Archive | March 2019

Spring Kisses

1Justice: “I did it!  Everyone come quick!  I’m successful!  I love making potions!  I want to make more!! MORE I SAY!!”2Justice: I DEMAND MORRRREEEE”

Dee Dee: “I’m off to tell Hope that her crazy mother is lost to the sauce.  Bye.”

Last chapter Wicked and Grace were born.  Hope keeps getting stuck on the staircase.  That’s more or less it.3Oh, and Hetal doesn’t like her child I think.

Hetal: “Little bastard won’t stop crying.  My spawn do not cry.  Crying is for babies.”

He IS a baby.4Hetal: “Suffer, and know the world is full of hate and evil!”

Wicked: “I’M HUNGY ;-;”
5Dee Dee: “I’m sick and tired of your bull, Hetal.  If you don’t take care of this kid I’m calling the law.”6Justice: “I am the law, what’s going on here?”

Hetal: “I am disgusted with your constant need to baby the child.  He needs to learn to grow up hard and uncaring.”

Dee Dee: “He’s 9 hours old!”
7Justice: “Always know that I will love you forever and unlike Hetal and Wicked I will never leave you to suffer.”

Good.  Don’t smash her crib while doing so, could you.8Peace: “Sounds like my daughter is having a hard time up there with all those crying babies.  Maybe I should stop watching the Young and the Restless for all of 3 seconds and go help her.”

You’ve raised enough children in your life, Peace.  Please stay downstairs and don’t get in the way with your ghostiness.
9Hetal: “This child I like.  This child I will care for and fatten for future endevour-I mean endeavors. ”

Meanwhile Wicked sobs himself to sleep.10Anyway.  On to spare making.  Hopefully the next one Hetal will actually give a shit about.11Fortuneteller: “Please do NOT do that with my crystal ball!!”12Hetal: “Ah yes, such a beautiful crisp and cool morning for public shagging and life ruining.”

At least put your clothes back on.13I built the last broomstick riding lot thing because I didn’t think the town actually had a lot specifically for that (despite it coming with the town and EP, of course) so you know, go figure I figure out that there was one pre-built just two blocks away from the house.

Hysteria: “How?  It’s LITERALLY where I met Hetal, you dumb blind hoe.”

Oops.14Alex: “Please, I’m so scared of being murdered, I have bills to pay and a mouth to feed!  It’s my own mouth, but you wouldn’t kill me and/or let me starve, would you?”

Honestly the only reason she’s not fired or killed is because Hysteria wants to be friends with her.  And sometimes she does her job.  Not often, but sometimes.14I’m just going to stop checking up on these two.

Happiness: “How could she decide that she doesn’t want to kiss me?  Look at me!  I’m a young hot stud that just so happens to be the same age as her old deceased mother but still!  I’m so disappointed.”

Wrath: “Get used to it.”15Baal: “Pennie died?  Pennie was old?!”

Honestly I didn’t even know she was an elder, the way she carried on she seemed so young.  But RIP Pennie.  You were cute in the 5 minutes we saw you around.16Baal: “I loved her like my own daughter.  I cannot live anymore knowing that I outlived my own child.  Fine, Death come pick me up.  I can’t do this any longer.”17Death: “Ok!”

Justice: “WHHHYYYY”

And just like that, 10 seconds after Pennie passed away, Baal finally also decided to call it quits.  18Baal: “WHOA!  Watch the boney fingers, death boy.  Those are fucking cold!”

Death: “Sorry.  I was eating ice cream before I came here.  They don’t give you utensils in the afterlife so everything’s got to be treated like finger food.  Can you believe that shit?  Just try eating soup, it’s not possible, and I love soup!”
19Baal: “AAAAHH”

Justice: “SOB”

Hetal: “Why this camera angle”20RIP Baal.  You survived death once but couldn’t escape Death forever.  You will be joining other beloved pets from the past, and many legacy sims that I’m sure will enjoy your future random thoughts.21Hysteria: “NO NOT THE DOG, I JUST WASTED MONEY ON FEEDING HIM”22Hysteria: “Ok, moving on.”

I may let Justice grieve because she and Baal loved each other but Hysteria honestly probably interacted with Baal only a handful of times to bathe him I think.
23Hetal: “Are any parts of a baby poisonous?”

Dee Dee: “If you don’t FUNK off with the idea that you’re going to eat my children I will ensure your life is met with hellfire and brimstone.”

Hetal: “Sounds like a good time to me actually.”24At least they can agree on one thing.

Hetal and Dee Dee: “SOB THE DOG WE DIDN’T REALLY INTERACT WITH” *Clonks heads together*25Justice had a birthday on the sidewalk were no one could see her.

Justice: “I’m still a beautiful and YOUNG bride, I’ll hold on to my youth FOREVER” *Mid life crisis*26Justice: “And Agony was right!  Broom riding is so much fun!  I love spending all night honing my skills to make $3 in tips for this!”

Curse this weird invisible broomstick bullcrap.27Justice: *Cannonballs through the air with the greatest of ease*

At least she’s getting a break from the potion table.28Hysteria: “Speaking of potion tables, I’m still 1000% better than her at it.”

AAYY, and you’ll be making a dozen of those just in case.29Justice: “And then I said, ‘No you silly billy, hee hee!  You’re going to jail for the dismemberment and manslaughter, not the bad parking!’  And then I tasered him and arrested him.”

Ramiel: “Amazing.  Doesn’t explain how he broke out of prison 2 hours later, but nice to know that was how he got there in the first place.”30The spring festival is in town, and the girls abandoned the wives at the house to take care of the babies (or in Hetal’s case, no).31Wilma: “Want a kiss, hun?  It’s affair-free and only costs enough to keep me from getting medical insurance through the company!”

Justice: “Sounds like a deal!”32Justice: “What happens in Sim Vegas stays in Sim Vegas.”

Wilma: “Smoochies~”33Wilma: “Congratulations!  You win the prize for Best Lips I’ve ever Kissed!”

Justice: “What an honor!”34Hysteria: “You think that’s good, wait til you get a load of me!  I promise my lipgloss is only as toxic as Poison Ivy wishes she was.”

Wilma: “Urhm…”35Hysteria: “Then again, it’s best if I just got a cheek kiss.  Any hard pressure on these lips is usually enough to bust them and I’m not against punching you in the face for popping these suckers open again.”

Wilma: “I’m quitting my job after this day.”36Hysteria: “Honestly I just want to see just exactly how compatible we are with each other.  We’re clearly cousins so hopefully the machine will point that out and we can stop thinking each other is hot whenever we’re in the room together.”

Justice: “That and the only love I have in my life is for my darling caring wife, Dee Dee.  She’s so hot that I could just woohoo with her the second I get home, like always!”

Hysteria: “Just grab the golden metal penis and lets get this over with.”

Justice: “What’s a penis?”37Hysteria: “This machine is clearly broken and will be taken to with a sledgehammer in a little bit.”

Justice: “Clearly.  I will now proceed to pretend this moment never happened and will go egg hunting.”
38Justice: *Egg hunts*

I’m more intrigued by the play set in the background.39Not sure I’ve seen it in the shop mode before!  (If it’s there I really am blind.)

Wrath would have LOVED this as a child.

