Instantly in Love

So last chapter, ugh, I don’t remember.  I just wrote it.  Uh.

Last time, during one of Hope’s many parties that have begun to blur together for me, Percy, whom has previous kissed Trust, kissed Avarice, much to the horror of Trust, who had to witness it.  Then Percy asked Love to prom.  I’m not impressed with him right now.  Hope grew up into elder, and Rage set my simself son on fire again.  At this point I don’t know why.  He doesn’t bother anyone else, but once he enters my house he’s got to roast my children?  Maybe he just hates me that much.Happiness, open the chapter.

Happiness: “Oh hey Sabrina!  What’s that?  You want to go on yet ANOTHER date with me?  Haha, oh man, you’re never going to learn are you!  Sure, I’ll be down there in a second.”

Honestly at this point, Sabrina deserves any bullshit he gives her at this point if she keeps running back to him for whatever.Sabrina: “Happiness?  It’s me, Sabrina.  I’m old now.  I know that you’ll probably like this a lot more than when I was younger.  All you vampires love to bag us old broads, your brethren do it all the time.  So what do you say?  Will you bed me now that I’m old and creeky?”

UM.Happiness: “Oh baby.  You know I will.”

Sabrina: “Holy shit it worked.”

Holy shit it worked.Happiness: “See, if Pis’tachio used more warm colors in this work, he would never get the sad melancholy feeling across in this work, and it would just become a landscape piece.  But this way, he gets his meaning across, and that’s why this work is such a classic piece.”

Sabrina: “Well, I guess I chose the location of this date, I should have seen this coming.”

Complete with six foot social distancing.  This really does look like a proper modern date to be quite honest frankly.Happiness: “I will say, I don’t get where the artist is going with this piece.  Personally I think there’s just too much frond in this one.”

You dumbass, this isn’t art.Sabrina: “Oh art.  How I love you so.  If only I was good at it, I could have pieces in such a boring museum such as this.  Ah well, one day.”

They only interacted with each other for like a moment, but I like to think they had a pretty pleasant date for once.Hope: “Alright Paulo!  Don’t forget to put some salve on those chest sores, and we’ll pick the experiment up from the top tomorrow, ok?!”

Paulo: “This is bullshit.”

A hair off topic, Hope is level six in her career, and while she only needs three more promotions, her days are severely numbered at this point.  Which fucking sucks because for the record, she’s good at her job, but she literally works like two days a week.  Between holidays and random weird days off, not to mention all the time the game gave her off for maternity leave, she just hardly works.

Rage oddly doesn’t have the same problem and is doing fine.  Her on the other hand, I worry about making it.Trust on the other hand isn’t doing baddd, but she has no gardening under her belt and they don’t touch the garden unless I make them so….

Trust: “Garden???  DIRT??  Oh come on I’m alien, can’t I just whip through this career on my brains alone?”

Unfortunately not.Trust: “Anyway, WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE DESK”

Anguish: “It’s artistic license, get off my dick I think it looks cooler this way.”

Trust: “YOU’RE GROUNDED AGAIN”

Anguish: “OH COME ON, IT’S NOT AS BAD AS THE COUCH, WHICH YOU WILL SEE AS SOON AS IT LOADS IN”Anguish: “SEE?!  This is FAR worse!!”

Trust: “Oh dear God”

Happiness: “I DIDN’T DO IT”

Krampus: “Hehe, they will never know it was I that did it ALL”

Belial: “You know we could just blame the fleas and get away with it all, right”Hope: “Frenchie PLEASE!  I have to get back to studying for my science projects!  Between my party schedule and the five minute schedules they give me at work, I’m behind!”

Frenchie: “Nonsense!  Now man up!  We got a lot of duck down to beat each other up through and we got all night…”Pandemic: “You know, if I grow up, and actually become evil, you know what’s going to happen?”

Anguish: “What’s that.”

Pandemic: “I get your bed and you have to move out and sleep on the streets from now on.”

Anguish: “Yeah yeah.  Good luck with that buddy.  It’ll never happen.”Pandemic: “Oh yeah?!  Just WATCH me, Anguish!  Here I go, I’ll never see the inside of that stupid sleeping back ever again!!”

Anguish is already gone.

Rage: “Yay my son.  Woo.”Hey, Pandemic actually turned out to be pretty good looking!  However, his last trait, hot-headed, while assholey, is not evil, and therefore, unless Anguish suddenly becomes good, he’s not going to get heir.  We shall see in the upcoming few days.

Rage: “Toot toot.  Can I go to work now?”

Pandemic: “Yeah, I guess so, dad.”Oh shit!  The birds are back!  About time you could join us in the real world.

Archangel: “We go away on vacation for a week and come back and you guys are talking to the walls.  And I thought the abandoned pet store was crazy enough.”Happiness: “Oh don’t worry, Ramiel.  Just because the birds have returned doesn’t mean you aren’t still number one in our hearts and pockets.”

Ramiel: “Where in the hell am I now”Alright.  It’s Hope’s last day as heiress.  Love will grow up soon, and so Hope spent her last day on a fairly simple wish.  To go fishing, which she needs the skill for her job anyway.Hope: “Ugh, another huge trout.  This isn’t as fun or as cool as I thought it would be.”

You’re catching some big ass fish with ease, I don’t see what the problem here is.Hope: “Oh I see.  Winter’s over and the snow’s packing up and going away.”

That was fast.Back at the house.  Where the hell are you going.

Trust: “So apparently Percy doesn’t want to work through our problems, and I just… I just want to be friends with him again.  I’m off to save the friendship.”

You can just DO that?Trust: “Oh Percy.  I’ll be honest.  I still have feelings for him.  But I know now it’s never going to be meant to be.  I’ll always have a place in my heart for him, and I do hope he at least feels the same.”

Percy: “Why do I smell cheese”Trust: “Percy, it’s me, Trust.  Hey, I just want to talk.  Can’t we just be friends again?  I know you betrayed me and wrecked the end of my teenage years, but I forgive you.  I still think you’re an important person in my life and I want to keep being friends with you.  I don’t want to lose your lifelong friendship over you making out with my family… of all things… so what do you say?”Percy: “Ugh, do I have to.”

Trust: “Um.  No?  But I figured you could at least be a bigger person over you know.  Betraying me.”

Percy: “If it gets you off my ass about this, whatever.  Blah blah, friends again, ugh.”Trust: “You know what, eff off, you’re still trash.  GOD I can’t even believe I TRIED with you.”

Percy: “WHAT DID I DO”Trust: “I’m distracted now.  You ok over here, Fredrick?  You look like you’re having a bad trip.”

Archie: “Fuck off broad!  Can’t you see I’m having fun time with my main man Fredrick here?!”

Trust: “Actually… I CAN’T see you having fun time…”Percy: “Ok, I’m done having my weird manic episode, Trust!  I hope you forgive me for being an asshole earlier and hope we can be friends after all!”

Trust: “Oh wow, Percy!  I knew you’d come through.  You’ve always been there for me.”

Fredrick: “No one move.  I misplaced Archie’s feet and now he’s completely gone.”

Jefferson: “OH COME ON YOU’RE HOLDING UP THE TRACK HERE”Percy: “Oh shit, I’m sorry about that, Trust!  I didn’t mean to sling you down and crack your skull on the ice!  Sometimes I just don’t know my own strength.”

Fredrick: “So like I was saying, if you see a pair of disembodied feet stuck somewhere please contact me or his family.  I don’t want to be the person that misplaces my bro.”

Jefferson: “I don’t know man, maybe you ARE having a bad trip here.”While Trust and Percy continue to build the remnants of their relationship back up on the ice, Felicity had to up and tap out.  RIP to Toaster’s wife and Archie and Dianna’s mother.

Shopkeep: “So uh, no one else going to do anything about this dying woman?  Does this mean I can go home early today?”

GET THE FUCK BACK TO WORK SLACKERReynaldo: “OOoooh!  Who left this perfectly good dead woman here?!”

Don’t mess with your Aunt’s grave, Reynaldo.  That’s not nice.Anyway, Love’s birthday now.  I held out as long as I could to bump Hope around for skills, but it’s now time for a new chapter in command.

Happiness: “HAHA she was a baby once.”And SUCCESS!  Love is cute.  I still think her sister holds my heart, but I love Love just as much.

Her last trait is Kleptomaniac.  Why Love.  That’s not nice.

Love: “The only thing I want to steal around here is people’s hearts.  I hope they love me.”

Her LTW is to be Super Popular and have 20 friends.  Which seems so doable now that my computer, you know, WORKS.Yoink.  Gimme that plumbob, Hope.  Keep reading that book for as long as you can.  Frenchie, fuck off, I see that pillow fight icon you ASSHOLE.

Alastor: “Me dead go away”First want?  Get a charisma point.  Which will definitely help in the long run when it comes to making friends.

Love: “Considering I DO have friends AND my own high school boyfriend I don’t know the first thing about socializing with anyone.  Best to get my practice in while I can.”Pandemic: “Hey Love.  You in here?  Cool, good.”

Love: “Pandemic?  What’s up dude?  What brings you into my room, of all places?”Pandemic: “I’m stealing your bed now that you’re an adult and can fuck off and find somewhere else to sleep.  I need this bed more than you do now.”

Love: “Well… that’s actually kind of true.  You really need to get off that foot now that you completely twisted and shattered that ankle just now.”

Pandemic: “Shattered my… oh.”Love: “Thanks for coming to the park with me, guys!  This is actually kind of cool, to get out and hang with everyone, especially since this is the first time I think the park has not had an event going on for as long as this town existed!”

Trust: “I know right?  I’ve never seen chessboards out here ever!  I wonder where they’ve been keeping them?”Distraction time.  Oooh, the cheekbones on this child!

I meant to look at the genealogy, I’m guessing one of Reynaldo’s nieces or nephews but I didn’t bother to check at the time.Gator: “Hello, Love!  My name is Gator and I’m also a friend of your cousin Rage.”

Love: “No, no!  Don’t tell me!  I can pick up all the info I need to know about you!  Trust me, it’ll make this interaction so much easier with me.”Love: “Wait!  No!  Don’t bend down and play with the dog!  The brainwaves will get crossed and I may never figure out who you are!!”

Gator: “Aw Pepper!  Who’s a good doggie, puppy baby girl?!”Love: “Ok, now that I have established that you are Pepper of the Wolff clan, let’s take some samples for further measure, shall we?”

Gator: “Wait, WHAT?”Gator: “HOLD ON, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT”

Love: “Oh don’t worry, just some old probing equipment my father had laying around.  Now hold still!  Because if you squirm at all, this may rake the skin straight off your bone and that’s not the point of this interaction now is it?”Love: “Haha, I’m just playing Mr. Pepper sir!  It’s a prank toy!  I once read humans like humorous gag pranks while interacting with each other!  Helps to break the ice and make friends, and trust me, we have plenty of ice around here to break.”

Gator: “Um.  I don’t think that’s how it work, Love…”

Pepper: “I’m going on a limb and I’m gonna guess that Rage is going to be the only one here that gets to be your friend, Gator…”Love: “Oh man!  This interaction stuff is harder than I thought!  I’m gonna have to sit for a bit, reconnect with nature, reconnect with the universe, and build myself up for my next social interaction…”

Kathryn: “STINKY LEAF TIME”Love: “Hello, Mr. Reynaldo sir!  Something deep inside me wanted to be friends with you all along, and I’m guessing it’s because we are both good birds of a feather?  I want to test it out, if you don’t mind!”

Reynaldo: “Ah, give me a minute.  I’m watching my mom rock around in the closet.  It’s the closest thing I have to fun around here some days.”Love: “Oh WOW!  Now that I got you in the good light, YOU BABY DADDY MATERIAL”

Oh wow really just like that huhReynaldo: “I’ll admit, I think you’re pretty handsome yourself, Love!”

Love: “Then let us not waste time, you lovely hunk of of a man!”WOW.  That was quite possibly the fastest I’ve ever seen sims just… work.Ramon: “Oh GOD, now they’re going to make some freakish Florida ogre/alien cross baby!  What horrors are going to unfold from this union?!”

Calm the fuck down you jerk bacon.  They aren’t hooking up THAT quickly here.Oh shit.  I guess they are.

NO TIME WASTED ON THESE TWOOH FUCK OFFReynaldo: “WOW!  I can’t believe a girl let me do that to her!  And the things she does in bed, WOWIE WOW WOW!”

Kathryn: “Uh, what’s going on in here in my bedroom?”

Love: “Um.”Love: “Oh no.  Please tell me you aren’t like, his girlfriend or wife or something…”

Kathryn: “Oh thankfully no.  I married his brother Ervin.  But you ARE still in MY bedroom after all.”

Love: “Oh.  Oh thank heavens!  I know his status said he was single but man, you had me worried there for a second.  No big deals then.”

