Ultra Graduation

You know, this wouldn’t be a problem.

If it hadn’t been “preparing” FOR TWO AND A HALF HOURS BEFORE I FORCE QUITSanguine: “I’m on the job, I’m fixing the problem.”

THAT LOOKS WORSEIs that a lobster

Sanguine: “VERY rude, that’s our newest IT lady, show her respect”Sanguine: “Aww, it’s her whole family~”

Computer: “Kill me.  KILL MEEE”A quick recap of last chapter before we get too far; Torture and Sorrow moved out.  Courage opened a can of whoop ass on his own daughter.  Didn’t even know they were that bad relations wise.  Sanguine started using potions towards her LTW, and they DON’T COUNT TOWARDS IT, and I do theorize it’s because they are store bought (glow orbs are extinct omfg) but it’s BULLSHIT.  She’s now practicing magic just in case.  This means random things are being turned into bugs, fish etc and left in various places.  Lastly, Luck and Miracle had their birthdays, bringing about the end of their gen as far as I’m concerned.

Courage: “Mmm, good morning Shannon, my love.  Good morning Christie my… butterfly.  Good… morning, Chuck… my cockroach thing?  Seriously, what is our daughter doing…”

Shannon: “Zzz I dunno just make sure they’re stacked neatly before leaving zzz”Pain: “Ooooooh eeeee a ghost aaaaaa I’m dying pay attention to me”

Hetal: “See, this is why no one will ever take you seriously in this family.”

Marlena: “Did anyone else have those Taco Bell burritos this weekend?  Just me?”Anyway now that the girls are all ready Freddy, it’s time to say goodbye, as they are all moving out into the last house in the housing development (Angel’s house but he’s about to move in with us so it don’t count)

Pain: “OOOOOOh, EEEEEe, I SAID.  Pay ATTENTION to ME, AAaAAAA”

Catastrophe: “Should we call an ambulance?”

Luck: “Girl don’t even give her the time of day, that’s all she even wants.”Pain: “You know what?  I like you fucks.  I’m coming with y’all.  Girl power! Yeah!!”

Miracle: “Please tell me that’s a joke.”

Jubilee: “Pain I’m putting in a restraining order for you, don’t even visit.”Immediately after moving out, Sanguine went to visit her dear sisters to see how they are already adjusting, if they need help moving things in, mostly to move Angel out, etc, but then SUDDENLY, halfway down the street…It was suddenly GRADUATION time.

Sanguine: “But didn’t I just have my first decade class reunion four months ago?  This is some poopy planning.”

You can say that again.Sanguine: “Gah, I don’t need this, I’m a magical jobless socialite too busy saving the town for a degree!  Oh well!  Back to the trees you go, paper!”

Degree: *Lodged up into the branches, never to be seen again*Sanguine: “I’ve come to check on you guys!  What is THIS, Catastrophe!!  You’re only gone four seconds and you’ve already taken a life to the streets?!?!  NOOOOOOoooo!”

Catastrophe: “What are you talking about??  I’m a magical jobless socialite!  Duh.”

Saguine: “NOOOOOooo”The (actual) reason Sanguine is all the way up here is off to graduation with her sisters as well.  Talk about late homecomings.

Miracle: “I don’t even remember you in our graduating class.”

Angel: “Pretty sure I graduated when you were still in 2nd grade, but they’re only just now shipping me my robes so I’m tagging along.”From the looks of it… the entire housing development is out graduating today as well.

HOA: “This isn’t going to be covered by any of your protection plans! ):<“Malevolent: “Oh.  OH.  Half the town is out at graduation and NO ONE remembered to invite ME?!  I see how it is.  Oh don’t worry, I won’t forget about this.  I didn’t even want to go to the stinking graduation anyway.  Not my style, not my scene.  Where’s the rest of this cake, I’m gonna need the whole thing right now”Catastrophe: “Now that everyone is here safe and sound, I’m gonna slink off into the back alley over yonder… the teal headed elf promised me a free $50 if I show him a cool “trick” and how can I say no to easy money”

Jubilee: “Well that’s not fair… I want easy money too!  You think he’ll pass out cash to me too if I join you?  I’m really good with the quarter in the ear trick.”

Sanguine: “Somehow I don’t think he was talking about any magical kind of tricks you’re thinking of, guys.”Fintan: “Alright, alright you psychos!  We’ll all be passing out your overdue diplomas shortly, but you all need to line up single file, and the entry fee is about $20 cash.  Only cash.  My dealers no longer takes cards, checks, or stolen Goodwill items, so you fuckers better not front me.”

Omen: “Why do I have a feeling these “diplomas” are gonna be forgeries on newsprint that fell off a truck”Terror: “They sent me robes too but I’m just too old to be doing all this.  But I am here to support my wife.  She worked so hard to get as far as she has gotten.  I’m so proud of her.  She’s the backbone of our household and I’m proud to build a family with that pillar of a woman.”

Modesty: “As soon as he cans it, I’m taking the estate and heritance and moving to Bora Bora.”