Wrath: “WHAT KIND OF BEE MAKES MILK INSTEAD OF HONEY??? BOOBIES!!”40Out of anything I wish they fixed in this dumb fixture that never gets anyone working at them.  The proprietors basically live at the park and the kissing booth is always full but the ticket booths never have anyone running them.

My girls want to spend tickets, and it can never happen because some assholes just don’t want to come to work.41Justice: “I come back and you’re about to pass out!  Can’t have that!  We have a bed you know!”

Dee Dee: “How about you stay home next time and take care of three babies while I go out and kiss on girls in the park!”

Justice: “Hey, it was for charity and her health insurance!  Which she will need for kissing Agony anyway.”

Which Dee Dee is now going to need because she’s going to PASS OUT ANYWAY42Justice: “Big dang it :(”

Sigh.
43Hysteria: “Hey baby?  You gonna take care of this baby you got coming up or you just going to keep being bad at mothering until I get tired of you mistreating my spawn and kick you out?”

Hetal: “Wait, how did you even know I was pregnant?”

Hysteria: “Why else would you go around wearing a coat you got from the clearance section at Walmart?”

Justice: “Everyone!!  I got good news!”44Justice: “I’m getting better at my potion making!!  It’s not the potion I WANT to make, but I’m getting there!”

That really is some good news.

Justice: “Now I’m going to try again and hopefully the next one will be the one I want!”45Justice: “GAAAHJIALFJIDK;LAF”

This isn’t what Jesus died for, Justice.46Justice: “I may struggle with potions, but I’m kickbutt at cooking.  Call the family.  I’m making coleslaw.”

At least put on an apron first.47Wicked: “ITS MY BARFDAY”

Dee Dee: “You’re a baby, every day is barf day for you.”

A repeat of Hope, I forgot his birthday as well.48Wicked: *El Hetal CLONE*

I’m fucking serious, I’m seriously considering from now on any and all clones will be fixed in CAS by me because over half of Evalin’s legacy has consisted of clones at this point.  It’s not making this any fun and it’s wasting my time and house space.

Wicked: “Yeah but my random white eyebrows are cool right?  They’re caused by all the stress my mother gave me when I was a baby.”
49Dee Dee: “I just remembered!  It’s my birthday as well!  Happy birthday to me as well?”

Wicked: “DON’T TAKE MY SPOTLIGHT AWAY FROM ME, YOU WITCH!  I WAS ENJOYING MY ATTENTION FOR ONCE”50Hysteria: *Steals the spotlight away from them once more*  “Oh, it’s my birthday too?  The fuck?”

Justice: “Enjoy old age with me, Agony!  Mid life crisises are fun!”

Hysteria: “No my life is great.” *Opts to not have a MLC for once thank god*51Justice: “Every time I come close to death I feel the need to tell my children just how much I love them and care of them, just in case one day I cannot.”

Dee Dee: “That’s a bonus for me, because for once I don’t have to cater to her needs 24/7!”

I’d say that’s kind of mean, but at this point Dee Dee is the sole baby carer.52Hope: “I NEED SLEEPIES!!”

Dee Dee: “YOU ALWAYS NEED SOMETHING, STOP BOO HOOING FOR ONCE”

Justice: “I love you because you’re so cute and quiet and not upset all the time, Grace :)”53Hetal: “I’d rather not be here.  I can’t stand the sight of you, you little hell bringer.”

Wicked: “The feeling is mutual, you old bat.”54And we end this chapter with Tyrone getting it in with his wife and now, a future gen 3 mutant baby is in the works over there!

Something Wicked This Way Comes

I apologize in advance if the darker images are too dark this chapter.  I’ve been too down this week to put up with spending 20 minutes opening Photoshop to spend 2.6 seconds bleaching dark pics.1Justice and Dee Dee spend 90% this week doing this.  Idyllic. 2Hope: “I REQUIRE NEEDS”

Not right now, your mamas are dreaming about chicken and dying.3Hope’s great-grandfather, who has been staying with his granddaughter while coping with the death of his son, has been camping out in the garage on a temp vampire bed that has never been used but has been owned since Edgardo thought he was murdering Happiness.

This is how all famous pop stars sleep actually.4Back at his house, its FUCKING NASTY STILL5WRATH FUCKING DO SOMETHING IN YOUR KITCHEN

Wrath: “What did the tampon say to the other tampon?  Nothing, because they are both stuck up bitches.”6Justice: “I love you~ 🙂 Time to feed you goo~ :)”

Hetal: *Sobs because she can’t have snackies*

Dee Dee: “Oh shut up already and come with me to the dollar store to return this horrid maternity shirt before it snaps in half and falls off me.”7Hetal: “Well if I can’t have the baby, I guess I have no choice but to get the next best thing.  Waffles.  Because at this point, I really do have NO choice.”

If you starve and die I will be severely upset and disappointed and will move your grave into a trashcan.8Hetal: “Wait a minute.  I don’t know how to cook!  I’m DOOMED!”

Justice: “What the fuselage”

Dee Dee: “Just eat my wife’s cooking for once!  JEEZ.  She isn’t going to kill you, probably.”9Matter of fact, she’s working on trying to not kill herself!

Justice: “And I got a good feeling about this this time!”

Yeah I’m sure you do.10Hysteria: “I can’t stand reading the newspaper and seeing my ugly sister with her man and her almost normal looking baby and so I’m going back in time to kill mother before she even conceives Agony!”

You… do know Agony is your older sister right?11Hysteria: “Oh wow.  Jada caught me trying to sneak into the house and suplexed me out a window.  While I’m embarrassed about how weak I am compared to a woman in a hot dog costume I must admire her effort to protect her family.”12Hysteria: “Mom, I came to spend time with you and let you know you married a MILF.  Ok wait, not a MILF.  But Jada was a kickass woman.”

Wrath: “Can you please share that umbrella with me??  The rain is so cold and I’m soaked.”

Hysteria: “This is your own fault for standing in the yard the whole day for no reason.  So go away.  I need this whole umbrella for myself.”13I realized that the fish that I tried to put in the fish tank on day one is still lying dead under the fish tank.

Hysteria: “No time to stop!  This house is so NASTY!  I MUST CLEAN!!”14Happiness: “Who’s ready for Disneyland?”

Hope: “I’M UP LETS GO”

I wasn’t paying attention and didn’t realize it’s birthday time.15Cute, and I don’t believe she’s a clone.  So life’s good so far.16Baal: “There is no way the children that got the toys from the Island of Misfit Toys were happy that Christmas and Santa was wrong to give them out.  Think about it.  There’s a reason those toys were separated from the rest.  You wouldn’t sell a damaged or incorrect product in a store so why is Santa just going to agree to hand-out half built toys to all the children for Christmas?  Do you think those children were happy to wake up on Christmas morning and find out all Santa left for them was some Dollar General squirt gun filled with old jelly?  What child is going to be happy with that?”

Hope: “Can’t hear you, too busy thinking up a name for a doll I’m probably going to have taken away from me in 3 seconds, lalalala”17Baal: “Just these thoughts… they just keep me up at night…”

Hope: “I think not having functional eyelids will also keep you up at night too.”18Oh yeah this is perfectly safe.