Kathryn: “Excuse me”Oh wow.  Talk about an absent philtrum.

Kathryn: “BIG lip sneef”Kathryn: “Wait, you got me off topic!  You dickwad, how DARE you fool around with your hoebiscuit in MY bed!!”

Reynaldo: “But… no… this is my bed…”

Kathryn: “Not for much longer it isn’t!  Now that I’m married to your brother, there’s going to be some changes around here, starting with your ass!”Kathryn: “Ugh, I can’t believe this family still keeps a crazy ass reject like you!  That’s why you couldn’t even keep a girl around long before this one even came along!  No one wants your insane ass!  I’m telling you, the second Ervin and I finish the paperwork, you are getting booted out on your ASS.”Kathryn: “And then finally, this house will be all mine once you are out of my way.”

Love: “Oh just let me AT her, Reynaldo!  I cannot stand the way she talks to you!  Just let me in there for a SECOND, I will literally suck the life force out of her body with my brain for that!”

Reynaldo: “No baby it’s not worth it!”

In the end, Love befriended Kathryn almost instantly and all was well with the world for those two.  Then apparently, a few minutes later, she and Ervin ended up moving out to some tiny dump on the far side of the town.  Serves her right.Anyway.  Rage, why are you even here.

Rage: “Uh.  I followed Love?”

Get your ass out and, as a matter of fact, GO READ MY SIMSELF HER FORTUNE.  You’ve put it off long enough.

Rage: “ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT.”Rage: “Oh Gerald, it’s time for your nightly ass burning.”

Gerald: “Sigh.  Yes sir.”

Luckily for Gerald this time, Rage is out of magic and can’t do.  That and my ass is watching him like a hawk, fuck off Rage.Rage: “PLEASE, Sabrina!  It will look so good on my resume to have a simself’s fortune be read and I’ll look so good in front of the other fraudulent psychics at the Convention next week!”

Sabrina: “Oh, no, please, I already have ass for luck as it is, and I don’t need to know what further hell events are going to go down in my life right now!  We only just started 2021 after all!”

Sadly enough, Sabrina is still a reluctant bitch so Rage didn’t get the fortune.  AGAIN.  No wonder he keeps burning my children.Love: “Oh there you are, Percy!  I’ve been looking all over town for you tonight!”

Percy: “Oh?  Come to be with me, my love?  Hold me close by this furnace tonight as we express our love for each other?”

Elaine: “Not in my fuckin’ shop you ain’t.”Love: “Actually Percy, I… I have to break it off with you.”

Percy: “What?!  WHY?  I don’t understand!!”Love: “I… kinda hit it off with Reynaldo.  We just work so well together.  We just meld together, and our love for each other was instant.  I have to follow my heart.  I have to be with Reynaldo, Percy.  I’m sorry.”

Percy:  “Oh I see.  You ran off and became a slut the instant you dropped out of high school.  Whatever bike.  Go be with your radioactive Tampa freak and leave my broken heart be.”Love: “Oh come OFF it, Percy.  YOU’RE the one that kissed on my sister and broke her heart first, then kissed on my cousin, and that’s just the people I know about!  Don’t even think about swinging those insults at me when you live and breath promiscuity!”

Elaine: “Oh DAMN, son”Elaine: “I’m sorry to step in, but holy shit.  I never thought I’d see this kind of drama on my shift, ever!  God, you two are better than any TLC bullcrap I’ve ever seen!  My social media followers will never believe this!”

Love: “Friends though?”

Percy: “Ugh, nooo”Percy:  “All this ANGER in my heart!  All this RAGE!  You have awakened the BEAST, LOVE!!”

Love: “Uh” Love: “PLEASE SPARE ME, Percy I’m too dainty for mauling!!”

Elaine: “Yeah don’t I just had the floor waxxed and stripped and if you fuck it up with your mess I will make sure you never see the light of day.”

Percy: “UGH, fine.”So to end the chapter here, I end it with Trust moving out and moving on with her life.  She hasn’t reached the appropriate stage in her job for Hope’s wish for her, but she won’t garden on her own, and her job performance will soon suffer for it.  She has a better chance reaching level three on science out on her own than under my “control”.  If she reaches it or not has yet to be determined.

Promiscuous Percy

Ifrit: “UGH, finally.  Ok guys, I caught up with you.  What adult shenanigans are we gonna get into now?”

Krampus: “Nap time.  That’s what we are getting into.”

Last chapter saw Percy kissing Trust out of the blue during trick or treat, and Happiness took the opportunity to berate his descendent into hating him.  He deserves it anyway.  Anguish became a furry, and Hope already seems to be successful in crossing people and creatures, however through magic and not science.  Zoe died.  Trust grew up and to honor her mother’s wishes, joined the scientist career.But first, graduation.

Hope: “Zack please get out of my daughter’s skull.  She needs her brain to become the big time science girl I want her to be.”Off topic, but graduation bored me anyway.  These two sims have some gigantic bizongas.  Big hunga chungas.  Whonking wacky bags.  Funky fatties.  And yet.  They aren’t the same shape in any way.

Tiffanie: “That’s not even fair.  They get two different shapes of boobies and all I got is a wash board.  I want boobs too…”Celina: “You know, you really should watch where you walk with those things sticking out.  They’re likely to impale someone at the angle you got those things at.”

Liza: “Oh don’t even @ me, I paid good money for this Victoria’s Secret bra and if it holds my titties up like this then it’s well worth it.”Trust: “I’m out!  Dad, if you can see me from up there!  I’ve made it!”

Rage: “I think you’re the only one that made it.  You’re the only one that even graduated today.”Tiffanie: “Oh I’m a witch!  Who knew.”

Avarice: “Oh wow.  They really are just handing magical talent out to everyone with a checkbook huh.”

Pandemic: “WAAH!  THAT’S NOT FAIR!  OH MOTHER.  WHY DIDN’T YOU BEAR ME WITH MAGICAL PROPERTIES TOO”Tiffanie: “Ah well.  With this newly found gift for magic, I will now bestow upon me… the gift of the BIGGEST TIDDIES in town!!”

Anguish: “Lolwat”Marcella: “Oh, but foolish Tiffanie.  Everyone in the town can tell your titties are 100% fake.  No real boob will jut out that far from the bottom of your fucking ribcage, you baboon.”

Tiffanie: “And yet somehow they are still more real than yours, Marcella, at least I got the power to will mine into existence, how often do you have to go back to your surgeon to repair leakage every time you pop them on your own vampire teeth?  Once a week?”Leaving the girls to their own catfight in front of the school (most likely slinging their own tits around as weaponry) Hope took the family to the local beach for her nightly party, to celebrate her daughter’s graduation, but mostly just to party.

Hope: “Yeah Love!  This is all for you girl!!  Mama loves you very much!”

Rage: “You dumbass, Love wasn’t the one that graduated, it was Trust.  I’m starting to think it’s not Grace that’s the slow one but you instead.”Wilhelmina: “DAMN, Rage!  No one told me you became such a STUD in your recent widowing!  Lemme tap that two pack.”

Rage: “Oh GIRL.  I didn’t know you felt that way about me.”

Yeah you did.Everyone seems to be at least enjoying this party.  In their own special way I guess.

Percy: “I’ll race you to that island and back, Love!”

Love: “I think the laws of physics are going to prevent me from participating, dude.”Percy: “Wait, why are my pants getting wet”

Love: “Oh now I see why they are holding you back for another grade, Percy.”Anguish: “Oh my Lordt, this is the moment I’ve been waiting for!  My moment to release my Inner Frog!  My amphibious breathen, I have RETURNED to the sea.”

Anguish, frogs aren’t salt water.

Percy: “I just had the most brilliant idea ever!  I took my clothes off and it allowed me to sink into the water.  Now my clothes will stay dry AND I can swim with you guys!  I’m so brilliant.”Ira: “It’s a good thing I take my oversized hair dryer everywhere I go!  I mean, after all, how else would I be able to keep my hair this fabulous otherwise.”

Hope: “B-but I don’t und-d-derstand… there wasn’t even snow when we got here an hour ago, where did this freak weather even come from?!”

Grace: “Oh man.  That’s so crazy.  But they were right, your legs are the HAIRIEST I have ever seen in my LIFE, Archie!  That’s so sick lol”

Archie: “Not the focus here but I like your stupidity, girl.  Friendship points to that.”Upon rescuing Hope, Ira then followed Grace into the sea while she was wearing her good suit, never to be seen again.  Like the hero guardian angel he is.

Anguish: “MY FROG BROTHERS!!  JOIN ME IN MY FROG SONG OF FROGGINESS *sings bad Alicia Keys*”

Hope: “I really think it’s time to go home now…”Apparently everyone managed to stay through through the party except Rage.  He got a phone call from Wilhelmina (who called him from five feet away I’m sure) to ask him on a date, and they ended up halfway across town for it.  Well, I say they did.  The only one here is Rage, so a pretty big dick move on Wilhelmina’s part, you know, considering she was THERE.

Franklin: “I’m pretty sure she juked you man.  I think you got stood up and pranked hard.”

Rage: “You don’t think I ain’t realized that yet?  Man, fuck that bitch.”

You need a new best friend I believe, Rage.Finally got around to getting dickhead back out of the house.  At least for a while.  Don’t prune while you’re in there all night, Happiness.

Happiness: “What are you on about, I’m just washing my good clothes since you apparently just never installed Ambitions like you thought you did.”

He’s right, I realized way too late into this generation.  I’m so STUPID.Happiness: “I just got to sit in here a little bit longer.  My Guccis are almost completely smudge free.”

You do that.Anguish: “DAD HELP!  EMPTY MONSTER CAN HAS GONE RABID!  CODE RED DAD, CODE RED!!”

Rage: “Damn, and all I wanted was a plate of waffles.”Anguish: “Fuck, I can’t believe I got my ass beaten by my own IF.  This is more hurty than I thought it would be.”

Rage: “I’m more disappointed at you losing to a figment of your imagination than I thought I would be but I’m not surprised.”Rage: “You’re grounded for losing a fight with yourself until winter is over!”

Anguish: “This stinks.”

Had to replace the ugly ass fridge in the end after all.  I’m not even going to make it match, it’s going to break in a day too anyway.You guys remember Lana right?  She’s looking SO GOOD.  Can’t believe I ever doubted Cruelty’s line.

Lana: “Of course.”Lana: “BARFFFKAJGL”

And the circle of life looks like it will continue!  Or she’s just that disgusted by this nasty ass house.  High probability.Reynaldo: “TURKEY”

Grace: “Oh not this butthole again.”

Another party!  I hardly even cared to watch this one I don’t care about parties anymoreeeeeePercy: “Thanks for inviting me to this get together, Avarice.  I had so much fun with you…”

Oh no, oh God I recognize that stanceAvarice: “Oh”

Trust: “I can’t… I can’t BELIEVE… he KISSED MY COUSIN??!  While I’m RIGHT HERE IN THIS KITCHEN?!  I can’t believe he did this to me!  How could he hurt me like this?!”Trust: “This is all HIS fault!  Yeah!  He should get kicked out for this!”

Pandemic: “WHAT IN THE FLYING FUCK DID I DO”Rage: “Oh NO.  Oh hell NO.  Boy get back here you little whore shit”

Percy: “Nice party byeeeeeeee~”

Trust: “Eat nightsoil.”Rage: “NO, get back here and catch these hands for kissing on my son like that you little heifer!”

Avarice: “Daddy I like men now”

Trust: “I can’t believe I ever thought he would be faithful to me… and all along it turns out he was just shameless…”

Love: “…. me”Ervin: “FUCKIN THINK YOU CAN JUST WALK IN HERE AND SHOW US UP HUH YOU LITTLE FALLEN PIECE OF SHIT I love you”

Hope: “WHAT THE H DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS IS THIS FOR DUDE”Ervin: “I have defeated the home intruder, Ramon!”

Ramon: “The fuck do I care, man”

Hope: “Is this how you greet all house guests here?!  I just wanted to make friends with your mother!”Ervin: “By the way, I was serious earlier, do you want to go out sometime, or”

Hope: “I don’t even know who’s talking to me right now”Checking in on you, Grace.  How’s life going for you.

Grace: “It’s feels like I’m forgetting something.  I just can’t put my finger on it.  What could it be.”

Considering you didn’t even turn the lights on to cook your loaf, it really could be one of anything.Hope: “Oh wow!  You must be Jaime!  Grandpa told me all kinds of stories about you while I was growing up!”Jaime: “YOU HEARD NOTHING”

Hope: “GAH!  THEY WERE ALL GOOD THINGS I HEARD ABOUT YOU I SWEAR”

Avarice: “Man why do I keep walking into these bad vibe situations.”Jaime: “Good thing you’re so hot or I could have easily taken you down.”

