Rocking Chair Drama

I don’t want to admit to how much time I have on my hands these days.  But let’s just say I’m still in dire need of a solid job.  That being said, I have plenty of time between resumes and my dying confidence to play sims.  It’s just been the perfect month for the Fallens.

Of course everyone saw this coming.  That’s what happens when Jaime has a temper tantrum and cuts all of Fancy’s hair off in her sleep in a fit of rage.  No wonder divorce is imminent with these two.  Such a shame really.

Marlena: “Happiness, have you seen where we put the dog’s supposito… is that your bathing suit?”

Happiness: “Does it entice you, my love?”

Marlena: “Well, I suppose, but the dog really needs his meds right now…”

Happiness: “I’ll take care of Ophaniel later.  Come to me, Marlena.  And I’ll show you how a vampire takes care of his woman.”

Marlena: “I can only imagine that you’ll still cry sensitively about it afterwards, but it’s been a while since we had a moment to ourselves.”

How romantic.

Mephistopheles: “THE HARVEST HAS BEGUN”

Brave: “Mom, the cat’s trying to stomp through my ribcage again!  Help!”

Mephistopheles: “Grumble… this one is not ripe yet.  I’ll let you live until another day, child.”

Brave: *Sob* “I bet if I was a vampire, you’d like me and leave me alone!”

Mephistopheles: “Once the child has been sacrificed, I will bury her heart under the floorboards with the rest of them.”

Eunice: “Happiness, help”

Happiness: “Mephistopheles, have you been playing Gravedigger in the house again?”

Happiness: “Yes!  The mod works!  No more mole people problems, what a fantastic day!”

Eunice: “Why would you take me out of the floorboards while I look like this?!  I look stupid! I am not happy.”

Daily Meghan sing-a-gram shot.

Happiness: “So… your husband’s cool?  I don’t need him popping out from behind a tree and shooting at me because I’m singing a diddy to you.”

Meghan: “Oh, you don’t have to worry about my husband bothering you ever again.  After the things I did to him last night, he won’t be saying a word about who I interact with anymore.

…

I’m talking about wild kinky sex.  He won’t bother anyone anymore after our sex last night.”

Happiness: “So, this is a celebratory sing-a-gram today?”

Marlena: Wow, I really, really, really have to go use the bathroom.  Ugh, this is so painful…”

Then how about getting out of the rocking chair and going to use the toilet, you dolt.

Marlena: “Oh no!  I didn’t make it!”

YOU DIDN’T EVEN TRY!

Marlena: “Oh well, mistakes happen to the best of us.”

Oh yes, go ahead and sit RIGHT BACK DOWN in the rocker with your wet smelly butt.  That helps.

What do you mean, she was working fine a second ago!  She was sitting right here, at the unrendered play set with Loyalty, playing just fine!  Now I think you just want to go around resetting any sim you want, game.

Wrath: “What manner of witchcraft is this?!  Three newspapers?  What the hell does the damn bone maid do all day?!”

Betel’s probably due for another restart actually.  I haven’t seen her in two game sessions.

ARE YOU FUCKING JERKING MY CHAIN, MARLENA

Marlena: “Wow, so beautiful…”

Edgardo: “I’m oddly uncomfortable about this…”

Brave: “Talk to the hand mother, because the face is not having it.”

I got to admit, she’s got some balls to face off against Marlena with that.  Marlena can be a bit of a crazy bitch…

Marlena: “What did you just say to me, young lady?!”

Marlena: “I think that grumpy little attitude of yours needs a major time out!  I will NOT have my daughter acting like some sort of hooligan and telling me to “talk to the hand” when I say it’s time to go to bed!  Start shaping up and go think about what you’ve been doing lately around the house, which is nothing productive!”

(Says the woman who would rather sit in her own piss than walk across a hallway)

Jealousy: “I’VE NEVER BEEN MORE SAD IN MY WHOLE LIFE!”

Jealousy, calm down.  It’s just a plant.

Jealousy: “I KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE PUT IT IN THIS POT, I SHOULD HAVE PLANTED IT ON MY MOTHER’S GRAVE.  OH WHAT A WASTE THIS IS!”