Hope: “No idea what you’re talking about! I’m following my mama!  And this bumpy slide looks like a lot of fun!”19Justice: “Ignore the fact that I’m roasted again, I may have fumbled a vial of flammable toxins, but my daughter playing conspicuously on the edge of the stairwell is the greater danger here!”

Hope: “You can’t catch me when I’m in Full Turtle Mode!”20Justice: “Hm.  I guess you’re right.  I just over worried.  See you later, Hope!”

Hope: “Wait, no I changed my mind, I want like some mashed carrot or something.”

What.21Turns out Hope was bugging out on the stair well and Justice would constantly climb up the stairs and then walk back down them and cancel any attempt to pick Hope up, so I had reset.

Hope: “Haha, falling down the stairs was so much fun and I didn’t break but two toes!”

Dee Dee: “Yeah, you keep playing on those stairs and see if you don’t end up like me, broken in more places than just toes.”22Hysteria spent most of the night in an engaging water balloon fight with her mother out in the rain.

*Stares at each other without throwing a balloon for 25 minutes*

Wrath: “What do you call a masturbating cow?  Beef stroganoff.”

Hysteria: “…”

*Stares at each other without throwing a balloon for 20 more minutes*
23Hetal: “Now what, uncaring, unloving parent would leave their little morsel of a child down here, unguarded and unprotected?”

Hope: “Suddenly I’m no longer having any fun, guys.”

Hetal: “Hey at least someone here is able to pick you up, you little shit.”24Alex is finally murdered by Hysteria with her ultra-firm My Pillow.

Hysteria: “Good fucking riddance.  That’s what you get for never folding any of my laundry with the seams running parallel!”25.5Around this time I finally got to moving Peace’s grave to the rest of the graves, however, when I went to place him in the yard, his headstone just POOFED

and I couldn’t find it

And I wanted my ghostly Peace, but ended up having to redo almost two hours of gameplay because FUCK

Peace: “I was finally able to poof over to be with my alien child, why deny me that!?”25Justice: “I hope she doesn’t mind having no post-birthday makeover because the CAS is choking the game up right now and I’m not fighting it.”

Hope: “Glab blaug bla bla goog goo” *Suddenly can’t talk again lol needs reskilling YAY*

Hysteria: “Who the FUCK left the SCREEN DOORS OPEN and let all those FUCKING HOUSE FLIES in my CLEAN KITCHEN, you will FUCKING DIE”26On a side note, Happiness is no longer sad about his son’s passing now.  You can go back across the street.

Happiness: “I get to see my hot Wrath again!!  I mean, cousin.”

I’m begging you, no.
27Justice: “Um no.  Move.”

Edgardo: “Anyone realize lately that us ghosts are having some serious hair issues and our faces just melt into the back of our hairdos?  My face used to not do this?  What gives?”

Hope: “My hair better not melt into my head if it knows what’s good for it.”28Evalin: “He just uses the cheap shitty shampoo.  That mess would clear up if he’d wash his greasy head with some Pantene for once.”

Dee Dee: “I think it’s best for myself if I don’t ask what the biscuits you are talking about.”29Amazing Hetal.  You managed to find an outfit that is oddly less sexual than the last teddy you were wearing.

Hetal: “Don’t be fucking stupid.  I had to cover up because grease splatter burns are no joke.”30Hetal: “Dammit baby!  Can’t any of you children let me actually EAT for once?!”

She had plenty of time to change out of her playboy outfit and clean the stove but not enough time for a snack.  Because you know, logic.31Hetal: “Bitch you knew full well I was cooking fried rice for dinner and you brought home a pizza?  I’m cursing your livestock.”

Justice: “Look I just didn’t want to risk getting poisoned tonight and all.  I got a promotion coming up and don’t want to miss that.”32Justice: “Wait, SHISH KABOBS HETAL!!  YOU’RE IN LABOR!!”

Hetal: “Oh is that what it was?!  I just thought that was gas.  I guess that explains the water on the floor and sudden urge to curse out the one that did this to me!”

Also great job, Justice, you really had to go and ruin the pizza.33Justice: “Oh darn it… I’m such a klutz.  Oh… maybe the family doesn’t mind a bit of foot smell?  I feel like Agony might have a feet fetish anyway.”

Can you not be nasty?
34Justice: “Oh yay, speaking of!  It’s my darling cousin Agony!!  Hey Agony, you like feet?”

Hysteria: “THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, MY WIFE IS HAVING A BABY AND YOU’RE OVER THERE CURB STOMPING A PIZZA, ARE YOU ON METH”35Both Hysteria and Hetal nyoomed to the hospital and borught home their first baby!  This is baby Wicked, named as he is of witchy lineage on the evil side.  His favorites include classical music, french toast, and the color pink.

His traits however, were rolled randomly and at the time I played this I didn’t really notice how odd they were until I noticed they were bugged on the HUD.55509653_315351662511465_1628230416970285056_nHe’s going to make an excellent Wii Sports player.36At the time I was too lazy to build him a nursery unlike Hope, so I just plopped the crib in his mothers’ room and went to bed myself.

Hysteria: “Like shit he’s going to be crying in here all the time.  He will sleep in Hope’s room.  Hope can sleep on the staircase.”37Dee Dee: “Uh oh!  Someone call 911, we have an emergency!”38Justice: “I’M 911 WHAT’S THE EMERGENCY MA’AM”

Dee Dee: “I’M HAVING YOUR BABY, THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENING HURGH”

Justice: “AT LEAST PULL YOUR PANTS UP FIRST, DEE DEE!! CRACK KILLS!”39Justice: “I love her, and I love her forever!”

Dee Dee: “This whole time I could have worn this dress rather than that broken mesh of CC?  This is poor management.”

Blame the CAS bugs.

This is baby Grace, following the naming style of her sister with a realistic name.  She is spare and won’t get a chance at heirship unless she gets a Good trait, but you never know.  Right now she’s just an easily impressed heavy sleeper.  Her favorites are Epic music, vegetarian chili, and the color spiceberry. 40For her I DID build a nursery next to her sisters room, and it deeply gives me Brave throwbacks, though I like this one better.41Then I felt bad for Wicked not getting anything and built him a nursery after all.

Though this looks more like a sacrificial altar than anything else.

Hetal: “Are you kidding?  I LOVE it!  Because that’s what it’s probably going to be!”42Baal: “Look, all I’m saying is if I spent the whole year being a well behaved child and all I wanted for Christmas was a train set and Christmas morning came around and I went to open my present from Santa and he brought me a choo-choo train with square ass wheels on its caboose, defeating the purpose of making the train move correctly at all, I’d be a devastated little kid and would probably loose all faith in Santa, from that alone.”

Justice: “Please shut up about your theories, I don’t want to get so distracted I accidentally dump this on you on purpose.”

Baal: “Sigh, fine, I’ll go elsewhere.”43Baal: “-So yeah, I know the movie was about accepting someone for their differences and embrace them as strengths, but this is Christmas we are talking about.  This is presents that you’ve been asking for all year and you get the boot leg knock offs because a deer with a red nose asked Santa to distribute them instead of his usual stock that was built in the workshop?!  And Santa doesn’t even think on it it, he was just like “yeah I’ll throw them down some chimneys to some unlucky little shithead kid, I don’t care”, just, if you wanted an iPhone for Christmas and Santa gave you a Blackberry, you’d be miffed, so why do you think some kid is going to want a Jack-in-the-box and settle for a Charlie?”

