NO THAT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN
I DIDN’T REALLY PLAN FOR THATThe hospital has a shit care plan so Agony wakes up post-surgery in the rain on a hard park bench.
???: “Yeah, but I woke up on my bench first.”???: “Wake up you insect, and witness my perfection.”
Agony: “Mmmzzzz, wuah… wazzat? Tommy Wiseau is that your voice?”Hysteria: “(You dumb block of rank cheese, no), it’s me, your replacement and the new offical heiress to the Fallen dynasty! The new Agony, and you… you’re now whatever that hobo in the scrubs made.”HHHHHHHHH TOO CLOSE IN
WHAT DID THOSE PEOPLE DO TO YOUAgony: “My… my nose! My lips… what did you tell them to do to my face?!”
Hysteria: “Just a fairly easy transplant from you to myself. The dude doing the surgery then found whatever he had lying around to stitch up your holes. I’m pretty sure your nose used to be an old toe.”Agony: “WHY of all things, steal parts of my face?! The vast majority of our faces were the SAME! I think the only things you really took were my ears, lips, and boobs! What is the point of all that?!”
Hysteria: “I needed perfection! I need to be able to walk into the house without those other clowns realizing that the real Agony is gone and I’m an imposter! There is no room for flaw!”
Agony: “Oh good luck getting past them like that! The doctors clearly couldn’t transfer my fashion sense so what are they gonna say when you walk in with missing textures?”
Hysteria: “You think they’d even notice that? They’re dumb video game characters that would rather stand in one spot for 7 hours then pass out rather than walk up a flight of stairs to their bedroom, you really think they can see a difference between blue and purple? This is nothing.”
Agony: “You… you really are psychotic… to break the fourth wall like that… that’s just horrible.”Agony: “It won’t last! They aren’t THAT stupid! They will see past it all eventually, you can’t get down all my traits and quirks, and look! You can’t even control my face for more than four minutes! You’ve already busted my lower lip!”
Hysteria: “AW, FHUR FHAWKS SAKE! ‘OW DO YOU TALK WIFH DISS AH’LLOON AH’ YOUR AH’CE!!”Hysteria: “‘Ou wait right here, an’ whe’ I geh ‘ack h’rom ge’ing a new collegen s’ot, ‘ou ‘etter ‘e gone!”
Agony: “Bitch try me.”
Hysteria: “Listen, if I so much as see you in my houh’e e’h again I will sh’trangle you in ‘ront of de ‘amily and clan’g you as an e’r crone created by dat stu’id Secksie ro’ot frong down de street.”
Agony: “English bitch can you speak it!”Hysteria: “Now that that has been fixed. Begone from me. I never want to see you around me, my legacy or my property ever again. As I said, I will murder you and make you look like a new busted bone maid if you wander into the same room with me ever again.”
Agony: “That’s so evil! You can’t get away with it, they’ll find out! Justice will SURELY see through it! She’s a cop now, she will punish you! Just how can you do this to your own sister! “Hysteria: “Very easily when I was forced away and had nothing to do with any of you for my entire life. Goodbye Agony. It was shit knowing you.”Agony: “How could she do this to me… she took everything! My life… my family… even my most precious possessions, my boobs!”Agony: “I have never been so disgraced in my life, and so furious and heartbroken and angry and sad… where do I go from here!”Bonus.
Agony: “It was YOU. YOU’RE THE ONE THAT WANDERED INTO THE HOSPITAL AND MUTILATED MY FACE”
Jarrett: “What in the FUCK ARE YOU”So far the rest of the family is oblivous, WHAT A SURPRISE. Happiness was invited to his daughter’s holloween party, which is scary on its own not loading like this.
Charity: “There’s nothing scary, its decorated! The theme is grey. It matches my holloween outfit: Grey.”
Happiness: “I guess I’m just happy you found a house to live in.”Happiness: “My holloween outfit is nothing too adventurous but it kinda matches my best bro, whom I can sense from here.”Jaime: “I like hiding away from the rest of the party and feeling up on my own ass. This is how I spend my time these days.”Jaime: “Don’t tell me you came all the way in here with social intentions just to cancel and stare at me. That’s so lame.”
Happiness: “My actions are severely limited. I just really wanted to at least see you again dude. It’s been a while.”
Jaime: “Are we even friends anymore.”
Ariel: “There is something… wrong with this one. I don’t recognize it. It’s not Agony, and it possesses a great amount of evil within it.”
Hysteria: “If it weren’t just a cat no one even pays attention to I would be concerned. So get lost. There’s nothing wrong with me. It’s just I, Agony. Now move along and go lick your anus or whatever you do around here.”Ariel: “Yeah, Agony. Because that’s exactly how Agony sounds and acts and drinks out of her mug.”
