Now with Violence

shabnb We just had the ever so lovely Shannon MacAnna join the family as Courage’s bride, so here she is!

She’s the perfect opposite of her sister other than they both being geniuses, and Shannon wants to be a Forensic Specialist.

Anyway. The usual over-celebrator this time is that Robin guy.

Robin: “Congradumalations!”

Hurricane Tittyslinger: “Aw you shouldn’t have~”Fear: “The party is over and everyone else has gone home. I figured you’d be down for a longer stay and wanted to have a chat with you, Robin. Tell me, have you time to talk about our lord and savior, the Uns-”

Robin: “Have some rice, Fear! Today is a very happy day!”

Fear: “Are you serious.”Robin: “Of course! Today is a day to celebrate! Here. More grains for your scalp! It’s a ye old remedy to get rid of any skin demons that plague your head as well!”

Fear: “Ok, really though who keeps supplying idiots like you with oversized grains of rice to throw indefinetely like this.”

I think the rice are just the same .png of the eggs teens use to throw at houses, distorted.Robin: “We had such a bountiful harvest last year, and the rice is endless! Partake in our good fortune and good crop, Fear, and celebrate the wedding!!”

Fear: “Forget converting your ass, I’m just going to straight fucking kill you.”Euphoria: “My boy! My pride and joy! And now he’s a married man! I’ve never felt so much happiness in my life.”

Courage: “Why are you constantly following me around the house”

Euphoria: “Pillow fights mostly”Ah yes, gotta love a good throw back glitch that I thought died with Marlena.

Hugh: “Dammit, if I don’t make it upstairs to the bathroom in time, I sure hope work at least gives me my injury compensation.”

Oh yeah, that’s a totally broken arm for sure.

Hugh: “Noooo!! This could put me out of work for months! Maybe even a year! How will I attend emergencies now?!”

When were you even attending emergencies before is the real question.Fear: “Oh hey bro, how’ya doing :3c”

Pestilence: “Ugh. Why do you keep showing up when I don’t want you around, can’t you just let me LIVE my LIFE”Apparently alongside his brothers, Terror has also joined the team as a fellow fireman!!

Hugh: “And yet all he does all day is play that stupid game box and hog up the tv! He says he can’t be disturbed by anything because he’s playing “competitive”! Why did we even hire him in the first place? I don’t even think the lad has ever handled an emergency in his life!”

Have ANY of you???Courage: “Sure love coming to work to work on the firetruck because no one else will actually let me do it myself and I’ve been wishing to do so as long as I can remember but everyone around here has to do it themselves, grumble grumble”

Cool and all, but next time remember your toolbox, that air screwdriver won’t do anything to those imaginary parts.Famine: “Hello! I also work here! And it’s so nice that I get paid to do jack because my older brother has volunteered to assist with the repairs we have around here. Such a kind, caring, excellent example of a volunteer firefighter!”

Fear: “I’m just here to scope out new “friends” and that got boring quick, besides, if you let this alarm go downhill, and emergencies just happen and MY constituents/friends die because of it, guess who’s ass is on the line then.”Fear: “Ah yes. That was MY work. I fixed those wirings! Also which direction is the nearest audiologist’s office”Good luck with this one Courage? Also LOOK OUT MR RACCOON OH GOD While watching Courage flatten that animal into the newest fashionable rug, I noticed Loathing nearby running down to work. Sucks he didn’t join his brothers at the fire station but intresting he now works alongside Judd and (kinda) Euphoria.

Loathing: “Someone has to beat Judd back into shape after 46 years of avoiding every one of his shifts. And don’t I sure love the beatings >:)”

Judd: “I’m going to die first :)”Courage: “Ma’am! I’m here to RESCUE you!! I want to help you! How can I assist!!”

Lorna: “I was just burning all the books in my study for fun and wouldn’t you know it, it started a FIRE! I need you to put it out before my mom kills me!!”

Courage: “L…Lorna you do know you’re 35 right”Courage: “Such a huge fire! In such a close vicinity to the victim! This should count as saving her life, right? Right? Right? Right??? RIGHT??????”Courage: “I saved Lorna, saved her house, even managed to save her whole library, but she won’t even turn around and tell everyone I saved her, and this won’t count for me at all…”

Lorna: *Already lost intrest and left to go pick up some McDonalds or some shit*

FUCKING

SERIOUS???Courage: “Fire safety and technology is advancing so fast, I don’t think anything I do is actually “saving” anyone. Do I really have a purpose in life then….?”

Off topic from his brooding crisis, I really need to know why this house feels the need to have two telescopes five feet from each other. When I first saw that I thought I was stroking out.During the depressing drive home for Courage, I did notice that this town has one of the most beautiful sunsets of any town I have seen so far.This town is so scenic, I actually could kick myself for never having come here sooner.Anyway, Courage’s “job” is over, Fear’s “job” will now commence.

Mason: “Just do it man. I read the pamphlets you passed out after your cousin’s wedding and a lifetime of servitude to your god of blood sounds so much better than the upcoming slaughter from the rise of the army of dragons come the next solar eclipse.”

