Last chapter we experimented with meteors and Muriel had the lovely experience of dying twice thanks to game crashes. That’s really it. Can’t say it was a very legacy-progressing chapter.Euphoria: “Sure would be fantastic to use the potty without some weirdo snooping in on me like this.”
Phonecase: “No idea what you’re talking about, Euphie! I’m completely protecting you from the perverted ghosts that keep sneaking into your house from here!”
Euphoria: “I was talking about YOU, my mutilated little dude!”Euphoria: “Can you believe what I found in the toilet just now? Just, who would do such a thing, you know?!”
Patience: “Ooooh, sorry… I was doing an experiment to see what all I could flush down the toilet and meant to dig the baseball out of the draining pipe before anyone noticed…”Euphoria: “Wait, WHAT. I was talking about my mutilated IF’s amputated legs and why would someone stuff them down in the drain, but the flip is wrong with you, Patience???? A BASEBALL??”
Patience: “It was for science… I was testing the mass limit of the commode for, idk, “future bathroom visits”…”Euphoria: “So you want to have a breath holding contest? I’ve been meaning to test my losery-ness on someone and see if it’s actually a thing.”
Wrath: “What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dictator!!”
Zoe: “Please help the universe won’t let me drown her and I can’t take it anymore!”I don’t know if that’s a good idea now that I’m looking at it. Wrath’s kinda melting into the water like a raccoon trying to clean off some cotton candy.”Euphoria: “Oh wow I actually won! I did it! Wrath I wo-Wrath???”
Cynthia: “You did it. You finally freed us from the eternal bad joke reel. Thank you my child. Thank you.”
Loser is a dumb trait, but Wrath was also unlucky so they probably just cancelled each other out.Joy: “Alright bud. I don’t like you and you don’t like me. The thing is, you don’t have a lot of options left. So if I were you, I’d start begging while I can…”Love: “School. Now. I can’t believe you keep getting caught up in raising Cain with the dance sphere and trying to miss school for it! It’s not too late to send YOU to boarding school too you know.”
Joy: “You don’t understand, mother. I do it for us. I do it for the safety of this family! One day when that machine is gone, we will all be safe from it’s clutches!”
Love: “JOY. Your sabotaging is what about killed us, especially Valor, on multiple occasions! If that thing ends up killing one of us because of that I will actually disown you, now go.”Garrett: “Oh GOD, I’m back at high school, the worst years of my life!!”
Valor: “Then why even take a teaching job here if you hated it so much.”
Euphoria: “I like math class :)”So um. Yeah. What’cha doing there, Anguish.
Anguish: “Oh I’m grading school papers! Busy busy. Always got work to do with the kids, you know.”Really now. Sure looks like Tony Hawk Skateboarding 9 to me.
Anguish: “Kids took a field trip today to the dump or something, not much to grade so give me a break.”
Looks like you’ve already had enough to break.Mayhem: “Mom can you help me with my homework today? I don’t want to lag behind in my studies right before my graduation.”
Anguish: “A, A, C, A and C, Andrew Johnson, True, true, false, true, Congress.”
Mayhem: “Mom, don’t just give me the answers like that, that’s cheating!!”
Anguish: “Look I’m not above making sure my own kids get the best grades, so you might as well take this with a grain of salt, I’m inserting all A’s into your report card anyway as we speak.”Eunice: “FRIDGE BAD”
Just go outside and eat grass. No more fridges in this family.Love: “Wow, there are little meteorites all over this lot. Did they fragment and get blasted all the way over here from the impact sites? This may or may not require more scientific study.”
Old guy: “Why you sniff me like that”Love: “Let me look up my nature guide. Yep! Meteors are definetely rocks! That’s good to know, can you NOT try the reach around dude, I WILL PAINFULLY melt your mind with my powers.”
Trenchcoat: “That wasn’t what I was trying to do! :(“
Cowplant 2: *Deepthroats that shit*Eunice: “FUCK I forgot. I still live with you guys. God I hate it here.”
Anguish: “We love you too grandma, after this level can you pop my arm into my socket again, I need to get on cleaning the house.”
Love: “Who knew holding a hot dog like this would be so effective”Love: “I may or may not have come all the way out here tonight to summon another meteor while everyone is asleep.”
Athena: “Did someone say BIG DANGEROUS CATACLYSM at 2 in the morning on a school night?!”
Love: “Oh no.”Hyun-Moon: “I’m so happy to survive a week in the hell dimension only to fight my way back into the sim world just to die in a fiery meteorite explosion.”
I see they didn’t have showers in the hell dimension either.Don’t worry, the whole squad lived.Euphoria: “Are you ready to rock and roll, Rage?!”