Hope: “Humph!  Keep this up and I won’t even think about sending you a Valentine’s day card.”He’s here because of BIRTHDAY!  PARTY!! Of course.  And it’s Hope’s!  Life’s moved on fairly quick for our girl, hasn’t it.

Rage: “This is bullshit.  I’m not gonna grow up any time soon and you all can’t make me.”

Pandemic: “Dad no one asked.”Hope: “I think I can say I’ve aged fairly well!  I still think I’m doing pretty good if you ask me.”

Grace: “This sucks.  All this means is I’m going to get old and creaky soon too.  Where did my life go.”Jaime: “Oh hey friend!  Friend!!”

Happiness: “Haha I snuck in when no one was looking.”Rage: “Now that’ the party is over, it’s your turn to do the dishes.  Fucking suffer, kid.”

Love: “ZZz, ~in the arms of the angel~”The fuck.  French Revolution?  Where did you come from?

Frenchie: “I came here to PARTY!  In case you forgot, it’s also my birthday too, is it not?!”

Yeah but I thought you effed off life stages ago…Frenchie: “You thought you saw the last of me, huh Hope!  Well you’re wrong!  You’re DEAD wrong!  Feel the full force of my revenge!”

Hope: “I’m so dang tired of this…”OH

OK

GONNA CONTINUE TO BE A WHORE HUH PERCY

Love: “I’m gonna take the offer because when else will I get the opportunity to be asked out for prom :3”

Trust and Avarice: “BACK STABBER”Rage: “Please let me in, trees make me nervous.”

Are you here to actually give my simself her private reading or not, Rage?  That’s starting to get overdue.Gerald: “MOM HE LIED!  HE’S ONLY HERE TO SET ME ON FIRE AGAIN WHEN YOU AREN’T LOOKING”

FUCKING REALLY, RAGE

Rage: “I can’t believe you trusted me long enough to leave me alone long enough to do this.”Gerald: “Why do you keep doing this to us, Mr. Fallen sir… I’ve opened our home to you and you ruin my last good pair of Fruit of the Looms.”

Rage: “Yeah, I just don’t know how to socialize on my own, what do you really expect of me.”Hm.   Cozy and warm down there, Pandemic?

Pandemic: “I know no other comfort than nature’s cold embrace.”

Yeah.  Blame your mother for that, surely not my fault.Sabrina: “FUCK I got old.  Y’all couldn’t leave me alone long enough to plan my retirement huh?  You got to drag me to another one of your lame little get togethers?”

Anguish: “We have no real friends so yeah.”

Reynaldo: “I’m friend.”

Anguish: “Yeah yeah, whatever you think, Ogre.”Reynaldo: “Really?  A gift giving party here in the kitchen?  I don’t think that’s a really good substitute for a Snowflake Day tree, do you?”

Hope: “Listen, the cats were body blocking our usual gift giving spot so deal with it.  At least we are having a party.”

Grace: “Well, I hope you enjoy the hor d’ourves!  It’s five pieces of sushi I managed to find in the back of the fridge.  Now don’t you all go fighting over it.”Archie: “Oh fuck your weak ass whore d’ourves, Grace!  I brought some REAL fish here!  Guarenteed to put some real meat on your bones!  Eat MY fish or I’ll punch you in the face.”

Hope: “We will take your fish, and threats, with great care, Archie.”REALLY ANGUISH

YOU RUINED OUR PISSLESS WINNING STREAK!!  WHY!!  WE WERE DOING SO WELL FOR ONCE TOO

Hope: “So much for getting the family score out of the negative triple digits for once.”Anguish: “This isn’t my fault!  That Empty Monster Can!  It’s his fault!  He kicked me in the bladder the other day!  I can’t keep it in anymore!”

Uh huh.Anyway the party was jack shit bad.  They blamed the chairs for not being able to pick up gifts then proceeded to spend the party yelling at everyone else.

Reynaldo: “His head looks like a grape.”OH, so much for comfort, Pandemic.

Pandemic: *Eats snow*Trust: “YOU.”

Percy: “What, I ain’t even do shit this time.”

Reynaldo: “Hehe.  Bugs.”Reynaldo: “You broke her heart, you horrible little whelp!  You don’t even deserve a second chance from her if it were up to me!”

Percy: “Oh mind your damn business you piss goblin.”Pandemic: “….So, the party is over?”

The party never even really happened, Pandemic.  I’m sorry.Love: “Oh well, party was a bust, but surely prom won’t be!  Speaking of which, you ready to go, Percy?”Percy: “Sure am!  Got my suit pressed and ready to go!”

Love: “Suit?  Aw man, no, the prom is Northface themed.  Put your coat back on, I can’t have the cool kids see you with me looking like that.”

Oh of course.Avarice: “Oops!  I can’t go to prom.  Someone rang the doorbell!  I got to attend to that instead, make sure it’s nothing too important.”

REALLYReagan: “It’s just me.  I know it’s smack in the middle of the Christmas season but if I don’t get my Halloween candy I’m going to go feral.”

Anguish: “Do you think anyone would notice if I snuck my fursuit into prom when the adults aren’t looking?”So you really aren’t going to change out of your outerwear for prom huh?  Go figure.

Percy: “Maybe if the school actually turned the heat on in this place we wouldn’t have to worry about that kind of thing!”

Well I guess I can’t help it.  I never let my kids fix that busted ass boiler they keep going on about.Of course Percy had to go three for three.  All he needs to do is mack on Pandemic and Anguish and he’d have the full generation wrapped around his finger.Though I don’t think I have to worry too much about Anguish.

Ethan: “SHE’S DRESSED AS A GIANT FROG, HOW COME I’M THE JOKE HERE”At least Love looked like she had a good time.  If Percy grows up good, maybe, just maybe, they can be a lovely lasting couple.

Though at the rate Percy is going, he’s anything but good.

Chilling Grandpa

Metatron: “YOU CANNOT CORRUPT MY CHILDREN WITH YOUR SINFUL WAYS, HUMANS!”

Belial: “Noooo mama lemme go I want to do the bad things with the humans!  Please, I want to be a con artist.  It sounds so much fun!”Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh last chapter Anguish became a teenager and EvilGenius turned Alastor grew up into an adult cat.  Happiness has proven that he’s just getting worse and more rude with every playthrough, although Rage literally terrorized citizens in the city park with a spaceship laser and set my sims children on fire while they tried to sleep.  For someone not evil he’s slowly proving to be one of the most evil in his lineage.

Hope: “I like to drown out the accusations thrown at my family and the impending lawsuits against us with good music and a sweet kitten to pet.”

Ifrit: “I, too, enjoy a good burning of children, but the music is nice too I will grant you that.”Hope: “Hey, uh, you know if you want to improve your public image, Emelie, I’d best start with not standing outside in my underwear making those motions with your hands.  Just a thought.”

Emelie: “I’m not listening to a bloodbag that’s imbedded itself into our mailbox.  Go away.”Hope: “I get the feeling that I’ve come at a bad time.”

Ayden: “YOU THINK?”Emelie: “Cheers to another good year full of achievements, love, luck and family!”

Uh Percy’s Dad: “Uh, I don’t know about you but my last year was terrible.”

Emelie: “That’s why it was so good!”

Hope: “GUYS YOUR SINK HOLY SOUP”Hope: “Oh dear.  I didn’t realize it was Spooky day.  My mistake.”

Arron: “Damn baby.  Spit on me.”

Hope: “You’re hot but no.”The kids celebrate Spooky day by beating the shit out of the gnomes randomly, really Love?

Love: “Little villains smoked up all our Good Herbs!  I mean ate our good tomatoes.  Awh who am I kidding, I don’t know what a tomato is.”Avarice: “Yeah take that you teleport hopping porcelain punk!  We know what’s up!  Eat feet!”

Bathroom Hog: “I thought you two were the good ones in the family what in the ever loving hell”

Love: “This IS for the greater good of the family, mind your business”Easter Gnome: “Please kind gentlelady spare me, I’m the last of my people, you know, after you stomped all the rest of us to death.”

Love: “NEVER, PREPARE FOR THINE UGG BOOT”

Camp visitors: “Gee what a nice empty pasture”Trust: “Oh hey Percy!  Nice costume!  Can’t believe someone is actually trick or treating on the correct night for once.  If you give me a second, though, I can fix your ganked up haircut so your alopecia doesn’t show.”Trust: “Alright now look, I had nothing to do with the fact that your Halloween costume totally went AWOL, but dang lil daddy u cute”

Percy: “Thanks for the candy and thanks for the new look!  And for you…”Percy: “Muah”

EXCUSE ME? AM I MISSING SOMETHING HERE

Trust: “Oh Percy, I didn’t know you felt that way about me…”Suzette: “Oh.  Did Halloween get mixed up again?  I didn’t think we’d be swapping Valentine’s day with it this year.”

Fredrick: “Is this an awkward time to say I dressed up as her dad for the holiday or”Trust: “Is that a full sized snickers bar in your pocket or are you just happy to see me”

Percy: “ALL THE RAGING MALE HORMONES RUSH THROUGH MY BLOOD ALL AT ONCE”

Trust: “You sure about that?”Trust: “Oh dang.  And I worked so hard on that luxurious flowing mane too.”

Good job ruining a potentially romantic moment, Percy.Fredrick: “So um.  Trick or treat?  You’re not going to kiss me too right, I just want the full sized snicker bar too.”

Trust: “No because you’re racist.  Go away Fredrick.”

Fredrick: “What did I do”Suzette: “Thanks a LOT, Fredrick.  I didn’t want to take you trick or treating with me, but ooooh, mom said we had to spend “quality time” together.  This is bullshit.”

Fredrick: “WHAT DID I DO”Ugh.  Give it a rest already Happiness.

Happiness: “Oh look at me! I’m little Miss Mermaid, once my contacts come in the mail I’ll be the hottest beach chick by the slip ‘n slide, ooooh me~”

Trust: “That’s IT, Grandpa!”Trust: “They told me your mother was a literal angel how are you such a HORRIBLE MONSTER of a person?!”

Happiness: “Huh?  I’d like to think I’m a pretty ok guy…”

Trust: “You AREN’T!  You’re vile and rude and I can’t believe everyone in this family (well other thank Rage now) can even put up with your attitude with them!”Trust: “Oh, and while I’m on the subject, if I have to listen to you about your smug little obsession with your art again I’m going to go ballistic!  Your art SUCKS eggs, grandpa!  There, I said it!  You think you’re such a MaStEr Of ThE aRtS but you still paint on a first grade level!  It’s crap, grandpa!”

Happiness: “Oh, now you didn’t have to go there.  You’re a good kid, well, good enough, so you really need to act like it.”Trust: “Why should I be good to you?!  You’re not good to anyone in this household!  You’re not good at all!!  You’re just an out of date pop star that went irrelevant 80 years ago that now does nothing but plods around his great granddaughter’s house wasting canvas and oil paints on crap works of art!  Honestly I’m GLAD I’m not a good person because I’ve had it up to HERE with you and your bullying!”

FANTASTIC.  They absolutely despise each other now.Happiness: “Love?  You still awake?”

Love: “No.”

Happiness: “I was just thinking.  Do you think Trust will ever like me again?  I just like picking on her because it’s all in good fun, but surely she doesn’t take me that seriously, does she?”

Love: “Grandpa, please.  Make like a bird and buzz off.”

Happiness: “Hun you’re thinking about bees.”

Love: “I’m really not.”Empty Monster Can: “…The hell y’all lacin’ this bitch’s weed with?!”

Anguish: “Friendship ended with hotdog furry costume.  Frog furry costume is my friend now.”Avarice: “I don’t get it.  She’s mother’s favorite, and yet she’s more unhinged than anyone I’ve ever met.”

Pandemic: “I know right?  I tried to act like her the other day to win mom’s affection, but mom just tried to throw napalm in my eyes for it.  How come she can get away with it but we can’t?”

Anguish: “Have you ever tried to be immune to napalm?  Does wonders for me.  Also I can hear you two assholes through my Kermit head, don’t think I don’t notice shit.”Checking on the resort.  Norrin and Rian quit on us apparently.  Sadface.  At least we still have plenty of guests, even though I do question their IQ levels.

Ariel: “Gee I love getting my farmers tan on in a straight up downpour”Hope: “Oh wow Toaster sir.  You looking so handsome today.”

Toaster: “I’m sure you’re fucking with me but I do appreciate that if you’re sincere.”

Arron: “What the HELL, Hope!  I thought we had a connection going on!  We had matching outfits at the Spooky day party and everything!”Hope: “OH speaking of connections, since we are good friends and all?  Can I do a magical experiment on you for a second?  I promise it won’t hurt, and will wear off probably.  For science of course.”

Arron: “NO”

Toaster: *Instant snooze*Hope: “I see, I will have to note this down in my studies when I’m back in the lab.  Sorry for turning you into French cuisine, Arron.  It’ll wear off eventually I think.”

