the house.  I hope they can get along alright…”

Raul: “OH MY GOD NO, MY WORK INSURANCE DOESN’T COVER INCIDENTS LIKE THIS”

Betel: “You get insurance?  Lucky dick.  All they pay me is in the form of subpar internet connection.”6.5Peace: “But… we weren’t planning to kill you… maybe Wrath but not us…”

Raul: *Jogs quickly away while chanting STAYING ALIVE at the top of his voice*
7And then just like that, the snows began to melt, and winter was over.  I usually never get to see the snow melt, since it poofs away in chunks unceremoniously, but the distant mountains are almost gorgeous, even with my ass graphics and Peace’s hoarding station in its foreground.8And with Spring, comes life.  In the form of stray animals that wonder into the yard.

Wrath: “Yaaay, a new horseshoe target to throw shit at!”

Stray: “Please do not, I just came to beg for a food…”
9Aw, she cute.  And she’s pretty old, I would hate for her to not find a forever home to finally rest in…

Stray: “Oh no.  Please do not adopt me into this hell…”

I think I will adopt her into this hell.
10Although.  ONCE AGAIN.  Instead of looking at what I was doing, instead of adopting the stray into the family, I “adopted” Betel for the second time.

Betel: “Damn.  And I was thinking about doing something like cleaning up this dump.  This has thrown my whole morning off.”

I looked into her commands to see if I could keep making her clean up while she was at it, but I think she only had like three commands or some shit like that – Go there, Talk, and a “Chill Out” command?  So I tested that one out to see what she’d do.
11Apparently Chill Out sends her to the bar.  I shouldn’t have been surprised.

Betel: “Oh rum and coke, how I missed thee.”12Brave: “I was letting my head flowers get some rain, and I fell asleep in the yard.  Totes forgot what I was even doing here.”

Your old age is unimpressive, Brave, but other than that.  In case you can’t tell from the generic side of the street, we are at the wedding reception place.  Which means one thing…13Nascar: “It means that that Bonehilda is a hot piece of ass, is what”

Nascar, where the fuck is your wife, you have a wife.14Peace: “It means that my wedding is about to start!  Which is fantastic, even though it had to start raining as soon as I call for the guests, but either way, I’m excited to renew my vows.”

Nascar: “And you do it without bringing along the sexy sugar mama?!  WAT’N DA HELL’S WRONG WID YOU BOY”15Julian: “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind if I got boned from that if you know what I’m sayinhuehuehuehuehuehue”

Charity: “You have never been right in the head.”

Nascar: “Touch my One True Love™ and I will run over your bald ass with a tank, do you hear me from over here, Julian?!”16His rage overpowering his motherboard mixed with the rain shorted him out, and he finally stopped ranting about Bonehilda for all of two hours.

Nascar: “No, these are actually tears I’m cry because you won’t let me sleep with the bone maid.”

I guess it wouldn’t be the weirdest thing he’s wanted to sleep with.
17Ole’ Rodrigo graced ourself with his party crashing presence.  At first I thought it was Florida Man, which is a shame. He’s so cloney.
18Cynthia: “Our wedding vows are supposed to be an unbreakable chain of love and steel.  Break them one more time though, Peace, and I will break your jaw.”

Peace: “To be honest, I do not fear you, for I love you and will never fail your trust and loyalty again, and also I’m not really worried about you hurting me because your old people bones are as fragile as a wet milk carton.”19Cynthia: “I will take that promise to have and to hold, if you explain to me what Betel is here repairing Nascar in the front of the lot.  I thought we agreed we weren’t hooking them up.”

Peace: “I’m not, but I hate to see Nascar sad, so I’m just having her do this one thing before we reset her out of our family’s roster.”
20Betel: “Trust me though, this screwdriver is the only thing that’s gonna be screwing you today, you tin can.  So when I get you fixed, don’t even think about it.”

Nascar: “A bot can still dream…”21The wedding still went on without a hitch.  There should be no more mid life crisises, so hopefully this duo continues to go down the line ’til death do they part.

Nascar: “If they last as long as I have with my dear wife, then you know it’s a match made in heaven.”

Nascar, at the rate you are going, it will be a miracle if Veronica even lets you in the house anymore.22And of course, end-wedding shot ruined because the groom’s sister fake-dies into a zombie.

Cynthia: “Now there’s someone who’s jaw I know I can break.”

Peace: “While I do not usually condone violence against family, I’m pretty sure we can all say that we approve of it if you go through with it, Cynthia.”
23Back at the house, the stray is finally successfully added to the family.  Following the theme, and adding her as a pet for Peace’s family, her name is Ariel, and hopefully she will leave a good impression on her family.

Ariel: “Nah I’ll just hide under the couch until old age finally claims me any second now.”

Betel: “Great, I guess I’m going out in the trash now, aren’t I.”

Yep. *resets and deletes*24Another addition to the family, a gnome I found in Wrath’s inventory.  Bald Elvis now has a new friend.

BE: “Thank you.  Thank you very much.”25Baal: “And this is the living room, where you will have your own little personal litter box that cats use for their toiletries.”

Ariel: “Isn’t that a little… small for me to squat down into.”

Baal: “Nah, just flip the lid, lean it over and go to town.”

Marlena: *Sobs*26Marlena’s gonna trip someone and break their neck one of these days, so she was finally moved out into the backyard.  I think Wrath planted a watermelon on it.

