I Hate Firetrucks

Demise: “Have you ever looked at the ingredient list on our packaged plasma drinks?  They pack so many preservatives in this shit, man.  I know it’s really hard to get our supply straight from any sources, seeing as 90% of this town are vampires, but I’m telling you, this stuff is slowly killing us and really can’t be good for our livers in the long run.”

Violence: “Oh my god… who fucking CARES man…”Violence: “But yeah, thanks asshole.  Thanks for bringing me a drink.  Really could go for a cold one myself.  Haha, how did you know.”

Demise: “No, Violence!  That was for ME!  Give it back dude…”

Hetal: “Really?  This is where my linage has come down to?  Vampires squabbling over a carnal V8?  All that magical prowess I wanted to pass on.  Wasted.”Violence: “Anyway that’s when Demise said if I didn’t give it back he was gonna knock out my teeth, so I suckerpunched him and knocked his out first, and that’s why Courage has me on restriction.”

Euphoria: “You really need to spend more time with your sweet little cousin here, honey.  Modesty is such a calm cool and collected individual and I’m kinda hoping she’d rub off on you somehow.”

Modesty: “Grandma let me go before Demise isn’t the only one going to the dentist any time soon.”Aw.  The ground is asleep.

Rage: “Shh.  Tiny snow is dreaming.”Haha, I got you.  It’s just ghosts.

Hello Baal, long time no see.

Baal: “I just thought of something.  If humans domesticated bears instead of wolves, would we have still called the end result a “dog”?”Torture: “I’m sorry, as much as I like hanging out with you, Miracle.  Your sister is fucking scary as shit.”

Miracle: “Just ignore her like I do.  She’s a really good person once you get to know her, but you’re right.  It does get hard to look at her sometimes.”

Luck: “Just you wait.  You will be my friend.  One way or another.  Mark my words.”Looks like you’re late to the party again, Angel.

Angel: “NOOOOOO!! NOT AGAIN!!  I can’t afford to go back to the principal’s office for being late anymore!!”Angel: “Oh man… considering the size of this crowd I’ll be lucky just to get to fifth period before it lets out.”

I do feel a bit bad for you buddy, but such is the way of life around these parts.Famine: “Great.  Nice to see you’ve dropped another one out between your knees.”

Malice: “I know right, damn, where do they keep coming from”

So yeah at this point I absolutely HAD to buckle down and fix their relationship panel.  I have, in the past, looked into it but could never find the option to fix broken trees, and therefore never put much effort into it.  However, this has gotten obnoxious and gross.  Usually, in my games “sibling couples” were generous enough to not give me babies, but this is their second and they can’t keep doing this to me.

However.  I spent an ungodly amount of time scouring through my Nraas options and either I’m missing a mod or a Master Controller addon or something, or I just can’t because they already have babies together?  And it can’t link the tree together because of that? (can I completely “annihilate” them? I just now thought of that)

Anyway, I got impatient and gave up.  What I ended up doing is making them strangers again and moving them to complete opposite sides of town.  Not a guarantee but this way they got a better chance of finding anyone else, at least eventually…OR MALICE COULD DO THIS IMMEDIANTLY AFTER BEING SEPARATED

I TRIED TO BE GENEROUSFear: “I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR DISGRACES, MALICE!! I HAVE BEEN GENEROUS, BUT NOW I WILL SEND MY FINEST ASSASSIN TO END YOUR SHIT ONCE AND FOR ALL!!”

Happiness: “Is it me?  I do have a very fine buttbutt, or as you called it.”Teagan: “Ee!  Right in th’ babymakeh!!  That’ll surely effect ma’ ‘biliteh t’ reproduce any time soon!”

And yet, you are several years too late on that.

Fear: “AND WHILE I’M ON THE TOPIC, YOUR ART SUCKS”

Happiness: “OH THAT’S IT WHITE BOY YOU’RE GOING DOWN”Teagan: “Well tha’ was only a matteh o’ time.”

That was also several years overdue I’m sure.Happiness: “YOU REALLY THOUGHT HUH??? What did I TELL YOU, Fear?!  I maxxed athletic CENTURIES AGO!!  You will NEVER stand a chance against a specimen like me!!”