Dee Dee: “He’s got me cornered, please make him go away.”44Hysteria: “I love killing!!  Killing GERMS that is!!  La dee da!! Oh magic eraser, you’re my bestie in the whole world.”

We need more butterflies.
45Hysteria: “BEHOLD!  It is the heart of my worst nemesis.”

Alex: “Hoe, that is an onion.”

Don’t push her.46Hysteria: “And like that!  A flame of the strongest degree!  Enough to melt the mouth off of any who dare tell me my cooking is bad!”

Alex: “If you think I’m going to clean up your mess on that stove, you really got another thing coming.”

Hysteria: “Bitch if I didn’t actually want to be your friend for some reason this go around, I would have slapped your face down on this hot plate and turned you into a roast. You should consider yourself lucky.”47Oh Hysteria.  It was a ploy, to get you distracted so she could abandon those dirty clothes there and run off with her paycheck.  And you let her get away with it.

Hysteria: “Hold up, let me hone my knife skills to use on her later.”48Hetal: “Mmm, she look tastyyyy”

Dee Dee: “I asked my wife to get a lock for this nursery door and what does she do?  She just copy/pasted the last nursery door to this one to save a dollar.  I’m investing in a laser security system for in here.”49Hetal: “However, that one right there?  Disgusting!  Unwanted!  It poops!  That is no child of mine!  Trade it in for one that will properly carry on the family name, or least fit better in the slow cooker!”

Jealousy: “Only if he’s a clone.  Otherwise, fuck off Hetal and let the boy sleep.”

Will Wicked be a clone?  Will his mother’s find his nursery and get him out of Justice’s and Dee Dee’s way?50Baal: “Look I know this is hard to accept but Santa doesn’t care about the quality of his toys.  He wasn’t happy with the elves or their songs or the deers and their games, he just wants to get his job done and go back to doing what he does the rest of the year when he’s not working: Fortnite griefing on PC.”

Hope: “I JUST WANT SOME MASHED CARROTS PEOPLE, WAAH”

The Green Dragon of Hope

Last time we welcomed baby Hope into the family, and she’s insta-heiress unless a future spare has what it takes to be Good before Hope is an adult.  Hetal and Hysteria had a wedding at the bar downtown, and Baal died during the family’s gift giving party, but the Gods of Thunder and Lightning said NO and blew out a transformer or something near my house and Baal got a second chance.  At the second gift giving party he didn’t die, and he’s stuck around since then.1Justice: *Checks Pulse* “Yeah, he’s still breathing.”

When I’m not doing anything specific with the girls, I keep an eye on Baal.  I guess his close death encounter has made me extra attentive to him.2Hetal: “The oath must be fulfilled, as you owe me your first born child.”

Dee Dee: “Piss off, Hetal, I owe you nothing and will burn you alive if I catch you so much as looking at my child wrong.”
3Hetal: “Whoa that was mean.  I thought you good bitches aren’t supposed to be all violent and stuff.”

Dee Dee: “Maybe my wife can’t but when it comes to my baby I don’t care.  You want a baby so damn badly, why don’t you go make one?  You got a partner now.”

Hetal: *Sob* “You know what, I think I will.”4And so Hysteria and Hetal hokey pokeyed and turned it all around in the igloo again.5Agony across town cannot make her mind up with what she wants.

Agony: “Oof, hot UILF make me wanna slap my baby daddy”

Denied, bye.6Hysteria: “Knocking out potions left and right!  Justice will never catch up to me now!”

Great.  One more want down towards my ultimate goal of getting rid of that fucker.

Hysteria: “…I want to make another one.”

Fuck off.7Justice: “I’d love to have a turn on the potions station, but I am afraid if I put Baal down or have him leave my site for a second, the grim reaper will swoop in and I’ll never see my boy again.”

Baal: “That’s sweet of you and all, but your carpool is here for work, you know.”8Justice: “NEVER!  I will never let you go!  They will have to pry you off my cold dead body, for I have superglued you to my side, forever and ever.”

Baal: “Ok, now you’re getting a bit obsessed with keeping me alive…”

Justice: “YOU CANNOT LEAF ME I mean leave”9Hetal: “I demand the blood of the first born…”

Justice: “And I demand a BMW but we all can’t have what we want now can we”10Hetal: “Please, I want a snack”

Justice: “This witch for real”11Hetal: “Screw what my wife said, I’m sealing the ring in this wall painting for safe keeping forever and ever.”

Dee Dee: “Should I summon a yeti to steal Hetal away so she’d leave my nursery alone?  Awfully considering it…”
12Justice: “Our child will be safe long enough for us to make a spare.  You know, just in case something DOES happen to our little Hope.”

Dee Dee: “Don’t worry about that, I cursed the crib for a while to turn anyone who goes near it into a gnat.  She will definitely be safe.”13Hysteria: “Just going to bang on this broken sink for a while so I can’t hear my nasty cousin in there hitting it with her wife.”

Smart thinking.14Hysteria: *Grumble* “All that stupid military training and what do I get out of it?  The need to be tidy and neat all the damn time.  I want to build a rocket to blow up the capital, but what do I have to do first?  Mop up piss in my own bathroom!  This sucks.”15You got more to mop up in a minute, Hysteria.

Edgardo: “I DIDN’T DO IT, THE SINK IS NOT MY FAULT”

Yeah, I’m sure you think so.16Justice: “DANG IT!  Dee Dee!  The witch got our baby!”

Hetal: “Your puny curses do not work on me.  None the less.  You’re lucky, peon.  The baby pooped and I’m not eating a stinky diaper.”

Would be nice if you actually changed it then.17Across town, Arwing got married to one of my best friend’s in IRL sims.

Honestly, I’m not sure who got the worst end of the deal here.18Tyrone found love too, in the form of a sim that was married previously to another friend’s sim who apparently left him the day after their wedding to be with Tyrone.

Got to have something her husband did not to make her change her mind THAT fast.19Justice: “Hi I’m here to…. congradulate you……. please don’t eat me….”

Arwing: “I don’t eat, I FUSE”20Justice: “Please Mrs. Arwing, let me go!  I got a family to take care of!!”

Arwing: “The air is tasty today”21Toaster: “Why the fuck are you running THIS way?!  Get out while you can.  The other way is the exit.”

Justice: “OH”

Tyrone: “I WANT A MCGRIDDLE”  22Oh god, who’s child did they kidnap this time.

Arwing: “Color it with some paint, people will think it’s ours and we’ll have enough people to start a traveling circus.”

Tyrone: “I name him Beef Burrito.”23Back at the house.

Hetal: “I’m not allowed to eat the baby, I don’t know what to do!  I’m starving here!”

Hysteria: “Order a pizza and stop bitching already.  You’re not the one missing strips of skin now are you…”24Most wedding gifts that were in the mailbox were boring paintings and such.  Malcolm however felt the need to send a whole dragon egg.