Eunice: “HOW’S THE THUG LIFE HOMIE”

Marlena: “AAH, Eunice!  You scared the living daylights out of me, don’t do that!  I’m making sure my baby is going in the correct crib, while, well, you know… watching Edgardo do it for me.  Edgardo and his fabulous little tushie.”

Eunice: *GASP* “THINKING ABOUT A MARRIED MAN, I’M TELLING YOUR HUSBAND, THEN I’M TELLING HIS WIFE, AND HIS WIFE IS GOING TO PUT A TRAIN SPIKE THROUGH YOUR wow he does have a nice ass, you weren’t kidding.”

Oh wow, Happiness.  Third time you rolled this want, and you finally got the right stroller to the right baby.  Wasn’t too big of a deal before, but I’m so so proud of you!

Happiness: “What?  I got the wrong baby?!  Oh Fuddruckers, I do, I thought I was taking Loyalty out instead!   My bad.”

Wrath: “Do you hear me complaining?  Now mush, Shadowfax, and show us the meaning of toothpaste!”

Oh, that better have been something YOU wanted Marlena.

Marlena: “I think it was.  I just want what’s best for my children, and nothing like going through the first 183 pages of the dictionary every night for a proper education.”

Brave: “Yeah, it’ll put you to sleep, and trust me, if we had the option to ask for stories again, I don’t think I would be asking for this.”

Marlena: “Now you see what happens when you get sassy with me young lady?”

Brave: “Yes mother…”

The sexy night in swimtrucks resulted in another baby, since I’m still hoping for some genetic mixing.

Happiness: “Wow, this is such a beautiful little neighborhood, Jaime!  Everything here is so clear and crisp and beautiful!  If I could move my family, I would move them here, because this is so nice *Sparkle sparkle happy*”

Jaime: *Grumbles horrible cuss words under his breath and smokes death everywhere*

Happiness wanted to pillow fight with his BFF5EVA, but whenever he goes looking for Jaime, Jaime’s gotta work, or isn’t in the mood, yeah Jaime, taking your kid to work at 9 in the morning, sure.  I know the break up with Fancy is pretty damn sad, but stop blowing off Happiness so much.

Well that was only a matter of time.

Jealousy: “The fact that he’s even still alive is frustrating me enough as it is.”

Jealousy: “Alright, Farmer Tan Terry.  Tell me I’m hot.”

Old guy: “Wow, a little quick on the draw, aren’t you honey?”

Jealousy: “Ok, that took too long and was unintresting.”

Old guy: *Had already tried to go in for the titty* “Aw come on, baby!  Don’t be like that!”

Eunice: “What’s going on?  I’m floating, but I don’t get any sparkles?!  Why don’t I get any happy sparkles?!  Where the hell am I going then?!”

Loyalty: “The hell?  The hell!”

Eunice: “Oh shut up, you little parrot.”

Loyalty: “Yaaay, childhood twama!”

Eunice: “Like you would even know what that is, kid.  I sure hope I’m not the only one home today.”

Grim: “Whoa whoa whoa, I’m here to take HER soul?!  What the crap man, I was promised by your wife that the next time I came here, it would be for you!”

Edgardo: “Huh?  What are you talking about?  Eunice is the oldest in the family right now, so unless she was gonna live forever, then logically she’s next!  So take her!  I know I’m much older than the others, but I’m not THIS old!”

Edgardo: “Now why in the world would Jealousy go around telling Death that I’m supposed to be next?  Is she off her rocker?!”

Eunice: *Smacks Edgardo’s organs around on her way out*

RIP Eunice.  You lived the longest out of the founding generation, and just got a promotion for the first time in a hundred years.  Jealousy will probably grow lettuce on you in the yard.

Congradulations, Jealousy!  Your mom died!  *Party whistles*

Jealousy: “What?!”

Eunice hadn’t been dead for two minutes and someone’s already calling dibs on her stuff.

Brave: “Mmmm, the bed is still warm…”

Yeah, and it’s also getting deleted right now, so move.