HotFrog: “RIBBFFNBIT?!?”

Toaster: *Dreams of soap*Toaster: “OOOOooh man, I’m instantly awake again because I JUST realized!  I lost soooo much weight you guys!  I haven’t felt this good or this spry in YEARS!  I’m so glad my diet is working, I feel so healthy and full of life now!”

Toaster then promptly went home and died in his living room I think 😦 RIP to an OG.Zoe: “Speaking of dying!  I never realized how good these ceiling lights look.”

Oh Zoe.  Not you too!  You’re going awfully quickly in my opinion!Anguish: “NOoooouuuu!  Mommmmieeeeee….”

Oh god that is the saddest frog I have ever seen in my life.

Zoe: “Thank god I’m dying.  The hell you people put in the water, I blame you assholes for how my kid keeps coming up.”Hope: “Wow that sucks.  Anyway, Trust you plan the funeral party for tomorrow or something, I have a party I need to oversee at the Velvet Lounge so later ok?”

Trust: “Um, sure?”

RIP Zoe.  You were snobby and for some reason, like Hetal before you, you didn’t give a shit about your own kids, but I’m sure they will miss you.Muriel: “Speaking of the woes of the cycle of life, it’s my birthday!  Weeee!  Who’s ready for puberty and possibly MORE kittens!”

I’d like to think they are all spayed and neutered.Metatron: “Couldn’t you wait another day or so?  We are all hurt over the death of a beloved one, we are in mourning right now!”

Muriel: “How can I say this but uh.  Nah.”Hope: “Oh forget the party, Krampus just brought the party to the house!  Congrats!”

Krampus: “Party?!  Where?!”It’s kinda odd that I think Krampus is my favorite of the litter just because he’s got a pudgy squish face for some reason.  Makes him distinctive from his twin siblings at least.

Krampus: “Damn straight.”Belial: “Now it’s my turn to strut my stuff!”

Yeah too many birthdays in rapid succession.  Tired already.Ifrit: “And now…. FOR ME!”

Belial: “Mmmm BOO HOO Zoe died”

Trust: “Oh how I’ll miss that wretched old bat”

Hope: *Wipes away sad tears for a person she never even talked to probably*

Ifrit: “Uh, guys?”Ifrit: “GUYS?  A little attention here please?!”

Belial: “Can it dude, you’re birthday is tomorrow, give it a break.”

Ifrit: “Tomorrow?!   Why?!  We’re TWINS, Belial!”

Yeah don’t ask me about that one.Archie: “Ugh, you’re nothing but skin and bones.  Eat a meal or three.  Put some fat on that body, girl!”

Sabrina: “Really don’t want dietary tips from you Archie, go away and stop ramming brain soup into my ribcage will you?”Never got this message before.  Figured you of all people would enjoy a good crowd, Pandemic.

Pandemic: “And to think, I could be back at the house watching cats age up instead.”Grace: “Oh no, Rage, Hope just came in and told me the bad news.  I’m so sorry Zoe is dead.”

Rage: “WHAT?  Zoe DIED?”

Grace: “Yeah!  Very tragic, very sad.  I’m sorry that happened to you my dude.”Rage: “Wait.  If my wife is dead… that means I’m single again… and now that I’m single, if… you want to go out with me some time…”Grace: “Oh.  Rage.  Oh.  No.”

Rage: “Oh.”
Hope: “Nothing like a flunking party to make me come home and appreciate how adorable my baby kitty cats are.”

Ifrit: “Go AWAY woman, can’t you see I’m trying to invoke some hormonal rage on this chair in here?!  Leave me and my mad alone.”Happiness: “Oh, so you want to talk smack about my ART, huh?!!”

Trust: “Grandpa that was like two days ago.”

Anguish: “Who’s talking smack about your art, Happiness!  I love your crayola scribblings!  I think they fuck.”

Hope: “Oh dear.”Avarice: “Whoa!  So fast his thoughts can’t even keep up!”

Trust: “Grandpa stop trying to freak me out!  I’m sensitive to abandoned thought bubbles as it is!”Hope: “That’s it, grandpa!  It’s time for you to… CHILL!”

Trust: “Yeah mama!  You show him!”

Happiness: “Wait, please I don’t want to be frozen in place!”Happiness: “What the crap was that!  That wasn’t even ice at all!”

Hope: “Did you see what I did there, Ifrit?  I made him think he was getting frozen in place then I cooked his clothes off.  Haha, me bad.”

Ifrit: “GO AWAY”Ifrit: “Oh look mom, a ghost.”

Metatron: “A GHOST WHERE?  AAAHHHH”

Alastor: “I’M NOT A GHOST GO AWAY”

Metatron: “AAAHHHH”

Alastor: “AAAHHHH”

Ifrit: “Hehe, I’m funny.”Alastor: “I don’t like you.”

Metatron: “I no care.”Pandemic: “Great.  The Loser Gang is in the house again.  I’m sure that means what I think it means.”

Reynaldo: “Loser Gang?  You mean your friends are somewhere in the house too?”

Tenisha: “Oh damn, good smackback.”Ok, so I’ll have a party for Trust.  Only because I love her so much.  She deserves cake.Trust: “If only my housemates could see my cake now!  I guess you can say… they would be GREEN with envy!”

… is that why you’re purple?

Trust: “No!  It’s because my pun has me tickled PINK!”

Sigh.Actually it’s because I used this lava lamp that’s been in catalog for as long as I can recall, but have never used.  Turns out this is what it does?  Turns people the color that I choose for it?  The hell kind of lamp would do that.

Trust: “Personally, I like the color that has been picked out for this lamp.  It… mauves me.”

Stop that.Avarice: “Why is everyone in this room turning purple?!  You all are on your owns because if y’all are choking, I never learned how to do CPR or anything.”

Suzette: “What are you even talking about.  YOU’RE just as purple as we are now.  If anything, you’re worse purple.”

Avarice: “WHAT”Trust: “Ok you know what, the purple turned out to be too much.  Later guys!  I’m canceling my party.  The color actually got too annoying with all the noise your skin is making.”

To be fair it is oddly loud when they change color but THANKS FOR WASTING THE CAKE, TRUST.Unsurprisingly, she grew up later on her own in her little basement room.

Trust: “Now THIS is the level of purple my eyes and ears can take!”No good trait for Trust.  Sob.  SOB.  She joins her mother in the Rebellious Gang.

Trust: “Avoiding that cake just to piss off the upper levels?  That was fun!  I want to keep doing that!”

Sigh.Trust only got cuter.  So, with Love 100% locked in as heiress, I can only hope she grows up to be just as adorable as her sister.

Love: “And I’m going to work on that.  As soon as I rig this unused chair we didn’t know we ever even owned.  I’m so funny.”Trust wants to be a master magician, but her mother wants her to join her in the science community, so Trust’s single use command was used joining her mother in her career.

Hope: “Who needs schooling when I can just sign you on in our biology department!  You’re an alien of course you’ll be a shoe-in immediately for hire once I recommend you to the higher ups!”

Trust: “What is a “chemy’s tree”?”Happiness: “All this talk of you going into science or magic, I swear.  You’re wasting potiential.  Art is really where the money is gonna come from for you.”

Trust: “Grandpa, don’t you have an aloe vera plant to roll around on?”

Major Burns

Hysteria: “Please don’t turn the stove on right now, I’m marinating.”

Last chapter we saw the usual birthday, this time for Avarice.  I also added a cat to the household because she wouldn’t leave and she suckerpunched me by giving birth to four more cats for a lovely total of six cats in the house.Pandemic: “Dad wants to spend some alone time with us for once and you bring along a cat?”

Avarice: “I didn’t want him to feel left out…”

Rage: *Chokes on wood*Rage: “Now that the boys are properly drunk and abandoned at the bar, hi I’m Rage and I want frwends for my career uwu”

Gator: “Oh, you’ve come looking at an odd time sir, we are about to start our weekly Werewolf Rehabilitation Meeting but you’re welcome to sit in on it if you’d like, but we’d have to charge you the visiting fee.”

Josh: “I’M CHARGING MR. GATOR SIR I’M DOING IT”

Gator: “NO JOSH I NOT CHARGING LIKE THAT oh pardon me I’m probably going to have to get an ice pack for his concussion now.”Pandemic: “Dad, Avarice passed out after two shots of tequila can we go home now?”

Rage: “In a minute son.  Dad just made friends with a werewolf and now we’re playing fetch with my wand now!”

Pandemic: “Um, how dad?  You stopped using your wand yesterday when you learned how to cast magic with your hands.  Mr. Gator is literally fetching nothing.”

Rage: “Don’t question me and go stomp on that broken umbrella fairy for me will you?  Put it out of it’s misery.  I’m getting tired of seeing those stupid things all over town.”Avarice: “Mmmpff POPS!  Look.  I made annn ughhhh… mmmm orange.  I’m a Harry, wizard.”

Pandemic: “Dad it’s not fair.  Even drunk he can cast magic and all I know how to do is subpar origami.  Why didn’t I inherit your skills as a warlock?!”

Rage: “Uh, I dunno.  Just, look.  Take my old wand, I don’t use it anymore anyway.  If you can get it to do anything for you it’s all yours.”While fetching his old wand out of his inventory, I discover that we can invade lots????

Rage: “WAAAAAAAAAAAAA I’m ordering a cannon off ebay as we speak”Rage: “Oh trust me I know how to install a military grade class A laser onto an interstellar travel class space ship!  I’ve seen Orthopox do it all the time!”

I don’t know, Rage.  Pretty sure standing IN the wall of the ship isn’t part of the step process.Oh ok.  So you’re just going to use magic and cheat your way into installing the cannons to the ship.  I see how it is.

Rage: *Really just hot gluing two magnets together to stick the cannon to the ship while I can’t see him*Violet: “Ah, what a lovely day to go prancing around in a PLAYBOY BUNNY COSTUME, wait, what’s that horrifying thing over there?”Rage: “No she’s right, what IS that horrifying thing over there”

Uh, as long as it’s not a game breaking glitch in progress it’s fine???Harley: “What, it’s just me, hanging out with my FRIENDS.  Can’t a homie just meld into his collection of people on a Sunday morning and not be judged?”

Rage: “GOD, that’s WORSE than what I’m about to do to this lot”Rage: “Moving on, HOLY SHIT, THE LASER CANNON REALLY WORKS”

Honestly??  I didn’t expect it to do a single thing so DAMNOH GOD THEY RUNNING

Gail: “PLEASE SOMEONE HELP, I DON’T WANT TO DIE”

Canteen worker: “Oh, if we are being attacked, that means I can just go home early, huh?”

LIKE HELL YOU ARE, YOU HAVEN’T WORKED A DAY IN ALMOST HALF A DECADE, GET YOUR ASS BACK TO THAT CONCESSION STANDRage: “HAHA, RUN, RUN AND HIDE LITTLE HUMANS, BWAHAHAH oh shit, I got to call my wife.  Happy anniversary honey!  I’m working late at the office today I’ll be home soon!  Yeah, yeah, I’ll pick up some milk on my way back, love you too~”Gail: “GAH!  He’s fried the photo booth!  Great.  Now how much everyone wants to bet the thing will bug out and not work right from here on out?”Gail: “Oh nevermind.  It was me he was aiming at.  Ouch that burns.”

The Laser can FRY PEOPLE?! OOOOOH this ship just gets better and better!Rage: “Haha!  Yes!  Run from me mere mortals!  Fear me!  Worship me!  Oh mother!  If only you could just see how evil I am now!”

Aw, he’s having the time of his life right now.  I’m so happy he’s found his calling in life.Meanwhile I see you, still, haven’t really gone home have you.  AND you’ve managed to dick up your own hot dog outfit.  I’m surprised.

Anguish: “Uhhhhh, it’s Uncle Wicked’s fault, yeah that’s it.”

Wicked: “I AIN’T EVEN ANYWHERE NEAR YOU YOU LITTLE SHIT”Awh no, not again. 

Not this time, Sabrina.  You had your chance last time and you remember what a bumbling failure that date was.Happiness: “Well too bad!  You accidentally clicked accept so I’m on my way to get some!”

Please don’t embarrass yourself this time.Happiness: “Oh Sabrina~”

Sabrina: “Oh Happiness, I knew I couldn’t stay away from you forever~!  Also, please ignore this random ass wardrobe change, I think I got a new job or something along those lines.”Happiness: “Before we get started on this date, I would just like to say, your giant foreheaded daughter is a total geeb!  Can’t believe a dork like her would even think of having a crush on Pandemic for any reason!”

Sabrina: “FUCK YOU HAPPINESS, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU’D STILL BE A COMPLETE ASSHOLE”Sabrina: “Hey how’s that busted ass GED coming along, since you’re about as uneducated as a pile of cat shit.”