Malcolm: “SUPERNATURAL!!!! HNNG”

Granted he’s Dee Dee ex-roomate and friend, I’m giving the egg to Justice as it was probably for their wedding.
25Justice: “Oh!  Who left this thick cucumber in my floor?!  Its so cute!”26The camera panned over.  You know what time it is.

Peace: “Yeah I know what time it is… definetely don’t like it though.”27Happiness: “I sense… my SON!  MY SON IS D-were you watching me sleep again, Peace?”

Peace: “Uh, I might have been?  Doesn’t matter now though, I can see through my own body.”28Happiness: “WAAAH MY SON MY BABY MY BUNDLE OF JOY LAST LIVING CHILD OF MY LIFE”

Death: “Hurry up I have a date at Red Lobster in 25 minutes.”

And so ended the life of Gen 3 Peace Fallen.  Good sim.  Never found his alien daughter, and I will always regret that.  29Justice: “I came as fast as I could!”

Happiness: “IT’S TOO LATE!  MY BABY BOY GONE FOREVER”

Wrath: “How do you make a hormone?  You don’t pay her.”30Happiness: “SOB!  HE WAS THE BEST THING I EVER PUT IN THIS WORLD”

Wrath: “SOB!  DEATH WOULDN’T TAKE ME WITH HIM TO RED LOBSTER”

Only the important things with these guys.31Justice: “Oh I miss him already!  He never got to meet his grandchild or anything.”

Happiness: “I guarentee he’s watching over here now as we speak.  I’m sure he would be thrilled with his granddaughter.”32Happiness: “Uh I take it back.  She’s not really all that thrilling.”

Justice: “Jeez, THANKS, grandfather.”

Peace came to be with Justice and all while he’s grieving the loss of his child.35Happiness: “This hallway has helped me find my inner harmony.”

Dee Dee: “Who is this fool in my house”

Not sure Dee Dee has ever really properly met Justice’s family other than seeing them at the wedding.
36Dee Dee: “WAAAAH, MY FATHER-IN-LAW IS GONE AND I MISS HIM”

You never MET him

Baal: “Yep, he ghost now.  Can’t wait to see THAT one haunting the refrigerator now.”
37OOPS the egg fell over38Ramiel: “SIKE I just hatched, hello.”

This is Ramiel, which I specifically named after the Angel of Hope, so when Hope is old enough, this is her dragon.
39Ramiel: *Dies*

Justice: “Well that’s a shame.”

Gnome in the corner: “Lol don’t care”
40Hetal: “I feel my sexy corset is getting tight.  I must be with child!”

Hysteria: “K”

And so begin’s the fifth generation of evil.41Justice: “We all know what the purple dragons are able to summon, so let’s see what kind of power the green ones can do!”42Justice: *Is murdered by lightning*

Just kidding, Ramiel actually summoned a ruby gemstone.43Hetal: “Someone locked us in the nursery and won’t let us out!  Please!  I will force myself to pee all over the floor if you don’t open the door!”

Happiness: “I just want to go to the back yard and play in hot coals and I can’t do that :(“44Hetal: “Dee Dee I’m warning you I WILL eat this baby if you don’t open the door!”

Happiness: “We’re all going to die in here.  Is this how it all ends?”

The door was “jammed” because of a gnome, but I had long moved him out of the way and he’s still “blocking” the door.45Happiness: “Well if I’m dying at least I guess to die with a cute babe like you.”

Hetal: “SOMEONE OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR BEFORE I BEAT THIS MAN INTO A PILE OF VAMPIRIC SLUDGE”

I ended up moving the door.46Dee Dee popped and a spare baby is on the way!

Baal: “Sad 4 Peace, cry”47Hysteria: “She popped AGES ago!  Now all she’s doing is hogging the bathroom.”

Dee Dee: “What me?  Aw, now why would I do a little thing like that? :)”

That smirk on your face, Dee Dee you’re doing that on purpose!!48Hysteria: “This can’t be, this CAN’T be!  I’m the matriarch, I can’t have my first fail be like this!!  I can’t have this mark on my record!  I could just die!!”

Dee Dee: “Then perish”

Dee Dee, DON’T be so smug about this, jeez…49Hysteria: “So I came to the conclusion while I was considering pummeling your wife, that the reason I won’t take a photo with you for the wall is because I don’t fucking know you.”

Justice: “That’s true I think… I don’t recall a time you have actually ever talked to me.”

Hysteria: “Yeah. So, hi, my name is Hy-I mean Agony and I live here.”

Justice: “Yay budding friendship!”50Oh NO, don’t you two do this to me like this.

Justice: “Sexy, but oh no my poor father”51Hysteria: “Oh fucking hell, she’s hot”

Never talk to her ever again, that is your distant COUSIN.52In the end there were no “what’s your sign” wants or whatever, and the photo was taken.

Hysteria: “Nice.  I look good in here.  I look good in every photo, either way.  Now that that was done, never talk to me ever again, Justice.”

Justice: “Sad beans.”53It was hung up next to the potion station to commemorate the one time our heiress’ talked to each other for the first and probably only time in the house.

Good Hope

1Hetal: “Oh the evil things I’m going to do to this shitty wallpaper…”

Baal: “Hello new house resident.  I’m glad to meet your acquaintance.  While I have your attention, may I ask you something that has been on my mind lately?  …Do you think gasoline is vegan?”

Last chapter Hysteria forced Hetal to grow up since it could be another week or two before she finally became an adult.  Knowing my luck she was probably due for a birthday in a day or two but it’s behind us now.  She’s an adult, and Hysteria already got her to move in so have fun with Baal’s stupid questions, Hetal.

Dee Dee got pregnant, and now Hetal and Hysteria are engaged, so now the ball is really rolling at the Fallens now.2Hetal: “Hey fat girl.  You want to see me bounce this head of lettuce on my butt?”

Dee Dee: “Can’t hear you, too busy getting a migraine from these kitchen colors.  Maybe some other time.”3Hetal: “Ugh whatever.  I don’t have to eat this lowly ass salad.  I can conjure my own food, from thin air.  That’s more than you non-witch losers can do, isn’t it?!”

Dee Dee: “Actually can relate, just don’t care.”

Justice: “Don’t worry, I’m making a salad with no booty tossing involved in making it!”
4Justice: “Do baby like salad?”

Dee Dee: “I actually may have died a bit on the inside, I haven’t moved from this spot for a few hours now.”5Justice: “Now that my wife has been fed, time to achieve my dream of mixing chemicals and not burning alive.”

Dee Dee: “Please don’t die over there, love.”

Hetal: “Nah actually, please do die.  This salad tastes even worse than my ass salad.”6Justice: “I DID IT!  I finally DID IT!  I have never seen anything so beautiful in my whole life!  I still have to do my other wish of creating a specific horror potion but this is great!  Now I can wish for anything else!”7And she wishes for the ancient curse that is a new trampoline.

Nothing like bouncing around in the frozen yard at night in your wedding dress!8Justice: “And then I wished to play chess, and here we are now, love!”

Dee Dee: “I see, but what in the world is wrong with this board?  Is this a manufacturing error?”9Justice: “Oh don’t be silly, this is Chess 2!  It’s chess, but with a new rule book, new pieces like Rook 2, Pawn 2, Queen with a Gun, and a whole new board for all around family fun!”

