EvilGenius

1Rebeka: “I am the ghost of your Christmas Future, Zoe.  And if you don’t change your ways soon, your children will leave you alone and cold in the bottom of the biggest dump of a nursing home this side of Twinbrook for the remainder of your Christmases to come.”

Zoe: “Fuck I really over did it with the paint thinner again, didn’t I… I really got to stop huffing before dinner.”

Last chapter we saw Anguish grow up into a hot dog, much to her mother’s displeasure of all things.  Trust had a boring prom and Hope discovered some cool shit at the pet store that we can’t access because the cash registers are all broken.  So she stole their display parrots and named them Angel and Archangel and they now live at the foot of her bed.2Hope: “I also went back and stole all their gerbils and snakes.  What good is it if I just chose a couple of nature’s most blessed creatures to survive the store being abandoned?”

A fair point, even though you can’t afford to get tanks for them all right now.  Hope you don’t mind them living in your pockets together at this time.

Olivia: “Oh Rodrigo:~”

Rodrigo: “Oh AUNT Olivia, NO”3Hope: “That being said, I REALLY want that fancy pet bed, along with other things.  I think, and this may not work, but, I am going to adopt a pet and see if that will trigger a cashier into getting hired for this place so I can buy stuff.  What do you think, Mr. Snakie?”

I don’t think Mr. Snakie can hear you Hope, you have appeared to have TWISTED HIS NECK SHUT4HMMMMM.5Perfect.6Hope: “Oof, the shelter worker just hurled you out the window as they drove by, didn’t they?  You alright there, mate?”

EvilGenius: “I am but a little boy”7A cute, albeit plain white kitten.  That gaze though looks promising.

EvilGenius: “I will eat your eyeballs in your sleep.”

Hope: “Well yeah that’s just what normal cats do anyway, so…”
8I added a few features to the riverside campsite.  Say hello Norris.

Norris: “Do not change me into some grotesque being for the love of all that is holy I like being a boring face one employee”9Norris: “What did I just say”

Oh chill, Rian needed someone he can relate to and be friends with at work.10Pandemic: “The puberty, it calls to me, it tells me to become noodle”

Happiness: “So we really aren’t giving a crap about anyone having birthdays anymore huh”

This one is intentional, I’m partied and birthday’d out, can y’all just have your age ups without a cake for once please11Rage: “My SON, my BOY, my baby bundle of happiness and joy in life-”

Pandemic: “Dad I hate kids”

Trust: “Haha don’t we all”12It’s actually kinda scary how much Pandemic turned out to look like a really old ex of mine, just with a larger nose.  That’s so unfortunate.  Fuck that guy.

Rage: “YEAH FUCK OFF”

Rage that’s your son, no13Rage: “Looking at you, darling son, has filled me with a want that I wish to do now.”

Pandemic: “Oh cool, you gonna teach me to drive now?”

Rage: “Oh hell no, I’m going to go discover a star and name it after myself.”14And then so he did.

Rage: “My name will live on for the rest of human existance!”

To be fair it’s a hard word to erase out of any human language in the first place…15Zoe: “Fuck this candlebra let me cuss it out for all it’s worth”

I can’t say I’ve seen a lot of old people harass other people but to harass inanimate objects, Zoe?  You’re just on a whole ‘nother level of cranky old bitch.16Archie, Angel, and Anguish too why not: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH”

Hope: “There wasn’t enough alcohol at this bar to block out the noise these guys make, all day and night.”

That’s just them showing you how much they appreciate you caring enough to rescue them!  Except Anguish, I can’t help what she does.17Hope: “Anyway.  GRANDPA NO”

Happiness: “Grandpa sleepy.  Grandpa nap nap.”

Hope: “Then GO HOME to your OWN BED GRANDPA”18Hope: “Thank you for letting me bunk with you while grandpa shows his butt, Trust.  I’ll reward you in the morning by taking to you Bojangles.”

Trust: “Zzmmffpppfft”19Trust: “Zzzzfff lights, lights, lights, lights, lights, lights, lights”

Hope: “mmffhpzzfmm, I’m about to knock a homie out if they don’t turn that light back off…”

Orthopox: “Am I the only one concerned about the fetus my daughter has in a jar under her night stand?!?”
20Orthopox: “I just wanted to come back and check on my family.  I still love and care for them and will watch over them always.”

Trust: “Mmm thanks for turning out the lights dad, you’re the best, SNORE”21Hope: “Said I’m not allowed to use the fish tank as a toilet anymore, but what she don’t know won’t hurt her.”

Goldfish: “PLEASE GOD NO”22Hey young man, where do you think you’re going with that vodka, you’re like 14.

Pandemic: “Into the wall, clearly.”

Well put that alcohol down, you’re too young.23Pandemic: “Fuck you too then.”

Very mature.24Pandemic: “Oh I just realized you have a really uniquely colored IF, Love.  I don’t recall the last time I’ve seen that color on one in a while.”

Love: “Don’t be IF racist and what are you doing reading my thoughts, that’s creepy.”

Pandemic: “I can’t help I actually inherited the ability to read minds that my dad actually didn’t get.”25Love: “Oh and speaking of, who told you to go ahead and hit puberty, Hog?”

Bathroom Hog: “Can’t a MAN watch a little adulterated sexy tellytubby knock offs and discover the “joys of life” while everyone else in the house sleeps?!  God, so judgy!!”

Love: “That is NOT anything I asked about or wanted to know.”26Anguish: “Ah well I ONCE AGAIN got banned from going near the fish tank for a week.  Anyway, would you like to go for your daily swim, buddy!?”27Empty Monster Can: “Omifuckingaw bruh, I hadda grow up jus’ so I could giddaway’ from that crazy ass bitch!!  Fuckin’ dunkin’ me inna toilet like that ‘n swirlin’ me around lika’ scrubber cleaner, th’fuck she on?!”