Happiness: “Oh real clever, you know, I HAVE a diploma you know, somewhere in the remains of Hidden Springs.  I think.”Happiness: “Alrighty then baby, how about we get to the fun parts?”

Sabrina: “Eh, fuck off, dude.  I gave you a second chance, and you blow it and insult me in the first minute of being here?  Eat shit.  I hope I never rebound and make this mistake ever again.”Happiness: “At least this date wasn’t a total bust.  Look!  I figured out how the lights work in this place and got them working again finally!

Sabrina: “Should I be concerned that the tattoo chair isn’t in here at all either?  The fuck happened to my Ambitions expansion, it’s so half assed installed or something…”Sabrina: “Oh.  If you’re on your way back to the house, please let Rage know that Tuberculosis is still abandoned here.  He’s been pouting in this dump for two or three decades now I think.”

Rage: “I will totally let him know the next time I remember who Rage even is.”God, of COURSE that date was even worse than the last one.  Fuck you Happiness.  I will never let you honor that wish towards me.  You’re such a chode now.

Sabrina: “I didn’t even do anything to deserve any of that…”Hope: “Trust.  Why aren’t you on your way to school.  It’s almost ten in the morning.”

Trust: “Um.  Trust isn’t here right now!  I’m door.”Hope: “Do you think this is some happy go lucky fun party?!  TRUST.  We have been working our BUTTS off to ensure you get the honor roll in school and you’re FOOLING around for WHAT?!  If you even so much as think about touching that slip ‘n slide while playing hooky I will throw that whole thing in the garbage!”

Trust: “Please don’t kill Mr. Slippy!  It’s the only thing I have in life that makes me happy!”Hope: “Then go to school.”

Trust: “No.  I’m mad now.”

Hope: “TRUST.”

Zoe: “Yep.  Should have beat them when they were younger.  Here.  Take this bowl and smash it over her head for talking to you that way.  That’ll teach her.”And of course, Trust spent her day on the fucking slide.  During a field trip too.  There’s always at least one asshole that skips on a field trip day.  I think it’s a requirement at this point.There wasn’t anything real intresting about the field trip (usually isn’t) except for these two fighting outside the club cemetary at the time.Hey, Muriel?  You have no business being SO CUTE.AND?  THAT SMOL.

Muriel: “I just wuv’ widdle butterfwy frwends, they fwudder and fwy awound~”

Ugly ass Fridge: “HEEEe”Checking in on you, Anguish.  How’s life living at the school playground.

Anguish: “I miss my Empty Monster Can.  He could store so many chess pieces up his butt.  I try that here and all the other kids just fight me off.”

Um. Right.Trust: “Awh no.  A wild cake has appeared in the house!  We’ve gone back to that kind of diet again have we?”

Every now and then I feel the need to try to give you a good treat now and then.  Even though not everyone gets their own.  Just be happy for once, alright?It’s for Anguish anyway.  She’s lived in the jungle gym for the past couple of days I think she needs an incentive to come home sometimes.s Anguish: “GO GO GADGET NOODLE”

Jodie: “Hey mom!  It’s me, you’re other daughter!  Long time no see!  Dad told me you burnt up and went straight to hell when I was a baby!  But it gives my heart so much joy to know he was wrong!”

Zoe: “Didn’t ask, kid, go away, can’t you see I’m celebrating my child’s birthday?!”And here’s teenage Anguish!  She actually looks like a lot of fun, even though she’s still not evil.  She is a genius now though, of all things.  Lot of geniuses in this generation.

Zoe: “Wow, I’m already back to no longer interested.”

Jodie: “Congradulations, baby sister that I’m just now finding out exists!  I’m so happy for you!”Zoe: “And now you can take your happy ass right back out of my house and never contact me again.”

Jodie: “Please someone love me.”

Avarice: “I love you…”

Zoe: “And take his ass with you when you leave!”Tenisha: “Oh that’s great.  Two seconds into teenhood and Happiness has to show his ass.  I recognize that stance.”Happiness: “Oh you think you’re a genius now huh?  Living as a hot dog under in a sandbox behind a school give you some IQ points?  Finally bring you up from whatever bracket they label you insane kids as?”

Anguish: “Don’t you have a maid to cry to about getting your dick wet or something?”

Aw, look!  Somehow these two are bestest of best friends!  I love seeing people get along.Happiness: “Oh and your mom?  Total clod.  Absolute psycho.  No wonder you came out so wrong.”

Zoe: “Rage?”

Rage: “Yes dear.”

Zoe: “Kill him.”

Rage: “With pleasure.”Rage: “You BACK THE HELL OFF of talking to my daughter that way!!  And talking about my WIFE like that?!  Bitch you’re lucky you even still LIVE here if it were up to just me!”

Anguish: “Dad he was playing that’s how we play with each other lol”

Zoe: “Yassss Rage, throttle him, and when he disembowels you I will finally cash that life policy will I have on you, hehe”Happiness: “Don’t you know how to MIND your BUSINESS, dude?  Gosh.  None of you un-fun types can take a joke around here.”

Anguish: “Yeah dad you’re embarrassing me.  I’m embarrassed.”Rage: “Well… would it at least KILL you to not be so damn inappropriate all the time?  We’re getting really sick of your shit around here.”

Anguish: “I’m not.”

Happiness: “Um……….. how about…….”Happiness: “You take it and shove it up your RECTUM! I don’t have to listen to the likes of a wet flabby nosed punk like YOU!”

Rage: “OH YOU LEAVE MY NOSE OUT OF THIS, ASSHOLE”

Anguish: “Heh, I smell like an armpit.”Honestly I’m surprised an in-family fight hadn’t happened sooner.

Ifrit: “So… Zoe and Anguish went to do something else.  Do either of you guys want to hang out with me?  I could use some cuddles right now.”Happiness: “You HONESTLY thought you could DEFEAT ME?!  I MAXED out fitness YEARS ago, and just because I’m skinny don’t mean I can’t lay the whooping out on you, Rage!  I defeated your ancestors just as quickly as I defeated you!  Good will ALWAYS conquer over evil!”

Rage: “BUT YOU’RE NOT EVEN GOOD, YOU’RE JUST A RAGING ASSHOLE”

To be fair, I knew Rage wouldn’t stand a chance in hell against Happiness.  But I like to think I had an inkling of hope for him ;-;Love: “Hey, wouldn’t it be hilarious if WE decided to start dating each other or something?”

Pandemic: “Hmmmm, I’m gonna go on a limb and act like I didn’t hear a word you just said.”

Yes, please go one gen without that, ok?Rage: “Hello I’m here for services?”

Sabrina: “If you’re here for anything less than repairing my tv, I don’t think I require anything of you at 2 in the morning.”

Rage: “Bitch you’re the one that called me in the first place.”Gerald: “So um.  What are you here for anyway, Mr. Fallen, sir?”

Rage: “I am here to read your mother’s future, kid, as I am now a famous well reknowned psychic.”

Gerald: “Really now.  Because it sure looks like the second you stepped onto this lot, you lined up your queue with a lot of “fire blasting” commands all of a sudden.”

Rage: “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”Rage: “Oh wait, now I know what you’re talking about, kid!  Ha ha ha, FOOM”

I just thought he just wanted to get it out of his system.Then the camera had to take me over to Rosalinda, doing… I don’t know.  Thinking trashy thoughts in the bed?  Yeah maybe I don’t want to know what she’s doing here.OOOOOoooh, I see.  Rage is setting her on fire through her window while she has trashy dreams.  Because that makes TOTAL SENSE.Sabrina: “Oh for fucks sake, Rosalinda.  Don’t go to sleep while you’re clothes are on fire, you’re gonna mess up my bedsheets!”

Rosalinda: “Oops sorry mom.  I’ll go burn in the next room if that’s ok with you.”Rosalinda: “TRISTAN PLEASE!! PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT”

Tristan: “UM UM UM, I’M TRYING I’M TRYING, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO, I’M SCOOPING THE WATER OUT OF THE TOILET AS FAST AS I CAN BUT IT KEEPS RUNNING THROUGH MY FINGERS”

Rosalinda: “THEN FOR FUCKS SAKE MOVE AND I’LL JUST DUNK MY ASS INTO THE TOILET”Rosalinda: “MOOOOOOOM!  TRISTAN BROKE THE TOILET NOW THERE’S NO WATER!!  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY SAVE ME!!”

Sabrina: “Oh my God, can you keep it down in there?  I got work in the morning and I’m trying to at least get a nap in…”

Rosalinda: “AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH”
Luke: “I came as soon as I was summoned, but you guys seemed to have locked the front door and I can’t come in and help.”

Of course I would, you really think I would leave my doors unlocked while I slept?  That’s unsafe.Luke: “Well I googled how to enter a door, and honestly I’m at a loss for this kind of situation.  This is the hardest fire I’ve ever had to put out!”

Rosalinda: “I’M LITERALLY STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU DUDE, JUST HOSE ME DOWN FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST ON A CRACKER”Luke: “Oh good, you burned out on your own.  Now that’s lucky.  Good thing it didn’t spread.  Now don’t you just feel silly for panicking over nothing?”

Rosalinda: “Go die somewhere.”

Luke: “That’ll also be a $500 fine since there’s no fire on the lot.  Y’all have a good night now.”
Rosalinda: “This is the worst night of my life.  I almost died and I just realized I’m standing in front of the shower.  My mom was right.  I’m so embarassing.”

Sabrina: “El SNORE”Anyway, I go back to find where Rage has wondered off while all this was going on and find him SETTING MY SIM SON ON FIRE NOW

Rage: “Sabrina’s future has SUFFERING in it, bwahahaha!!”

Gerald: “Considering how much she gave a shit about my sister just now, you don’t read mom’s future all that well!”Gerald: “AHH, PAIN AND SHIT” *hits the shower like the smarter Timbley sibling he is*

Rosalinda: *Right back to her trashy dreams in her cooked sooty skin, whatever*Rage: “Now that I’ve fully fried your children and have your attention, can I read your fortune now?”

Sabrina: “Hard pass dude.  Now that all the sheets in my house have soot on them, I’m no longer interested in your services at all.  Jeez, all your dumb family have done to me lately is insult me, and I’m tired of it.”Sabrina: “But I will say, you sure looking like a snack in that suit~”

Rage: “The HELL is wrong with you, you scorned me, I scorn you, woman, get on with your weird ass.”

Needless to say, Sabrina didn’t get her fortune read today.Back at the house, EvilGenius, whom of which is now named Alastor to go with the rest of the cats and their name scheme, is finally having his birthday!

Happiness: “HAHA, you’re old.”

Alastor: “You’re fucking dumb, you know that dude?”Alastor: “Also fix your tv.”

Ugh, if I remember to.Alastor: “Nice, I fluffed out nicely.”

Krampus: “And good riddance!  Now I will be the baby of the family for everyone to coo and caw over!”

Yeah, you and your three other siblings. 

Just a Couple More Cats

Trust: “Maybe I should have looked before sitting down.  This chair is unnaturally damp.”

BEFORE I GET TO THE FALLENS, I just want to go off topic real quick.  So recently I attempted to reinstall my sims 2 neighborhoods into this new computer, long story short ended up having to get the files back out of the old computer, which is dead as anything dead can be by now.  Had someone who knew what they were doing save them for me but installing them is it’s own disorder.  Basically, the neighborhood isn’t working and I can’t figure out why and its UPSETTING ME, but I’m still trying everything I can before I lose hope.

However, while my game can’t recognize the neighborhood files, it can recognize the custom content files.  Files I’ve had for over a decade and I can’t barely remember what’s in those files.  And of course, within those files, we have

THIS.WHY, WHY WOULD I HAVE THIS

I’M BEING COMPLETELY HAUNTED BY HUGH HEFNER’S GHOST NOW THERE’S NO OTHER EXPLAINATION

I HAVE NO PURPOSE OR REASON TO EVEN HAVE THIS IN 2 WHY IS IT HERE

Test!Sabrina: “Did you have to crop my face out, was it that bad”Ugh anyway Love got a make over for her room since it’s only fair that if Trust gets one, she gets one too.

Pandemic and Avarice still sleep on the kitchen floor but that’s neither here or there.Avarice: “I’m just so happy to have such a good friend as you, EvilGenius!  I’ll always have you to hang out with and love.”

EvilGenius: “Please lemme take a shite”Here are the girls side by side.  They are both adorable in their own right, but I can’t help but have such a sweet spot in my heart for cute little Trust.

Trust: “That’s because I use the good shampoo and you’ve been wearing that waterlogged hat ever since you dug it out of dad’s old keepsake chest.”

Love: “Sigh, you’re right.  But dad would have been honored I carried on his love of all things western, right?”