Rage: “We’re doing Brittany Spears classics today, so eff that rock shit, but yeah let’s goooo~!”Orthopox: “That was the worst rendition of a song I have ever heard! Get off the stage you piece of cheese! You sound like a box of tacks and angry squirrels in a paint shaker!!”
Rage: “Oh hey Orthopox. Long time no see. This is Euphoria, your own granddaughter, that you just completely dragged through the dirt like that.”Orthopox: “Oh, er, in that case, GREAT job, sweetie! You’re sounding so wonderful! Total star material in the making! Grammpie loves you muches!”
Euphoria: “Yeah, sure. Thanks gramps.”Soon Leisure day was upon us and instead of installing that mod and preventing everyone from laying out of work for the 80th day in a row, we took the whole family to the beach to celebrate Mercy’s and Joy’s birthday. Today is the last day if Mercy gets the heir vote, but if not it’s still a nice way to celebrate reaching the finish line with someone in this generation.
Now don’t get too crazy and lost in that 4 square foot of space, guys! There’s only a whole beach out there to ignore!Panic: “Totally having a great time at the beach in this two by two shed Love thank you for taking me”
Love: “Your sarcasm is not appreciated.”
Happiness: “… I’m genuinely having fun.”Alright, it’s Record Scratch time, I want to do an experiment with the summoned meteor that I have so far not proven: if I can kill a sim with the summoned meteor. Game saved, off record, let’s murder.
Love: “No one come over here, I’m doing science and I don’t want anyone in my family to get hurt if possible.”Anguish: “Oh shut the fuck up, you can’t tell me what to do, if I want to come stand on this particular bit of beach, I’m going to and there’s nothing your ass can do about it. “Weh weh weh, I’m Love and I think I can tell anyone shit because I’m a big time alien with no tits”… wait, why is there a rock up there”Happiness: “I too will join you on this part of the beach. I really want to warm up by the fire. It’s a shame the rain won’t let the fire be fire though.”
Anguish: “Ugh, now you’re here too? Maybe I should go back into the shed now.”
Love: *Big brain moment*The fuck you doing back there giggling at this.
Valor: “Hehe they’re going to be turned into pancakes.”
The FUCK. You’re supposed to be a GOOD CHILD. You flunked your way through military school didn’t you.
Valor: “Lol probably.”Love: “I come out of my deep space meditation to find you too sucking face and grabbing crotches, that is so nasty. I thought you two were over that smut. Ugh, this isn’t how I wanted to spend my last few moments on earth.”
Honor: “I’mma be here hiding in da waddur”Happiness: “OH GOD IT’S A METEOR HELP”
Anguish: “OH NOW YOU’RE TELLING ME THIS WHEN IT’S TWO FEET ABOVE ME”
Love: “SUICIDE IS PAINLESS~”Euphoria: “Huh, did any of you guys here that massive banging noise just now?”
Rage: “All I’m hearing is this sick drop on this song, now shut up and listen to the music, I can’t focus on my tan with your yammering.”Roderick: “OH GOD PROTECT MY HAIR”
Joy: “I’m gonna go ahead and just practice being dead ok”It was in this moment that I remember reading somewhere that aliens are immune to death by meteors for some reason. I guess that’s true.
Love: “Me and the meteor had a diplomatic discussion and we came to terms and worked out our differences.”
Sure.Love: “Although… I can’t say the same thing about my beloved cousin Anguish.”
Anguish: “I prefer my Haunting ghost form, you could have had this one, Love.”
Love: “I’ll try harder next time.”Love: “I’m so sorry Anguish!!! Sob! I warned you to stay away now only if you listened to me! I’ll miss you and mourn you forever!!”
Death: “Uh, what about your greatx5 grandpa?”
Love: “Sooooob, I don’t caaaaarre!!”
Patience: “Does this mean we have to cancel dinner at Olive Garden later?! :(“Happpiness: “At least I still got my sparkle buddies. They’ll still protect me from the sun at least.”
Interestingly enough I don’t think his hair hardly changed color.Ok back to the correct timeline. Back to the beach trip at hand.
Mercy: “I’ve decided to not suntan in the back behind the sheds with my sister. I don’t think I was getting a lot of sun behind a building anyway.”
Rage: “That and if you don’t turn off your shitty ass music, dad!”With nothing else really to do, Love decided to not stay at the party after all and went home. Ah well. Her job here was done.Happiness: “This water is so cool, and so calm. Would be so weird if something bad were to happen to us now, wouldn’t it, Honor? Like a stray meteor or something? Just out of the blue all of a sudden?? Wouldn’t that be odd???”
