Archive | September 2018

Flea Bitten Love

1Justice: “Not sure if this telescope even works.  I can’t see a single thing out there!”

Might have something to do with you not looking through the actual eye piece.  Just saying.2Or it could also be that I put the dumb thing under the fighter jets.  I doubt there are stars under there.3Justice: “Oh dear, the ghosts have come out.  I hope they like our new home.  And don’t get too lost around here exploring it.”

Don’t think we’ll have that problem with Marlena.  She probably won’t leave the yard.4Hysteria: “She’s out there fucking with the ghosts when she needs to get in here and order some chairs on Amazon before this tub leaves a permanent dent in my ass.”

All in due time.  I’m only changing the house bit by bit so I don’t accidentally trigger a game crash.5Justice: “Granny Angela, please.  Don’t put your head in the chemical mix.  I’m trying to make something nice, but it’s not exactly Hawaiian Punch right now in its current state.”

Angela: “Glub glub”6Angela: “Well since I’m not allowed to drink the window cleaner/clothes detergent mix, I’m going to take a nap.  Can’t wait to break in this new luxurious bed.”

I literally just put that down for Justice, can you not.7Baal: “Are you awake?”

Hysteria: “No I’m not, screw off.”

Baal: “I was just thinking.  In the pretty patties episode of Spongebob, Spongebob knew EXACTLY what he was doing when he destroyed his profits in all those extreme ways.  Because he knew Mr. Krabs was watching, and would find out.  He did it on PURPOSE because he knew that was exactly how he was going to exact vengeance on Krabs for insulting him over his new idea.  Think about it.  Spongebob even told them they would all see his vision, and of all things, he knew Krabs hated wasting money.  So what did he do?  Explain in extreme detail all the ways he destroyed and eliminated all his profits.  And when asked about his success, he rolled his eyes to that reporter and said “I don’t know”.  He knew full well what he was doing.  He only wanted his idea noticed, and the money meant nothing to him.  The only thing more important to Spongebob than his idea in that episode was the Krusty Krab itself, which was the only thing he gave in to Krabs for his idea.  He could have donated that money to the Krusty Krab if he wanted to even, but he didn’t.  He destroyed it.  Only to get back at Krabs for hurting his feelings.  Spongbob is fucking hardcore.  He’s fucking OG for pulling that extreme vengeance shit.”8Baal: “Oh, by the way?  You really shouldn’t sleep with that hat on.  Your hair is gonna rot off and you’ll go prematurely bald.”

Hysteria: “How in the FUCK are you even able to talk to me”

Baal: “Oh I meant BARK”9Hysteria: “The hell is this?  I get out of bed to actually listen to the dog’s advice and change my hair and this dirty bitch just swoops on into my bed?  Get out, Justice.”10Hysteria: “And bitch, why are you even dirty in the first place?”

Justice: “Almost blew the kitchen up last night but it’s ok, because its a new day and we are still alive!  Isn’t being alive great!  I’m going to make breakfast, and we will celebrate our lives with our pancakes on the edge of the bathtub together!”

Hysteria: “Don’t track your nasty sooty socks over my clean floor, and don’t come back into my room ever again.”

11Hysteria: “REALLY?  I chase one bitch off and this one swoops in instantly and takes her place?  Why does everyone got to ruin my morning?!”

Jealousy: “Look, hoe.  I’m your grandma.  I can do what I want.  Move me and I will ensure your life is a living hell.”12Speaking of grandparents, Happiness is still on the treadmill at the gym.

Happiness: “The burn never stops!  Especially for us undead types.  The burn never starts for us.  Seriously, I’m having no issues even after running all night.”

Please don’t starve to death.13I wanted to try to get the girls to focus on looking around the town for potential mates (even though we’re set for Hysteria, its still good to look) and since Hysteria wanted to go to the park, we looked around.  All that’s at the park today seems to be family though.

Serenity: “Nothing wrong with that.  I love spending time with family.”

Hysteria: “I hope you drown in this bucket.”14Hysteria: “How in the deepest hell pit am I supposed to grab these things with this stupid fat lip?!  Honestly, how did Agony not starve to death…”

Naturally Serenity won.
15No vendors at this festival either.  No one works at these stupid things.