Trust: “Oh trust me, I don’t think dad really knew all that much about human western culture even if he got mule kicked into the side of a barn.”Trust: “Now, we are off to school.  Off to my teenage drama life, where my soul is tormented by the love triangle my friends suffer through every day, over their feelings for Brad the quarterback.  But what about my feelings for Brad?  What about my teenage story, my tale of my youth?”

Anguish: “RAWR I’M FUCKIN’ BARNEY THE DINOSAUR”Oh and that cat is still in the house.

Zoe: “For the record, this isn’t a cat laser, it’s a government grade cutting laser, and the second the cat tries to smack it with a paw, that paw is coming off!  Heh heh.”

Majora: “Oh.  I see.  I think I’ll pass on this game then.”

Zoe: “OH COME ON IT’LL BE FUN”Archie: “Either of you foxy foxes want to share some space under my umbrella?  I got plenty of room under here for two…”

Suzette: “Um, I think I’m gonna have to give you a big fat no on that one dude…”

Love: “Oh don’t be rude, Suzette!  He’s showing us kindness, compassion, looking out for us and our well being.”

Suzette: “For fuck’s sake Love it’s not even RAINING.”Archie: “If you want to stand under the umbrella with me bitch you better keep up, I’m not waiting around on slow hoes like you.”

Love: “Please give me some time Archie, I’m not as fast as you, please!”Archie: “Yo bitch, this pull down guard doesn’t work on this ride!  Either fix your shit or you’ll be hearing from my lawyer, you understand me?!”

Love: “Archie, that’s not a pull bar, that’s just the closest thing we’ll ever get to keep us from smashing into the windshield when the bus driver has to stomp on the shoddy breaks.”

Archie: “Bitch I ain’t talking to you and didn’t ask!”

Driver: “Oh great.  One of these little asshole delinquents.” Suzette: “Hey loser, I’ve invited a friend over from school today.  How about you don’t be so damn weird around them for once?”

Fredrick: *Is too busy measuring something and being disappointed in himself* “Oh.”DISTRACTION TIME as I do.  Reagan is the newest in the clan and

AND

she is a VAMPIRE?  Which is how?

I dug in her family tree and literally the closest vampire on the tree is her great great grandfather Happiness.  So unless some asshole bit a baby, that is one hell of a recessive gene.Archie: “THE FUCK KIND OF TRASH PLACE YOU GOT HERE THAT DOESN’T SERVE PROPER SNACKS TO ME AT THE FRONT DOOR?!  I EXPLICTLY TOLD LOVE I NEED TWO MEAT LOVERS PIZZAS THE SECOND I GOT OFF SCHOOL AND YOU ASSHOLES DIDN’T LISTEN TO A WORD I SAID”

Avarice: “I do not vibe with this energy and will be taking my floor nap on the back porch now.”Pandemic: “DON’T FUCKIN’ INSULT MY HOUSE DUDE, WE DON’T GOT TO CATER TO A FAT ASSHOLE LIKE YOU.”

Archie: “OH YOU JUST WAIT, AS SOON AS MY WRIST POPS BACK INTO PLACE I’M GONNA BITCHSLAP YOU FROM HERE TO THE HOSPITAL.”Archie: “Anyway, at least my arms will work right when I got my drank on”

How does that not surprise me.Archie: “Awh.  That’s a shame.  The functionality only went as far as the blender.  Woe is the curse that is my life.”

You’re underaged anyway, go home asshole.Honestly at this point it wouldn’t surprise me if this thing caught fire on it’s own.

The world: *Decides to burn with it I guess*Pandemic: “Do you think this is a bad time to tell everyone that I just realized I don’t have a single magical trait in my body and I’m just a regular human?  I’m sad now.”

Hope: “Aw, that’s a shame.  I’ll have to have a proper talk to your father about neglecting to take care of that for you when you were younger.”Hope: “Oh well” *Magic farts the fire away*

Pandemic: “OH HELL THAT’S NASTY”

Zoe: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY HOT DOGS, YOU’RE TAINTING THEM WITH YOUR STANK”Then the game managed to start slogging down with some bugs, amazing.

Love: “Honestly, I don’t think it’s the computer, that thing still runs like a top.  I really think grandpa has managed to plague us with an honest-to-god Curse.”

Happiness: “Y’all need to dust the top of the fridge, it’s getting nasty up there.”Fixed that kinda.  And YOU’RE STILL HERE CAT.

Majora: “Um.  Hi.”

Do you just LIVE here now?

Majora: “Mmmmmmmprobably.”Love: “Don’t worry little baby, you’re still our number one fuzzy wuzzy in our life.”

EvilGenuis: “Yeah yeah.  I see you eyeing that add option. He’s been here like three days or so already, I know what you guys are thinking.”Happiness: “Looooooveeeee, youuuuu will doooo my biddinggggg and give me what I most desireeeeee~”Love: “Grandpa.  I hate to have to tell you but me and Trust have evolved a very complex frontal cortex that cannot be penetrated by your weak, human based supernatural brain waves, so you need to quit.  We aren’t going to break down and buy you any kids meal toys at McDonalds.  You don’t play with them longer than five minutes anyway.”

Happiness: “But… they released those cool Lego cars…”Rage: “I was told there were cool parrots up here to play with.  Why you ripping me off, Hope?”

I guess the birds are just invisible for life now.  Short of resetting the whole town for them, I can’t bring them back so, what can ya do.Death: “Oh awkward.  Were you needing to go to the bathroom too?”

Trust: “Uh it was a bad day to visit my cousins in general, huh…”Fredrick: “I’m sorry you had to see me in this form, Trust.  I will admit though if you can keep my secret.  Yes, all along it was me… I am the grim reaper.”

Trust: “Fredrick not right now, someone in the house is dying and I’m trying to make sure it’s not me.”Suzette: “Aw, our dog Cairo finally called it quits!  That hurts me so much!  I loved that dog so much.  He’s been my best friend growing up, with us through thick and thin.  My heart is so broken.  But we will feast like kings for a week.”

Trust: “I honestly think it’s time for me to go home now.”Reagan: “Oh, I was just thinking the same thing!  I went ahead and called your escort.  You’re welcome, thot.”

Trust: “I didn’t do anything to deserve this”Hope: “IT’S NOT THAT YOU STAYED OUT PAST CURFEW, that rebel stuff is tight, and I respect it, BUT YOU BROUGHT THE GHOST DOG HOME WITH YOU?!  NOW WE WILL NEVER GET RID OF THIS ONE!  I’M ALREADY STUCK PAYING EXTRA HOUSE TAXES ON THE EXTRA STRAY CAT!”

Trust: “Mom calm down, I don’t even think that’s the same dog!  I don’t think…  You know what, I don’t know.  I wouldn’t be surprised anymore, just ground me.”EvilGenius: “Yeah, this asshole isn’t going to leave my house is he.”

I guess not.  So whatever.  Add another cat to the household, what’s it to me?  Besides, Evil needs a friend, and what better friend than an older mentor cat to be buddies with him.Of course no sooner had I added him, or as I found out, her, the cat decided that it was time to HAVE BABIES IN THE KITCHEN

Anguish: “Oh good I was starving.”Oh good GOD, REALLY

FOUR?Majora, now named Metatron for theme purposes: “Don’t judge me and my conga line.  They perfect.”

I mean sure, but I’ve never had a litter this big before.  Usually I get one or two, I don’t think I’ve seen four in one go before, to be honest.

For names, the light colored one was given a good name, along with her mother, and she is Muriel.  Her siblings, down the line, can belong to Rage’s side, and they are Ifrit, Belial, and Krampus.Oh good.  I already know which one is going to be the crazy one.

Muriel: “Do not judge my brother, for he knows not what he does.”

Ifrit: “I DO KNOW WHAT I DOES, AND I DOES SEE ALL THE SINS OF HUMANITY.”Liam: “Wow!  Four kittens!  I will love them with my whole ethereal form!”

Eunice: “I will admit, they are so cute they melt what old crusty hardened heart I used to have.”

Hysteria: “Who the fuck am I standing inside of”Hope: “Oh, so when a cat gives birth on my floor, everyone plus their grandma has to come in and cheer for it but when I try to do it, it’s “NoOoOo HoPe, YoU’rE tRaCkInG pLaCeNtA aLL oVeR mY cLeAn FlOoR…”

To be fair, Hope.  They are kittens.I was nosey.  The father of the babies is the Shadow Peacock cat I mentioned once before I think.  I didn’t think I’d even see him ever again.

Shadow Peacock: “I sure Shadowed her with my Peacock if YANNO WAD’IM SAYIN HUEGHUEHUGHUEHGUE”

Metatron: “Was a lot better than Twink Man is all I’m gonna say.”Hope: “So I do believe I finally got town hall to acknowledge no one in this town wants to work and I think they are finally sending us someone to open this store for us, and no Rage, we aren’t adopting yet ANOTHER cat into the house.”

Rage: “But he’s so cute and little and I like to steal more cats from other people…”

Pandemic: “Wow, how did I get back here?  Am I the worker that runs this store now?  Will I finally get a paycheck so I don’t starve anymore?!  This is fantastic!!”Pandemic: “Wait, who’s this clown that just popped up out of the ground here?”

Rage: “Son, that’s the REAL store owner. Please get out from back here before she calls the cops on us and gets us booted before Hope can actually buy her stupid shit.”FINALLY.  The cashiers have been patched and the day has been saved.  The family then went to celebrate at the local park with hotdogs and family togetherness.

Love: “Wait, why are you here Bathroom Hog, I specifically left you behind at the house.”

Bathroom Hog: “Because I want in on these hot dogs and family togetherness!”

Love: “Hog, we aren’t even friends anymore.”Bathroom Hog: “Oh dang, there really are a lot of people in this park.  Too much togetherness if you ask me.”

Love: “Then literally LEAVE, you dweeb.”Anguish: “Haha, yes little ground umbrella go!  GO!  Haha that’s hilarious.  I’m so glad I stopped taking my medication for this!”

Every so often this annoying glitch rears its weird, ugly, head.  Sims just love being in the dirt I suppose.Toaster: “Now hold on tight to my belly fat, least you get slung off and launched to God knows where because I don’t have the gravitational pull that I used to.”

Denver: “Gee Uncle Toaster, thanks for taking me to the park today!  This will be so much fun!”Denver: “OH NO!  I’M SORRY UNCLE TOASTER!  LOOK OUT!!”

Toaster: “Remember me fondly.”

The resulting crash caused a quake that registered a 6.5 on the richter scale, that everyone from all the way to Starlight Shores felt that day.
Dayvid: “OH SHIT!! SOMEONE HELP!  I’M BEING CHASED BY A RABID ANGRY UMBRELLA!”

Anguish: “Oh.  Wow.  I see you haven’t been taking my medication either then.  Small world.”Branch: “Ok enough of that, it’s really hard to fly through the air when you have to tunnel through two feet of earth.”

Archie: “Alright, you bozos.  Apparently no one else knows what you are doing, so I’m going to show you how to do an ACTUAL two step hoe down up in this bitch.”

Gerald: “Um, Archie?  This is the skating rink.”

Archie: “~Gonna do da TWO STEP THEN COWBOY~then~DOSEEDO ON DA~boogie~”

Gerald: “You know what, I’m just gonna… let you do whatever it is you do…”Hope: “Apparently I’m so good at kicking goal scores that everyone has stopped playing with me.  Just that intimidated by my talent I suppose.”

Could also be the lack of PANTS, what, did you kick so hard that you kicked them OFF or something?!Belial: “Ah, serene peace I feel watching these fish filets swimming around.  One of these days I’ll be able to order off this menu.”EvilGenius: “Yeah but trust me, the family won’t let you cook them so I hope you like them raw.  Trust me, the fire place has already tried once before from what I’ve heard.”

Belial: “Then a sushi bar it shall become then!  I can’t wait!”Oh GOODIE!  You still have some uses after all, Happiness!

Happiness: “That actually hurts my feelings a bit.”

I didn’t say I cared.Trust: “Mom, I do believe the fridge has been locked again.  I cannot open it.”

Hope: “Well I see Rage hasn’t tried to lock it again for whatever reason he does sometimes, so I think it’s all in your head this time, kids.”

Avarice: “It’s not, I swear!  I’m so hungry I’m tempted to call CPS myself!  Please help, Hope, we beg you!”Hope: “Guys, this is the good, working, fridge.  There is nothing wrong with the computer we are running on, and I believe y’all are being dramatic.”

Trust: “I’m not, we are serious, mom!  I can’t get to the fridge because my own big butt is in the way!  Please!  I don’t want my fruit roll us getting TOO cold!”Congratulations you assholes.  Y’all get the ugly fridge now.  I have never used it before so now’s a better time as any to pawn it off on someone.

Trust: “Great.  Now I can never invite my friends over lest they see this monstrosity and never talk to me again.”Trust: “I still can’t get to the fridge, mom.  Please replace with Less Ugly.”