Love: “…so like, I got waffles”28Rage: “DAMN LIL SINGLE MAMA LET ME SLAP IT”

Hope: “How about I slap you”

Zoe: “YEAH fuck my idiot husband UP”29Rage: “If Hope can’t appreciate a little lighthearted flirting then I will shove her beloved dragon she never really met into this claw machine.  That’ll show her.”

Ramiel: “Oh so HERE’S where I’ve been since Hetal died.  Oh thank God I actually thought she flushed me down the toilet after all that time.”30Happiness: “Trust, I have to tell you something… as my best friend in the whole world.  My confidant.  My beloved descendant.  Truth is… I’ve been a vampire this whole time.”

Trust: “Grandpa.  Everyone knows that.  You’ve been over 200 years old with the boy band complexion long enough for any idiot to realize at this point.”31Happiness: “Yeah I’ve learned to cope with my condition really well.  I realized over the years that I REALLY love to paint.  Really takes the anxieties away, you know?”

Trust: “Um.  Sure grandpa.  Whatever you say.”32Jin: “I brought a turkey because I know how dry and stale your birds are every Thanksgiving dinner.”

Hope: “It’s June the 2nd but I’m just happy you finally dressed into something sensible for once in your life.”33Dianna: “Don’t you dare heartfart over that idiot vampire shithead I swear to god-”

Tenisha: “MMMM HAPPINESS, TAKE ME YOU PIECE OF MAN MEAT”

Lana: “So like my grandma told me horror stories about you all and she said she was never happier to be disowned like she was and I see why.”34It took me a second to recognize Lana’s face.  For a second with that lip I thought I had somehow misplaced some love child I didn’t remember Hysteria ever having, but going through her tree, I found out that this is Cruelty’s granddaughter!  Not sure where the lip came from because she didn’t have it and her parents or grandpa don’t have it so I wonder if a hidden recessive Jada throwback is even possible at this point.

Lana: “Didn’t ask for a back story I’m just here for my trick or treat candy.”

It’s NOT Halloween you eggheads, it’s not even FALL.35Jin: “I have finally been allowed to sit in the rocker, and the age old curse has finally been lifted!  My ass is sated, and I’m allowed to finally die.”

I swear sims just wait until my parties to kick the bucket.  And I wonder just how long Jin had waited on this one as well.36Wicked: “Grandma, noooo, you didn’t know me well enough to put me on your will for your secret estate”

Zoe: “Damn, I huffed too much paint thinner again, that Christmas ghost snuck back in the house again”

EvilGenius: “I’m still here?  LOL”37Pandemic: “No great grandma why did you have to die, and why did I have to become suddenly horny for Rosalinda now”38Rosalinda: “Ew, dude trying to mack on me while his great grandma is taking her dying breaths?!  Forget this, I’m leaving.  Stupid hot guy.”39Suzette: “Shame about your grandma but my dad said you’re all results of some imbred genie/witch experiment so TRICK OR TREAT”

Rage: “Can’t you wait until I finish removing granny’s corpse from my kid’s bedroom before spouting off stupid shit”40OOH, Agony’s line just gets prettier and prettier.

Suzette: “What can I say.  MY grandma didn’t settle for us to fail after SHE was disowned and thrown out, unlike yours and Lana’s line.”

Rage: “Alright that’s it I’m about to egg and toilet paper YOU off my porch”41Love: “Since I don’t get a birthday because cakes are soooooo boring, I’ve decided to age up under the cover of night, just so you don’t have a good light to see my new features!  Oh do I live for little microaggressions!”

Thanks a lot for that.42Love: *Honky Tonks her way into puberty*

Bathroom Hog: “Really?  Why did it have to be so easy for her but I ended up crying on the floor for three hours when I hit puberty…”43Under some proper light, we now have Love, who is now a great kisser.  I won’t ask how we came to that conclusion.

Love: “Well I have come to the conclusion that we have another cat now?  Did I get a birthday present?”

Sorry no, that one showed up at the party earlier and won’t leave.  Didn’t even belong to anyone that was invited.  Shoo cat.44Happiness: “No I do not approve.”

Love: “MOM, GRANDPA IS BEING A JERKHOLE AGAIN”

Hope from the toilet: “HAPPINESS GO SLEEP OUTSIDE”45Happiness: “I don’t want to sleep out here!  There are werewolf ghosts out here that want to eat me!”

Marlena: “Nonsense, all she wants to eat is waffles and burnt teriyaki chicken.  She makes a great fridge cleaner.”

Alex: “LET ME IN I SMELL salad”46Love: “Oh.  The parrots are invisible now.  That’s FANtastic.”

Better than dead already.47Happiness: “Oh baby babayyy~”

Zoe: “Do not fucking TOUCH”
48Zoe: “You are fucking DISGUSTING, DISRESPECTFUL, and if you keep this shit up you are going to be DEAD because if you try that shit again I’m going to take this cane and jam it through your undead stupid little heart!”g49Happiness: “God, that woman has to be a real firecracker, doesn’t she…”

Trust: “Zzzmmn Grandpa you’re not invited”50Ending the chapter with some bad news.  Got this message on a busted opportunity I couldn’t fulfill because nothing I did to the radio was good enough apparently, so I used it as a gage for whether or not she was still alive…51And finally, Veronica, who vastly out-survived her husband in old human age, passed away and now joins Nascar in redneck robot heaven.  They had no children, and their house was instantly scooped up by my simself, her kids, and her vampire boyfriend.

About missmiserie

I make sims legacies and update them once every other blood moon :)

One response to “EvilGenius”

  1. Kiaira says :

    RIP Veronica

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