Fear: “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH my kidneys”Fear: “But little do you know, Happiness, this was just Phase One of my plan.  Now I know your fighting style.  Now I can study it and master my own counter attack.  I will be back before you know it.  And when I do, I hope you’ve prayed to the Unseen for forgiveness by then.”

Happiness: “You really are dumb as a slab of wet ham you know that?”Speaking of brawling.  Although this is just their daily routine nowadays.

Rita: “You dare show your face around here again after showing your face around here.”

Nora: “I know I’m getting paid nonetheless but I’m not getting paid for this.”Rita: “Great.  Now we have to stop and deal with this EmErGeNcY bullshit or whatever keeps happening around here almost every day.”Nora: “No.  I refuse.  I turned on the Silent Mode.  We aren’t done here, bitch.”

Rita: “BRO.  You can’t just silence an “emergency”.  People might, like, die or some shit.  Hehe, cool.”

Oh my god, do NOT START THIS BUG AGAIN GAME.  WE LITERALLY HAVE ONE RESCUE LEFT AND COURAGE IS RUNNING OUT OF TIME.  STOP TOYING WITH MEEEEEENora: “Alright alright alright.  Y’all.  Off to the emergency or whatever it was.  I didn’t get the address before I turned the alarm off.  Just follow any smoke you see or any screaming children you can hear from a well or whatever.”

Terror: “Follow smoke and the sounds of screaming children?  What the hell is this madhouse??  This is NOT what I signed up for…”

Courage: “Haha yeah, make someone around here do some work for once, woo!!”Riodorito.  Whatever his name is: “Does scraping him off the floor count as doing my job?”

Courage: “I don’t know.  Not my problem actually since he doesn’t count towards our body count anymore.  If anyone needs me I’m going to go home for the day so don’t need me.”Anyway, checking on the teens wandering around town after class.  How did you sneak under Fear’s radar after all these years, Sarah???Fear: *Manifests in thin air*

Sarah: “Noooo this is my only good work jacket”

Spirit: “Dang, this kitchen’s all blood red scheme might be symbolic of something but all that matters to me is if it’s a good place to do my homework I guess.”Fear: “After all these years, nothing tastes better than a fresh convert.”

Sarah: “At least pay me for my jacket, dude.”

Robin: “Oh uh hey doctor, hehe look I know me coming in through your window looks bad but uh… anyway where do you keep your money”

Finn: “Robin I know it’s you btw you can’t keep cancelling your prostrate exams”Courage: “Oh sad little dirt castle.  The weekend is fast approaching, and my kids are about to start popping into their adult stages.  I think the universe is toying with me.  I only need one more rescue to be satisfied with life and I’m starting to think someone up there enjoys this cruel tease.  Maybe Fear is right and there is an unseen force messing with me…”

I swear if this is going to be the case I will lose my absolute mind.Fear: “You know what,Demise?  I have been thinking.”

Demise: “About what, dad?”

Fear: “I just think it’s been too long since we’ve gotten a dog around here.  I aim to fix that.”Nergal: “But I am dog around h- oh.  You mean that kind of dog.  Not my business then I guess.”

Demise: “Dad, what in the SHIT”

Euphoria: “Really do you guys really have to do this on our freshly cleaned floor??  Now the carpet is going to have lycantrophy.”Demise: “Dammit dad, why did you do that.  Now I have a massive sunburn and it’s all your fault.”Not long after he had a hormonal fart and popped into his first werewolf transformation!  And honestly each time I see a werewolf in this game they just look more and more lethargic and cracked out than their previous prodecessor.

Demise: “At least I’m not a furry from 4 though.”

At this point is that actually a good thing…Anyway.  Boy… what… are you doing…Demise: “THE SNACK THAT SMILES BACK”

Goldfish: “GULP”

Littler goldfish: “GULP”NOOOOOOOO wait I forgot that’s what I named the goldfish lol

Fucknugget: “I am have a very big scare”Holy shit no Demise don’t eat the goldfish ASS FIRST

Fucknugget: “Damn bro at least buy me dinner first”Fucknugget: “Please… I was so innocent in life, don’t slurp me, noooo I still have so much to live foooorrrr, nooooooooooooo”Fucknugget: “Hehehehehehehe that was my oversized cardboard decoy it’s ok I’m still alive hehehehehe”

Demise: “I can’t believe I got had by a fish.”