Fear: “Uh. Yeah definetely.”Damn do these bats look lumpy as FUCK

Bat: *Hasn’t had a fresh resolution since 2009*Happiness: “Euphoria, I’m so nervous about that woman. We both know that Fear is going to make her a vampire, and with him already running rampant and threatening everything we hold dear, if he were to be successful and turn her to his dark side… we can’t let her do that, Euphie! Vampires are scum of the earth, nothing but vile blood sucking vermin and monsters and just absolutely no good unholy abominations!”Euphoria: “Happiness. You’re a vampire.”

Happiness: “… oh yeah.”

Euphoria: “Happiness. You’re the vampire that turned Fear in the FIRST PLACE.”

Happiness: “Hehehehee. Oh yeah…”

Teagan: “If aye arsk fer nothin’ else, I arsk that the babe does nae inherient any of their stewpid.”Teagan: “And YEW! Yew bloody dobber, ye wee shite of a leech! Oughta take ye tae the dump ‘n lea’ ye wur ya oughta live!!”

Pain: “Have you ever looked into a dictionary, I bet it’ll do a world of good for you”Pain: “What if she really DOES go through with it, and chunks me into a dump? How will I ever get back to my beloved chair then???”

Would be a tragedy wouldn’t it.Ended up having to call a repair man like four times for everything before saying fuck it. Because no one was bothering to show. Courage needed to up his handiess game anyway.Courage: “Oh wow I was forced to repair my own computer and the town council said that was “good enough” for a promotion and set me an actual firecoat to wear to my job now. I’m so miffed. Like what was I wearing before this???”Oh. OH. Now that Courage has threatened to fix all the things in the house, only NOW do you come out of the wood work.

Patricia: “Yep! And I promise I’ll do a darn good job too! I’m just gonna threaten ya computer by brandishin’ my screwdriver in front of its screen, and it’ll be so scared of me it’ll be up and running in now time.”Patricia: “And as for your man! Oh wot a man he is. Let him know he can brandish his screwdriver at me any time he wants.”

Just do your job for once, hoebag.Teagan: “OH I BETTAH BE GETTIN TH’ GOOD EPI FER THIS FUQUOR”Fear: “SHIT THE SACRIFICING KNIFE AND ALTAR IS STILL BEING SHIPPED BY MAIL WE WON’T HAVE TIME TO HARVEST YOU OH THE UNSEEN ONE IS GOING TO BE SO PISSED AT ME”

Teagan: “TH’ HOSP’TOL IS A GOOD ALTERNATIVE”Teagan: “Hm. Mehbeh aye cae shove ’em under tha’ rock ‘n nu’one would be th’ wiser.”

Here’s the first of his gen, Violence Fallen. He likes irish green (sounds about right), vegetarian FISH AND CHIPS (SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT), and beach party music (I guess so).

He loves the heat and is a light sleeper so there’s the usual room for improvement.He has a nice little dungeon nursery for you to dump him off in and never have to look at him ever again if you don’t want to, Teagan.

Teagan: “Aye fuk’n betta not.”And we are going to scoot right along with a little more… future planning.Courage is out dating his new wifey on a lovely little beach trip on a shitty little day. Absolutely the safest thing to do during a storm by far, but we will take this date downtown by the firestation anyway.… Wait a minute. I had to do a double take but….Zerachiel???? PESTILENCE???? YOU STOLE ZERACHIEL?????

Pestilence: “Um. I guess so, lol. We’re buddies now anyway you can’t have him back.”

I don’t think I ever even noticed or realized that Pestilience had Zerachiel when he left the family so that’s on me for not being observant but still, that’s such a dick move Pestilence.Fear: “Mom, did you hear?? I have a SON now! A wonder baby boy to cherish and care for! I’m going to raise my beautiful boy to be the future Reigning Hell Priest that I could possibly raise!!”

Crystal: “Ah yes, now my own child has his turn at being a single mother themselves. Such a rewarding experience.”Fear: “I will treasure you and ensure you and I will be forever closely bonded and best friends forever, and I will ensure that you will learn absolutely NOTHING during your toddler years because you must grow up tough and evil because that’s what our Eldrich Leader requires of us.”

Yeah I’m opting to not even try to teach the evil kids toddler skills just because I read somewhere that they are more likely to learn “negative” traits when they have bad life stages and that sucks that I’m just now getting that this late in this legacy.Famine: “You guys got to back me up! She’s been hogging that tv all day! Come on guys! It’s my turn with the tv today and I’m going to miss all my soaps…”

Courage: “Now where could my wife have even possibly gotten to…”Shannon: “You really should get those ears of yours looked at. To be that pink for this long, Famine?? That can’t be healthy. It just… urp… makes me so sick to look at…”

Famine: “No really guys can’t we just invoke that no civilians even come into this building anymore…”Fear: “Oh my darling Teagan. Mother of my Spawn. I have waited long enough for this day (mostly because if you die out in the sun while pregnant because you must ABSOLUTELY suntan at the worst possible time I was going to lose my mind), but I think it’s time that you join me in the Coven of the Blastphemous Undead.”

Teagan: “Fer this day, I have waited. Mostleh because aye got nofin’ else goin’ on righ’ now.”And so there we got a countdown on Teagan to be the next vampire in this family.And we celebrate that with some woohoo.Fear: “GOOD UNDEAD LORD!! TEAGAN!! I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I’M SEEING ON THIS PAPER!!”Fear: “There’s NOTHING!! WE AREN’T IN THESE PRINTS AT ALL!!”