Hanging Out with Family
Oh we gonna do this EVERY FUCKING TIME I turn on this computer huh
I last updated months ago yadda yadda yadda and Bliss and Modesty grew up. They moved out with Malignant and Calamity into a nice modern HOA trap. Angel also bought a house in the same community and that was really it. Hm. That chapter was filler.
Orthopox: “They’re hogging the silica crumb pit :(“
How’s your LTW going now, Malevolent? Are you GETTING ARRESTED AT THE START OF YOUR SHIFT
Malevolent: “The nice officer said he had candy and a puppy in his car if I went with him, how could I have said no.”
Malevolent: “Can I turn on the woo woo box?”
Officer McCop: “I knew I should have hit her harder in the face than I clearly did.”
I’m wondering if she was actually arrested for any real crime or just for the super serious toxic BO that’s leaking out of the car on the way to the station…
Malevolent: “There was never a puppy or candy was there…”
Back at home, the house is still in shambles.
Torture: “I would love nothing more than to one day be able to sit down and eat a nice bowl of air without getting seven splinters in my ass.”
I now have chew toys out for Nergal, what more do you want.
Luck being in time out has revealed to me that I have had an alchemy station hidden away in the corner of the library and apparently forgot all about it! Now Sanguine doesn’t have to go all the way down to the store to do her work!
Luck: “I didn’t mean to hit Sorrow with the car it was an accident, this isn’t fair”
Great, you’re out of jail now? Might as well start your whole career all over, dipshit.
Malevolent: “Yeah well while the world was bemoaning my loser illegalities, I came up with a brilliant idea while in the stint.”
Malevolent: “I will now proceed to buy out the prison system.”
Really now.
Malevolent: “I will buy more and more shares, and soon I will monopolize the whole prison market (however that works), then when they come to arrest me for loser crimes, they won’t be able to! Because I own them! Hehe.”
Won’t work but will be funny to watch.
Torment. Have you even left the golf square?
Torment: “I’m gonna be the next Tigger 100 Acre Woods!”
At least the golf square is being used now.
While Malevolent was in jail I redid her room. It’s just the old room recombined from when it was Pain’s a Judd’s but with her coat of paint.
Within the room are all the art pieces, artifacts, and relics that she would actually hope to actually steal one day just kidding they’re all counterfeits she’s too much of a loser to get the real ones… yet.
On the far side of the room is an alter to the Unseen One that her father made her get.
Malevolent: “I try not to look in that hideous corner of the room and as soon as I get my hands on the real Mona Lisa I’m replacing it with her.”
And Sanguine got a new expansion and make over as well!!
Sanguine: “Not with that hideous mirror you aren’t.”
Other angle of said room. Note there isn’t even the mirror in question.
Since Calamity moved out, she got the expansion from her old room. Demise won’t count since I don’t even think he sleeps in his bed anymore so he’s not losing anything.
And how is the building projects in town going!!
DEVELOPMENT WAITS FOR NO MAN
Alchemy shop: “Where’s my roof I know I just put it down around here somewhere”
Sophia: “1. 1 in 5 deaths among U.S. workers is in the construction industry. [OSHA] 2. Of the 42 annual crane-related deaths, around 60% involve a falling object. [BLS] 3. A total of 1,008 construction workers died on the job in 2020. [BLS] 4. Each year, 10.2 of every 100,000 construction workers suffer a fatal injury, which is the third highe-”
Omen: “MOOOOOOM! The dog is plagiarizing statistics off of google again!! I’m throwing the little freak out of the window!”
Demise: “You… the woman formally known as… mother… you smell… you smell like…”
Teagan: “Tae fook ye goin’ awn aboot this time ye lil ass goblin”
Teagan: “Aye ye wan’ tae getta good sniff, are ye? Then git’ya a good deep whiff of me pits. Yea, git good ‘n deep in thae”
Not pictured is Demise passed out on the floor for an hour afterwards.
I don’t know if I mentioned it or not yet but the only reason I keep the children’s playground now that they’re all teens and adults is because the ghosts seem to think it’s for them now, so it keeps them entertained.
Euphoria: “Mom you literally saw me bouncing over here and you really have to come get in my way? If I kick you square in the head that’s going to be on you not me.”
See what I mean? This belongs to them now.
Alfred: “Oh. And here I thought I was going to be the scariest thing out here tonight…”
Fear: “Edgardo.”
Edgardo: “Fear. My descendant of descendants…”
Edgardo: “I love you so much man!”
Fear: “And I’m fond of you too, my dearest cheese goblin ghost grandpa.”
They’re best friends forever. I have NO idea how that even happened.
Fear: “And now… I JOIN Edgardo grandpa on the other side…”
Bro really decided to stand there for almost three hours. Really? This is how you wanted to go?
Malevolent: “Good thing I saw you from the window and called you for breakfast before you turned into ashes that I would have sold as the ashes of the Virgin Mary, people would definitely buy that shit.”
Fear: “And yet she calls me in to eat this slop? This… grease pan scraping she’d dare call a meal?! Look at it! I’d rather be in the yard now!”
Oh? The kids are all hanging out together in the most literal sense? How awesome!
Miracle: “Totally love me a hunk. Boys are so cool. Dudes amiright? Boy crazy boy story lol!”
Torment: “I mean yeah sure ig”
Happiness: “And now new topic! Art! Love art! Can’t get enough of art. You like art? I love art. Art you guys amiright lol”
Miracle: “Haha yes! Most definetely!”
Happiness may have found his community finally.
Shannon: “Alright now a newer topic! Uh. Demise?”
Luck: “NO.”