Hysteria: “And I WILL stand here until I am allowed to spend my festival tickets!  I DEMAND IT.”

Forget it, its literally not happening.
16Hysteria: “Wow, look who popped out from the dumpster she now lives in.  If its not my face donor.”

Agony: “You BITCH, I’m not living in a dumpster!  I’m just looking for my contact lens.”17Hysteria: “I’ll be generous today.  Beat me in a game of pie devouring, and I will grant you your face back if you win.  If you lose however, you must relinquish your most sacred possession…”

Agony: “Hmmmm, a chance to get my nose back at the risk of my complete CD collection of Usher’s greatest hits?  Sounds worth it to me!”

Hysteria: “I meant your soul, but to be honest that also sounds just as good.”
18Oh, that’s kinda scary to watch.19Hysteria: “I KNEW I would win against no lips!  At least I have an advantage over someone in this world!”

Agony: *Has a blueberry stuck in her last tiny nostril hole and can’t breathe right now*20I guess in the end, at least one of them had a great night.  It isn’t Agony.  She lost all her good CDs 😦

Agony: “Forget the discs, I’m dying, call the hospital…”

21Meanwhile I was scrolling around the town at townies that were keeping clear away from the festival tonight.  So far the only other good I can see is this dude in the cowboy hat and, eh.

Hat: “I uh, am nice to puppies.”

I don’t even remember his name lol22You still over here, Happiness?  Cool.

44: “Whoever told me it was a good idea to exercise without pants is the Devil.  Must not… let… go… don’t want to… lose my member…”23Dee Dee: “Urhm…”

Hysteria: “JUSTICE!  YOUR BITCH IS HERE! COME GET HER BEFORE SHE ENDS UP LIKE THE PAPER BOY!”24Dee Dee: “Nah, I’ll just call her from the safety of my house, bye.”

Hysteria: “Good, don’t come back.”

Justice’s first date night went splendidly.
25Now that I acquainted myself with the town, time to ruin it.  I went on an adding spree and brought in the rescued sims from Hidden Springs.

Veronica: “I was doing well just being lost in whatever sewer I was trapped in in the last town, thank you very much.”

Nascar: “Why won’t I die already”26Jamie also came along, along with his 5 dogs.  His vampirism trait, however, missed its plane to Moonlight and will be late getting here.

Jamie: “You packed all the mutts to keep me company but left behind all my children and beloved ones?!”

Yes, those nasty boring 2 gens worth of sims are gone forever.  Rejoice and start over, Jamie.

Jamie: *Has sad*27And then there’s MEEEEE

Moving along now.
28Tyrone loves his new trailer so much he’s melded into it.

Toaster: “I don’t know these people.  I asked to be left behind to die and I get ignored.  My life is a never ending disaster.”29Toaster walked into his new home and evolved in to Mega Toaster.

Toaster: “Oh, fuck all.”

Tyrone: “Our fiberglass insulation is in my nose but at least it looks like its in good condition.”30Rodrigo!  So glad you could survive!  Welcome to your new home!  Do you like your new family?

Rodrigo: “…” *Instantly moves out*

Cruelty: “The smartest out of all of us.”31Back at the house, Justice has returned from her first day at work in the new town!

Justice: “Being a snitch and working as an undercover hooker has it’s downsides.  Like hooker fleas!  They are more itchy than regular fleas!  But everything is good!  I like all my co-workers!  Except Nasty Natalie.  She gave me fleas.”32Hysteria, determined to not catch fleas from her gross cousin, took a bath in her clothes apparently.

Hysteria: “Buy me a dryer now.”

Sigh.  Dryer and washing machine are now in the garage.  Expect nasty clothing piles for a while.33Because of my settings I realized I can watch the other family members from across the street without the houses being in the way.

Peace: *is dead*

Happiness: *is going for a cross country marathon on that treadmill still*34This is the first time in a LONG time I’ve seen a ghost actually possess something!  Great to see them be active again, even though this is going to wake up and piss off Hysteria for the second night in a row.35Hysteria: “Eh, its ok.  It’s actually kind of funny, seeing as that is Liam’s actual skull after all.”

Liam: *Sobs in his own head*36Justice: “Hey, I have a question for you, if you’re awake.”

Hysteria: “zzmmmmf, I’m NOT.”