Dee Dee: “Can’t say I’m having fun.”10The next morning, the family awoke to discover something.

Justice: “zzzmmmph, is it that I never wake with morning breath?  Mmmm, my shiny teeth ‘n me, zzzzz, (shiny teeth shiny teeth)”11Dee Dee: “NO, THE BABY IS ON ITS WAY, HURRRRN”

Justice: “WHOOP, up and out we go.”12Hysteria: “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?? WHAT IS MY MOTHER DOING TO MY RIGHTFUL HOUSE!?!”

Just don’t look at it and it will be fine.

For the record, I don’t even really check on that side of the street anymore, because as smooth as my game is right now, every time I go over there it chokes up.  I scroll through their icons to check on them every so often to see if they aren’t holding in pee or not sleeping, but so far, as long as they are good, I leave the lot alone.13Hysteria: “Welcome back.  The fuck is that.”

Dee Dee: “This would be our new baby.  I would introduce but it’s cold outside and I must go in and keep her warm.”14Hysteria: “Humph.  This is what I think of you and your newborn baby.”

Dee Dee: “I do not like you.”15New baby time!  This is baby Hope Fallen, baby 1 of Gen 5 of the legacy!

She is a loner and a heavy sleeper so far, and her favorites are R&B, pancakes, and the color grey.  So far not much, but she is a witch.16Baal: “And for her I will protect her with my LIFE!”

Baal is a really good dog.17Alex: “Bah humbug.  The Christmas season.  Can’t stand this mess.  If they think I’m going to put in extra effort this holiday season, they can forget it.”

Define effort.

Frida: “Hey.  Ghost of Christmas Present here.  I don’t really have to show you a damn thing, but considering how much of a crappy person you are I’m just going to smack you in the head with this ugly bench.”18Alex: *Has been smacked*

Serenity: “Ugh.  You know, this is your fault Sabrina.  You let a trashy skank of a maid into this house after all.”

Alice: “That’s Sabrina’s fault?  Wow, what a dumbass.”

Sabrina: “How is the dead hooker maid MY fault?!”19The party is a gift giving party!  Which Justice wanted and now that they work I’m fine with having.20Justice: “As much as I really wanted this party, everyone come open presents!  I’m tired and gonna go on and go to bed as soon as possible, but you guys get started!”

Jin: “Where are my grandchildren?!  The ones the ugly mean pink one promised?!”

Justice: “Uh…”21Jin: “I am here to teach them the ways of the ho.”

Justice: “What”

Malcolm: “Alice, I’m scared”22Justice: “Well, I’m just going to go first after all, and see what you got me for the holidays, so you can go home, Serenity.”

Agony: “Is she still doing that passing out thing at the sign of ghosts?  Lame.”23Justice: “Wow!  A whole Playstation 4!  Thanks Serenity!  You’re the best big sister ever!”

Serenity: *Is out*

And then, BAAL DIED

But instantly 2.4 seconds later MY POWER WENT OUT

so we return back to before Hope was born, and Baal gets a second chance!24It was only a couple days so I’m not completely burned about it.  Though I was planning Hysteria’s and Hetal’s wedding on the same day Justice wanted a gift giving party, so I went ahead and had the wedding the day before Hope is due.

Not wanting the same thing as Justice and Dee Dee, Hysteria held hers at the bar when she and Hetal had their first “date”.

Hysteria: “This layout is acceptable.”25Hetal: “Mother.  I’m glad you could make it to my big day.  I am dressed in a stolen dress, drenched in the blood of my enemies.”

Dee Dee: “Actually I donated it to her since I didn’t use it and she colored it with a sharpie but I’m not in this shot so whatever.”

I’m really liking Jin’s stockings.26Jin: “Bye.  I’ll watch the video when you guys put it on YouTube.”

Hetal: “Mom… why, you’re my only friend…”

She was also the only one invited.27Hysteria: “Forget her.  We can destroy her life later.  Today it’s just about you and me.”

Hetal: “Oh my beloved.  I have been awaiting this day since I grew up, like two nights ago.”28Justice: “Oh… so sleepy.  I still haven’t had a chance to take a nap and I’m about to pass out…”

Hysteria: “You RUIN my wedding, and I will RUIN your life, Justice!  You better whip out that moodlet manager RIGHT NOW!”29Justice: *Whips it*

Hysteria: “That’s what I THOUGHT”30Justice doesn’t need to ruin the wedding.  Hetal can do that for us.

Hetal: “Halfway to the altar I decided that snack time is more important, be right back”

Hysteria: “NO!  I will not tolerate distractions!  My wedding will be just as successful as Justice’s and there will be NO hang-ups!”31Hysteria: “Uh, Hetal?  The fuck?”

Hetal: “Yeah, it’s lame.  More or less when my mom left the party was over.  Isn’t that something shitty?”

Hysteria: “UM.  NO??”32Hysteria: “Here’s the deal.  We are still having our wedding, party with your shitty mother or not.  And if you keep ignoring my asks to come to the altar, they’ll be picking little Hetal bits out of the back dumpster for weeks.”

Justice: “So violent…”

Belinda: “WHO’S CATERING”33Hetal: “Grumble grumble.  Fine I’m here.”

Hysteria: “Of course.”

Justice: “Tell me when you guys are starting.  I’m learning how to make buttered toast!”

Dee Dee: “Hun, just come sit down.”34Hysteria: “And til death due us part-”

Hetal: “There will be no death.  After our souls leave this mortal coil, you are forever bound to me by the will of the Dark Coven Lord himself.”

Hysteria: “Even hotter!”

Dog: “Pardon me for intruding but I NEED SNACK”

Justice: “Aw, you poor puppy… if only I knew a potion that could help you in this circumstance… speaking of potions, I never finished the first want and must go back to doing that want ALL OVER AGAIN”35And with that, perfect wedding fini-

Ashley: “SPliiiiiiiiiit peAAAAA souuuUUUUuuuppp”

This wedding was a trainwreck, moving on.36Hetal, now an offical Fallen, is evil, great kisser, clumsy and has no sense of humor.  When she grew up she became a computer whiz (so fitting), and her LTW is The Tinkerer.  That’ll be up to her whether she gets it or not (she won’t)

I kept her look as close to a witchy motif as I could, and let her keep her Wicked Witch of the East stockings but replaced her ruby slippers with some ruby shit stompers.

Hetal: “More comfy than some outdated slippers anyway.”

Now that that has been established, back to wish granting, as Justice has to get back to getting that potion wish out of her want panel.36Justice: *Already standing in the corner where she belongs*

Hopeless, absolutely hopeless.37Baal is still alive so far, kicking back and enjoying life 🙂

Baal: “FUCK THIS COUCH”

Dee Dee: “If the couch wasn’t as ugly as this whole room is, I would be completely miffed.”38Someone pray tell what I’m fucking looking at.

Hetal: “Sexiness thank you very much.”

Eunice: “Bye, I’m shoving myself in the stove now.”
39Eunice: “Oh wow, I found waffles in there!  I guess the afterlife isn’t so bad after all.”

They were actually left in there when Dee Dee ran out to birth the baby. I didn’t realize she forgot them in the stove, so in retrospect, you may have saved lives today, Eunice.  Thank you!