Hope: “Oh now I KNOW you are being dramatic!  For that I’m cooking dinner tonight and so you better be grateful for whatever tv dinner I pick out for you lazy tikes.”Hope: “Alright, so do you guys want the salisbury.png or the chickenandpeas.png?  I think we got a little bit of the purpledrank.png left so don’t you kids go fighting over it.”

Trust: “On second thought, can’t we just order a pizza…”Hope: “The kids are so finicky lately.  I threw a food party for them then.  I am very strategic.”

Gerald: “Yo Pandemic.  Go ahead dude, stick your finger in my turkey hole.  It’s funny as shit man.  I did it the whole ride here.”

Pandemic: “This plan sucks, Hope, I’m not touching anything these nasty people have brought in my house.  If you need me I’ll be outside starving in the yard.”Wicked: “~~*Hope*~~”

Hope: “Wicked please go eat some of weird Gerald’s turkey before it gets too cold and stop fawning over me.”

Branch: “Hope?”Branch: “Dearest Hope, I have brought you some beautiful flowers as a way of thanking you for always inviting me to your get togethers and for being the lovely flower that you are.”

Hope: “Oh BRANCH!  They are beautiful!  I will cherish them always!”

Wicked: “Why must you torture my heart so”Avarice: “So that’s cousin Elaine, huh.  Uncle Wicked’s daughter.  I see she has the cocked up eyebrows going on, so I assume she’s evil if that’s the case.”

Not that hard to even figure out.  Shame, of course, that Wicked was able to give out an evil heir that Rage could not.  Dissappointed.Pandemic: “Aw, don’t let our evil cousin get you down.  Your birthday is coming up in a little bit and maybe even you will become just as evil, and finally we will have one of us win over our mother’s love.”

Avarice: “I’m literally good you silly bean, but I do appreciate your optimism I guess.”Pandemic: “Dude I’m serious!  You got to be more optimistic than even that!  You never know!  Maybe you’ll bug out and become the first good AND evil sim ever and mom will have no choice but to love you anyway!  And you’ll be so handsome and so cool for it, and the local bitches won’t have any idea what to do with you!”Rosalinda: “Cool dude.  Telling your brother all about how to handle the “local bitches”.  Really looks good to us “local bitches”.  Let me tell you.  I’m totally fawning over here over you guys.”

Pandemic: “OH SHIT!  Rosalinda!  I uh, see, uh… oh fuck it, I’m glad this is vodka.”And so the party ended and Avarice grew up downstairs after everyone called it a night and went to bed.  Sorry little dude.Hopelessly he is a bookworm.  And he looks like such a nice, sweet, innocent version of his dad.  Poor thing.

Baal Lookalike: “Do I also live here now?”

NO, no more animals this generation!  I’m already stuffed in this house as it is!

EvilGenius

Rebeka: “I am the ghost of your Christmas Future, Zoe.  And if you don’t change your ways soon, your children will leave you alone and cold in the bottom of the biggest dump of a nursing home this side of Twinbrook for the remainder of your Christmases to come.”

Zoe: “Fuck I really over did it with the paint thinner again, didn’t I… I really got to stop huffing before dinner.”

Last chapter we saw Anguish grow up into a hot dog, much to her mother’s displeasure of all things.  Trust had a boring prom and Hope discovered some cool shit at the pet store that we can’t access because the cash registers are all broken.  So she stole their display parrots and named them Angel and Archangel and they now live at the foot of her bed.Hope: “I also went back and stole all their gerbils and snakes.  What good is it if I just chose a couple of nature’s most blessed creatures to survive the store being abandoned?”

A fair point, even though you can’t afford to get tanks for them all right now.  Hope you don’t mind them living in your pockets together at this time.

Olivia: “Oh Rodrigo:~”

Rodrigo: “Oh AUNT Olivia, NO”Hope: “That being said, I REALLY want that fancy pet bed, along with other things.  I think, and this may not work, but, I am going to adopt a pet and see if that will trigger a cashier into getting hired for this place so I can buy stuff.  What do you think, Mr. Snakie?”

I don’t think Mr. Snakie can hear you Hope, you have appeared to have TWISTED HIS NECK SHUTHMMMMM.Perfect.Hope: “Oof, the shelter worker just hurled you out the window as they drove by, didn’t they?  You alright there, mate?”

EvilGenius: “I am but a little boy”A cute, albeit plain white kitten.  That gaze though looks promising.

EvilGenius: “I will eat your eyeballs in your sleep.”

Hope: “Well yeah that’s just what normal cats do anyway, so…”
I added a few features to the riverside campsite.  Say hello Norris.

Norris: “Do not change me into some grotesque being for the love of all that is holy I like being a boring face one employee”Norris: “What did I just say”

Oh chill, Rian needed someone he can relate to and be friends with at work.Pandemic: “The puberty, it calls to me, it tells me to become noodle”

Happiness: “So we really aren’t giving a crap about anyone having birthdays anymore huh”

This one is intentional, I’m partied and birthday’d out, can y’all just have your age ups without a cake for once pleaseRage: “My SON, my BOY, my baby bundle of happiness and joy in life-”

Pandemic: “Dad I hate kids”

Trust: “Haha don’t we all”It’s actually kinda scary how much Pandemic turned out to look like a really old ex of mine, just with a larger nose.  That’s so unfortunate.  Fuck that guy.

Rage: “YEAH FUCK OFF”

Rage that’s your son, noRage: “Looking at you, darling son, has filled me with a want that I wish to do now.”

Pandemic: “Oh cool, you gonna teach me to drive now?”

Rage: “Oh hell no, I’m going to go discover a star and name it after myself.”And then so he did.

Rage: “My name will live on for the rest of human existance!”

To be fair it’s a hard word to erase out of any human language in the first place…Zoe: “Fuck this candlebra let me cuss it out for all it’s worth”

I can’t say I’ve seen a lot of old people harass other people but to harass inanimate objects, Zoe?  You’re just on a whole ‘nother level of cranky old bitch.Archie, Angel, and Anguish too why not: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH”

Hope: “There wasn’t enough alcohol at this bar to block out the noise these guys make, all day and night.”

That’s just them showing you how much they appreciate you caring enough to rescue them!  Except Anguish, I can’t help what she does.Hope: “Anyway.  GRANDPA NO”

Happiness: “Grandpa sleepy.  Grandpa nap nap.”

Hope: “Then GO HOME to your OWN BED GRANDPA”Hope: “Thank you for letting me bunk with you while grandpa shows his butt, Trust.  I’ll reward you in the morning by taking to you Bojangles.”

Trust: “Zzmmffpppfft”Trust: “Zzzzfff lights, lights, lights, lights, lights, lights, lights”

Hope: “mmffhpzzfmm, I’m about to knock a homie out if they don’t turn that light back off…”

Orthopox: “Am I the only one concerned about the fetus my daughter has in a jar under her night stand?!?”
Orthopox: “I just wanted to come back and check on my family.  I still love and care for them and will watch over them always.”

Trust: “Mmm thanks for turning out the lights dad, you’re the best, SNORE”Hope: “Said I’m not allowed to use the fish tank as a toilet anymore, but what she don’t know won’t hurt her.”

Goldfish: “PLEASE GOD NO”Hey young man, where do you think you’re going with that vodka, you’re like 14.

Pandemic: “Into the wall, clearly.”

Well put that alcohol down, you’re too young.Pandemic: “Fuck you too then.”

Very mature.Pandemic: “Oh I just realized you have a really uniquely colored IF, Love.  I don’t recall the last time I’ve seen that color on one in a while.”

Love: “Don’t be IF racist and what are you doing reading my thoughts, that’s creepy.”

Pandemic: “I can’t help I actually inherited the ability to read minds that my dad actually didn’t get.”Love: “Oh and speaking of, who told you to go ahead and hit puberty, Hog?”

Bathroom Hog: “Can’t a MAN watch a little adulterated sexy tellytubby knock offs and discover the “joys of life” while everyone else in the house sleeps?!  God, so judgy!!”

Love: “That is NOT anything I asked about or wanted to know.”Anguish: “Ah well I ONCE AGAIN got banned from going near the fish tank for a week.  Anyway, would you like to go for your daily swim, buddy!?”Empty Monster Can: “Omifuckingaw bruh, I hadda grow up jus’ so I could giddaway’ from that crazy ass bitch!!  Fuckin’ dunkin’ me inna toilet like that ‘n swirlin’ me around lika’ scrubber cleaner, th’fuck she on?!”

Love: “…so like, I got waffles”Rage: “DAMN LIL SINGLE MAMA LET ME SLAP IT”

Hope: “How about I slap you”

Zoe: “YEAH fuck my idiot husband UP”Rage: “If Hope can’t appreciate a little lighthearted flirting then I will shove her beloved dragon she never really met into this claw machine.  That’ll show her.”

Ramiel: “Oh so HERE’S where I’ve been since Hetal died.  Oh thank God I actually thought she flushed me down the toilet after all that time.”Happiness: “Trust, I have to tell you something… as my best friend in the whole world.  My confidant.  My beloved descendant.  Truth is… I’ve been a vampire this whole time.”

Trust: “Grandpa.  Everyone knows that.  You’ve been over 200 years old with the boy band complexion long enough for any idiot to realize at this point.”Happiness: “Yeah I’ve learned to cope with my condition really well.  I realized over the years that I REALLY love to paint.  Really takes the anxieties away, you know?”

Trust: “Um.  Sure grandpa.  Whatever you say.”Jin: “I brought a turkey because I know how dry and stale your birds are every Thanksgiving dinner.”

Hope: “It’s June the 2nd but I’m just happy you finally dressed into something sensible for once in your life.”Dianna: “Don’t you dare heartfart over that idiot vampire shithead I swear to god-”

Tenisha: “MMMM HAPPINESS, TAKE ME YOU PIECE OF MAN MEAT”

Lana: “So like my grandma told me horror stories about you all and she said she was never happier to be disowned like she was and I see why.”It took me a second to recognize Lana’s face.  For a second with that lip I thought I had somehow misplaced some love child I didn’t remember Hysteria ever having, but going through her tree, I found out that this is Cruelty’s granddaughter!  Not sure where the lip came from because she didn’t have it and her parents or grandpa don’t have it so I wonder if a hidden recessive Jada throwback is even possible at this point.

Lana: “Didn’t ask for a back story I’m just here for my trick or treat candy.”

It’s NOT Halloween you eggheads, it’s not even FALL.Jin: “I have finally been allowed to sit in the rocker, and the age old curse has finally been lifted!  My ass is sated, and I’m allowed to finally die.”

I swear sims just wait until my parties to kick the bucket.  And I wonder just how long Jin had waited on this one as well.Wicked: “Grandma, noooo, you didn’t know me well enough to put me on your will for your secret estate”

Zoe: “Damn, I huffed too much paint thinner again, that Christmas ghost snuck back in the house again”

EvilGenius: “I’m still here?  LOL”Pandemic: “No great grandma why did you have to die, and why did I have to become suddenly horny for Rosalinda now”Rosalinda: “Ew, dude trying to mack on me while his great grandma is taking her dying breaths?!  Forget this, I’m leaving.  Stupid hot guy.”Suzette: “Shame about your grandma but my dad said you’re all results of some imbred genie/witch experiment so TRICK OR TREAT”

Rage: “Can’t you wait until I finish removing granny’s corpse from my kid’s bedroom before spouting off stupid shit”OOH, Agony’s line just gets prettier and prettier.

Suzette: “What can I say.  MY grandma didn’t settle for us to fail after SHE was disowned and thrown out, unlike yours and Lana’s line.”

Rage: “Alright that’s it I’m about to egg and toilet paper YOU off my porch”Love: “Since I don’t get a birthday because cakes are soooooo boring, I’ve decided to age up under the cover of night, just so you don’t have a good light to see my new features!  Oh do I live for little microaggressions!”

Thanks a lot for that.Love: *Honky Tonks her way into puberty*

Bathroom Hog: “Really?  Why did it have to be so easy for her but I ended up crying on the floor for three hours when I hit puberty…”Under some proper light, we now have Love, who is now a great kisser.  I won’t ask how we came to that conclusion.

Love: “Well I have come to the conclusion that we have another cat now?  Did I get a birthday present?”

Sorry no, that one showed up at the party earlier and won’t leave.  Didn’t even belong to anyone that was invited.  Shoo cat.Happiness: “No I do not approve.”

Love: “MOM, GRANDPA IS BEING A JERKHOLE AGAIN”

Hope from the toilet: “HAPPINESS GO SLEEP OUTSIDE”Happiness: “I don’t want to sleep out here!  There are werewolf ghosts out here that want to eat me!”

Marlena: “Nonsense, all she wants to eat is waffles and burnt teriyaki chicken.  She makes a great fridge cleaner.”

Alex: “LET ME IN I SMELL salad”Love: “Oh.  The parrots are invisible now.  That’s FANtastic.”