Anger: “Why did grandma have to die?!  She was the only one that cared about me after mom got those photo booth photos with me.”

Van: “Did you know that it’s fun to randomly show up at other peoples houses after school and not even know anyone there?!  You should try it, Kid That’s Not Even In My Class!”

Jealousy: “The loss of my mother has hit me hard.  While she was a nonfunctioning dumbass with a fetish for the trampoline in her youth, she was my mother, and I will honor her by fucking up my own outfit in her name.”

I don’t even know how

I should have paid more attention to the little house visitor.  Four in the morning and I realized that he’s stuck in the portal bedroom having a little playtime on the rolling chair.

Van: “Release the neurotoxin!  I MEAN WAIT, DON’T”

Marlena: “Oh, crub!  Not again!  I just can’t seem to make it to the little girls room!”

I sure hope it was worth it.

Marlena: “That puddle is just getting bigger!  I hope it doesn’t ruin any of Wrath’s toys.  I better sit back down and watch it slowly evaporate just to be sure.”

I wonder if she will starve to death in that damn chair.  I sure hope so.  I hope so so bad.

Jealousy: “Wrath, what the hell happened in here?!  Why does it smell like piss and failure in here?!”

Marlena: “I wonder if I wish really really hard, if this chair will conjure me up a sandwich.”

Oh please just starve there.

Brave: “Aw, why does my dad have to be in this bathroom when I want to use this particular toilet?!  I didn’t want to see your dangles today, daddy!  Why does life have to be so hard?!”

Happiness: “That’s your fault, sweetie.  There are two other bathrooms that were just finished hardly an hour ago, you could have gone to either of those instead.”

I noticed this notification because I think Mr. Boots is such a cute name.  What a cute baby!  Mr. Boots. Then I noticed that the owner looks like she would be pretty cute as well.

Jada: “Can you NOT film me while I’m working out!  I’m so gross right now!”

She is pretty cute, and the best part was, while I was giving her a makeover, I peaked into her personality, and she is evil! This is excites me so much, I haven’t seen an evil sim in this town in AGES!  Every flipping person around this town is good, and there hasn’t been a single one that is evil at all!  This is the greatest thing to happen to me in game in a long time.

Yeah guys, I think we found our next gen spouse really early.

Happiness: “Whooooooooa… she’s hot.”

Jada: “You bet your ass I am.”

I think Jada was that popular girl from high school that every school has.

Happiness: “We like it and we’re gonna put a ring on it~”

Jada: “You cannot put a ring on this perfection”

Hah, we’ll see about that…

I absolutely love this photo of these two so much.

Marlena: “Hmmmmmm, I wonder where this puddle could have come from!  That so strange!  I better sit in this chair some more and contemplate the answer to this strange riddle.”

That’s IT, this is YOUR fault, Marlena!  I have to delete that chair now just so you will be a functioning person again, AND I LOVED THAT CHAIR.  UGH.

WAY TO RUIN IT FOR EVERYONE ELSE.

Kindness: “I’m so glad you invited me over today.  I recently had a death in my life, and oh, my sweetie left me a day after we met.  She was the love of my life.  Why oh why… ”

Oh goodie, you can come over and cry the whole time about your dead cougar.  Thanks, Kindness.

It’s a double birthday this go around, both for Anger and Wrath.

OH GOD NOT YOU TOO, ENVY

Envy: “Mmm, I see what my sister is talking about…”

Edgardo: “Why me”

Both the town fairies stopped by to bring us pies, probably trying to prove who is a better pie maker or something.

Jerald: “Why would you even invite this grape?!”

Marlena: “Wow, did you not even see the bathroom we have up here, Edgardo?  You didn’t have to go make a mess like this, you know!”

I DON’T WHAT TO HEAR IT FROM YOU, MARLENA, EDGARDO IS STUCK IN THE WALL, YOU’RE JUST A STUPID BITCH

Edgardo: “It was an accident, I didn’t mean it!  Don’t go telling my wife what happened, little music note, I am sorry!”