Honor: “I don’t know you nor am I listening to you grandpa.”Anguish: “HEY MISCHIEF!! LOOK WHAT I SPLURGED ON WITH YOUR STIMULUS MONEY!! A BOAT!! AND YOU’RE NOT GONNA BE IN IT!! HEHEEHEHEHEH”
Mischief: “But… I’m the boat guy…”Pain: “Wow, totally so happy you chose me to get on the boat with you, mom. I’m sure you totally can’t tell I’m being sarcastic with you or anything.”
Anguish: “Of course not! Anything to bully your brother is going to be a party in itself and you know it!”
Pain: “I suppose that’s true. But fuck do I hate boats.”Anguish: “Anyway. DO YOU LIKE THE BOAT, MISCHIEF?! FEEL THAT TURBULANCE, ISN’T IT SOMETHING YOU WOULD ENJOY CREATING?!”
Mischeif: “HURGGHAGAFFLUFULFUFGLUG”Mischief??? Where are you going??
Mischief: “I’m not allowed to live my dreams… I’m going out to live the last of my days out in the open embrace of the sea. Remember me fondly.”
Damn, so melodramatic.Anguish: “Fiiiiine. You little whiny shit. I’ll give you five minutes in the boat if it keeps you from drowning yourself. Last thing I need is cops going through my bedroom shit just because your body floated up on a beach somewhere.”
Mischief: “I’ve never been so happy in my life, mother, mother, MOM, DON’T HIT ME”Mischief: “Wow, this is so cool, mom!! This thing has a port, AND a starboard side?! I bet the stern is somewhere on this boat, and I bet this model has one of them “hull” things! OOH! Is there a porthole up on the top of this thing?!”
Anguish: “Do you want a chance to drive this thing or not?!”Anguish: “Alright, pedal is gas, steering is wheel. Come on, asshole you know how to drive a car, so a boat is about the same thing.”
Mischief: “Mom I don’t know how to drive a car, you never taught me.”
Anguish: “Oh really? Well shit your dad can pull some weight around the house and teach you some shit, damn, why do I have to do everything around here…”Anguish: “Ah yes, I wish I had known I could do this sooner! I would have already bought a boat then!! Maybe Mischief was onto something after all. Oh well, I’ll never tell him that. Hey LOSERS! You enjoying flopping around in the ocean like plebs? Have fun with that, I’m off on the EXTREAME!”Anguish: “Alright dumbass don’t go too fast in this thing, I do NOT want to wipe out in the shallows. If I crack my head I’ll do worse than haunt your ass. Are you even listening to me?”
Mischief: “… It’s time… I have all I need… all I ever craved… I can bring the whole world to it’s knees… destroy the world economy at the sources…”
Anguish: “Uh, Mischief, are you even there?”Mischief: “Aw fuck she kicked me out of the boat.”
Well to be fair that’s what you get for being weird now don’t get bitten by that shark over there.Mayhem: “Oh WOW! So that’s what I look like with a little color! I’m now just a basic white girl, just like in my teen magazines!”
Mayhem have you never heard of a shower before?While Mayhem had the luck of just caramelizing her pasty ghosty flesh, poor Patience got baked. The poor child.
Patience: “Ugghn, you’re going to have to cut the shirt off of me. I can hardly move. Might have to cut the shorts off too for that matter.”
You can just keep your shorts on until you recover then.Oh no, Mercy… the sun got you too…
Mercy: “It’s ok! I got a plan that will fix this in a jiffy.”By… suntanning more…
Mercy: “Exactly!! Just gonna finish baking the burnt cells completely off, then when the skin sloughs off and reveals my new creamy complexion underneath, I’ll be back and good to go!”
I’d say that’s not how this works here, but you’re an alien, what do I know what your skin really does.Honor: “In contrast to my burnt siblings, I, like Mayhem, have obtained the sunkissed look. How do I fare, Joy?”
Joy: “Ughn, like a puke green brown liquid found in the bottom of a dumpster. Oh man, that’s an ugly color for a tan.”
Honor: “Wow. Thanks. Sis.”
Joy: “No problem, being honest is what I do.”Euphoria: “Well would you look at that! I’m also sun kissed! And I… hardly look that different.”
You’re… not different at all actually.Mayhem: “Hey mom, I meant to tell you. Eunice was running a really high fever this morning before we left. Do you think it would be wise to call on her and check on her and make sure her fever is going down and she’s doing ok?”