Alesha: “Hell yeah get it girl”Quiana: “And we are equally proud of you too, our darling darkspawn!  You’ve worked so hard to get where you’re at AND not get captured by some SCP squad, so know I’ll always take pride in you.  Even though you snatched my umbrella right out of my hand.”

Nandini:  “I’m the one wearing the fancy hat here, not you.”

Julian: “Wait a minute…… I married THAT?”Angel: “No, really, is EVERYONE graduating at the exact same time this week?!  I still remember when you were in diapers, how are we graduating in the same year?”

It’s like for a moment the game forgot graduating was even a feature here, and is cramming in a catch-up session.Jubilee: “Now that I’m really looking, we really look more alike than I thought, sis.  I really could probably get away with stealing your identity and take over the legacy and no one would ever know.  Maybe even steal your face for good measure.  No one has ever done that before.”

Yes, every single one of the fallen children are here for graduation, except for (other than Malevolent) Spirit and Violence it seems like.  Which makes since, as Spirit I think is an adult now.Spirit: “Not true!  I wouldn’t miss this for the world!  42 or not, I’m always down for my furthered education!  I now have a GED, made just for me!”

Calamity: “I’m just glad you guys wear caps for grad.  I know that blossoming bald spot on your head would probably keep you from showing up at all.”And Violence is here, but he’s out of robe and is just supporting his roommate I guess.

Terror: “Isn’t supporting our love ones great…”

Violence: “I’m only here because I was promised chaos and disorder and WHOO EE did this event’s planning DELIVER”

Nandini: “Heheheheheheh” *Licks windows*Sanguine: “So everyone between the ages of 53 and 17 are graduating today and you’re just letting everyone in the doors?  Even the pantless pervert that has no business being here?  Come ON Fintan, have some class!”

Fintan: “HEY.  He paid three times the amount of the entry fee so whatever Daddy Hooley wants to do he gets!”Sanguine: “Anyway I opted to take my diploma on the side of Pidyn Mawr Street, but I’m still here to support my family, and of course to support you!  So yeah you moving in soon right”

Angel: “Awh, my darling Sanguine!  These are beautiful!  Already better than the apothecary dates you keep taking me on lately, by far!”Sanguine: “Oh Angel~”

Angel: “Oh Sanguine~”

Nicolas: “Hey, hey now, cut that out, or my dad and I are gonna double charge you extra for that”Sanguine: “This is such a monumental moment in our lives, so I think it’s a wonderful time to ask you this…”

Angel: “Sanguine?!  Even in all this rain?!”

Sanguine: “My love for you cannot even stop in this rain.  Angel?  Please be my future husband for the rest of time~”

Stephanie: “Are you SERIOUS!?  YOU PIG!! YOU MONSTER!!!  YOU WAIT UNTIL I TELL ELSA ABOUT THIS!!”

Angel: “What in the horse”Elsa: “Hm?  Tell me what dear?”

Sanguine: “Oh… I forgot we are ALL graduating today so we are ALL here… oh Elsa probably is still sore about the divorce… she’s going to render me a smear on the sidewalk isn’t she…”

Angel: “Oh, nah.  Elsa is over it, Elsa is pretty chill.  Forgave us ages ago.  Shoot, I still meet with her every second Tuesday for parcheesi night.  You should join us some time.”

Stephanie: “Are you fucking my unsalted butter”Stephanie: “HOW COULD YOU!!  UNFAITHFUL!!! DECEIPTFUL!!  WHORE OF MEN AND DOG OF HUMANITY!!”

Angel: “What, were you like me and Elsa’s top OTP shipper or something?  That’s really weird, yo.”

Sanguine: “GWAAAH oh it’s just you with the ghost stories, Jube.  Don’t scare me like that”Oh shit it gonna go DOWN

Luck: “Sanguine????  Your MAN”

Sanguine: “Oh no… I didn’t bring my wand for this…”Sanguine: “TIME TO EAT CONCRETE YOU HUSSY”

Stephanie: “WHAT TH- YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE NICE”

Angel: “Just for that slap Stephanie you’re no longer allowed in the AngelxElsa fan club anymore! I’ll see to that for sure!”Elsa: “Oh, oh dang.  She’s really opening a can of Prince Albert on her.”

Sorrow: “No, the saying is a can of whoop ass, Elsa.  And I don’t think it’s just a can, I really think she’s going to kill her.”

Jubilee: “That’s GREAT!  I can definitely use this to write more horror story material for the future!”Sanguine: “HIT MY FIANCE AGAIN AND RUIN OUR HAPPY DAY FOR EITHER OF US ONE MORE TIME AND YOU’LL NEVER BE invited to the wedding party”

Elsa: “Wow, she’s a powerhouse.  Yeah after all that she can DEFINETELY have Angel, he ain’t worth all that.”

Harmony: “Aw come onnnn, why did he have to approach ME, I don’t want to be the Margaritaville Captain’s future girlfriend, PLEASE”Sanguine: “Actually no I DO have my wand after all heheheheeh”

Stephanie: “OH COME ON”Sanguine: “I think it’s time for you to… CHILL OUT~”

Stephanie: “THIS ISN’T CHILLING, YOU’RE LYING AGAIN”Sanguine: “I have forgiven you.  What is in the past is in our past, and we can move forward in our future, hand in hand, as sisters and friends.”