Eunice: “Fuck.”40Dee Dee: “I’m back with the baby, and it’s good to see the house didn’t burn down (I guess).  Baal, meet Hope, again!  This time she likes soul music, vegetarian fish and chips (nasty), and her favorite color is green.  Boring.  However, this time she is perceptive and good, and because she’s good, she’s heiress unless a good sibling is born!”

Baal: “Just sit her on the floor over there and I’ll still watch over her with my life and all, but this couch has got to GO”41Hysteria: *Surplexs an innocent snowman*42Justice: “So glad to have you in my life, Hope.  You’re the greatest thing I have ever made, even above that potion I made in another life!”

Justice is going to be great at parenthood.
43She wanted a party again, so back to where we were to start with *Saves game*

Jin: *Really determined to hoe it up* “Ok, where are those grandbabies?”

Hetal: “Look mom.  After what you did at my wedding, I assure you.  You will never see your future grandbabies as long as I live.”44Dee Dee: “Oooh, I sure hope I get an actual winter coat for my gift!”

*No one caring*45Dee Dee: “Ugh, why me?!  This dress is cursed!!”

DON’T YOU EVEN

GO TO THE BATHROOM46Dee Dee: *Crumples on the floor instead*

Pip: “I may not be invited, but who’s the party crashing cat?”

Jax: “I’m just here for gifts like the rest of y’all.  Meow.”

It’s my simself’s roommate’s cat, of whom I think followed my simself.  47Dee Dee: “Look!  Two pets came to our party!  Hello sweet babies!  You are welcome to our party!”

Pennie: *Barreling in from left field*

Jax: “What?  Fuck off.”48Dee Dee: “Oops, I stood up too fast, because it all rushed out at once… Maybe no one can tell from how thick the wedding dress is…”49Agony: “What the hell.  You smell like piss.”

Malcolm: “Dee Dee?  Did you really have to eat asparagus and ruin Christmas?”

Dee Dee: “We just going to ignore the pets pummeling the lives out of each other on the carpet?  Yea?”50Agony: “Look at what has happened.  My dog has died for your holiday party in exchange for Baal not dying this go around.  Are you bastards happy now?!”

Dee Dee: “Now that I think about it, I may not have washed this dress from the first time I wet myself in it.  Mmm, musty.”51Hysteria: “Uh excuse you all but who’s cat is this?”

Jax: “I know the bitch isn’t thinking about me.”

Well maybe stop being broken.

Serenity: “Mm, thanks for the fruity pebbles, guys”52Now that I’m looking at the pets, Pennie looks like Baal almost, in several ways.

Agony: “I didn’t get to have much when I moved out of the family.  Hysteria took everything from me, even Baal, so I have to settle for this Chinese bootleg.”

She is still cute though.52Justice: “I feel pukey now, and it’s not from the strong smell of piss in the room.”

Sabrina: “Of course you do.  Stay away from me, I got work in the morning.”53Jax: “GREAT PARTY!  HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE!”

Haley: “Glad you are, cat.  Because I sure as hell ain’t.”54Baal: “Um, hello?”

Pennie: “Hello new friend!  I love what you’ve done to your home!  It’s so cozy, and the half eaten couch is such a nice touch in your living room!”

Baal: “Oh, thanks!  I worked hard on it.”56.jpgJustice: “They’re appearance really is uncanny.  Are you sure they aren’t related?”

Agony: “Kinda.  After all all of Baal’s children and grandchildren and so on died in the fire pit that was Hidden Springs eons ago.”

Dee Dee: “That’s depressing.  Maybe one of his offspring actually survived after all, and it’s Pennie!”

I love to think about it that way.55Baal: “Never use sprinkler water to drink from because they put chemicals in there so whenever they want you to forget about political conspiracies, they activate the chemicals to make you forget!  This is how the Oligarchy stays in power!”

Pennie: “And never trust birds of prey!  They’re really government drones designed to keep an eye on you in case you become woke to those conspiracies, and that’s how the FBI find you!  Eye in the sky, they fly up high!”

Baal: “Wow you really are my daughter!!  My child! ;-;”

Justice: “Aw, they like each other :)”57Baal: “And there she goes, out in the world, I’ll probably never see her again, but I hope life is good to her.”

Jax: “Come on, before I wreck your ass again.”

Pennie: “Yes sir.”58Justice didn’t get the game console this go around, but Hysteria got one gnome and five guitars from this.

Hysteria: “Originally I was pissed but now I have many replacements to bash over people’s heads every time I break one.”

Silver lining.
59And finally caught up from the black out.  This time Baal lived, so he can at least sleep one more day by his master’s side where he’s fond of sleeping these days.60Baal: “Actually I can’t sleep.  Something’s keeping me up…”

Uh, forgetting to die maybe?

Baal: “I forgot to warn Pennie about the chemicals they put in our chicken too…”

Just go to sleep.

Grow Up

1Jaime

Just, why

Jaime: “What?  She has a sweet personality…”2Last chapter, Justice and Dee Dee got married.  Dee Dee peed herself, and the party was “ok” but its fine, its whatever.

Here’s Dee Dee’s family card, she is a good, friendly schmoozer, and she’s excitable and childish.  The LTW is Heartbreaker but nah that ain’t happening.  Say bye bye to your chance at thottyness, Dee Dee.

She’s also a witch but according to her in-game bio, she and/or her roommates seem unaware of her witchyness?  Like they’re big supernatural nerds looking for fairies and vampires and don’t seem to know that one of their own is a witch?  Or maybe they know and don’t care?  Or Dee Dee knows and won’t say?  Or maybe Dee Dee doesn’t even know herself??  She sure don’t act like she knows.

Her original household seems interesting to me now, like it’s one of those you-further-the-plot kind of adventures, but right now we’re focusing on our Fallen legacy and all she’s here for is babies and dying.

Dee Dee: “Yay!!”
3Hysteria: “Bullshit.  I have to soak in a Chucky Cheese bathroom while my mother gets this luxury set up.  Ugh.  I’ll give her credit for posting our photo of our only interaction in here to look at, so maybe I won’t stuff her body in a vent just yet.”4Speaking of photos, I gotta catch up on family photos for this generation.  For some reason Hysteria will NOT get in the booth with Justice for shit, so I moved one into this house to see if that changed anything?  It doesn’t.

Hysteria just doesn’t want that sentimental shit I guess.5Doesn’t stop Dee Dee and Justice tho.6Justice: “Well, I don’t recall a mole on that buttcheek!”

Dee Dee: “Is this witch stuff?  What is magic?  How broomstick?”7Hysteria: “I refuse to get in that nasty photo booth now that my cousin has ruined it.  And I turn away from this lovely kitchen that my mother so obviously abuses with her shitty cooking.”

You do nothing here, go home.8Justice: “I like chilling here.  A great honeymoon location!  How many sims do you know even get honeymoons at all?!”

Nothing like a snowy winter pool dip, though the pool bar is nice.  Almost worth the hypothermia.9Dee Dee: “I will give you guys credit.  You took a dead empty plot of land and turned it into the most bumpin’ honeymoon resort this town could have asked for.  Honestly how did you do all this WITHOUT magic?”