Hysteria: “What do you mean. I am doing nothing wrong. Sip sip. Mmm. Kool-aid or whatever. *lip falls off in the cup* ‘Uckin ‘hit not dis ‘hit again”Agony: “That bitch thinks she can ban me from my own house. I lived here before mom ever decided to crank her unwanted ass out! I’m still on this family roster and I would LOVE to see her try to force me out of this property!”
Baal: “Hi Agony”
Agony: “Not right now you little shit, where’s the bookcase and the wall art?!”Agony: “Actually… where is anything? Where is everyone? Hello, is anyone in here?”
Justice: “Hello, how can I help you today?”Agony: “Oh thank god, Justice! Someone with some sense! I have to explain everything to you! There’s an imposter amongst us, she came from-”
Justice: “I hate to interrupt you, strange person, but we are in the process of packing all our belongings.”
Agony: “Strange person?! Oh please don’t tell me Hysteria was right and you can’t recognize me! Please Justice! You have to listen to me, it’s of upmost importan-“Agony: “What… What the fuck… where did the house go? Where did anything here go??”Justice: “I told you. We are packing our belongings. We plan on moving and broadening our horizons in a new town. You are free to come with us and save yourself from this town’s destruction if you want to.”
Agony: “WHAT IN THE TEN FUCKS”
Bottle from like three gens ago: “Please end my existance.”So in finally leaving this gear grinding town, I packed the family and packed the townies that I wanted to save. In that process though, apparently someone in the Arwing family is a fucking. WEREWOLF. And I can’t pack them up because lycanism is too FUCKING CONFUSING FOR THE GAME ALGEHWIAOGKDJSALPRAY TELL, GAME, WHO HERE LOOKS LIKE A WEREWOLF
Game, in tears: “I… I don’t… I don’t know what they are at all!”
Is it you, Cruelty? Are you the werewolf?
Cruelty: “I’VE BEEN IN THIS HALLWAY FOR YEARS WHEN IS GOD GOING TO END MY SUFFERING”
Arwing: “My diet is working! I’m about ready for my summer beach vacation :)”
I’m proud of you I think.
Cruelty: “Aw, FUCK. It’s walking like a damn zombie now! Please don’t pack me with these losers, let me die in this horrible town!!”
Tyrone: “FEED ME SPLEENS”Cruelty: “YOU ARE SO FUCKING UGLY”
Tyrone: “FEAR ME I’M A REPUBLICAN VOTER”So it turns out Tyrone IS the mystery werewolf, along with being a broken zombie apparently. That only turns into a proper zomwolf right before bed? I don’t even know anymore.
Tyrone: *eyes bleed out right before a good night sleep*Anyway, for some reason I can’t just reset him out of that state in order to pack him up, not even if I restart the whole town, so I’m forced to wait until the morning to save them and put them in the library, so the family has to wait.
Wrath: “I’M DYING OUT HERE! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER TYRONE”
Peace: “While I find Wrath is overreacting for the most part, it is cold out here. Can someone unpack some mittens if I’m to stand out here for the remainder of the night?”Justice ended up taking them to the salon to stay until morning. Listening to them gripe is just sad.
Peace: “Now this is what I call shelter. I really like our temporary new house.”
Serenity: “I still exist!”In the meantime I’ll give the heiresses their legacy tattoos. Family tradition and all.
Justice: “I may not be scared of needles, but I am afraid of the dark! Hold me Agony! I don’t like being alone in here!”
Hysteria: “If you even so much as fucking touch me I will rip your fingernails out one by one and put them in your eyelids.”Justice: “What in all that is good is wrong with you, Agony?! That wasn’t something you would normally say…”
Hysteria: “Oh shit sorry, I meant, um, beep beep. I think the dark is swaggy. Tattoo me and what all meanwhile I’ll jack it to that car photo on the wall because I think vehicles are my friends.”
Justice: “I don’t know… something is off with Agony… I think a brainworm may have gotten into her head or something?”
Hysteria: “Behold. My cool tits. The only thing I love more than cars. They lactate and everything!”Meanwhile, the real Agony is still moping around.
Agony: “Can’t I just get an optical illusion tattooed on my face to give me the appearance that I still have a nose? Even if its just that, please, I hate this raspy whistle it makes whenever I breath in!”
For all their whining and complaining, the Old Folks Club still slept out in the cold rain on benches. I guess if it keeps them quiet.Justice: “I incorporated all my artistic license into this. I know you asked for the devil wings, but I think these will make you look more… friendly. The heart I took special liberty in to express my love for you.”
Hysteria: “That’s it. Give me your fingernails.”Peace: “Well, morning is here, father. And I think that hobgoblin family has gone back to normal and been packed in the boxes. Shall we make our leave and find a new town to make our lives in?”
Happiness: “Yeah! Let’s bounce before its too late.”And with that, we leave our long beloved Hidden Springs, that cradled our legacy from the beginning. As it creaks down to it’s now gloomy and creaky current state, the Fallens bid it farewell as they travel…