Anguish: “Nah, I’m sure she’s fine. She’s built like a horse. I made sure of that. She’s ok.”She’s DEAD. In the pool. Of old age I think? The ghost is white so I assume she didn’t drown, just stopped breathing on her own. Big difference.
Eunice: “Thank fuck, now come over here and zap me away before Anguish realizes I’m gone and drags me back from hell.”Death: “CANNONBALL”
Eunice: “I was willing to swim over to you and save you the trouble but whatever.”Death: “Poke! You’re it! You have to be Marco. I’ll be Polo. Don’t cheat now!”
Eunice: “How is it fair that I don’t cheat when you’re using your scythe for extra arm’s reach, Death?! Fuck off with that!”Eunice: “At least give me one more dive in the shallow end! That was fun!”
Death: “It’s also how you croaked it, idk what you found fun in that.”
RIP Eunice. I’m not rezzing you again even if Anguish wished for it. It didn’t grant her the wish so why even try it.Death: “Oh I was only gone for a literal split second, but yeah. I’m also here for the cat.”
Rage: “Dammit, at least let me get to the bar for my celebratory toast for Eunice first…”Death: “Alright Ifrit. Pack your non-existent bags.”
Ifrit: “Wait, the FUCK?! What do you MEAN I’m DYING FIRST?! I’m the YOUNGEST!! Take my brother Belial, he’s literally older than me by a whole day after all!!”
Belial: “I don’t know what you’re talking about, la la la, oooh look over there that patch of grass requires my attention.”
RIP Ifrit. You were the youngest but only because the game is dumb. Looks like we’re down to two cats now.Love: “I can’t believe this is happening! Eunice dying sucked but I really liked that cat!!”
Rage: “This pain I feel feels like it will last forever! Or at least two days!”
Death: “So uh… we still doing this pool party or what??”Love: “Alrighty, I’m off to dispose of Ifrit, I hope nothing else tramatic and sad happens to us today!”
Alastor: “Hold that thought.”Death: “Yeah. I’m here for another cat.”
Jesus, Death you really had to take them all in one day, but you couldn’t just do it en masse and stop breaking our hearts every three seconds?
Spilt Malt Liquor: “We IFs really all are stuck in the T-pose glitch of death, huh”Death: “What a beautiful cat to add to my collection. I will love you forever and totally not turn you into a fur cape trim or anything.”
Alastor: “Haha what the fuck”
Pain: “Can’t you just go already so I can get back to wondering why the hell my outerwear is hodge-podge out of the Goodwill again?”
RIP Alastor, previously EvilGenius. Belial is the last remaining cat in the house. Hopefully Death will leave him alone long enough for us to breathe for a minute.Joy: “Are we done with all the sad? Ok great! Because it’s now my BIRTHDAY!!!”
Patience: “That’s fantastic sis! Just… give me a second to celebrate with you. I have to move extra slow out of this chair. Because. You know. The excruciating pain.”Patience: “You’re such a beautiful woman now, sis! Awh, if only the cats could be here with us today to see the lady you have become.”
Joy: “Wait, what do you MEAN Alastor isn’t here to cheer me on too”Anyway, there’s Joy, no goodness, no chance, she will soon exit the household with her new childish trait. As if we couldn’t tell that was part of her personality already. I think her LTW is world cook or whatever it is.And so, we end it here because with Joy’s birthday comes Mercy’s, and if she’s heiress, we will stop with Love and start with her. But with four Good sims in this gen, we get to do a vote! Who’s ready for this one?!
First up is the birthday girl, along with being good, she is also a slobby couch potato, but she loves swimming. Granted I have never seen her actually swim, even at the beach she clearly preferred to lay around on a beach towel the whole time, but who knows, maybe being an adult will actually spark a flame in her for water activities.Second to get the Good trait was Valor, who also hates the outdoors and is clumsy. Also as I was going through my phone to remember his traits from there, I realized I had mentioned here twice that he hates the outdoors on two separate birthdays? How I managed that is beyond me. Anyway, instead of double hating nature, he is excitable.Next on the list is the feminine counterpart of a set of twins, Euphoria is good and friendly, but she is also a slob, and a loser. But I mean, look at her. How is anything in this a loser??? ;-;Her twin brother, Patience, is also a good loser like her, and like Valor he is also excitable and clumsy. Kind of a small collection of traits were selected for all these kids I believe.And that’s that! Vote! Or not. Either way, here we end the day, Pain having a hard time with the concept of Death itself, while Death itself swims in their swimming pool like he literally has nothing better to do.
Rage: “I think he’s killing our cats just so he can stay around and swim.”
Love: “I figured it was just because all the cats are old as the hills, but you may be right.”