If it’s anything like its fertilizer, it actually might not do anything at all.27Ah, I’m taking a lot of scenic photos today.  Granted my video card seems to be tanking, this town does still  look decent.  Despite the evil trying to claim the banks of the river, this town gets a lot of nice little rainbows.28Happiness: “Remember me?  I still do these shows when I get attention placed upon myself ! Please.  Make my daughter stop show-stealing so I can make some money.  Please.”

Why are all your daughters so bad this week, Happiness.29In usual fashion, I let Peace take his family out for an outing (as usual as well, one of them didn’t bother to come along because they’re fuddy duddies.  This time being Justice)

Peace: “I just want my little girl to get out and experience life outside of school every now and then you know.”

Serenity: “You know I can’t see anything without my glasses.”
30Happiness: “GASP!  My… my dear son came to see me perform for once!  This makes me the happiest father in the world!”  *proceeds to cry hormonally into the microphone for 6 minutes*31Peace: “So this is how dad’s usually go?  Truth be told, I’m not that impressed.  5/10, very low replay value.”

Honey, this is the largest audience he’s had in a long ass time.32Happiness : “ALL THE SINGLE LADIES~”

Jodi: “I’m a single lady :D”

Don’t you have a mutated orange you need to be watching after, Jodi.33The audience would be a bit broader if Peace’s family actually came in off the street and actually participated in the show.

Cynthia: “Hey I’m spending quality alone time with my daughter.  Teaching her how to be a woman and all that.”

Yes.  Standing in the open in the middle of the night is quality time.

Serenity: “I can’t see anything right now.  Anyone got a contact lens?”34Thank you game.  Thank you for looking out for me and returning my trash back to me.

I like to think the Fallen’s garbage man looked in their garbage can and upon seeing a skeleton in a maid outfit in the bottom of the bin, calmly returned it to the front porch.

Ah.  Well.  *Perma-death’s Betel and starts over*35Peace: “Well.  I thought I had to pee.  I guess not anymore.  Or ever.”

Wrath: “But how’s a baby like a slice of bread?!  PEACE ANSWER MY RIDDLE”36And then he wanted this.  Was it really that traumatizing?

Peace: “I WANT THIS TUB PURGED AND SMELTED DOWN”

I guess it was…37Wrath: “Wow, you can’t fucking wait until I get out of the bathroom before trying to blow the roof off, you dumb shit?”

Peace: “There’s no time when there’s memories to repress, Wrath!”38At least he’s smart and used the shed as a makeshift bomb shelter.

Peace: “Well when there’s a chance the whole house might go up in flames, I can’t take no chances.”

Happiness: “And here I thought I raised my son to be smarter than this.”39Peace: “So much for the vows I took with my beloved wife.  Sigh.  There goes the entire side of the house.  I’m pretty sure I’m the only survivor now.  Time to move to a new town, change my name, marry a ghoul and travel the wasteland countryside together…”

Surprisingly, the tub was the only thing that blew up, so the project was a success.  Tub’s dead though.40Happiness: *Gently fists a coffee cup, as it’s the only action he’s gotten in years*

I think everyone’s getting addicted to coffee.  Horrible alternative to sleep.  Might delete.
41Justice: “As soon as I grow up into a well respected teenager and member of civil society, I too, will enjoy the smooth rich flavor of fresh ground coffee.”

That is, if she survives her caking.  Spoiler alert in advance, it goes bad42Cynthia: “The beautiful greenness of this newly modded birthday cake can’t take away the pain of the sudden lag spike we are experiencing right now.  I can only imagine this is an omen of ill times before us.”

Peace: “It’s alright wife, I’m not going to blow up any more furniture!  The tub was just one instance!!”  *takes cover away from the cake behind the counter, you know, just in case*43Happiness: “HAH, my granddaughter is getting old.  Soon I will be the youngest in the house again, because as we all know, I’ll never get to the point of having a midlife crisis, not ever!  Not in-”

Peace: “Five million years, we get it dad, stop.  I’m trying to watch my little girl’s birthday from the safely of the kitchen counter can you stop with it already?”44And then, CLIFFHANGER!

But not because I want there to be.  Justice started giving me the same shit Serenity gave me when she aged up, but this time I can’t get past the birthday itself.  So she’s stuck in child form for now…

And it doesn’t help that my drivers are officially all screwed up and boned to death.

See, long story short, I tried to update my display driver not that long ago.  But afterwards, it messed up my computer so badly, that I uninstalled it, and rolled back to an old one.  Little did I know, I probably shouldn’t have uninstalled it.  I reinstalled, before I remembered why I deleted it in the first place.  So I uninstalled it again, because not only did it not fix anything, but it made it worse.  AGAIN.  Also computer updates aren’t working anymore.  Nor can I open anything in photo viewer.  NOR CAN I PLAY ANY GAMES.  Literally the only things working are my internet browser, flash player, and trusty dependable photoshop.  PHOTOSHOP IS OFFICALLY GONE NOW AS WELL, EVERYTHING IS TANKING, SEND JESUS

So if anyone knows what I should do at this point, because I’m at a loss, please send some info my way.  For the record, I’m still rolling a windows 7, because as I said before, updates are not happening.

*cough*

LOOK, A BABY NAMED FERBY WAS BORN.  It’s always nice to see my old sims reincarnated.  Dang did I ever miss Ferby.

Advertisements