Happiness: “Uh?  I’m rich?  I guess?  And this isn’t a resort, this is our bathroom.  Please, let me poo.”10How’s the house going, Alex?

Alex: “Uh, I threw out a bag of, I think, leaves?”

I guess that will do for now.  I suppose you’re doing enough work to live one more day.11Baal is a little lonely, but he’s holding down the fort well so far.

Baal: “I’m on an aDvEnTuRe!”

You’re happy, that’s what matters.12Hysteria is really fond of her graduation gown.

Hysteria: “I really want to make money with this broom riding shit.  Not sure what spurred it on, but if I can make a buck out of this, then how hard can it possibly be?”13*Instantly impaled on spiky fantasy tree*14Hysteria: “Can’t say I enjoyed getting spiked in the head by a tree.  When does people start paying me to do this again?”

Secret skill I suppose?15Doreen: “You are like baby.  Watch this.”

Rick: “My mother-in-law may be a bitch but she’s bar none when it comes to showing off on a broomstick.”

Hysteria: “I’m calling a hit man for one-uping me like this.”16Hetal: “Hello”

Hysteria: “Bitch get in here”17Hysteria: “When are you EVER going to grow up?!”

Hetal: “Well you see I got a lot on my plate before graduation and I still have a major finals test coming up, and I have been putting off a paper on Millard Fillmore for like 4 months, and its due in like 3 days, and I really just don’t want to write a five page paper on some old president, and then there’s prom-“18Hysteria: “I don’t have TIME for this!  Justice and her wife are making babies and furthering their legacy as we SPEAK!  I will not be shown up like this, so you’re going to take this potion and grow the fuck up already!”19Hetal: “But… why… stripping me of my youth so quickly… I have so much still left to enjoy in my life… I wanted to graduate with my classmates, and go to prom, and I don’t even get to have my birthday party…”

Hysteria: “FINNNEEE.  I’ll throw you a party.”20Hysteria: “Weee.  Happy birthday, birthday girl, happy birthday to you.”

Doreen: “Congratulations!  You’re old enough to pay for my social security!  I’m so happy for you!”

Rick: “Or you’re old enough to commit tax fraud just to spite this bitch!  Even better!! Woo!!”21Hysteria: “Oh fuck she’s hot”22Hysteria: “Anyone tell you you fine, lil mama”

Hetal: “That’s the kindest thing anyone has ever said about me”

Doreen: “Lol that’s gross”
23Meanwhile across town Agony birthed a baby behind her trailer.

Agony: “That was quick.  I guess its because its a vampire baby I was able to pop her out so early??  Imma name her Renesmee.”

No you ain’t.24Hysteria took Hetal out on a date that was 80% ice skating on the river, because it’s what she wanted.

Hetal: *Breaks down into a party rock shuffle*25Hysteria: “She’s a show off.  I shall updo her by drilling a hole through the ice and drown.”

She already left and went to work.26Meanwhile back at the house Dee Dee is now pregnant.

As exciting as it is, Happiness and Wrath is HEART FARTING SOMEWHERE IN THE HOUSE27Happiness: “I got to admit, your Queen Bee theme you got going on is really doing it for me.”

DATS DISGUSTING28Wrath: “You know what’s hot, that leftover mac ‘n cheese in the fridge.  Bye boy.”

Happiness: “FINE.  Leave me like everyone else.  Women can be so fickle.”

Didn’t you know, Happiness?  The way through a woman’s heart is her stomach, and if you keep macking up with your cousin the way to your heart is going to be a steak.

Wrath: “Mmmm, steak~”29Justice: “This is the day, that I FINALLY complete this lifelong wish of mine!  I will finish this potion today, I swear on it!!”30Justice: “FECAL MATTER”

Alex: “Scoot over, you’re paying me with that grilled cheese today.”31Alex: “I also want this ice cream.  And my regular $125.  Naturally.”

Dee Dee: “Did you EVEN do anything today besides brush your teeth in our garden again?”

Alex: “Bitch you saw nothing and therefore know nothing of what I’ve done today.”

Guys, the fish is dead you guys are USELESS32Justice: “Sigh, such a sad end to such a short life.  I will give you a fitting funeral down our toilet.”33Justice: “Oof, that chicken parmesan hit me awfully hard all of a sudden”

I’m sure the fish appreciates the send off.34She was replaced with a green goldfish with dropsy.

Goldfish bowl decor: *Ready to pop the fish like a balloon*
35Hetal: “Housemaid.  I demand dim sum every morning by my bedside.  And it has to be the proper temperature, I don’t like it cold, and if it’s too hot I will turn you into a toad.”

Dee Dee: “I am not the housemaid.”

Hetal: “Like I really care.”

While they are getting to know each other, LOOK, someone built an igloo. 36Hysteria: “Who cares who made it.  Hetal!  Get your ass in here.”

Hetal: “WEEEE”37Romantic.

Igloo: *Repetitive Roblox OOF sound on repeat*
38Pretty sure I know who built the igloo.

Dee Dee: “The baby likes it when I build fun sculptures in the snow.”

*Distant snow humping sounds*39Hysteria: “Now that we are done ruining Dee Dee’s igloo, time for a fun date night, MOVE IT YOU LOSERS I’m on a date.”

Hetal: “Sure enjoying this night out!”40I don’t think any sims in my game even really participate with the Showtime expansion anymore.

Bill: “I just don’t want to sell my land to anyone wanting to build a strip mall on my land :(“41Hysteria: “Sell the land!  Give us something worthwhile!”

Hetal: “Sell it or I will place a plague curse on your house!”

Bill: *Distant sobbing*

This lot wasn’t fun.
42Hysteria: “This lot is more fun.  No people, not much to do, but it’s 3 am, what can ya do about it.”

Hetal: “Focus on what you’re doing.  You aren’t sculpting the snowman properly and if he falls over on me I’ll feed you to a shark.”

Hysteria: “Mmph you’re hot when you threaten me.”43Hetal: “Ah, the full moon is so lovely tonight… Doesn’t it just make you want to grab a broomstick and fly across country placing curses on beautiful women?”

Hysteria: “That’s stupid because then you would be placing a curse on yourself!”

Hetal: “Oh~”
44Hysteria: “You got that rocking bod and you’re the only girl that’s on my level.  Marry me and we’ll curse this whole land, beautiful or not!”

Hetal: “AAAH WHO WOULD HAVE SEEN THIS ENGAGEMENT COMING”45Hetal: “It’s glorious.  I will make it my next horcrux and place it in a cave in the highest mountain guarded by the largest golem.”

Hysteria: “Or just keep it on your finger.”

Hetal: “That too.  It is nicer there.”

46She’s so emotional she doesn’t know what to do with herself!!

Literally.  Bitch trying to crash my game.47Hysteria: “Glad she’s happy.  I’m gonna spend the next 5 hours on snowboarding wants.  Leave me alone.”

Happy to do so.48This was the remainder of their date.  As long as they are happy it’s all good.49Justice: “What?  I’m not doing anything.  Just chilling by the front door.  Behaving.”

CAN YOU NOT FAIL FOR TEN MINUTES?

Seriously, the second those wants fuck off that potion table is going away forever.50Ending the chapter with the upcoming baby’s nursery, created out of the spare unused bathroom upstairs.  Very bubblegummy.