And then the goldfish bowl became uninteractable so I doubt Demise will be doing that again anytime soon.Catastrophe: “I too want to sleep on the magic levitate-y bed!!  Dad, do something!  Make Happiness go somewhere else so I can sleep here too!”

Fear: “Get in line loser, I’m only here so when Happiness fucks off, I can just roll over and have my turn at the bed too!”

Maybe I should just invest in more vampire beds around here…Happiness: “FRIDGE BROKE AGAIN FRIDGE BROKE AGAIN FRIDGE BROKE AGAIN FRIDGE BROKE AGAIN”

So I didn’t put anything in the fridge BUT I DID manually throw something away in the trash, so I still think I’m onto something.  MAD I CAN’T CLEAN AFTER THESE ASSHOLES MYSELF THOUGHSanguine: “So what am I supposed to do about this pulverized chicken that won’t cook itself??  It’s really just going to sit here for the rest of all time then?”

Violence: “Haha.  I guess so.  Sucks to be you I see.”Violence: “Unlike you I’m not going to act glued to the floor and I’m gonna make a margherita!  Because I have more than two braincells and can sustain myself!  Good luck with your salmonella, nerd.”

Sanguine: “Such is the suffering of my life.”Then the family had to come all out to the graveyard at 5am in the morning during a blizzard, because why?  Because a stray was chewing on the STONE statue at the gate and needed 20 people to come all at once to scold it.

Violence: “Like hell it does.  I’m taking advantage of this while there’s no line at the shower and will see you idiots later.”Teagan: “Dis dog deserves an upmost brutal punishment.  Got any suggestions Euphie?”

Shannon: “I don’t know about you but all I see here is a snack myself.”

Teagan: “Ignorin’ me sisteh, bein’ weird as shite as usual.”Around this time I got another MM with Happiness’ LTW credit card as the other one went missing and I hadn’t bothered.

Figured it was time to use it for a nice boost as the dog kinda dicked with everyone trying to sleep, I guess from the… loud stone munching I don’t fucking knowAnd of COURSE they decided to jump into Courage’s busted ass firetruck the station gave him that he can’t fix because “THERE’S NO WHERE TO PUT IT IN THE YARD” despite being plenty of room so fuck that

Malignant: “Um excuse you I’m pretty sure this is a hybrid?  Whether the maid likes it or not.”Shannon: “You told me we were going on a moodlet cleanse ride… the air conditioner doesn’t even work in this death trap right!!”

Courage: “Yeah… sorry about that, just as I’m sorry for eating that garlic bean burrito this morning.  I’d say just roll down the windows but the handles dry rotted and snapped off a month ago.”They then proceeded to sit in the firetruck for over two hours because they had to wait on THIS ASSHOLE to do nothing but stand in front of his bed before coming down and joining them.

Demise: “And I’d wait longer if it weren’t for your nosey meddling ass.”Demise: “I see you two decided to not go at all and pout around in the hallway.  That was an option too I guess.”

Torment: “And be caught up in that giant red death trap with 20 other bodies?  No thank you!”

Side note but at this time Alastor has taken up perma-haunting the house for now.Demise: “Oh.  I see they decided to go on without me.”

Good for them.  That’s what you deserve for fucking around and taking your sweet time.The game sometimes does this dumb thing where not all the public lots show up on the town’s overhead view so Courage just took them to a nearby house to get the MM boost.

Malevolent: “IF WE TOOK THE MM IN THE FIRST PLACE.”

Euphoria: “Malevolent has a point, Courage.”

Courage: “But I wanted to show off my new Woo Woo :(“Malignant: “No one even LIVES in this house!!  Why did we even come here in the first place?!”

Because it was actually the ONLY lot at the time to show up in the town’s overhead view at all… I hate this game sometimes.Courage: “Oh well, everyone BACK IN MY FUN TRUCK TRUCK!!  WHOO WHOO!!!”