Justice: “If your favorite color says that it is hot pink, how come your room is purple?”
37Justice: “Oh, you fixed it.  Hmm.  It’s actually a little more unsettling now in this color.”

Hysteria: “Everybody is a critic.”38Justice: “Oh how I adore Agony so much.  My dearest cousin, and best friend!”

Is that why you shattered your breakfast plate on her carpet and won’t clean it up?

Justice: “Shh, shh, accidents happen, she won’t have to find out.”39Morning socializing on the phones with their potential significant others.

Justice: “Fun.”

Hysteria: “What do you MEAN you’re in social studies class?!  You’re lame. Skip class or screw off for all I care.”40Hysteria: “Since the little gremlin is still in baby school, I want to go see the fortune teller.  I’m gonna knock her out and she’ll never even see it coming.”

She got a fortune about not trusting dead people or something. 41I also had her tattoos fixed because they were peeving me to no end.42Hysteria: “To thank them for fixing the disasters that Justice put on my skin, they can have this pie I found in the parking lot.  It’s old, but I don’t really care.”

*Old tattoo still happening because the tattoo artist is a FRAUD, DAMMIT TRY AGAIN*43Justice: “Is he still here?  Hasn’t it been like 3 or 4 days?  Oh dear.”44Justice: “Grandfather, I’m here to rescue you.”

Happiness: “OH THANK GOODNESS!  I’m about to starve to death!  Could you imagine, they finding my starved, but very built, corpse rolled up in the treadmill?  Horrific, I’d say.”45Justice: “By the way, grandfather, I got fleas.  I don’t recommend coming within ten feet of me, like you are now.”

Happiness: “On the other hand, running away right now might not be a bad investment.”46Justice: “Now that my grandfather has been rescued, I can now continue with my plans tonight with my date!  I sure can’t wait to have a good night in this rain and probably ruin what is probably my future wedding dress that was made in advance for me :)”

Guy who isn’t even here on the lot: “What a lovely thought bubble.  I live here in it now.”47Dee Dee: “Shall I escort you inside, Miss Fallen?”

Justice: “I’m so happy you could make it!  And you look lovely in that dress.”

Dee Dee: “The same could be said for you, my dear.”48And so, their date so easily became one out of a fairy tale.49Dee Dee: *thinks of she keeps dipping Justice away from her, she won’t get as many fleas as possible*

Justice: *Is actually just sweating that hard*50MEANWHILE, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BRIDGE AT A BAR

Hetal: “I’m not actually old enough to drink on this date but really my age doesn’t stop me from doing so.”

Hysteria: “Hm.”51Hysteria: “I got wants I’d rather do, so take a friendship potion and fuck off until you’re 18!”

Hetal: “You BITCH, you were supposed to buy me alcohol!”52But their date outing went SO WELL due to their newfound friendship and mutual understanding, the outing ended and Hetal went home to do homework.  Or not.  She doesn’t seem like the homework type.53Hysteria: “Hey, skank, where’s the house key?!  My date is over and I’m not pooping in a public restroom!”

Dee Dee: “AGH, she scared me!  I’m sorry about your foot!”

Justice: “You didn’t step on my foot, a giant flea got me good in the leg!  I had to scratch it immediately!”54Then between the bubonic plague from the fleas or the pneumonia from the rain or just Hysteria’s presence in general, poor Justice got sick on her date.

Justice: “That’s just gravy.”55Justice: “I’m so sorry… I didn’t expect to come under the weather as sudden as I did… I got to call the date short, Dee Dee…”

Dee Dee: “It’s ok, dear.  This has been a wonderful night.  And we can have another night like it some other time.  Just rest and get better ok?”

Hysteria: “The fuck is this music.  No wonder you’re so queasy all of a sudden, this is garbage.  I’m gonna play a real song for this shitty club to get down to.”56Hysteria: *Twangs out an acoustic version of Usher’s Yeah song*

Justice: “Whoa she just poofed.  I don’t think I’ll get used to the witchy side of these people in this town.”

Spoiler alert, Dee Dee is also a witch, like Hetal (spoiler alert, Hetal is definitely witch, I don’t exactly say these things, but I think it was just obvious with her get up)

Anyway, here we end the chapter until the next chapter.