Jubilee: “Ew mom why did you even have to mention HIM.”
Miracle: “Wow she really ruined this gathering, so much for that.”
Happiness: “Just when I finally found a place I belong too.”
Luck: “Alright, newer topic. Everyone gather around Sophia this little WEIRDO”
Sophia: “I JUST CAME IN FROM THE YARD WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM”
No sense anymore the party broke up and dispersed after that.
Speaking of Sophia, her counterpart is drowning in the water fountain.
Nergal: “MY LIFE WOE TO IT ALL”
She’ll be fine.
Sigh. Let me GUESS.
Happiness can’t you FUCK OFF
Malevolent: “Hey grandpa, if that’s your real name. I hate to break it off with you but I got to break it off with you. You know. Since you’re grandpa and all.”
Happiness: “BITCH”
Malevolent: “Hey whoa what’s all this then I thought you good fuckers couldn’t cuss and curse like that”
Happiness: “I’m allowed one bad word every 100 years or so let me have this”
Oh NOW he’s starting to understand his curse.
Demise: “I EMBRACE it. I will ADD MORE to my fold! MORE to my clan!!”
You better not.
And finally, the triplets are down to have their birthday!
Torment: “Finally, Green jacket here I come!!”
Modesty: “I interrupt this life moment with an important annoucement, that I have got me a Man.”
That’s your uncle Modesty. You nasty bitch. Nasty. Nasty. Nasty. Nasty.
Modesty: “Yeah well when he dies and leaves his entire fortune to me in a day or so who will be laughing now?!”
He didn’t DO SHIT AT HIS JOB. He has NO FORTUNE, IDIOT
Anyway, back to our handsome new adult Torment. He is now a diva, which we can always use more of those.
Torment: “That’s for damn sure.”
Omen: “I can’t wait to grow up into a man! An Oman!”
Teagan: *No cares*
Omen grew up to be so handsome. And yet, he’s a couch potato.
Omen: “Can’t wait to do nothing the rest of my life.”
Teagan: “NOW GIT A JOB”
Omen: “GAAAAH WITH CUTICLES LIKE THIS I COULD NEVER”
And lastly, Catastrophe, growing up in my least favorite location that they love to grow up in.
Catastrophe: “As I should!”
And WHOOOOW SHE’S SO CUTE
SO DAMN CUTE I LOVE HER why you can’t be heiress please ;w;
Malevolent: “Hey”
Catastrophe: “That’s nice and all but do I really have to have my photo taken on the TOILET”
That’s what happens when you grow up in the pool, hunnie.
Haven’t checked on Sanguine much this chapter.
She’s out and about Smeagoling around for mushrooms for her LTW.
Sanguine: “Thankfully these mushrooms glow but I don’t know what their render distance is so I still have to look very closely. Hm? Could that be some mushrooms just over the horizon?”
Sanguine: “It’s… oh… oh no. The IF’s have been caching their productions I see…”
Sanguine: “What is even going on here?!”
Turberculosis: “EMERGENCY REPORT SIR EMERGENCY REPORT!! The wall failed!! We have a pedestrian in the main facility!!”
An Angry Cat: “Well that’s what happens when you only build 10 feet of fucking wall you MORON”
Dirt: “Well protect the meth stock at least!! Get the GUNS”
Sanguine: “I suppose you’re out here having fun at least, that’s important.”
Teagan: “Aaah! I wae t’ smack her wif me cane but why? Why cae I do eet?! Wha es stoppin’ me frum ME?!”
Teagan: “Lil boggart. Once I figgur oae dis invisibl’ wall, ur life e’ ovur.”
Miracle: “Hehe ignorant bliss.”
Oh. I see Demise does still use beds at least.
Demise: “This used to be my room. Therefore, my bed.”
Torment: “That’s NOT fair, I want a cool bed too, I’m the family BABY”
Sanguine: “No really who thought that mirror was a good idea”
OOOOOOH NO. You little SHIT. You left FLEAS in the BED OF MY HEIRESS.
Demise: “That’s my girlfriend. Fiona Flea.”
Miracle: “You dingus! You can’t be spreading fleas all over this house, we already have a horrible reputation as it is with the destroyed furniture, you’re going to make people think we’re nasty too! Grow up AND grow up and stop being so gross!!”
Demise: “AAH! Help me Fiona Flea! Protect your MAN”
Sanguine: “No the mirror is right there on the wall I was right all along”
Happiness: “What do you MEAN my Photobucket account deactivated my free account? Bunch of cheapskates! I had decades old pictures on there I was going to look at again one day maybe!!”
Torment: “He’s been screaming into his phone all morning. Please. When do we move out of this hell hole again?”
Oh! One moment. Let me check.
Hmmmmm. Nope. Catastrophe is still a cutey mcpooty tooty fresh n fruity. I must hoard her for a little bit longer.
Catastrophe: “Time to bake myself out of this ISBI :)”
Torment: “I will not stand for this. Day in and day out. Taking care of this nasty house and these nasty people. I need to marry out into money and escape this hell hole, and live a life that for the luxury that is me!”
I can’t remember his actual LTW but I’m gonna at least pretend now it’s Gold Digger or something.
Demise: “I can’t believe it. They were so perfect together. They were totally my OTP. You know, after me and Fiona Flea.”
Miracle: “Are you blind that was his neice this isn’t something that’s good in general HOLD ON I SAID BLISS, I thought it was MODESTY earlier that was starting a relationship with him
OH MY GOD IT WAS, WHAT THE HELL ARE THE TWINS DOING TO THE SAME UNCLE
Terror: “And to think one of them cheated on me ):”
AND YOU AREN’T?
FISBI 