Modesty: “Already?!  What the fuck man, at least give me warning so I can sidestep off the sidewalk before you park the damn thing on my FUCKING KNEES”And then the game reset them and they got slung on the other side of the block.  Now everyone’s suffering and a whole day has been wasted.  Thanks a fucking lot, Courage.

Courage: “But did you at least have fun sitting in my brand new fire truck?”

Happiness: “I’m selling that piece of broken junk on Simbook Marketplace as soon as we get home you little dipstick.”

And I did, eff that fire truck.Jubilee: “Alright assholes.  I’m just going to say this once and only once.  It’s my birthday today too, and I am not doing these dishes on my own birthday.”

As opposed to anyone doing dishes ever around here?And then she did the dishes anyway.

Jubilee: “Fuck my life.”Jubilee: “Whatever, it’s birthday time, sluts!”

Violence: *Is about to make more dishes*Welcome to the teens, Jubilee. She’s now an animal lover.

Jubilee: “Excuse YOU I am now an animal print lover.  For my birthday I demand 100 dalmatians immediately.”She also looks so cool.  Her eyebrows following the cut of that hairdo is really badass.

Jubilee: “I am badass.  Give me heirship.”

Sadly I cannot.  Sorry.Omen: *Too busy practicing his ahegao face*

Courage: “Not over the counter, Omen.  We prepare food here.”

Jubilee: “Hm.  Maybe I don’t want to lead this mess of a family after all anyway.”Despite being a very snow-heavy winter, spring came up and all the snow fucked off instantly.

Snowman ass: “I’m just here because I enjoy being g’.”

Sanguine: “I waited all winter to start the slip n’ slide up and just because it’s still like 39 degrees out here isn’t going to stop me!”You really just going to stand around in your wolf form and just be miserable for the rest of your life, huh Demise.

Demise: “You bet your flat ass I am.”Torture: “Woe is my life.  I think I was ignored my entire childhood and cannot relate to this dreary rainfall any more than I have ever before.”

No one can be happy for anything in this stupid game.Torture: “Anyway while I got your attention WEEEE IT’S BIRTHDAY TIME FOR MEEE!!”

Jubilee: “But why do you have to do it in MY BATHROOM.”Torture: “Yeah well why did you have to SLAM THE DOOR IN MY FACE DURING MY UNVEILING”

Jubilee: “BECAUSE IT’S MY BATHROOM YOU ROOMBA SLUT GET THE HELL OUT!!”Another cutie mctootie for the books. 

It’s so sad because he’s now a night owl.  Without the evil trait he has also struck out for heirship.  Such a shame as he was such a well behaved sim.Bliss: “And I can’t believe we missed it because he had to do it between two hinges and a bathroom corner.”

Torture: “Cry about it I guess”Sorrow: “If it’s my twin’s birthday then that also mean’s it’s also my birthday!  Let’s party!  I’m going to celebrate by flipping this chess board!!”

Spirit: “Yeaaaah!!  Get in there and tear it up!!”

Shannon: “Not on my watch you aren’t young man.”And here is the ABSOLUTE TORMENT CLONE.  Sorrow is also out of the running with the fucking SAILOR TRAIT.  He now has to live with a tacky beach outfit because I don’t know why and/or I’m pissed at all the evil strikeouts.

Sorrow: “Eh, beach hair, don’t care.”

This brings an end to our heir potentials which means I’m going to put up a poll now for the ones that did make the cut.Our first child up for grabs is our very own Violence.  He’s a light sleeper and loves the heat.  He grew up rebellious, which kinda shows since he only became evil at the last minute just to taunt me.

He spends all his time scowling at every one and stealing Happiness’ bed.  He’s friends with Calamity, of all people in the house though.And second is Malevolent, who was born evil.  Along with being neurotic, however, she’s also a loser and a schmoozer.  Honestly if her next birthday she becomes insane I wouldn’t be surprised.  Her best friend forever is actually Catastrophe, which is a shock to me as I never have ever seen them interact.

So here we are!  Just two out of a batch of ten but I guess I “should” be grateful for that?  Anyway, vote for your favorite today!  I’ll leave the vote up for a while, and then soon we will have a vote for the good side of the family if Luck and/or Miracle strike out with a guarantee.

Please poll box, don’t be weird and break on me ):