Better than dead already.Happiness: “Oh baby babayyy~”

Zoe: “Do not fucking TOUCH”
Zoe: “You are fucking DISGUSTING, DISRESPECTFUL, and if you keep this shit up you are going to be DEAD because if you try that shit again I’m going to take this cane and jam it through your undead stupid little heart!”gHappiness: “God, that woman has to be a real firecracker, doesn’t she…”

Trust: “Zzzmmn Grandpa you’re not invited”Ending the chapter with some bad news.  Got this message on a busted opportunity I couldn’t fulfill because nothing I did to the radio was good enough apparently, so I used it as a gage for whether or not she was still alive…And finally, Veronica, who vastly out-survived her husband in old human age, passed away and now joins Nascar in redneck robot heaven.  They had no children, and their house was instantly scooped up by my simself, her kids, and her vampire boyfriend.

Hot Diggity Dog

Rage: “I don’t really know who all I know, but to be honest, whoever I feel is in the Void of Inconceivable Hellfire, I feel the need to express my interest to them in written word.”

Considering Rage doesn’t know a lot of people, I’m pretty sure that mess is supposed to be Wilhelmina, his new best friend he made last chapter.  Trust also grew up and she is *Chef’s kiss* adorable.  The family also went down to the river next to their home lot and turned it into a campsite resort, which is already mildly successful much to my own surprise.Hope: “And due to our well earned success, I think it’s time for a beach party!”

Too bad the game won’t let me have a party at my OWN FRIGGIN’ RESORT LOT for whatever reason, so no beach party.  At least not here at least.

Hope: “Thennnnn I’ll have one at the other house.  That one at least has a pool for another attempt at a pool party.”Happiness: “And then she threw a Gift Giving party instead.”

Sabrina: “Oh of course, it’s the middle of summer, but since Halloween happened last Snowflake day we got to play a bit of catch up.”Hope: “And of course, all places in the house, all open areas that we have in this house, and you set us up in my grandpa’s bedroom?”

Branch: “I got nervous and didn’t want to get caught up in that crowd.  Sorry.”Sabrina: “I’ll be your door today.”

Hope: “Well you’re doing a miserable job!  No one can get in!”

Happiness: “You’re ruining Christmas.”

Sabrina: “You deserve to have it ruined.”Happiness: “Wait, this doesn’t feel like the Pissy Shitty Diarrhea Dolphin Doll I asked Santa for this year.  This feels like it weighs like a lump of coal.”

Sabrina: “Well can you blame Santa?  You’ve been an absolute little shit all year.”
Happiness: “Nah I think I’ll just trade over and open Hope’s present instead.  Oh wow, sexy lingerie from Vickie’s Secret!  Well now that you’re a newly single woman I guess you won’t be needing this any time soon, Hope!  Ah well, it’s much better than a little boring rock.”

Hope: “Grandpa how could you.”

Sabrina: “Hm.  I hope Santa brought me a new arm.”Avarice: “I hope I got something good this year!  Like some snack cakes!  Or a fruit bar!”

Happiness: “I have been put in time out.”

Hope: “And you stay there for the rest of the party too.”Avarice: “Aw man!  I can’t eat a bicycle!  Please someone, I’m so hungry over here.”Avarice: “I traded Pandemic my bike for his present.  SURELY he got cupcakes?  Aw.  It’s just anime DVDs.  And I don’t think “2011’s Greatest Hentai Hits” was exactly a good idea as a gift, Mr. Happiness.”

Pandemic: “Happiness, sir?  What the living fuck.”

Happiness: “Aw, you kiddies with your cute little asian cartoon shows and your ani-mangos.  I got a good deal on those at the flea market so I hope you enjoy them!”Carmen: “Oops I farted and sharted.”

Happiness: “Why is my butt getting wet all of a sudden”Wilhelmina: “OH GOD YEAH PARTY’S OVER AAAAAHH” *Destroys Branch’s kneecaps*

Pandemic: “Oh wow dad, did Mr. Happiness get a slip ‘n slide in his room for Christmas?”

Happiness: “AJDKLAFJDSKLA”Zoe: “Ah, Rage.  I’m so glad you brought me out to stargaze with you.  The porch roof looks amazing tonight.”

Rage: “And I’m just glad you finally took a bath my love.”Then Rage had to run back over to do this to Wilhelmina, pushing that boundary AWFULLY hard aren’t you.

Rage: “Who’s a good best friend in the whole wide world, it’s YOU, yes you ARE~”Rage: “Who loves a widdle scritch behind the ears?  Awww it’s youuuu!”

Wilhelmina: *Drools a bit on Rage’s hands*

Rage: “Damn you is a weird ass hoe.”Rage: “OOF I just got a notification that it’s your birthday today baby girl!  And we are NO WHERE near done with your skills!  Let’s get crackin’!”

Anguish: “You mean I DON’T got to sit around and shit myself for the rest of my life?  Now there’s a concept.”Sabrina: “Sure golly I sure love these cute 80 year old butterflies”

Mmm, my simself is here?  That can only mean ONE THING!!!!BIIIIIRRRRTHHHHHHDAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHTenisha: “Wow, y’all dressed so boringly.  What kind of swingers club is this supposed to be?”

Sabrina: “You got to be kidding me.”Tenisha: “Wait, this is a kid’s birthday party…oh, no, I must have grabbed Suzy’s invitation by mistake.  But if I have her invitation for here… who has my invitation to the orgy?”

Sabrina: “Yeah I think it’s time to go home already.”Rage: “Skilled up just in time!  I know I don’t have a wish for you to be a genius, but if you become evil for mine and your mother’s sake, I’ll never ask for anything else again.”Love: “Hey, Mr. Rage, we got to raincheck on the birthday!  I turned on the fireplace for some added ambiance and I DON’T WANT TO DIE”

Oh there you are, Love.  Good to see you coming out of the woodwork to do absolutely nothing helpful.Zoe: “I vote we should give the fire free range of the house.”

Trust: “Good thing it didn’t spread fast enough to reach this stinking toilet.  Could you imagine what would happen if the fumes ignited?  Personally, I like living here.”Rage: “Thanks a lot you guys!  I love wasting money on a whole ass cake.”

It wouldn’t be the first time.Ah well.  Anguish, do your thang.

Anguish: “My armpit smells like glitter!”

Anguish grew up to have a good sense of humor.  So ya’nno.  There’s that.  No evilness yet.  But of course she’s insane soHow lovely.

Anguish: “I may or may not be naked under this hot dog, daddy~”

Rage: “Um.”Hm.  OH YEAH.  I got rid of Trust’s bed.  Because I thought she didn’t need to sleep any more like her dad did.  I guess she does.

Rage: “Oh no one told me it was nap time!  Mmm, lemme join in on this!  Zzzzfffmm…”Trust: “Sitting by the waterside helps me calm my mind and do my homework.  Nothing like the trickling of gentle water to get the brain going.”

Excuses.  You’re about to give up and just jump on the slip n’ slide.

Trust: “Aw, you know me so well.”Rage: “I’m starting to think owning a fireplace isn’t a good idea.”

Why, no one ever used it in years, it hadn’t been a problem up until today…Rage: “Also why are you using that old archaic thing, just put it out with an ice blast, its so much more efficient that way.”

Wicked: “Don’t tell me what to do nerd!”

Rage: “WELL DON’T BLAST ME IN THE FACE FOR IT!”Anyway back to what I was trying to fix in the first place.  Alex’s old cage wasn’t being used any time soon so it was refurbished into a room for Trust.  Fitting for a teenage alien!Honestly it looks very cozy up in here. New favorite room in the house.

As if I had a favorite to begin with in this dumpster.Avarice: “Do you think I can grow up to be a magical and just wiccan like you, Hope?”

Hope: “Anything can be possible, as long as you believe in the power of  *✧･ﾟ:* magic and kindness and love *:･ﾟ✧*~”

Avarice: “Oh.  Mom says I’m not allowed to believe in those things or she said she’ll write me out of the will.”

Hope: “Well then just get a dollar wand at the Family Tree next time you go by there, it works just as well as all those things.”Zoe: “So I have decided that since my last child is also aiming for failure, I just cash in the life insurance money and make for Tahiti!  Hehe, brilliant escape plan if I do say so myself.”

Hetal: “Do with what you will, I had no children and lived my life just fine without them.”

Rage from the kitchen: “Cry”Zoe: “Go ahead sweetie!  Take a nice refreshing dip in the fish tank!  You know you want to!  Everyone else does it at least once or twice in their lifetime anyway!  I promise I won’t hold your head down under there or anything.  Or maybe I will!  Better to help you commune with our pet jellyfish, my dear!”Anguish: “Hard pass, mom.  I don’t feel like getting wet and I’d just get chaffed if I had to walk around here with soggy buns.”Anguish: “Haha, get it?  Soggy buns?  Because I’m a hot dog.  Oh man.  I kill myself some times.”

Zoe: “Eugh, times like this I wish you did.”Who could have possibly foreseen Zoe giving up on this child as well.

Zoe: “The fuck you on about, I’m VERY family oriented!  How could you doubt me.”Zoe: “As for you.  SKIPPING SCHOOL.  I new you little ditzes would screw up eventually!  All the hard work that we put in to make sure you kids would get straight A’s and actually give us some positive points in this legacy and you have to go and FUCK IT UP to play on a SLIP ‘N SLIDE.”

Trust: “Whoa wait, don’t break the fourth wall over this!”

No she’s right and I actually agree with Zoe over this, TRUST HOW COULD YOUTrust: “The world is so mean and cruel to me!  SOOOB!  Oh slip n’ slide friend!  You’re the only one that’s really there for me!”Trust: “BOOHOOHOOO WAAHHH”

The game has never worked so well in the entire existence of me having it so you have NO EXCUSES, TRUST!!  NONE!Trust: “So I was informed that we were having prom all of a sudden and on my way out, I got so distracted by the fact that Zoe has some weird bedside supplies in here that I forgot what I was doing.  What a weirdo.”

SIGH.  I guess I can cash my chips in and use your one command to make you go.  Because GO.Trust: “Who needs a cool, fancy limo , or even our UFO, when I can go to prom on the family Dyson?  My friends are going to think I’m so cool.”

I’m starting to think hers and her sister’s genius traits are bootleg.Anguish: “Hee hee hee, looks like you found me!  You get one wish, but think it through, it may be a wish that will turn out bad for you!”

No one was looking for you, you weird little shit, go home.Dayvid: “Hmmm, no sleepy damsels out here needing a kiss from a prince to wake them up this time.”

Don’t you have a tanning booth to fall asleep in?The prom wasn’t that intresting for me so I followed Hope down to this pet store I added, that I didn’t even know I ever had, and found some very interesting things in it.

Such as this GLORIOUS PET BED.  It’s not in my other pet related files in buy mode and I MUST HAVE IT.And also?  An exclusive bone shaped rug?  A turtleshell pet bed?  What I believe is an exclusive painting as well??  I MUST HAVE.

Surely this stuff is exclusive to this shop, so I must buy the items!!Hope: “It’s a darn shame that the owner of the shop doesn’t appear to appear to be here.  And it’s not that late at night so I guess it’s dead like those consignment stores they have everywhere else in town.

NO, this bullshit no cashier glitch AGAIN?!  I don’t understand why only the potions shop remains unaffected but everywhere else is just a dead store!Hope: “Ok, I’m pretty sure the store owner is never returning back here again then.  These poor animals are going to starve to death if I don’t put them in my pocket and take them home with me.”

That’s called stealing.

Hope: “It’s sneakily rescuing.”

If you want to call it that.Hope: “I came back home to find the fish playing with matches?  I think me and Rage established that no one, no even you guys, are supposed to touch the fireplace anymore.”

Fish: *Have already cooked into filets and vanished for whatever reason*Hope: “Oh gingersnaps I left my wand in the car!  Stella, please tell me, am I even holding this machine right or am I supposed to spray it on myself like I’ve seen other people do before?”Zoe: “I sense the burning sensation of destruction and came as soon as I could.”

Hope: “Oh for lobsters sake not you right now.”Zoe: “Look all I’m saying is fire is a dear friend of mine and any friend of mine is a friend of yours!  Go, hug your new found friend, you stupid blonde maid woman!”

Stella: “What can I say I do love newfound friends”

Hope:”No you two”Hope: “Ok now that my family is safe, you two can settle down and enjoy your new home!  I hope you play nicely because the room is tight and you will have to share a display here.”

I know this isn’t going to work for long without them starving to death as well but putting the displays together is actually really pleasing.  And they can be best friends when they are together like this!And look!  They are even on the food bag under the  display!  This friendship was meant to be!

Archangel: “I’M GOING TO EAT YOUR FACE OFF”

Angel: “TRY ME YOU GREEN PINT SIZED CHICKEN NUGGET”