Jealousy: “Alright kid.  You ready to grow up out of this bullcrap baby phase of yours?  I am.  I’m tired of kids.  Don’t ever have kids, kid.”

Anger: “It’s also my birthday as well, everyone.”

Jealousy: “Yep, that’s right, grow up to continue to disappoint me, that’s cool.”

Everyone else at the party: *Literally not giving a shit*

Everyone else at the party: *Continues to not give a shit*

Jealousy: *Joins them*

Wrath now has a sense of humor like her mother.  If she’s anything like her mother, she’ll probably rarely use it.

Wrath: “What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?  The wheelchair.”

Maybe she will.  Maybe it’s a bad idea.

Happiness: “I’m about to destroy this pie.  So.  Hard.”

Jerald: “WHAT ABOUT MY PIE?!  WHAT’S WRONG WITH MY PIE?!  WHY WON’T ANYONE EVER EAT MY FAIRY PIE?!”

Marlena: *Trying very hard to care*

Anger: “Anyone got a dollar to bum?  No?  Uh, I’ll just go back to my little corner then…”

I think he’s a mooch now.  Maybe he’ll make rich friends and get us a lot of money.  I doubt it though.

Wrath: “What’s it called when two skeletons have sex?  Boning!  …AW, COME ON THAT WAS FUNNY AS SHIT!”

Jaime: “I guess you can say that joke… killed.”

Wrath: “THIS FUCKING SINK DOESN’T RECOGNIZE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR IF IT BIT IT ON THE-ooooh, I see what you did, you’re funny, Jaime.  I’ll have to remember that one the next time I have a conversation with the bathtub.”

Happiness: “Sorry, there’s a line to the bathroom.  Anger’s currently hogging it up to cry in about his dead grandmother.  You and I and the dog are just going to have to wait to use the toilet.”

Jaime: “Oh that’s ok, I’m only in here to use your sink, since your horrid joke telling second cousin broke the kitchen sink with her terrible humor.  I only have one plate though.”

Happiness: “…Yeah, you’re going to have to wait to use our sink too.”

Ophaniel: “Why am I even in here?”

Jaime: “Jeez, what a hideous mustache on that kid.  Do you think if I held him down, you’d be able to shave that ugly catepiller off his lip?  It’ll probably save his social life down the road if we do so.”

Happiness: “That’s actually not a half bad idea.”

Anger: “I suddenly feel like I’m hunted by unfamiliar vampires…”

Ophaniel: “No seriously guys, I don’t know why I’m in here!  And now I can’t get back out!  Why is life so confusing as a dog?”

Happiness: “Heeeeeeey Eagle!  I was just thinking about you, despite the fact that we’ve never really met, and for some reason, you’re human again!  I was just wondering, how does someone with terrible facial hair like you go about life the way you do!  I mean, you are the expert on terrible mustaches, I’d like to know because my cousin Anger looks horrible… hello?”

By the way, for the record, while Egret has had three kids so far with her first husband and just recently lost her second husband to death, Eagle has yet to do jack shit with his life.  It’s probably the facial hair.

Marlena: “La dee Da, on my way to put Loyalty to bed, heading towards the correct crib for the first time in my life…”

Marlena: *Drops toddler* “OH NO, THE CONTRACTIONS ARE STARTING!”

Happiness: “OH NO, MY WIFE LET’S GO TO THE HOSPITAL, WE GOTTA, oh Loyalty, you’re bleeding.  That’s not good.”

We welcome the third daughter to Happiness and Marlena, this one is named Charity, and hopefully she will be gracious enough to give me the genetic diversity I so crave.  She is a couch potato who loves the outdoors and loves classical music, stu surprise, and green.  Sort of like her older sister, who likes irish green, but it’s a shade darker, which makes a WHOLE WORLD OF DIFFERENCE LET ME TELL YOU

Will she be a mix?  Or will she be another clone and break my heart?  Only next chapter will tell…

Last but not least, Egret who has recently lost the second husband as recently stated (whom was Marlena’s father btw) she has moved on to her third, and I’m starting to think she has a thing for older men.

Then again, these men might have a weird fascination with Death.  Whatever, I don’t judge.