Stephanie: “Go die somewhere”

Angeline: “I’m telling you, I ever need anyone to come kick someone’s ass for me, I’m totally calling this chick.”Turned the game off, came back like a week later?  Don’t think I’m stupid, young lady, I left you in graduation robes, what in the fresh HELL did I come back to you WEARING

Sanguine: “My high school diploma is no longer in fashion so I’m going to ignore what your mom is screaming at from the second floor”

Delilah: “I knew I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed to come let you in the house.”Sanguine: “You may be sleeping on my style, but this will be the newest fall trends this year, mark my words!”

I think we are sleeping on it because it’s late, and we be sleeping.Back at home, and Courage and Shannon have made it to their second anniversary!  Not many can say they made it to the cotton year!

Judd: “And a waste of time and energy it even is!  I had an anniversary once.  Absolute shit.  She kept my computer afterwards too.  Lost so much good porn that day.”

No one asked, Judd.Teagan: “Aigh’ no wae yew’re even onna my spawns, ur already droopin’ down t’ ur sto’mach while I’m still high n’ perky!  Didn’t get th’ goot genes froh’ me tha’s fer shuh”

Malevolent: “why IS this broad still kicking around…”Speaking of Malevolent, and growing up, etc etc, I went around town to check on her future spouse hopeful, Holli, as I haven’t seen her around in a while, and while she has siblings and one mom in a house not far from the Fallens, I wasn’t able to find her in the moment.  Found this weirdness tho.

Morrigan: “UGH.  Hooley can parade with his “little elf” out, but I whip off my bottoms and that damn Fintan loads me off because I wouldn’t pay extra?  That pig is going to get the meth sued right out of his blood stream.”

Garret?: “Mom we got kicked out because you took off your skirt, twirled it around in the air and screamed woo and when your phone flew out of the pocket and hit that old woman in the face they called the cops”OH now that the last of the girls are out of the house, I finally tackled the bedroom the triplets never even really used.  It was gutted and attached to Sanguine’s room as a master bathroom, much to Happiness’s chagrin.

Happiness: “I was trying to use the bunk bed in that moment for the first time since ignoring it for the past 25 years!”Luck/Miracle’s and Torture/Sorrow’s rooms were gutted back into hallway space, which will be completed once Peace gets the memo.

Orthopox: “Yep.  These are feathers, not shredded statue bits like I thought they’d be.”Sanguine: “Oh.  OH GOD.  NOT ALL OF HIM SPAWNED IN”

Never knew witches could transmogrify a while uncooked roast, but upon doing so, the roast could not be interacted with.  So I guess this one is DEFINETELY going to stay here with us.Spooky day made Mal want to have a party, so time to costume it up.  I want to have a nice one for oNCE.

Tomika: “And it would be nice if this GOBLIN DIDN’T TAKE UP ALL THE MAKE UP IN TOWN JUST TO COVER HER BILLBOARD CHIN”

Modesty: “I’m a magician and my husband is the assistant I make disappear.  He’s currently still disappeared.  What are you two supposed to be?”

Truth: “??? Honestly we just got off work?”Malevolent: “Oh, one of us is going to have to change.”

Sanguine: “Is it you?  Did you soil yourself?  I think you can still fit in that weird barber outfit you wore once to that really lame party in high school, do you want to go change?”

Malevolent: “Actually… I normally would take offense to that and get on her ass, but I heard she rearranged someone’s nose last night at graduation so I’m not going to cross her right now.”And JUST as the party is getting started:

Nergal: “I have gone ahead and dug my own grave, just because I didn’t want to leave it as a burden on my family, but also because I wanted it in the perfect spot, overlooking the pond I should have drowned myself in all those years ago.”

Nergal is calling it quits!  NOooo, Nergie!!Death: “… well…”

Nergal: “Haha, sup”

Death: “Is anyone going to come mourn or at least acknowledge you kicking the bucket over here?!”

Nergal: “I don’t know ): probably not.”

What in the healAnd none of you are acknowledging it?  None of you are moving??? Come on people, just GO ON IN or something already, yall act like yall a bunch of damn vampires or som-wait a minuteDeath: “Well I can’t wait around forever for them to figure out how a door works, I got a dentist appointment after this.”

Nergal: “Aaaaaaaaaaaaa VE Ma REEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeaaahhhh”

Death: “Dude can you not”Sophia: “No!  WAIT!  Please wait, I AM coming!  I want to say goodbye!  I need to say goodbye to my best friend!”

Awww, noooo… at least one acknowledged Nergal’s death, but Sophia is a tad bit too late.Sophia: “What words could I speak about beloved Nergal…  She was but a flower, bloom to dust, petals on the wind in the end.  Her time, fleeting, but her beauty, tis a moment, captured our souls forever.  The imprint she left upon me will resonate forever, immortal to the end of time, beyond love and beyond the end of life and existence of our beautiful planet.”

Death: “They are right, you ARE a weird little freak.”RIP Nergal.  You may have been the most destructive and financially ruining dog we have ever had.  You’ll be missed nonetheless.